Celebrity drunk and dropper of ice coffee, Ben Affleck, had some words to say yesterday on the Howard Stern show about his former marriage to Jennifer Garner.
Affleck, you’ll recall, schtupped the nanny a few years ago (among other sins), and after the divorce, lived in the family guest cottage. For The Children. (I had a Dear God Woman Put Down the Hopium rant at Garner in 2016 if you care to catch up.)
Since then, Affleck has rekindled his dysfunction with Jennifer Lopez. And Garner’s been out front on the Amiable Co-Parenting campaign, even going so far as to join Bennifer on Halloween to take the kids trick-or-treating. (Ben went as the Tin Man, the guy without a heart. The metaphors write themselves.)
So what has all this Conscious Uncoupling gotten Garner?
A very public kick in the teeth.
“I probably still would’ve still been drinking,” said Ben Affleck to Howard Stern yesterday, referring to his former marriage.
“Part of why I started drinking was because I was trapped.”
Oh you poor sausage. Three children, an adoring wife, all of whom drove you to drink! Whatever shall they make you do next? Change your sweatshirt, you pathetic ball sack?
“I was like, ‘I can’t leave because of my kids, but I’m not happy, what do I do?’
Grow the fuck up? Have an honest conversation? Buy a puppy? Alas there was no one to suggest these things and order your life for you.
“We grew apart. We had a marriage that didn’t work. This happens.”
WHEN YOU FUCK THE HELP.
No, no, no — that’s all lies, says Ben.
During the divorce, they printed f****** horrible lies. Horrible mean lies.”
“Like what? What were the lies?” Stern asked.
“I don’t even want to give voice to it,” The Tender Bar star replied. “Anything you read about that was bulls***.”
Ben Affleck has the vapors. People have been MEAN.
Ben is never mean. Not that time he accepted an Oscar and told all assembled that his marriage to Garner was “work.” Or that time he was cheating on Garner with the nanny. I’m sorry, no, just dating the nanny at exactly the moment the divorce was announced. Because that’s a thing. Skeevy celebrity looks around, finds nearest human, pronounces her his girlfriend. Could’ve happened to the toaster.
Or that time, less than 24 hours ago, where he blamed his ex and his children for his ADDICTION.
Question is, why does Jennifer Garner put up with this? Ben is always going to be exactly what he’s been — a flaming asshole. She doesn’t have to polish his image as Father of the Year, or be a Bennifer hypotenuse. Jenn, you really think being friendly with a co-parent who BLAMES you and the kids for his addiction is good for those children?
Well, the important thing here is that Ben Is Happy. Because that’s what happy people do, declare themselves The Real Victim Here. He’s just a beam of DARVO sunshine.
Good luck with that, Jennifer Lopez.
Jennifer is just looking out for her kids. She can’t admit publicly how messed up their father is. But yes, he is a complete asshole incapable of seeing anything but himself. Hopeless person
I can see both sides here. My boys are 18, 16, 14, 12, and 5 and I keep trying to shield them too. Kids are observant though and see through it. They know who their father is. Who knows what Garner is like in private. The issue becomes modeling strength for the children. There’s the debate of which shows strength more: staying and fighting for the relationship or leaving and fighting for yourself?
I can see both sides here??? Who knows what Garner is like in private???? YIKES.
Both sides in this case means:
Side #1: Publicly calling Ben out on his bullshit.
Side #2: Not publicly calling Ben out on his bullshit.
By “who knows what Garner is like in private?,” betterthanawhore meant that Garner might be privately pointing out the bullshit. She could choose not to do it publicly so she and her kids do not have to deal with the tidal wave of additional bullshit that would come with that.
Interpretation is individualistic
Yup. It came across wrong I guess. I meant that Garner has to work with the public scrutinizing everything. She can’t do anything without somebody seeing or analyzing and then it’s all out there for her children to see. Ben is giving the media loads of assholery that his kids will be able to look up for the rest of their lives. She probably wants to haul off on him, but is showing restraint publicly. It takes a lot of strength to not do what Ben is doing. I’m just hoping people don’t see her public silence as a weakness.
I’m only referring to her not talking about the bullshit publicly, not how she seems to keep doing family outings and speckling things.
Fwiw, it was pretty clear to me that’s what you were talking aboutg
. 🙂
Me, too
If by seeing both sides you mean calling Affleck out in public is liable to create more friction for the kids, I’m with you.
But if by seeing both sides you are implying that the stable, sober, non-cheating parent is somehow to blame, I think you’ve been skimming this website when you need to be studying it.
Even if Garner were terrible in private, it would not excuse Affleck’s behavior.
Didn’t mean that at all. My FW told me during a drunk tirade that me and my boys are the reason he drinks. His dad was an alcoholic sooooooo. Nothing justifies the cheating. We are not the reason he’s addicted to alcohol, porn, and prostitutes. Cowardice, selfishness, lack of self control, and no character cause cheating. It’s just tricky when everything becomes public, especially for the children.
Didn’t mean to blow everything up. Haven’t slept well in a few months. Should know better than try to post a coherent thought.
You did fine and most knew what you meant
Better, I immediately knew what you meant, and it didn’t occur to me that there was a different interpretation of your words until I read the follow-up confusion.
No worries. You did nothing wrong. There’s a good argument to be made there for not responding to his attacks in kind. However, she went further than that by publically defending him after he disrespected her. That seems unreasonably chumpy to me.
Don’t apologize! You said nothing wrong and most of us knew what you meant.
Hats off to Jennifer Garner. When I think of all that she has had to put up with and now to have to endure all this Bennifer true love stuff and be blamed for his drinking….on top of everything! Oh I’m sure she was sooooo happy living with him!
Let’s just say for the sake of discussion that Jennifer Garner was “difficult” to be married too. The grown up, loving father response might be:
1. Drinking
2. Screwing the nanny
3. Rewriting history
4. Expressing your feelings, get professional therapy, make considerate changes
Which choice(s) model strength for the kids?
Who cares what Garner is like in private!!! You don’t like it? Then get divorce– not cheat and then blame her.
You can’t fight for a relationship all by yourself. Both people have to participate. Once they cheat, they have shown you that they don’t want a real relationship, they just want a front to hide their depravity behind. If you want to model strength, you don’t agree to be somebody’s beard.
They might be debating this at the more reconciliation friendly places. I’m unaware of what stupid arguments they are making lately in support of that point of view. I used to go to those places just to laugh at their nonsense, but no more. It gets tiresome quite quickly.
Going on Howard Stern and talking about the mother of his children is pretty much the end of discussion regarding his character.
Agreed.
So tacky. I think Jennifer G is doing a good job of focusing on the right things, NOT on big baby x husband.
Agreed!
Yup. I believe the idiot’s main goal was to impress JLo by his “trapped” and being “unhappy” statements. He’s in the love bombing stage with JLo as he was when she was married to another guy 20 years ago. His plan wasn’t well thought out as it just made him look like jackass of the year.
“I was trapped before but with you, baby, I’m finally free”
Ah, tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme.
Bit like the ex and exgfOW. He was ‘claustrophobic’ and the marriage was ‘joyless’. This was why he drank (neglecting to recall that he drank like a fish long before he met me, as exgfOW well knows because he drank like a fish when he was with her first and second times round too – he’s an alcoholic). He forgot to tell me until he was assassinating my character as he left. If JLo had an atom of brain she would dump him now having heard what he said about Jennifer Garner. How stupid do you have to be to kindle, let alone rekindle, a relationship with a man like that. She wasn’t special first time round; she won’t be special this time round either. Jennifer is well out of the Ben and JLo toxic, dysfunctional show. I saw a comment BTL on the Mailonline suggesting that ‘it’s romantic, recapturing the love of their lives’. It isn’t. It’s shallow, lazy, desperate and immature.
“it’s romantic, recapturing the love of their lives’.”
Lol!
He was so unhappy with Garner he had three kids with her.
In an article prior to JLo Ben said that Garner was the best thing that ever happened to him.
His blaming Garner for his drinking, “he’d still be drinking if he was still married to her” is disrespectful to Garner and his children.
JLo isn’t used to sharing Ben. Having to share Ben with Garner and the kids during the holidays is likely an issue with JLo.
His comments may have been made in an attempt at damage control.
JLo lives on the east coast and Garner and the kids live on the west coast. Ben can’t be both places Christmas Day.
Ben owes Garner and his children an apology.
“JLo isn’t used to sharing Ben. Having to share Ben with Garner and the kids during the holidays is likely an issue with JLo.
His comments may have been made in an attempt at damage control.”
Good point. Also, yes he did say Jennifer Garner was the best thing that ever happened to him. He’s as full of shit as a Christmas Turkey.
I agree with you that she did not make him drink, he was an alcoholic young and a cheater. Not a big shock to anyone here at chump nation, that cheaters come from all walks of life, in all flavors. The hard part is seeing the good in someone and learning the truth that you could not see clearly before. The fact that Ben went on stern to lie and degrade the mom of his kids is really disgusting. He cheated on her during their whole marriage- that’s a fact. He was an alcoholic before her. She was a chump who fell in love with him and thought she could save him. I’ve been her, so hearing how he blamed her publicly was super low. Even his publicist is getting overtime right now.
I hope Jennifer does stand up for herself- and let people know it’s not on her. We know it here because we are her- but I wouldn’t want my kids to think that was okay- to get blamed for something she did not do publicly,
Personally when I was younger, I hung out with Ben. We were all up-and-coming in Hollywood, and he was a tall, cute, quiet guy. We crossed paths very regularly. Every time we hung out, or ran into each other, whether it was Vegas, a creative artists agency party, playboy Manison, Oscar parties, the garden of Eden bar, or even at his house, he was always drinking, if not drunk. He was a party boy. He was also an excessive gambler. In fact I was in vegas one time, ran into him, he was drunk, and watched him go through a couple hundred thousand dollars. (This is all pre-Jennifers.) I knew him before Goodwill hunting and I knew him after he blew up- got his Oscar.
