I found your blog long after my husband discarded me for another woman after twelve years of marriage and three kids together. It was the first week of my second year of my master’s program, and the first time that I had relied on him to support our family. He had a spotty work history, drug and gambling problems, and an inability to budget money. The timing was not coincidental. He had waited until I deposited the funds from my student loan, then withdrew those funds and used them to pay a gambling debt. He then disappeared for the next year.
I finished school, and my children are mostly recovered from his betrayal. It was an impossibly difficult two years, but things are so much better than they ever were when I was married to him. I spent the first three years post-separation being grateful to the OW because she was the one taking care of him. Then, she discarded him for another man.
My question is this. Is anyone else grateful for the OW/OM for improving their lives so exponentially? I was committed. We had kids together. I would have kept spackling until I died, probably. Now, when he talks about getting back together, it makes my skin crawl on a visceral level. I am so relieved that I do what I want, can actually pay all my bills without stress, and am now longer catering to his every need. Thank you, OW, for releasing me from that lifetime with a fuckwit.
Friday Challenge accepted. Of course, YOU improved your life exponentially. Not Schmoopie. Bad things (or people) can be a catalyst for change, but the bravery to walk into that new life is all yours.
That said, I understand the relief that a FW is someone else’s responsibility now. The parasite finds another host, thank God it’s not you. I feel relief if that person is a Schmoopie (no tag backs!), and pity if it isn’t.
Both sentiments are a long way from the agonies of earlier pick me dances.
So, CN, what are your thoughts? Got some gratitude to report? Perhaps, a no-returns policy?