Is it credible that a man who made his fortune on tales of conspiratorial intrigue was accused by his ex-wife of having a double life?
In a court filing last year, Blythe Brown, ex-wife of Dan Brown, the author of “The DaVinci Code”, alleged that he had multiple affairs and hid assets — information she apparently wasn’t aware of when the divorce was finalized in 2019.
Want the details? Alas, they settled the lawsuit this week. So you’ll have to respect Dan Brown’s privacy about his horse trainer Schmoopie Judith Pietersen. Because who among us hasn’t gifted a $350,000 Friesian to a friend?
If I were Dan Brown, and I had a completely platonic case of equestrian generosity, I might feel a bit miffed that the horse was held in higher regard than I was.
Tabloid, the U.S. Sun reported:
The 56-year-old novelist, an equestrian enthusiast, donated horses, a two-horse transportation truck, and a car to Pietersen in addition to paying for her training stable, Blythe claims in her lawsuit.
One of those gifts is supposedly a prize-winning stallion worth nearly $350,000 named LimiTed Edition.
Pietersen has shared several pictures on Facebook of herself with her “dream horse.”
She affectionately refers to as her “big love” in a 2017 post about a Horse of the Year award for the Netherlands-based horse organization KFPS.
“So amazing that my big love Limited Edition is also selected for it,” she wrote.
“Proud of this fantastic horse, he really is a dream horse!”
Oh Dan, you cleft-chinned dunderdouche. You’ll never be her dream horse. LimiTed Edition is her one twu wuv. You’re a wallet in a turtleneck.
But you’ll probably never be short of Schmoopies either.
Another tabloid, the Daily Mail reported in July:
When Mrs Brown confronted her ex-husband in January this year after learning about the secret wire transfers, he allegedly acknowledged he had deceived her personally and financially, saying: ‘I’ve done bad things with a lot of people.’
She said that he had admitted the affair with Miss Pietersen and also confessed to another fling with a local hairdresser.
Mrs Brown says he also cheated on her with a politician in Anguilla, a British Overseas Territory in the eastern Caribbean, where they had a home, and with his personal trainer in New Hampshire.
Her lawsuit specifies undisclosed damages and says ‘Blythe’s sense of pain, humiliation, betrayal and anguish is unbearable and debilitating.
‘She has great difficulty eating or sleeping, and Dan has caused her to suffer significant emotional distress.’
Blythe, I’m sorry you were chumped. May your settlement be a blessing. And may Dan trip and fall into a pile of LimiTed Edition horse shit.