He has been the same guy all along. I hope other women that he dated (Gwyneth Paltrow for example), out him as well, as he cheated on her as well.
I think a lot about getting to ‘out’ my cheater, but I always end up doing nothing. He was also in Hollywood, spun the story that it was all my fault, behind my back, the whole time I was committed, working hard, and trying to help him with his alcoholism, addictions, cheating, and sadly suffered many D-days, before he left me while I was sick, and he was OK if I with withered away.
It was of course all my fault as he told everyone, to boot. I remember being in such a dark place, that he convinced me to get him a call girl while I couldn’t have sex, during chemo and radiation, because he had needs, and I wasn’t meeting them. I did it, I watched him have sex with a call girl, while I was having the hardest time of my life. That day haunts me, and I feel so pathetic for valuing myself so little that I thought it was OK to actually pay someone to please him, because I was blaming myself for being sick, because he convinced me he was suffering more than me. I was really fixated on how unhappy he was, as he told me, I was no fun anymore, I was always talking about my health, and I wasn’t focused on him, so he needed to go out and party alone, to get away from me, how did I not see that he was a psychopath.
I also remember him changing history and saying after I got sick, that he wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with me unless I was OK with threesomes, and being more supportive of his desire to sleep with women, and I should go to the bars and help him too, we should do it ‘together’, Of course the way I remember it is, he had to stop all his social media, change his phone number, and do all sorts of things when we got committed because I was adamant that he be monogamous.
Obviously that’s a horrible way to get to relationship with someone and even more cause for me to realize how broken I am to think that that was what I had to do to be in a committed relationship with him.
I can’t get over how mad I am at myself at how pathetic I am. I spent a tremendous amount of time being disgusted with myself. I left Hollywood six years ago, started over, but I keep looking back. I’m stuck at a time loop, and I trust no one. I have gone as far as letting myself go, gaining weight, anything to not be hit on talk to or looked at. It’s like I’ve created a safety, but I hope keeps me from being a chump again, because I don’t trust myself.
The best way I know how not to be a chump again is to never date, never put myself out there, and not believe anyone until they prove it’s who they are.
Jennifer knew who he was before she married him, she just couldn’t see. See she couldn’t make him better, or whole, or stop his demons. She was never going to be enough but I know she tried and tried.
More like recapturing the publicity of their lives.
Who would have thought he could top his ‘ marriage is soooooo much work ????speech’
he gave on live television!
Ya Jen G is the difficult one to be married to. Probably because she wasn’t glowing happy about his narcissistic. Jen Lopez has said she has a history of emotionally abusive relationships so sad to see her linked back up with this guy. He’s not a good person and has no integrity.
How typical. A alcoholic blaming everyone else but himself for his issues. I’m not surprised.
exactly, confused123. exactly.
????
But SHE was the one hard to be married to /facepalm
Hard to top an alcoholic, quite frankly…the delusions of these asshats!
She doesn’t have to say it, he just showed how messed up he is all by himself.
Blaming your family for your addiction is cliche, but also very hurtful.
Maybe there was non-disclosure agreement in the divorce settlement so Jennifer could get a great outcome? That she can’t voice the affair. Hollyweird seems to work like that and can see Ben wanting to put a lid on his stink
Oh yes!!!!!!!!!! I thought to myself often lately
JLo you have de-evolved…… what the actual Fuck is she doing back with him after 20 years…. Trust us JLo he still sucks
She’s not exactly a paragon of the virtues of commitment herself. She married Marc Anthony a week after his divorce from Dayanara Torres was finalized. I’m sure it was all on the up and up. ???? and CL is right, Ben Affleck is constantly shocked by the consequences of his own choices. Two pieces of work that deserve each other, I hope it lasts.
Plus she hooked up with Ben while she was married to one of her husbands. She dumped her husband so fast he didn’t know what hit him.
JLo always picks shitty men though. Nothing changed.
JLo is cut from the same cloth of the men she picks. It’s pretty office was Marc Anthony’s trew wuv whore.
Their engagement 20 years ago was called off because of his whoring and drinking and gambling. Guy’s always had addiction issues and is such an unself
-aware asshat, he now blames his ex-wife for his alcoholism. Yet both Jennifers are on record as having been madly in love with him. Sad.
I’m reminded of Brad Pitt telling Parade magazine that his marriage to Jennifer Aniston was a boring drag that caused him to stay home stoned all the time. Yet oddly, after Angelina provided all the adventure in the world, he was still an abusive drunk who she wisely kicked to the curb. Go figure.
Angelina may not be a drunk but she’s definitely abusive. She enthusiastically participated in the abuse of Jennifer Aniston by fucking Aniston’s husband.
Also, her kids are definitely props in her life. She’s been an amoral degenerate her whole life.
When these Hollywood-born celebs are surrounded by sycophants from childhood, it seems like it breaks their souls. I’m sure some turn out fine but many don’t survive the meat grinder intact.
According to addiction medicine specialist, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Angelina is a heroin addict. And he raked both Brad and Angie over the coals for dragging their brood around from home to home. Kids crave stability.
Just look at her.
Not sure where all this Angelina hate is coming from. Brad Pitt devotees?
My point was that Pitt blamed Aniston for his substance abuse, like Affleck blamed Garner, but that he continued to abuse substances (and people) in his next relationship. Waiting for attacks on Aniston now: who knows what she was like?
How would self-promoter Pinsky know anything about any of them?
FFS, she was the OW who helped Pitt abuse Aniston. Of course we hate her. Pitt too. Why are you defending an OW?
Jolie is a notorious husband/boyfriend poacher. It’s irrelevant to my point about men blaming their problems on women.
“Of course we hate her.” Do you also hate Joanne Woodward, Paul Newman, Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Sophia Loren, Ethan Hawke, Paul Simon, John Lennon, Yoko Ono, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Walter Conkrite, Dwight Eisenhower, JFK, RFK, Teddie Kennedy, Jacqueline Onassis, Phillip Roth, John Updike, Alice Munro and thousands of others who have cheated? That’s a lot of hate.
Not a Brad devotee at all. I don’t care much for Hollywood in general, they are the infidelity zeitgeist after all. Without their collective amoral influence infidelity wouldn’t be so openly accepted.
But, out of all these Hollywood weirdos, Angelina ranks close to the top among the women. I find it bizarre that someone would root for her because “she kicked Brad out.” She is awful and not a role model for anything good.
Angelina was his OW when he was married to someone else. Remember? Why would we like her here?
Oh, you give celebrities a pass for cheating. Now I get it. I’ll never understand you celebrity worshippers. I don’t care how famous someone is, it doesn’t make it cool for them to abuse people.
Yeah, that’s been known about in Hwood a very long time. Hairdressers and make-up artists saw track marks.
I predict one of those kids is going to write a tell-all book someday.
I worked in media. I have stories, bleah. Mere cheaters in showbiz feel like heros because they regularly work with people who eat babies for brunch. Everyone in the industry has seen a glimpse of something horrible, sort of like that pile of childen’s shoes in Pan’s Labyrinth. The only ones who survive are the ones able to stomach it because they carry at least a touch of the same disease. It’s a morally relative sewer.
Oh wow. It would be interesting to get the full picture. Not for the schadenfreude, but to understand the dynamics in that world and why we are so driven to it. And ultimately to stop idealizing it.
Yes, quite sure Ben felt “trapped” when he was engaged to J Lo 20 years ago and then he gave her the discard. Another year (maybe) he’ll feel trapped yet again. I remember when Jennifer Garner drove his drugged out ass to rehab after they were divorced. By the way it wasn’t only alcohol.
So he and J Lo are in the love bombing stage at the moment…will be interesting how they spin it when she is discarded.
I reckon first he’s going to suck her dry, make her pay all the divorce proceedings while he gambles his lot away.
Just a feeling.
My jaw honestly dropped when I read what he said: “Being married to her sucked. Having a wife and kids made me feel trapped.”
That was, honestly, triggering to read. And I wasn’t even thinking about the cheating angle… just the “hey, wife and kids, you have trapped me and made me unhappy” angle. That’s pretty much the position my FW took.
FW: Fourleaf, I did what I did because this life doesn’t please me. I am trapped. You have trapped me. I deserve to be happy for once in my life.
FL: Then why did you tell me you were happy? Why did you marry me? Why did you keep having sex and making children with me if–
FW: Shhh shhh shhh… this isn’t about me! This is about you and how you’ve trapped me and made me unhappy! I was just a hapless bystander swept away by your dastardly machinations.
Take the drinking part out and what Affleck says about his ex-wife sure sounds familiar: “It’s not my fault; I was driven to do it.”
Good lord. “I’d still be drinking if I was married to her” is just such a callous, gross thing to say. I don’t know either of those people but I instantly felt bad for her.
I feel bad for her too. And dismayed that she keeps spackling and polishing his image by doing the Consciously Uncouple Friends thing.
He is NOT her friend.
Oddly I feel that when my FW see this story he will say that’s exactly how I felt. He used “trapped” many times. He didn’t want to only have 1 woman. But the 6 kids we had cause him to be responsible. He never takes responsibility for anything unless it makes him look great. Bring on fake father of the year. Bens kids will on day ask him about what he said. He will spin it again to cover that he said they trapped him. Just disgusted !
Yeah, my ex said “I was an obligation”. Worst thing to say to the woman you loved for 20 yrs and had 3 kids with and she just found out you are a cheater! So glad to be rid of the Scumbag!!
Yep once said, it can’t be retracted. My fw tried to tell me later he just said it to make me hate him. Doesn’t matter, it was said; so that is what I believe.
And truth is he never really loved anyone but himself, his whole life proved that. When we were married, and even more so when he married whore.
