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Jeff Zucker’s Hasty Retreat

Jeff Zucker
Source: Wikipedia, photo by David Shankbone

A bunch of you sent me the news yesterday that Jeff Zucker has been buried in giant avalanche of schadenfreude.

The now former-CNN president suddenly stepped down because he’s been having a long professional relationship of mutual respect and consent with his subordinate, Allison Gollust.

Their ex-spouses were not available for comment on the whole “respect and consent” thing but hey, whatevz. Allison says this deep friendship didn’t start until COVID.

Broadcaster Katie Couric suggests an entirely different timeline. People reports:

In her October 2021 memoir, Couric mentioned how Zucker previously “made a huge push to bring on Allison Gollust” at NBCUniversal…

She adds, “The problem was, we’d already hired a PR person for the show. There wasn’t a role for Allison. Jeff asked me to meet with her anyway.”

In the excerpt, Couric writes about wondering “why Jeff was angling so hard to bring Allison on board” and recalled the time when Gollust “and her husband and kids had moved into the apartment above” the one Zucker shared with his now ex-wife, Caryn Nathanson. (Zucker shares four children with Nathanson. Their divorce was finalized in 2018.)

“Everyone who heard about the cozy arrangement thought it was super strange,” Couric writes. “By that point, [Zucker’s then-wife] Caryn had become a close friend and it made me really uncomfortable.”

You and your smutty mind, CN! It’s a 20 year professional partnership! Chances are good you’ll wind up in the exact same apartment tier as your boss when you live in a city of over 8 million people.


🎵 Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me…🎵

The tabloid The New York Post reports:

And as the pair took vacations together, went apartment hunting and going into each other’s hotel rooms for alleged “meetings,” Gollust has spent years lying about their affair, blasting reporters on numerous occasions for being “sexist” by suggesting she was sleeping with her boss.

The affair between Zucker and Gollust — who have worked together for 25 years — stretches back to when they both worked at NBC, according to multiple sources.

Hey, the important thing to know is that Allison is really sorry and she’s going to step down, just like Jeff. Oh hang on, that didn’t happen. But she’s sorry! Oh… oops. No, sorry either. But she regrets “not disclosing it at the right time.”

How about creating a shitty work environment for women who were hoping to succeed on merit and not cocksucking? Sorry, Allison’s regrets must be lost in her calendar. Pencil me in. Next Thursday? Subject: You suck patriarchy dick.

Anyway, Jeff Zucker. Had he wanted job security, he would’ve wanked off on a Zoom call with his co-workers like Jeffrey Toobin.

Zucker’s purported sin was not disclosing his consensual relationship. But non-consensual dick exposure? Promote that guy!

I hear there’s a job opening for CNN president.

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  • Please no political sniping. Jeff Zucker gave us the Apprentice. He doesn’t seem fish nor fowl politically and I don’t care, and I can’t have political stuff on the site. (For my job job reasons.) Don’t make me knock heads and moderate. I hate it.

    But do feel free to snark away about workplace Schoompies and what creeps these two are.

    • Yea, both sides of the political aisle have enough cocksuckery going on to neutralize any blame bombs we may have on that front, let’s not go there.

    • Oh the “workplace Schmoopie”, that fine Christian woman who spent more time with my then husband than I did. He is her boss, writes her evaluations. Does he slip sly references to her magical blowjobs into her job performance reviews? How does he counsel her? When will he be outed? I hope never because alimony is a sweet consolation. I need him to work to support me after sacrificing my earning potential to his precious career. If that makes me gold digger then pass me a shovel.

      I doubt there is any real punishment for the “workplace schmoopie” and Fuckface. They will continue to work together in star crossed bliss. Their illicit romance is now open as they are engaged. Totally makes it legitimate to be engaged to a married man. There will be no public condemnation, no workplace shunning. Sucker, I mean Zucker will just retire early and golf.

      I rely on the fact that their Karma is to be themselves.

        • to the tune of “Eleanor Rigby”:

          “All the workplace schmoopies! Where do they all come from?

          Uxworld, take it and run with it!

        • Workplace affairs are lame.

          I can only imagine the lousy job howorkers get done, with all the sneaking around, daydreaming and work breaks they indulge in while keeping things secretly going on.

          I think most of them could get fired on grounds of poor productivity alone, would anyone pay enough attention.

