When I was working through the Cheater Freak Xmas submissions (winner: a literal bag of dicks), there was a whole subthread of outlandish explanations given for hickeys. He was hit in the neck with a buoy, she met with an unfortunate accident with bloodthirsty leeches, etc.
Behold your Friday Challenge.
Tell CN the craziest excuse you got for anything remotely suspicious on their person.
It’s okay if you thought it sounded vaguely plausible. (I suppose there are rogue buoys that fling themselves at unsuspecting swimmers…) But now we can laugh. Together. At them.