I’m sorry your ex told you that you were an obligation. My new-non-cheater ex said something similar. He said he didn’t want to feel “emotional obligation” when he was saying he was going to stay with his mom a few days for a change of environment because he was depressed. He came back four days later and left me because he “didn’t feel depressed when he wasn’t with (me).” I think being with me must have made him feel trapped too because he talked about his instinct to flee.
Affleck is a brilliant actor and director,but once again he showed us who he really is. I feel horrible for Jen, and just think about how the kids are gonna read about their dad eventually ???? Does he really expect us to believe he no longer drinks? What about his gambling addiction ????. Affleck is a narcissistic person who refuses to take accountability for his actions. Poor Jennifer. Great post.
In fairness to her, there’s a lot of pressure in some circles to do that. I can’t imagine dealing with it on such a public level like she is.
But I had to deal with that. On the rare occasion I do see my own sister now I have to snipe at her “He said I’m incestuous!” to shut her the fuck up when she starts playing devils advocate for him. And my ex threatened my life, is a pedophile (can’t prove he’s broken any laws but I can prove he really, really wants to) and has smeared me terribly and mocked me nearly to the point of suicide, and insulted our son and had almost no relationship with him now. But I still heard how it wasn’t a big deal and I should be friends with him until I cut everyone out of my life except for three people.
I know some chumps have support and that’s great but I had so little. That’s why I had multiple d days. I think Jennifer is probably surrounded by bad people who want her to keep eating shit, for whatever reason, and that’s why it’s so hard. I hope this finally wakes her up.
I’ll never forget it when Garner said “I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.”
I wonder if the kids know he said they made him feel trapped. Hopefully Jennifer Garner is a sane parent.
His oldest is I think 16 so very hard to shield from his public comments at this point.
I thought this when our UK ex chancellor (who left his many years married to him wife for a much younger pregnant stylist or some such) said he had never been happier in his life. I thought how do you think your teenage and younger kids feel about that, George? These people just keep on revealing who they are and however they dress it up they still stink!
And I won’t start on Boris Johnson because he’s beyond all rational speakage!
That reminds me, even in my time (before CL) I remember wanting to say to him that he stepped in shit knee deep and he is never going to get rid of that stink. I didn’t say it, I was trying to take the high road. But, I wish I had.
It was fitting.
Ex with his first AP proclaimed he’d never been happier in his life and getting rid of me was the best decision he’d ever made.
I’m sure he said the same thing with the second AP, until he isn’t happy and blames her for his unhappiness. The cycle will continue.
They’re never genuinely happy.
They’re like a child with a new toy, they have to have it, they get it and play with it for a day, get bored, toss it aside, back to wanting a new toy.
That was a great interview, also when she said “Bless his Heart” regarding his back tattoo.
The southern woman way of saying “You’re stupid”. ????
The whole ridiculous phoenix rising from the ashes tattoo on his back ????
Yep, typical ‘I’m the victim here’ narrative. What a loser.
My Ex was trapped too. He said that I had forced him to marry me, he didn’t believe in marriage and never has, and that I had ruined his life. This from the (much older) man who pestered me for several months until I said yes, wouldn’t let me get out of it later, and said that the birth of our child, 6 years after we got married, was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I don’t know who wrote the Cheater Manual, but whoever it is must be rolling in money, every single one of them has it.
This sounds so familiar. My ex, who pursued me relentlessly for a several years, said I tricked him into marrying me. He said he felt trapped by the responsibility of being a husband and father. He even turned coat and blamed me for having a baby when we weren’t financially ready, even though we talked about it, planned it, and he was all for it. It’s not like I got pregnant all on my own. He hated that he wasn’t the center of my attention anymore.
So he left me for another woman and ended up with three kids instead of just one. He said he couldn’t do anything he wanted because we had a mortgage. So he dumped responsibility for the house on me (I sold it) and ended up paying almost double our monthly mortgage payment on his rental. After OW left him for being violent/abusive, he was left with making the entirety of the payment himself.
What they say makes no sense with their actions. It’s just BS excuses. Rewriting history so they don’t look like total pieces of shit.
Me too. FW pursued me and he didn’t even ask me to marry him; he swung me around in his arms under the night sky and enthusiastically told me “You are the woman I am going to marry.” I found it all very romantic at the time; hindsight informs me that he didn’t even ask me to marry him, he told me that he was going to marry him. I didn’t even get a proposal.
When he started telling me how trapped he felt, I brought all that up, of course: “But *you* pursued me. *You* told me that you were going to marry me.”
He shrugged, repeated that he felt trapped, got married too young, and that I was “what he thought he wanted at the time.”
what is it about asking you to marry without asking you? crikey. pretty much sets up the power mismatch immediately but in a sneaky way.
if i could turn back time.
I also was told and mistakenly took it as asking and committed. I was so so very young and even though he wasn’t much older, he was disordered but I knew nothing of those traits. At times the entire facade can still make me angry. It like arrested development. He is the exact same as he was them. I peg him as a perpetual 8-14 yo. Sometimes 4
He was not 14. It does seem he’s stuck between 4 and 14.
He told me we were going to get married at his parents dining table as he presented me a cz his mom helped choose cause ya know informal can’t have the real thing. I cringe to remember that. He recognized I was useful and he could break my values and boundaries quickly.
This! I have found that whatever comes out of FW’s mouth or in emails or texts—means absolutely nothing. Not only is he a lying liar, he also has been known to do a complete 180 in thoughts and opinions—and will not remember voicing the opposite previously. They say whatever is expeditious for the moment. They are hollow empty people so they don’t actually HAVE any strong beliefs or a moral code thus the lack of consistency. They are blown by the wind and self-interest—but can only see the short term.
My mother used to say of my narc father, “Believe nothing that he says and only 50% of what he can prove to be true.” And wouldn’t you know, I married a man just like him.
I deserved it though, I was very young and a nihilist at the time. And I got out much earlier and easier than she did. Still, she was hella brilliant.
My X told me that “marriage was hard” just minutes after I gave him my virginity on our honeymoon. Twenty seven years later he told his affair partner in an instant message that he didn’t want to marry me but did because he felt he had to since he proposed. He told our adult children we were divorcing because “we grew apart” He had lied, cheated, was addicted to porn, and sexually abused my two daughters when they were just babies. (I learned this at the end of our marriage). He is with a woman now (started the relationship while we were still married) that thinks she hit the jackpot. Maybe he is a different man but I doubt it. I think if he was, he would have at least apologized for wasting 35 years my life with him and come clean to his kids. Addicts can’t blame themselves because if they did, they would have to accept the responsibility for their messed up lives.
Hahahah. My exFW said: There isn’t a manual for all of this…
Me: Most people don’t need a manual to be decent humans. ????
Fourleaf: That hits the nail on the head: “Then why did you marry me…., keep having sex with me and having kids with me…..”
He should have decided he was trapped much sooner. So he was pretending to be happy, etc. with Jennifer and his kids. I do not see any honesty there.
They are really all the same entitled assholes aren’t they? Mine said he married too young and had the kids for me! Fast forward 2 years and FW is in another long term relationship (that started waaay before that) and insists on having shared custody of *my* children! Why? They should all be single and childless if that’s what they really want, why inflict their overinflated ego on another human being?
My sparkly turd XW used almost the same language. “Trapped, blah blah, never loved you, blah blah, YOU made me do this, blah blah, drinking is your fault, blah blah, ..
No suggestion that a different path could have happened if they had made healthy grown up choices.
Sheesh!
Oh FFS thank you Tracy. Holy cow I was ranting in my head about that interview. I remember an interview Garner did when (paraphrasing) she talked about how Affleck was like the sun and when he looked at you, you felt amazing and when he turned away it felt like a cold shadow fell and you were lost. And that was such a great description of narcissistic abuse.
Garner has clearly gained a life (see her Instagram) and has to deal with that FW being followed by cameras constantly and still share her kids with him. She does a remarkable job not looking disgusted but she certainly looks strained while she grey rocks.
She went trick or treating with him. How is that gray rock? I’m missing something here.
She’s not grey rock, she’s eating the shit sandwich for what she probably believes is peace of mind. If I forgive this bitch then I can let go type of thing. There’s a lot of pressure on women not to be perceived as bitter over this, see Alice Evans (who might just have other problems, but still).
Yep. The pressure for women to be “nice” is intense, especially if you are in the public eye. I guarantee friends and family are putting the onus on her to keep things civil, while that asshole get to do whatever he wants.
Well, could it have been a relationship metaphor (trick or treat)? or at night (gray)? the rock being where the heart was? [Rhetorical questions only #cantmatchyoursnark]!
I can’t find any real evidence they were trick or treating together. They were in the same neighborhood it seems and ran into each other?
There was a recent series of photos of Affleck being all upset and flailing his arms around while talking to Garner and she has that grey rock look on her face and is not reacting.
Almost Tuesday, I agree with your take. From what I recall reading on TMZ, etc., they were in the same neighborhood and ran into each other. I think he was out trick or treating with JLo’s kids and they ran into Garner.
Yes and the paparazzi headlines made it out that they were all together Trick or Treating more than likely for click bait.
Agree – I think JG has her act together (also follow her on IG and she’s nailing the gain a life bit). This trick or treat, friendly with the FW story just doesn’t jive with the interviews with her I’ve read. Pure Southern-lady, read-between-the lines FU – it can be subtle, but it’s definitely there.
I think she knows exactly what she’s dealing with and balances her public image with self-respect pretty well. I suppose she could speak out more on behalf of other chumps, but I won’t judge her for choosing not to. Her image is her source of income. Not ranting publicly about the tattooed-turd-in-a-towel makes it clear she is the classier act.
He reminds me so much of my STBX (addiction, blaming everyone, really bad tattoos, “I sadz”, I’ll-fuck-the-babysitter-what-could-go-wrong?). I used to google “sad Ben Affleck” when I was being particularly hard on myself – knowing he cheated on someone like JG really drove home the fact that these people are deeply disordered. My own marriage train wreck wasn’t about me so much (and I really needed to understand that).