          • Affairs generally have a huge impact on productivity. The ex conducted his affair with exgfOW, who lived in North America, via working late (UK chump here). He used the time difference to his advantage and stayed late at work to commune with her online. Unsurprisingly his work output declined dramatically. In the last year I was with him he was marked as ‘average’ on his appraisal. Cue tantrums, complaints, venom directed at his female boss (he never worked well with women). I helped him put a business case together to get his grade uplifted. Which he did. And then I was dumped! It helped me as he got a small pay rise which reduced the amount I ended up having to pay him. ‘Average’ was an accurate reflection of his abilities once I’d got my blinkers off. The new me, after a lot of therapy ongoing two years later, would have said ‘hello’ and moved quickly on. I sold myself very short.

            • As an aside, MightyWarrior, your comment just recalled me of an outrageous episode. One of those long wreckonciliation nights FW and me were discussing the infidelity, she flaunted her then most recent appraisal from her superiors at work. At one point it said of her: “loyal, honest, with immaculate public and familiar life” (brazilian military includes these aspects in their evaluation and have a penchant for bombast). As though these opinions somehow absolved her of all her misdeeds and disloyalty toward me. She repeated the words above while waving the paper in front of my face, and added: “you see? You are the only one that thinks ill of me”. I don’t know where I found the wits and balls to promptly and calmly reply: “if you really think what you’ve been doing isn’t wrong, then why don’t you do it the open? Let’s see what your bosses are going to write on your next appraisal if you’re lucky enough to have one” (she was fucking a subordinate of hers and cutting him too much slack regarding his abhorrent behaviour in the workplace). Silence. One of the high points of wreckonciliation.

              • OMG, pieces are falling into place by the day now.

                It *just* dawned on me why my FW XW let a certain female subordinate walk all over her in the work place: she probably knew of the affair (or maybe other misdeeds?). If this is true, my XW affair(s ?) could have been going on for way longer than I have suspected so far.

                I have witnessed this woman literally yell at my FW over workplace issues one time I was at the military hospital they work at for a medical appointment for my kids (her rank was corporal while FW was a captain at the time, if I recall correctly). FW would always take us for a tour and drop by her lab. How many APs and people who knew of them I could prossibly have met and greeted and done small talk with, OMG, I made a total fool of myself!🤦‍♂️😖

                I was appalled by the yelling at a boss thing (I am not even in the military, and it would never cross my mind to yell at a subordinate, let alone a boss). I didn’t wait for us to get home, I took FW aside and asked her why she was visibly intimidated by that person and why would her let that kind of thing happen. My FW was not the type to put up with the slightest disobedience (ask me how I know). It was crazy, it was in front of her family, for God’s sake! I was met with horizon-gazing and some mumbling, but no meaningful word came out of her mouth. I now recognize this behaviour: she was affraid and trying desperately to change subject.

                And FW was always stepping on eggshells around this woman, the compliments and appraisals always looked way over the top, and their text exchanges were embarrassingly lopsided, unctuous and cheap-flatter filled by my wife, she looked like a sycophant ass-kissing subordinate herself, it was plain *weird*.

                The cherry on the top of all this is that when I told FW that I had informants on her misdeeds she actually *kneel* in prayer position and begged me crying to confirm her (totally unwarranted) suspicion that it was *this* woman. Then she calmed herself down, wiped her tears and told me she was 100% sure it only could’ve been her (she was wrong).

                OMG, I made such a fool of myself going to that damned place and talking to those people. FW must have been briefing them daily with my real and imagined/invented short-comings.

                With hindsight, it explains a lot. For instance, why the child neurologist of our kids (FW’s buddy and coworker) was unexpectedly hostile toward me as of late and refrained from diagnosing my eldest son with what looked like Asperger’s in her own opinion and in the opinion of his very experienced, medical school professor pediatrician that referred him to a neurologist in the first place. She said she was affraid a diagnosis could thwart his furhter development. This turned out to be detrimental to the kid social development as even the FW admitted later on. It turns out my FW wanted him enrolled in an elite school that maybe wouldn’t take him if he had a diagnose (they are so weird, it’s the last boys-only school in Brazil, and they don’t want to let go of their biggoted ways – “it’s tradition”). This choice of school, that I went along in spite of all my several objections, was a total disaster to my eldest’s overall health. His pictures from that time are sad, he is so thin, he looks like a skeleton and was always complaining he was tired all the time, the poor little thing. There’s a huge pressure there for accomplishment and he would get anxiety attacks prior to exams. Cursive handwritting is very demanding for him (it is for me, I am a professor and never mastered it) and he was forced to use it, and they wrote so much each day… 😔
                If he had been diagnosed, I could have avoided it.

