Thanks for your patience as I’ve waded through the tragic-hilarious submissions to Cheater Freak X-mas. The winner is: “Bag O’ Dicks.”
There was some stiff competition. (Sorry, I could not resist the bawdy pun.)
I never had proof for years and D-Day happened because while I was putting a bag for goodwill in the trunk of his car I found his gym bag….but he hadn’t been to the gym in years. I opened it. It was full of dildos and strap ons….some of them were my personal toys. He had been meeting one of his APs in a hotel to get pegged.
A literal bag of dicks outed him.
Bag O’ Dicks, I will be in touch. (Eww. I mean, like I will send you an email. And a book. And probably some cleansing wipes.)
Runner up was the entire thread about cheaters’ excuses for covering their hickeys. Which apparently could be a whole Friday Challenge. Wrestling? A buoy snapped and hit him in the neck? She had an accident? (What, a band of leeches mugged you?)
And also in the Ridiculous Whoppers category, a shout out to Unicornnomore for:
He came home with a broken kneecap BUT he called me at school )something he NEVER did to let me know that he was injured riding his bike (in a city where we didnt live) after being chased and attacked by a ferocious dog who he said he killed with the rock that he hit when he crashed.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I BELIEVED his story.
but I now wonder what jealous man caught him fucking his woman and hit his kneecap with a baseball bat.
Wow, maybe CL could use the “ferocious dog broke my kneecap story” if it rhymes with anything
Frog spoke my wee clap?
Mysterious hickeys, ferocious kneecap-breaking dogs, and a bag of dicks. Happy New Year, CN. May your 2022 be freak free.