Plus he’s so good at looking like an idiot without any help from JG. Howard Stern?! Seriously?
You’re right. It’s not gray rock. Garner is still very much a Chump and needs CL/CN therapy. It might be pressure to appear a certain way for the ignorant public or it might be for her career, but she’s still playing the game as long as she has anything to do with the dick. For her kids’ sake, I hope she’s not exampling codependency else they’re likely to perpetuate the same abuse in their own lives. I’m glad I’m a nobody.
It’s tricky. I hosted a Halloween party ; it’s the kids favourite holiday ( according to my daughter ).
I usually don’t have anything to do with the ex but invited her to go trick or treating with them, whilst I remained at my house . She walked through the neighbourhood with them and later dropped them off at my house . If a paparazzi would have taken a photo when she brought the kids back, it could have looked as if we were best friends .
Which we are not ????
I sense a Friday challenge. How were you Ben Afflecked?
Mine used the word ‘ suffocated’ in lieu of trapped.
I’m surprised he didn’t take this opportunity to also blame Jennifer Garner for fucking the nanny! Maybe he felt “controlled” because she was concerned about his alcoholism!
I recall that interview about Affleck being like the sun and when the sun isn’t looking at you it feels dark and lonely (I’m grossly paraphrasing).
That’s… pretty spot on. That’s what being married to someone you worship feels like.
Reminds me of the movie The Talented Mr. Ripley —which stars Matt Damon who is a compadre of Affleck of course.
The description of tit feeling like sun when he looked at you, that feels so familiar. The coldness when they turn, that is bone chilling. That is a clear description of a narcissist and so validating too.
Ben is such a jerk. His interview on Howard Stern is proof narcs don’t get better with age, just worse. He and J-Lo are just a train wreck. I can understand Jennifer G’s concern for the kids but at some point it is their relationship to manage.
It not tit????
Here’s a thought: I haven’t been happy and I DONT drink because of it! He’s a sad sick excuse of an addict… and the nanny? No thanks I’m busy Halloween. (We’re) don’t get me started on this JLo. Is she attempting to break a record of just how many men she can fit into one life?
People exhaust me
Addicts tend to place the blame on everyone and everything else except themselves. I would think Jennifer Garner is rather steamed right now…however when Ben & JLo crash and burn, and Ben is a run of the mill “has been”, she’ll have her karma.
Lol
About being sober, he said: ” … it was my relationship with my kids, and when I felt as if [alcoholism] impacted them, I recognized it. Since that day, I swear to Christ, I have not wanted to drink once.”
Well, he was stumbling in the street in 2019 when his eldest was 13, so I guess that was before he “recognized” it?
That makes me sad for Jennifer. He didn’t notice it hurt his marriage too?
It’s triggering when I witness a man feeling sorry for others or having sympathy toward a random strangers’ situation yet disregard what’s happening in front of him (ie ruining his marriage by cheating and not attempting to take the proper steps)
That’s how a narcissist behaves . The problem is always someone else’s ????????????
He may be rich, talented and good looking, but he’s still an ocean going douche canoe. I would respect him a little more if he went as far as owning his own sh*t, making amends to his ex-wife and modelling sane behaviour to his kids.
LFTT
I so clearly remember reading this quote in my early days of being chumped (again) by Dr. Cheaterpants. This time he was running off into the sunset with DD14’s 20-something asst sports coach in our kid’s Catholic high school. It was an ah ha moment of describing what it’s like to be married to a narcissist.
“I didn’t marry the big fat movie star; I married him. And I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can’t have these three babies and so much of what we had. He’s the love of my life. He’s the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”
– Garner in the March 2016 issue of Vanity Fair on the dissolution of her marriage to Affleck
If she’s sincere and not just PR talking it’s a very sad place to be in; to consider him the love of her life, after all he’s done.
That quote: ????????????
I bet she regrets saying that now! He clearly meant more to her than she did to him… So many of us can relate. And she was quoting another piece of literature by the way – not that it really matters.
Yep, I remember heaping praise on my fw. Of course before I knew he was a fw.
Even after he treated me like shit, it took a long time to say anything negative to anyone, I guess for the same reason as JG, my son.
I didn’t want my son to know what a raging asshole his dad was, but then when I was long gone, he and whore were both raging assholes to my son and his family; so he outed himself.
Ben Affleck may be rich, and talented at riding Matt Damon’s coattail…but, IMO, that’s about it.
I can recall feeling much the same in the aftermath of dday and divorce. It may be her way of explaining to herself how she got swept up in the insane charisma of a sociopath. I’m sure she’s revised her view of him since – but hindsight is 20/20 and most us don’t do our healing journey in the public eye, making statements to a national magazine. There are publicists advising and strategies at play too.
I think if I’d had children with my FW and was in the public eye, I’d be similarly stoic and tight-lipped. Not sure I’d trick or treat with them however, but maybe her kids wanted to go with both or maybe she feared he’d show up drunk or she couldn’t bear the thought of her children and them being photographed together like one big happy family without her.
She’s definitely on the martyred road here and always has been with him – it’s as if she’s taken him on as another of her children.
But man, he’s a fucking loser – describing himself as a good father – yeah, a good father who passes out with a scotch in hand every day, who cheats, who insults his kids’ mother in the press, who claims to be trapped by a relationship he asked for???
This story serves as a useful PSA: THEY DON’T CHANGE.
For me, this reminder helps when I imagine that x and wifetress have a fairy tale life.
Nah. He hasn’t changed. If anything, as DARVO king, he’s probably even more miserable to be around. I mean, his default has always been “sad sack.” Can’t even imagine what he’s like now.
^^ Yes, exactly. The folks with elevator shafts where their souls should be will *never* be happy, even if they have fame, wealth, and a loving, supportive family.
And they’ll always externalize their unhappiness. Since their spouses (and kids) are around most of the time, they’ll get most of the blame.
Could not agree more Spinach- it has been my experience not just with my ex but with my FOO that not only do these types never change, their behavior gets uglier and meaner as they age.
Also, there is a special place in hell for those who blame their family for their addiction and cheating. I hope Garner has those kids in therapy and is emphatic with them regarding the entire families’ complete innocence when it comes to his depraved behavior – he is a douche because he can be and he clearly enjoys it – they need to hear those words over and over and over. Internalizing the often repeated message that me and my siblings were the cause of addiction problems and marital problems between my parents set me up for 20 years of abuse and chumpdom – God, I feel so sorry for those kids.
I remember reading something that Jennifer said about when she was the focus and light of Ben’s attention and how amazing that was – sounds like love bombing to me. Just listened to Ben on GMA – good grief what a first class asshole.
I remember this as well. Pretty sad.
But in the end Jennifer and the kids be much better off than him . They will heal and become stronger for it and he will be on a path of no return
Well, Ben Affleck has always been a dick, this isn’t new info lol. If they were a bad match and unhappy that’s fine, but shifting the blame to her or their marriage as to why he’s a bloody mess of the time is ngl. He’s not owning up to anything. If he were saying, yes I was unhappy and I dealt with it terribly and hurt many in the process and I am sorry for that he would look a lot better. But he’s an entitled asshole, so he would never say that. Nick Dunne was such a fitting role for him.
Sorry typed in a hurry. It was meant to be “shifting the blame to her or their marriage as to why he’s a bloody mess all the time is nagl”
Yes! Whenever I think about that movie, I’m like, Ben Affleck was PERFECTLY cast in that role. Lol.
Affleck, Baldwin, Sheen, Lopez, West… to name just a few, are all the same. Troubled souls with addictions and behaviors that publicize their internal strife. Truth be known, they likely suffer from complex clinical mental health issues that remain unregulated or treated.
Publicity and the limelight are all that keeps them from fading away into the abyss. Rather than fade naturally, there’s still financial earning potential IF they can just stay relevant and maintain their fan base. How they accomplish remaining relevant is through their negative actions, behaviors and dysfunction. They don’t possess the mettle to carve out noble or outstanding lives.
Must be a very shallow and superficial life to be so hollow inside. Pity the poor impoverished souls.
Thank you, CL, for highlighting the absurd remarks made by Affleck.
His narcissistic (surprise) comments are receiving a lot of attention. We’ll be seeing push back from the addiction treatment community. Hopefully the “Down with Assholes” folks will speak up. Disappointed that Howard Stern didn’t call him out.
I predict a relapse for Affleck and a J-Lo breakup. He is risking his relationship with his children. Maybe their mother will finally set some boundaries.
I’m extremely disappointed with Stern as well. In fact, not only did he neglect/refuse to call Affleck out, but he additionally devoted a portion of his show today to defending and justifying Affleck’s comments. (He even tried to rephrase those egregious statements to make it appear that Affleck hadn’t been saying he felt trapped by Jen, etc. and provided subjective stats that 4 out of every 5 divorced people also cite being “trapped” as the reason for ending their marriages. Makes me want to cancel my SiriusXM subscription. Not sure why I’m surprised though as Stern left the mother of his three children when he become famous (infamous?) and is now married to a decades younger woman.
How much expensive rehab has he been through, and how much recovery does he really have if he blames his Ex for his drinking? Step Four: “Made a searching a fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” By the way, subsequent steps involve admitting to God, another person, and yourself the exact nature of your wrongs, and continuing to take the aforementioned moral inventory, and when you’re wrong promptly admitting it. Just saying.
I feel sorry for the children. Talk about mindfuck. My X-FW is not a celebrity except in his own mind, and his adult kids (my former step kids) are a mess because of their disordered parents. And yes, they ALL blamed me for all their problems. So glad to be free!
This is my story too Wooshy, 2 step kids and a fuckwit and I am to blame for their shitty lives. My therapist encouraged me to cut the cord with them and it was much more liberating than I can imagine.
We have a DD10 together and thank goodness she is on the right track.