                My FW was probably already slandering me with her doctor buddy saying god knows what. In our divorce meeting she did tell the judge she didn’t understand what I had to gain by portraing our youngest son as severely autistic when in her opinion he is not – “he is in ABA therapy, is 8 yo and cannot keep a conversation foing if it is more than one direct sentence long, you fucking moron!” is what I wish I could have said. So, my guess is that she’s gotten her doctor buddy convinced that I was trying to tamper with the diagnosis to some personal gain.

                I am deeply ashamed I complied to my wife’s whimsical desires at the expense of my kids well-being. I failed them then. I am not letting them down again. I already made an appointment for both of them with a new pediatric neurologist with a very solid CV, much to my FW dismay, as she is currently harrassing me to enroll the eldest in another elite school that I bet would overwhelm him all over again. Funny how she always excludes the youngest, more severely autistic one – his condition couldn’t be downplayed or else I would go to the medical board against the motherfucker neurologist buddy 🤬 – she seems to have given up on him; he always went to different, cheaper schools and she wants things this way again; not on my watch, fuckwit!

                Funny thing she mentioned, as if this would lead me to agree to the change of school **in the beggining of the school year**, that there are kids from this prospective school of hers that have gotten accepted in Harvard. I want my kids to be as happy as possible (happiness is overrated, in my opinion), be decent, honest men, have a social life and keep jobs, not necessarily cross Americas to get a degree from Ivy League (as if it would be a certain thing). Talk about delusional…

                But I digressed… a lot. Sorry! 😳

                I sometimes worry that I might be misusing this safe space provided by Chump Lady clogging it with my ramblings, but writing freely about this infidelity and divorce stuff has been so beneficial to my mental health! I know the therapist couch is the right place for that, but it there is just not enough time to work through so much shit we’ve been through. For instance, this long entry helped me a lot to organize my arguments in case FW XW follow through her recent threat to petition in court that our eldest be transferred to this new school.

                I’m somewhat relieved it is an late entry and maybe it won’t annoy anyone. Sorry again.

            • Yes, the cheater was all over the show, online all night with the OW (he was always a nightowl so I didn’t notice any difference there), but when I discovered their texts and emails it was all through the workday, or he was skipping out of the office so they could talk, then ‘working late’ and zooming with her. I wonder how much he actuallly billed for fraudulently, or just gave the excuse that the development project was challenging and that’s why everything was moving so slowly. He was so distracted after Dday that he accidentally overwrote a whole drive of critical data and had to spend a long weekend sweating it, only to partially recover it. He bitched that his boss was on his tail to reach deadlines. If he hadn’t been fucking around with Schmoopie I’m sure things would have been far less stressful. And I was supposed to feel sorry for him because his boss was an asshole. No, it wasn’t the boss, mate.

      • “How does he counsel her? ”

        Likely by screwing her on his desk.

        I remember about a year before Dday, (not long after asswipe had gotten his office job) my he told me that one of the fire fighters screwed his girlfriend in his office. It didn’t take me long after Dday to realized all the shit he told me about what other guys were doing was actually him rubbing my nose in what he was doing.

        • Yes, Susie Lee,
          And my husband never went to the strip joints with the other guys while out of town on a business trip. He would, in his words, “never do that!” Just like he didn’t have a porn addiction.

          Cowardly liars.

      • Yup, I was a victim of a workplace schmoopie…while I was home taking care of all the house stuff in support of my husband, he and she were having $300 meals in Palm Springs, and “missing flights” to have more time together, and not calling each evening because “he decided to take a nap.” Uh-huh. And, all the coworkers let that shit go because they heard his wife was a real b*tch!

    • What I loved about the first few seasons of Succession is that it spells out how big media honchos all belong to the transnational corporate sponsor cocksucker party. People with set principles don’t even make it to the mail room in these organizations a la Chomsky’s “five filters.” One party might take more money from oil and weapons and another more from biotech (as do the respective news sources who serve those demographics), but they all sit on the same corporate think tanks. They all go radio silent over abuses committed by spomsoring or related industries or report the facts 10 years after facts were known internally.

      I have a penchant for listening to “exes” — former newscasters from both sides who were fired for standing up for some principle or other. Ex NY Times, ex-Fox News– doesn’t matter as long as they weren’t fired for harassing interns or screwing around on their spouses, etc. The exes sometimes lack standard hack self-editing faculties and bits of truth can be discerned from the blood spatters as they chomp on the hand that once fed them. It gets interesting even if I don’t agree with everything they represent.