@WooshyM: Cheater#1 is an active AA member, but like yours, picks and chooses which steps to work. I drove him to cheat and drink, too. Before I was no contact, I told him I thought it was amazing that his sponsor let him just forget about whichever the twelve steps he wanted. He looked at me uncomprehendingly. Too much for him to process, I guess. Which is why he is up to five DUIs, a stint in the county lock up and back to drinking, according to our son.
Truth: They never change, and someone else becomes the blamee for their problems once we escape the cycle.
Jennifer needs the new Trust that They Suck tote bag from Chumplady. I may just tape a pic of Ben Affleck on mine for her. I live in a celeb area, this could be fun!
PS got the bag for supporting Chumplady’s Patreon, you should too!
There’s a trust they suck tote bag? I’m tempted… I mean it’s a worthy cause.
I support Chumplady’s Patreon monthly and I didn’t get a tote bag! Hmpf!
It’s sad to see how Jennifer Garner has internalized her ex’s abuse of her and our society’s misogynistic messages about the crap that women are supposed to put up with to make a marriage “work”, i.e., keep staggering along so men can have what they want. It’s a master class on how powerful the patriarchy is, that this woman of means and talent is so beaten down. I’m grateful to be part of this community’s changing the conversation about infidelity. Hugs to everyone!
Agreed
Ben is totally not father of the year. How many pictures have we seen in the last year of him floating around the sea on JLo’s yacht while he rubs her ass? He doesn’t think his kid’s friends show them pictures of that shit??
Jennifer Garner seems super classy, and we just need her to visit CL. I can’t imagine my life being spread out for the media & paparazzi to take pictures of. Maybe she inwardly seeths at home? But the media is always about “forgiveness”, because of course the media can’t put Ben in a box or make him a pariah
Also, for all chumps who harbor some fear that they were cheated on because of their looks, consider Jennifer Garner.
Oh, and Beyonce.
Cheaters cheat because they can and because they are shallow and unable to properly bond. As CL points out in her book, they cheat because they “feel entitled to cheat. That’s it.” Ben is exhibit A.
As for APs, they are “dim and they’re available.”
This post is another useful reminder of that.
Btw, according to my supportive SIL (married to x’s now-deceased brother), my x-MIL sent a photo taken on Thanksgiving. It included x-MIL, her cheating son (my x), his wifetress, x-SIL (by blood) and her husband.
The good SIL said to me (violating my rule that she not speak of him), “So that’s what the whore looks like?” I responded, “Oh, no, she’s actually quite attractive.” SIL said, “Really? Must be the lighting.” lol.
I think I’d constructed a fantasy, casting this woman as a perfect 10. The mind plays tricks.
p.s. My x-SIL who is the cheater’s sister is herself a chump. She was also my best friend from college. We used to live together, which is how I met her brother. She showed so much support for me in the early days, but I guess she’s since misplaced her backbone, or I guess she’s decided that she needs to go along to get along. Families make that choice, I suppose.
For my own healing, I have cut her from my social registry.
Spinach,
I have a similar history with my stbx’s sister who is also a chump. I was a friend to her when she found out her husband was having an affair. She choose to reconcile. She used to tell me to leave her brother, then when I actually decided to she quit talking to me. It is hurtful but better in the long run. I’ve put up with all the abuse I ever will from that family.
I always said if someone would cheat on Princess Diana, it ain’t about looks. The list of beautiful chumps is long.
Or how about Hugh Grant buying a blow job off the street because Elizabeth Hurley [bagged salad].
The list of beautiful chumps is not long, it’s endless.
Elizabeth Hurley=filet mignon topped with truffles
Divine Brown=generic dog food
Read this today:
“Some people have an infinite capacity to turn their abuse of you into their own hero’s journey.”
A perfect description of the self talk my ex engages in. And I bet I’m not alone.
Exactly!!
Thanks for putting words to what my x does.
I feel for Jenn but really why carry on some type of family illusion? She should be happy he is no longer her husband and stop using the celebrity sparkle. He sucks and will always suck.
Spackle not sparkle.
Poor Jennifer. Society puts so much pressure on chumps NOT to be bitter bunnies. Maybe it’s worse among the celebrity set.
Let’s all be one happy family. If you balk, you’re not evolved and worse, you’re hurting your own children.
Cue Demi Moore.
I believe there is so much truth to that.
So many folks put the same level of pain to a long term marriage that broke up due to betrayal as the same as a high school romance. I assume most of those folks have never been betrayed, or are betrayers themselves who have no ability to bond.
Cue Gwenyth Paltrow and her “conscious uncoupling” crap.
Sorry for the misspelling … Gwyneth…
So last night my bf and I are driving to dinner and he has on Howard Stern. I saw it was an interview with Ben Affleck (they replay it later in the day). I heard about 2 sentences and told my bf “I’m not listening to Ben Affleck. He’s a douche. Can’t stand that guy.” Imagine my surprise (not at all lol) to see it was the topic du jour this morning.
Jennifer Garner is a sweet lady who has a great career and reputation. She appears to be the sane parent. And she’s trying to manage things with grace. I don’t agree that she’s still putting up with Ben enough to go trick or treating with him… but to be fair, I’m sure she doesn’t have this blog. She is still being told “it’s best for the kids.” She still has bad advice from Hollywood types like Gwyneth Paltrow and Drew Barrymore in her ear saying that she needs to be the bigger person and “mature.” I don’t fault Jennifer. She just needs to join Chump nation is all.
She was always enough. Ben is a loser. We all know that. We just need Jennifer to see it too. Hey Jen— if you’re reading this … you don’t need to be kind anymore to that douche. Please don’t hang out with him anymore. Best wishes. You’re awesome and your kids are lucky to have you as their mom.
So, like her response to Ben’s tattoo, we should just think, “Bless her heart” when we hear her adulate him? I just wish she would not make excuses for him. Give the interviewer a cold stare and a brief response whenever Ben is brought up. Is it ever possible for an old story to get boring?
If I were Garner, I would be thinking “Thank God, I divorced him, he’s someone else’s problem now”. But I would never say it to an interviewer.
I agree it sucks to see her keep eating shit sandwiches but I believe she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. How many here tried to reconcile for years? Pick me danced? Listened to crap advice by well-intentioned (?) friends?
It wasn’t until most of us found CL that we learned the only way to survive is to get free of them COMPLETELY.
Jennifer Garner more than likely hasn’t found CL. But she does have a team that manages her image and tells her how she should respond. People, like her agent and publicist, give her image management advice. It may be coming from her lawyer too — especially regarding custody. She may have been instructed to make sure it doesn’t look like she’s alienating Ben from the kids. We don’t know.
But it does appear she hasn’t learned the ways of Sensei Tracy yet. I hope that Jen somehow finds this and reads it. And that whatever advice she’s getting she can ignore and just stop answering altogether.
Celebrities have a microscope on them though — she’s damned if she answers, damned if she doesn’t.
Is it the celebrity microscope? Or is it the misogyny of Hollywood and the US as a whole?
I know JLo’s former MIL (#2)
From what I heard from her, JLo and Ben are a perfect match. She was cheating on Cris Judd with Ben way back when.
Maybe at this point, with everything that is known about these two, they couldn’t find any other takers?
Everything in that interview says to me that he is not in recovery. It’s loud and clear to anyone with time who is working a program.
The DUI’s, jails, institutions, and death are where he is headed.
Velvet, I think you hit the nail on the head. I think JLo and Ben are both narcissistic and are drawn to each other’s toxic sparkle. She breaks up w/A-Rod (not that he’s not also problematic) and weeks later is having her new BF over for dinner with her kids! A sane parent doesn’t parade their new partners to their kids that fast.
I remember as well Garner saying that when Ben looks upon you its like the sun shining and thinking thats a great way to describe it and thinking it sounds like my husband and he must be a narcissist.
I assume that Jennifer knows that he sucks
I know from personal experience that it deeply hurts younger children when they believe that their parents despise one another
I respect her choice if she feels attending some events together has benefit to the kids
My ex was of such a level of bastard that this was not even remotely possible.
I have never liked or enjoyed Ben Affleck and couldn’t understand why, given that he has been a largely successful actor, writer, producer and director (in a business field that is just chock-a-block full of more dysfunctional humans than a new age Nazi rally). Something in my instincts sensed it about him. As the years passed, even when he was married to Garner, something was still off. Now I’m more certain than ever that he is nothing more than an entitled problem child self-proclaimed victim. And a dry drunk. Poor sadz widdle BenBen. Gross. Just gross.
Being a narcissist does not mean you can’t be a great leader, in fact, it might even help. My ex (retired Lieutenant Colonel) was actually admired by many and made many sound decisions for the sake of the mission and the people under his command. I really can respect that. However, being a great leader does not mean you can’t also be a dick. He was a dick and probably still is a dick. He’s just an intelligent, self-entitled dick. There will always be people like him, and there will always be people that admire them (like the sun is shining). It’s difficult for me to this day to step back and disassociate the person from the actions. Sometimes good, caring people don’t rise to stardom because they have a problem with stepping over the underlings. I’m reminded of Captain Kirk and Spock when Spock is dying in the radioactive engine room. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” The fuckwit really believed this. I was just categorized into “the few”. Captain Kirk would have found a way to cheat and win. I no longer hate the fuckwit. I’m just very grateful he’s no longer my problem. But if our world was to ever revert back to feudalism, none of us are that far from being barely civilized. We’d probably all stand behind another dick as long as (s)he proposes “the needs of the many” and we would hope that we’re part of the many and not the few. I’m grateful I was born a woman in America and at this time. I was able to divorce the dick, keep my assets, and go on to a better life. He still has to live in his head believing he’s the best and a gift to mankind. It’s got to be lonely the older he gets because nobody remembers how awesome he was.
I have seen the same thing with klootzak. Thankfully, he is competent at work and has not bankrupted us like others have experienced. He thinks he is Mr. Special but he does solid work. Between both of us working, the world could be our oyster if he wasn’t so disordered. Nobody at work likes him but they can’t complain about his work quality. He is all sunshine for anyone he is trying to shmooze. He tries to look like the picture of perfection and pretends to be nice but the only people who chum around with him are two other narcs. Everyone else tires of his act.
I haven’t seen anything about Matt Damon hanging out with him anymore. MD might be trying to be a family man and distancing himself from that hot mess. Old friends do disappear when they realize they don’t have the same values.
I thought HB don’t care, he a badass! Love the name. Loved the HB video. Are you having cobra for lunch???
She tried to bring him up to her image of him. He was initially drawn to that, but being completely lost and damaged, he could never attain it. It pissed him off, and he blamed her. Anyone who thinks Hollywood males can make good family men are delusional. (I dated a man from a Hollyood family, they’re not normal.) In his own twisted mind, Ben lays the blame on her. He believes it’s her fault that he can’t come up to snuff, so rather than hate himself, he resents and hates her.
Bingo! Well said, WeAreTheChumpions.
In the end, the whole Cheater/Chump narrative is this:
We overestimated them.
They underestimated us.
Relationships of this nature cannot sustain.
Love that!
Thumbs up to this!
I will also say that the “stars” are not always what they seem. As someone mentioned above, Ben stays relevant due to the drama in his life; everyone wanting to find out about his latest screw-up and who he’s involved with now in the revolving door of his relationships. In keeping with this, look at the image Jennifer portrays: the wholesome average-pretty girl next door. This is her shtick. The good, faithful wife who hangs on is an extension of this. Jennifer shows up in cute little articles re being a sweet mom who makes little mistakes, has a fantastic pancake recipe she wants to share in a video clip from her kitchen, etc. These people only have their image to bring in money. Like the rest of us, they need an income. Couple that with outsized egos and the desire to maintain an expensive lifestyle, what you see is not necessarily who they are–in some cases, not at all. Celebrities are fun examples to take a look at and analyize, but keep in mind, much of it is smoke and mirrors. They are actors, and can play-pretend at anything.
Ben’s an addict that blames his addiction on circumstances, other people—he still refuses to accept his addiction is his own responsibility. Jennifer Garner is a saint for putting up with his public assholery. Jennifer Lopez jumps from man to man to man. They deserve each other.
I bet Affleck is NOT sober. Wonder what his excuse for drinking is now?
Ugh!!! I am so tired of hearing marriage as a prison sentence and that is ok!!! I am trapped! Boo hoo. Ungrateful POS!
Hollywood gloats on this bullshit as marriage being a negative…grr grr. My gf is all into Sex/life and claim how it’s empowering for women. WtF? I think I need to rethink my friend. I just read a few things on it and already triggered. NO THANKS. If you look at the show it’s only soft porn that skinimax used to show.
“Empowering for women” is used as a marketing gimmick. I remember how they sold the Wonder Woman crap with it. Fuckwit’s whore was into that kind of “empowerment.” If that doesn’t prove it’s moronic I don’t know what does.
Funny how the “female empowerment” always seems to serve up no-strings sex and scantily clad women for men to enjoy, isn’t it.
Nailed it!! That’s why Im bringing sexual morality back and Im very vocal about it.
Enough with this illusion that depravity is freedom.
When women actually stop catering to men, then they might stop and listen.
I would love to see a worldwide marriage & sex strike from women, until all men shape up.
That was a great interview, also when she said “Bless his Heart” regarding his back tattoo.
Here’s what I see… Ben Affleck thinks going on Howard Stern to declare “it wasn’t my fault… I was trapped… it made me drink” YEARS LATER… tells me everything I need to know. He’s still trying to rewrite the narrative of his fucked up past.
Pass the spackle, Ben… no one cares about you and your inexcusable life decisions. You’re not relevant anymore (if you ever were). Maybe if you took a year or five and dedicated yourself to some real mental health treatments and didn’t just roll from one relationship to another, you wouldn’t feel the need to continue to blameshift your actions and try to gaslight others to believe your narrative.
PATTERNS DO NOT LIE.
I still remember the day, when I was a teenager, that my father yelled at my mother- You’re the reason I drink!!
Sure, it wasn’t you, it had to be her. Then he got married again, and drank for decades.
Blaming someone else for what you do, will never help. Ben needs a lot of therapy!
I quit drinking 14 years Ago because I got caught being way too flirty and suggestive with a co-worker. A real poke in the eyes to my wife, who I suspected was having an affair. I quit drinking cold then, and cut all contact with the phone mistesss.
Bring it forward to now, still no drinking and my wife has 365 day periods. Though, a tampon has not been purchased in years.. 7 months ago I knew an affair was ongoing and I started counseling once a week to fix myself. (Who stays with someone for 14 years and has sex 10 times in that period)
As all cheaters do, she believes me to be dumb and blind. (When you use messenger, the font is different, so I know you are not ‘texting’) The messenger chat was left open and of course I read every word. (7 months worth of daily nightly fuck fests.) I could pick the dude out by his dick for sure. Met with my attorney yesterday and I am finally strong enough to say fuck you and leave. (My kids are grown and are coming home from college so I’m leaving when they leave in. New Year.
This has nothing to do with Ben, but I love this site and wanted to type this out. Peace and Happy Holidays my CHUMP Friends.
way to go, Paul!!! Chump Nation is with you. As Churchill said “when you’re going through hell- keep going”.. so yeah KEEP GOING! A new year awaits you, and so sorry you had to go through that part of hell.
Looking forward to “Losing a Cheater and Gaining a Life”.
thanks for the lift @chumpedchange
It sounds like the divorce is long overdue .
Good on you for realising that drinking lowered your inhibitions and endangered the marriage. It’s an insight which many people lack .
Whilst I was married, I came across a lot of temptation along the way. Of course . Everyone does.
And flirting at work can be fun; it’s also a way to get along with people . I had a similar realisation – no one in specific at the time , but I saw then how quickly a friendly smile could lead to “just a coffee “ after lunch. It takes a pebble to start an avalanche.
I made the conscious decision to kill it off straight away – and concentrated to be only professional at work. I have remained like that for more than 15 years now and I think it has served me well on many levels . Firstly, any temptation would never get anywhere, secondly – I think you are much more respected by your colleagues for being 100% professional, than being charming and flirty . I will not drink during the Xmas parties and never talk about private matters . It’s a much better way.
@AFS Yep divorce is long overdue. Agree, work needs to be 100% professional. Quite honestly, what I think is mutual flirting, is in reality sexual harassment. Don’t mix the two.
Maybe your wife caught you “flirting” and figured you probably cheat on her, so why not cheat on you, too?
“Though, a tampon has not been purchased in years.. ”
What does this mean? Very odd comment.
This member of Chump Nation is NOT with you.
One of the worst things about having children with a FW is that you cannot speak the truth about them anywhere the children (even if they are adults) can hear the awful facts of the truth. It would be like trying to take public testimony at the Nuremberg trials from a survivor from one of the Nazi death camps who had been raped and conceived a child by one of the Nazi’s. “You cannot say bad things about the other parent! It makes the children feel conflicted! The children should be allowed to love their parent(s)!”
One of the things I feared when I attended my late Ex’s funeral (for our children’s sake) was that some whitewashed version of his life would be presented as the truth. I did have to endure some hogwash about how the Lord had forgiven him and he was already in heaven. He did not seek forgiveness, never admitted wrongdoing, never went to church willingly that I know of except for a brief stint where he thought it would help his business credibility. I think the Christian world is like AA and NA — you have to confess, repent, and make amends. He did none of this. If he is “in heaven” then the Lord really has a liberal admission policy!
But neither of my children know everything their dad, or subsequent stepdad did. I don’t either — but I know (now) they were not the worst liars and cheaters in the world. Some of the stories from Chump Nation make it clear they were both run of the mill cheaters, but AT THE TIME I WAS LIVING THROUGH IT, I was miserable. I was a joy kill, too. Put down the beer, and parent. Put down your whore du jour and parent — Oh, and be a good husband, too! I had to figure out how to navigate the marriage and raise my children with no help and try to balance the economics of survival by myself. If anyone should have a sadz, it was me, but I was too busy.
I have another impertinent question. How many times do you have to go to rehab to realize YOU have a problem? It is not caused by other people, but YOU, YOU, YOU! If you are an alcoholic, you should not be having a beer, right? I am diabetic, and I don’t sit down with an occasional sheet cake. If I have a sugar craving, is there someone I can blame?
With regard to all the tabloid love stories — Really? Seriously? Are you fabulous because you are rich? You may have some talent dancing, or singing, or acting, but that does not make you a great person. I remember the SNL line, it is better to look marvelous . . . It was a hilarious comedy skit, but oh so true!
I know (intellectually) that my children do not have to know everything, and neither do I, to realize that their dad was a very flawed person. I realized the same thing about my own dad. I don’t have to tell specific tales, but I also do not have to sing false praises. When I have nothing good to say, I say nothing. Sometimes the silence speaks volumes. If only the media and the STARZ would learn to StFU about all the shenanigans that pass for love, wouldn’t the world be a better place? Putting jewels on a toilet seat does not change the purpose of the seat. We need to reflect on the true purpose, and intent, of the people in our lives. We may all have flaws, but we don’t all try to “look marvelous” while we live our lives.
????????????
Ben said…
“ I’d probably still be drinking. It’s part of why I started drinking … because I was trapped,” the actor continued. “I was like ‘I can’t leave ’cause of my kids, but I’m not happy, what do I do.’ What I did was drink a bottle of scotch and fall asleep on the couch, which turned out not to be the solution.”
So let me get this straight. He stayed for the kids but got shitfaced drunk everyday and passed out on the couch.
#daddysdrunkagain
#theaffleckafflication
#blameitonthealcohol
Someone needs to throat punch this narcissist.
This interview will bite him. There was absolutely no need for him to discuss his former marriage, none. I think he was trying to impress JLo, by publicly saying he was trapped in a loveless marriage but good guy that he is, he really loves his kids so what was he to do? I’m sure he has told JLo that their break up was a mistake, his marriage was a mistake, blah blah blah. Telling her everything she wants to hear. The truth is he love bombed the hell out of JLo (while she was married to another guy) 20 years ago, then in no time checked out and gave her the discard. This time when he checks out instead of hanging with strippers he’ll hang with his kids, be father of the year and who can disparage him for making his kids a priority? Right from the narc playbook.
it occurs to me that ben may actually be sabotaging his relationship with JLo by saying such a stupid thing about his JG. because that’s what alcoholics do, self-sabotage.
she’s break up with him and then he’ll go on a big bender, which he’s craving. and on it goes.
Thank you CL for this. I hate reading about this FW in the media. Reminds me greatly of the Pitt-Jolie early days.
What continues to astonish and befuddle me is how narcissists and FWs attract and retain smart, balanced, trusting, nice, loving Chumps. I look back at my own life and ask myself HOW such a low life con artist managed to inspire such devotion and spackling in me for so many years. Now that the pain is gone at last, I look back and shake my head. Can someone send JG a copy of LACGAL?
Once I found out he was a gambler, a very high flying private jets to Vegas type, I knew his wife and babies were doomed. Gambling is worse than the drinking, imho. Gosh knows how many millions he pissed away and when wife found out and reined him down onto the couch. he compounds with hard liquor drinking in front of the kids. They are the ones trapped, not that douche bag. I remember when he won the Oscar and acted like everyone was against him but he showed them. Geez get over yourself. Anyway. Jennifer is dealing with a bad man and a volatile critter so she can’t let him take the kids trick or treating alone. Their daddy is nuts and makes trouble. Her life is just wrestling alligators. And I feel pity on the poor lady.
I read this feed and thought what a load of shit. His brain must be shit. If he thought for a moment that being in that trapped marriage was to blame for him drinking then magically stopped without another desire to due to the kids seeing him like that, he’s full of shit.
I’m not surprised at her fortitude because she’s a member of the club but for him not to think omg how is she not cheating, drinking herself to sleep etc because she’s trapped with a piece of shit husband is typical disordered mode.
She’s got a platform to shut this shit down and change the narrative. Someone needs to send her here.
I might be repeating someone. He is an alcoholic. Of course she stayed on his butt. I saw photos, videos, of the day she got his drunken ass into rehab. Not his friends, not his lovers, his caring ex. I think the day they separated was the day she drew a relieved breath. She maintains a relationship with him for the children. I have a lot of news scrolling online so I read and guess she has moved on romantically. Maybe he and the old/new Jennifer Lopez can make things work. As far as I know she doesn’t talk about him because she doesn’t need to. His actions were pretty public. He, on the other hand, has to make sure the public knows his wife is who drove him to drink. Class act all the way there.
I dont discuss my ex’s behavior or my thoughts about the divorce publicly. And yes, I do do family outings with the kids because I want to see them trick or treat or wake up in Christmas morning and they want to be with their father those times too. It costs me nothing to be civil to someone my children love, and it’s not hopium or spackling. Trick or treating with someone is not a blanket approval of all their life choices. My children aren’t idiots, though. They know why they only live with mommy and who it is they can trust and rely on. And I don’t think she’s being kicked in the teeth. She trusts that he sucks and that everyone knows it. What he says is total meh to her.
alcoholism is a disease and ben’s sick. he has disordered thoughts and feelings. until he truly follows a treatment plan and gets right with his god (as he defines it), he’ll continue to say and do harmful things, and lie about them, because alcoholics lie:
#1 that woman made me drink
#2 i didn’t screw the nanny, the nanny screwed me
#3 the responsibility of having kids with that woman made me drink
ben’s genetically loaded by having an alcoholic father. isn’t his brother an addict?
in the meantime, ben’s an asshole. and JG knows it, his kids know it, all their therapists know it, and still they persist. why? because JG has three genetically loaded kids with him and there’s the good likelihood that one or two of them are budding addicts. she’s tense about this reality. so she’s managing the best she can, given her bad choice in men, and the future mental/physical health of her kids.
i married an alcoholic and i have an alcoholic daughter. i know about this tension. if i don’t present my interpretation of X’s behaviour as “sick from alcoholism, here’s hoping he goes to rehab and get better” then i send a message to my daughter that she’s less than. and she’s not. she’s working the program (AA) and getting through each day, one at a time, with an alcoholic, narcissistic dad.
PS blaming someone else for your drinking is pretty much a diagnostic indicator of alcoholism in the DSM, isn’t it?
Heaven forbid this dickturd has to wipe his own ass ????????????.
He’ll always find some dumb chick to do it. They always do.
Always.
I think it says volumes that there hasn’t been a word of scandal about Jennifer Garner, that she works steadily in the industry, and that she doesn’t trash Affleck publicly.
It’s a shame that a man with his talent is an addict and a narcissistic asshat. But it’s unforgivable to suggest that Garner and his kids kept him “trapped.” That’s a whole lot of “you’re not the boss of me” immaturity and narcissism.
In the addiction world, he’s a dry drunk.
In the psychology world, he’s a narcissist.
In the cheating world, he’s trying to re-engage the hypotenuse of the triangle.
Hope the mother of his children uses this as an opportunity to “tweak” the parenting arrangement.
The truth is cheaters are liars to us BUT mostly to themselves. Being a selfish coward is the choice they make to continue their fun, secret life. Until they are found out!! I shielded my x too from kids and family bc I didn’t want the family blown up. He knew this and therefore took it as a pass, and what I didn’t know would hurt —- until it did. I resented hearing that I was “throwing away” 32 yrs of marriage, family and mostly the CHEATER.
Shitty character is developed over time. What life I have left now, I don’t have to make excuses or pretend he loved me. His character is on full display now without me haing to clean up on aisle 9. FREE from the crazy …. for me it was the price for PEACE.
López also was with Marc Anthony, who is known in PR as an abusive husband by his exes. Lord help the Jennifers.
Not to mention that he also cheated on his wife, I believe she won Miss Universe, on J. Lo. And wrote a salsa song about it – “Tu amor me hace bien”. ????
What is it with these men saying they are unhappy in their family lives, and that justifies totally betraying and f-ing them over?
I put my body, career, social life… everything on hold for my X. (A mistake looking back, I know.) I put him through an advanced degree over my own, took care of two medically needy kids while being the main income provider. Trashed my body burning the candle at both ends while he was sure to get in his daily workouts. Then he kept adding random throw-back sports and trips. But, he was so UNHAPPY!
Obviously there is a hole in them where enjoying parenting and kids and having a family life should be, and instead it is some kind of burden. I don’t get it.
And what is it with the requirement that the cheated-on need to be so “graceful” and endearing in the face of this crap and betrayal. So many people said to me after DDay… “handle it with grace”. F-you. No, I didn’t take the ugly out in front of the kids, because they are kids, but no I was not hiding the truth from adults. He kept telling people a reversed timeline to continue to look like the victim, and I told the truth. We’ll see where that falls in the end.
Just a friendly reminder, it’s not just men who claim unhappiness in their married life…women do this to men, also. There are several men who post on ChumpLady.
I know that when my husband left me after 25 years, I apologized to my parents that this happened. I internalized that my FW’s behavior, and his leaving for a girl half his age, was a reflection on me. If only I had been better…
It’s something we stand on here…that our FW’s behavior is not about us, it’s about them.
I just wish there was some shame, still, in leaving a spouse for someone new and shiny. Hollywoood makes it seem the norm that, if bored, just find a new partner. Churches used to preach about the sanctity of marriage and family – maybe they still do – but when church leaders are having affairs, I’d say something is amiss.
Gawd, this reminds of the conversation the Dickhead had with me before filing for divorce and even after. Makes me irate just thinking about it, and reminds how miserable and inconsolable I was. I was devastated and the whole time, the POS Dickhead was trying pull the ‘marriage failed” routine after I had just spent 19 years giving him my everything and now was a shell of the vibrant woman I was pre-Dickhead.
Wake up Jennifer, he will never be someone to hold in respect.
Marriages don’t “just fail” all of the sudden. They don’t. The wife/husband talked to the spouse and the response was that all was still going great. Meanwhile, the spouse was harboring resentment but didn’t have the where-with-all to mention it to the wife/husband (i.e. they didn’t have the guts to discuss it), so they ran away like the coward they are because they found something shiny and new. Shiny and new was sure to make them happy! The spouse of 25 years was boring. Let’s call it what it is.
My ex-husband never mentioned a word of discontent…in fact, he loved me to the moon and back, he said….until he found the 29 year old coworker…who talked to him about her vagina at work…yes, not joking…
The betraying spouse’s behavior is underhanded, cowardly and immature, over and over and over again. It’s present in all of our stories – even Jennifer Garner’s story. But there are no repercussions…the betraying spouse has told friends and family that they were unhappy for years and just stayed because they were obligated. (What a great, suffering guy or gal to family and friends! They deserve happiness!) And family and friends believe this crap – and think, well, they stayed longer than they should have! They don’t question anything. The narrative is set by the abandoner…not the long-term spouse. The abandoner always wins.
The long-term spouse loses. Family-in-law that loved their son’s/daughter’s spouse for years suddenly want nothing to do with them.
Meanwhile, the new partner gets all the rewards…at least, temporarily. There is false security in their partner’s family.
When do we call these so-called partners out for what they are…immature cowards?
My partner just abandoned me a month ago, and I was so surprised because everything was great until the last couple of months, and even then, I thought he was just stressed with a new job and depressed with the changing seasons and decreasing sunlight (he usually got down every winter). He didn’t express problems with the relationship. I guess he just got bored and/or wanted independence? Or just stopped loving me? I don’t have any idea what really happened. (This new ex is not my cheater ex.) I’ve asked him why he left but all I know is at the end, he was depressed and didn’t feel emotions at all (and did not feel love toward me either). Then he spent a few days away from me for a change of environment and came back and left me. (He said he didn’t feel depressed when he wasn’t with me). I just re-read LACGAL and was surprised that a lot of Tracy’s advice applies to this abandonment as well as the last one by the cheater ex I had. (I am working my way through all the good books I got and read after my ex–husband left, which was an even more sudden abandonment with no warning of anything being off at all.)
@Duped for years, I guess my ex-partner was also scared to express his feelings and just didn’t tell me what was going on and let me wrongly think he was just feeling “down”? Little did I know…he must have been planning to leave me and thinking a lot of things I had no idea he was thinking? And I’ve lost his family that I loved so much too, except one grandmother who reached out to me and has said she loves me and she wants to remain in touch. She’s the only one who has communicated with me at all from his entire family. She is sweet and checks on me regularly.
Anyhow, I survived my cheating ex leaving me in 2013, and like Tracy says in LACGAL, surviving that lets you know you can do it again. But in the thick of it, it sure hurts like hell…
Typical alcoholic chatter. My narcissistic, alcoholic father blamed us kids for his untreated disease, “At least when I was drinking, I didn’t have to hear you girls fight.”
The blame game got no better once he found AA, but at least he sobered up & helped other alcoholics. It’s a horrible disease.
Agreed. Full narc. His drinking isn’t his problem- it’s a symptom of another problem- that he can’t or won’t address (childhood trauma from his alcoholic father? Who knows? It’s 2022 Ben get it together) He has more money than god to get the help and he won’t- because he’s an entitled narc. It’s funny he told Diane Sawyer he was sober for his kids, and tells Stern he drinks because of his wife (insert NAG joke here -EYEROLL)
Does it really have to be childhood trauma? Maybe he was just too weak for the many temptations he got as a well-known actor. Being famous is a narcissist’s heaven: imagine all the female attention, all the interviews, the money. Hear people saying a 1000 times you’re amazing and you might just start to believe it. So when something goes wrong it cannot be you – because you’re amazing, right? – so then it has to be someone else and the delusion start.
I think the whole trauma thing should stop being an excuse for bad behaviour. We’re almost all traumatized up to some point, yet we’re not all bad people.
Let’s not forget that he’s known for getting grabby with women, him and his equally creepy brother both.
Going back to Lopez is typical cheater behavior, too- recycling their chumps because they’re too lazy to break in a new one.
Diagnosis; moronic, massively entitled, sexist, whiny little bitch. Jen might just as well try to amiably co-parent with a boa constrictor, only a boa constrictor is a lot smarter than that turd.
BTW, Ben; nobody thinks you really had any hand in writing Good Will Hunting. It was all Matt Damon, who gave you a co-writer credit for making the lame suggestions he didn’t take. You’re too stupid to write a dinner menu, let alone a decent script.
SO agree!!!!
What I know Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez is the same as anyone else reads in the press. I suspect Jennifer Garner has “Chump-er’s” guilt, having possibly cheated on her former husband. Ben Affleck has always struck me as someone who suffers from arrested development. A gambling habit often indicates the need for immediate gratification, uncalculated risks and the high that spontaneous excitement brings. (I give him credit for addressing his alcohol addiction in a productive way). I think Jennifer Lopez is in love with being in love. Who knows. Sounds like it might be a big pot of Chump Soup.
” I just want to forget all about you and start a new life.” This from the 74 year old man I was married to 50 years. The lack of character in men like my ex and Ben is beyond description. I for one don’t care at all about ” the Hollywoods” nor do I expect anything but the gapping, dribble Ben spews. Ignore it and it will go away.
Joke’s on your ex when he needs a nurse maid, which won’t be long. Whores who bang married men aren’t known for their nurturing qualities and loyalty.
The karma bus is coming his way.
Wait for the elder abuse. Just wait for it. Karma ????
True, unless there is a big wad of cash at the end of that bed pan.
I remember when my ex pulled all his shit, I had been talking to several women in our church who were going through a D. There was one lady, so elegant and sweet, and she was waiting patiently for her cheater H to come back.
I wish she had your spunk, and had let the epher go. I have thought of her and another woman, who was a bit younger than me maybe late thirties. (I was 40) the younger woman was still letting her ex who had D’d her come over a couple nights a week. (he had claimed there was no other woman, but he just didn’t want to be married)
And you are so right, the lack of character just screams at anyone who has any sense at all.
I have wondered how long he used her before she finally gave up on him.
He cheated which means he sucks. If things were unsatisfactory to him there were many more ethical paths he could have taken. Honest conversation. Separation/Divorce before hooking up with someone else. Not one iota of respect or sympathy for him. Also would not touch him with a barge pole. Cheaters tend to keep cheating.
Wow – even Piers Morgan is laying into Affleck this morning in the Daily Mail.
The narrative is definitely changing.
IKR? Like, how badly do you have to fuck up before Piers Papooses-Are-Unmanly Morgan is offended at your shitty fathering?
We all have problems, society delights in the failures of the rich and famous. Even more than we celebrate them. All that being said, this is such an easy target. The dude makes his living off of his ability to play the cocky arrogant jerk……..no small surprise that’s what he is in real life. Addiction, loveless marriage…..yes sometimes marriages don’t work. Quit giving men a bad name and actually be one. You’re miserable in you’re marriage? Do something about it!!! Even if that means divorce. Drinking and banging rando’s is not being a man. Own your shit, take responsibility and move forward. That’s at least SOME semblance of a man. I get it, we can all make mistakes when we’re down. Owning them is what defines character.
Trapped?? What an entitled scumbag.
Cheaters lie, they rewrite history, they blame their spouses.
This asshole is just following the Cheaters’ Handbook.
He’s also getting paid for his acting skills; a lot of us were married to spouses who could oh so convincingly “say lines” that fit their hero’s journey narrative but which were total bullshit. No blinking, no twitching, no tells – they are highly skilled actors too. Having no conscience makes it easier to spout crap which isn’t true and appear to be sincere.
Sounds like he and JLo should be a perfect match. Two self centered creeps who can hopefully keep each other off the “market”.
That sad sausage will never Garner any pity from Chump Nation. Trashing her like that, after everything. What a cowardly piece of garbage.
Ben Affleck is so taken by himself, it’s remarkable that he’s ever been able to marry or date when he only has eyes for himself, he is a complete train wreck of a man.
I feel really bad for Garner though too. She seems way to sweet to have to tolerate such an a-hole trying to douse the napalms he drops all the time with her little paper dixie cup of sweetness and hope, that’s depressing for her.
She has been unhealthily tolerant of all his years of clearly outrageous behavior and she needs to cut that ship wreck of a loser, loose, and sail on without him. Rapidly!!
The friendly uncoupling BS drives me insane. No surprise Paltrow came up with it, she’s a piece of work herself. Can you spell ‘ gloriously entitled’ Gwynith?!
My opinion of JLo is that she is a narcissist herself and a voracious man eater. She can handle Affleck, she’ll just flip him with her unpolished nail while getting her manicure done and not miss a beat. She’ll crush him before he even considers hurting her.
Then she’ll be on to the next “how can I attract the most attention in life?” boyfriend.
Maybe she’ll move on to the NFL this time for variety. Perhaps, Aaron Rodgers might be a nice dalliance for her, as well as she for him. Both are too wrapped up in themselves to ever consider what a partner may need.
I heard earlier today about the comments by Ben on the Howard Stern show and was not even a slightly bit surprised. Classy male meets classy male. Shock actor meets shock jock, all bets are off what comes out or who they will hurt.
Again, just sad for Jennifer and her kids, he will always be a liability.
Do not trick or treat with them Jennifer!! Inhabit different continents would be your best bet.
Oh thank god, behind the play here, but instantly thought of CL and CN when saw this. Narc playbook and by the sound of the interview (haven’t listened myself, just reading comments across social media) he sounded drunk at the time.
Sooo good to see Affleck’s comments are getting a hammering in various comment boxes and by many journos and columnists worldwide. Whatever publicist thought this would be good publicity for his latest film release might need a career rethink. Where does the entitlement end? Horrible people in a horrible bubble of entitlement and white male privilege. Yuck.
He sounded drunk ????
He is a drunk!
Honestly I remember when Ben Affleck was engaged to JLo and their engagement was broken off when he managed to cheat on her with his now ex wife who he met on their movie set for dare devil. So honestly, I thought him cheating on her with the nanny was bad but then again I’m pretty sure this is all just karma.
Jimmy Kimmel has given Affleck a platform to say he didn’t say what he said and he da family man. Getting so sick of these fucking enablers.
I just saw a commercial on TV that a morning show is hosting the loser tomorrow morning. I suspect so he can again try to convince folks he didn’t say what he said.
I am betting his agents are pissed. They are likely working over time trying to get him booked on shows to claim he is innocent of what he said.
What’s Kimmel getting from all of this supporting Ben?
Eyeballs. That’s Kimmel’s kibbles…all narcs have an agenda.
Chump Lady, thank you so much for your post! When I heard Ben’s comments I was just certain your Narc Alert post would be immediately forthcoming!
You know who I feel sorry for? J Lo’s kids. I swear that she is ALL about stoking the publicity machine to keep herself and her career relevant. She does it by repeatedly attaching herself to celebs and drag her kids along for the ride without a thought for their well being. She was with her back-up dancer, Ben, Marc Anthony, Alex Rodriguez (who of course broke up with Madonna) and now back to Ben Affleck. So awful! No respect for Jennifer Garner’s children nor her own. Hey, J Lo can may have booked the SuperBowl half- time show and she has her personal trainers and hairstylists BUT like us all she is getting older and there will be A LOT of lovely young actresses and new singers ready for the limelight when the Covid pandemic subsides and concerts resumes.