    • Loved the Tony Orlando and Dawn Gif.

      “Chances are good you’ll wind up in the exact same apartment tier as your boss when you live in a city of over 8 million people”

      I can relate to that statement. My STBX took my at the time 10 year old son out on a date with one of her affair partners in NYC in 2016. This info is now coming out in her discovery. Her story is they she just ran into the affair partner on the street, the street we own an apartment on, in Manhattan. He lives and works in Staten Island. That was 5 years ago. This info is now coming out in her discovery. Doing damage control she told my son, now 15, that it was a coincidence. He is very smart but naive…..or so I thought. He said to his mom ” the odds of you running into someone you know in a city of 8 million is low, running into an affair partner really slim”

      • Smart kid. A therapist told me it’s often teenagers who blow the whistle on parental infidelity. My young cousin and his then-girlfriend (now wife) were the ones who uncovered his stepmom’s multiple affairs. My own daughter got imstinctively snoopy on dad’s devices, though I’d already found out from a whistleblower.

        Unless groomed and brainwashed and subjected to emotional incest, kids don’t love parents in the same blind way that chumps love partners. Romantic love is one of the scales that drops away from chumps’ eyes as meh approaches. Healthy kids never harbored that kind of love for a parent to begin with. They may love parents deeply but just not in that way. I imagine that’s why it’s not uncommon for teens to drop the dime.

        • My (then) 13 yo daughter told me about my ex husband’s affair. She and my ex were extremely close and it was devastating to her. She saw the text messages on his phone (among other things). He also had the audacity to ask her (without him knowing she knew anything at this point and before she had a chance to tell me) who’s side she would choose if he divorced me. She told him she didn’t think he would like the answer to that question. Guess what? She did end up choosing…and both kids have completely blocked him out of their life.

          • I don’t know if I love or hate the fact that we all have the same story. On the one hand, it’s good to know I’m not alone. On the other hand, it’s hard to know my life was such a cliche.

            My 12 year old son found the texts. The poor thing was beside himself trying to figure out what to do. My mother was visiting for Christmas, and he broke down sobbing to her.

            It’s this – the utter lack of concern for the children – that burns me raw to this day. I swear, sometimes when I think about the trauma he caused our kids because he wanted to wet his dick, I get absolutely homicidal.

            How do you do that to your own children and live with yourself? There’s no soul in these people.

            • “How do you do that to your own children and live with yourself?”

              I don’t know either.

              I cannot sincerely stand on the cheater’s shoes for one split second, but if I ever caused my kids the damage and pain their mother did (and continues to do) through any kind of premeditated act, I think the least I would do would be to don sackcloth and ashes (figuratively speaking) for the rest of my miserable life, that I would wish to be short.

              May cheaters who are parents rot in hell (also figuratively).

              • When most of the worst (that I know of – I’m sure there’s far worse i thankfully never will know) had come out, I tried to get ahold of reality by applying my own moral standards and inherent “code of behavior” to my ex. Years of being gaslighted had taken their toll, and engaging with FW was an absolute mindfuck, so I used the tactic of cutting through his BS by thinking, “What would I have done in his position?” whenever possible. I realized, and told FW, that the worst thing I had ever done or said to him didn’t compare to what he’d put me through for a single day. Serial cheaters lead a double life for years, even decades, and their partners and children are the worst victims. It’s unimaginable.

                Ex was a huge sad sausage. Pity was his weapon of choice. He went through a few periods when he talked a lot about suicide. Naturally, I was terrified and did whatever I could to listen and support him. Turns out, his suicidal ideation was the worst, and he shared it with me the most, when his secret cheating was at its worst. (These were also times when I felt pretty rotten, but I wasn’t putting that on him…) Whether this was a smokescreen, or the guilt and cognitive dissonance was beginning to take its toll, I can’t say. Maybe it was a combination of both. However, thinking about this after leaving – after the abuse reached a peak and the mask fell off, after I’d learned about the double life and ongoing lies and betrayals, and after I let myself acknowledge what he’d knowingly stolen from me – I thought to myself that I could understand why he would’ve wanted to kill himself. I can’t imagine living with the pressure and guilt of hurting another person that deeply, for that long. Keeping up multiple cons over a period of years, living a lie with an honest person who loves you, sacrifices for you, counts on you and loyally treats you like a *life partner*? In the trauma following ddays, during reconciliations and after leaving, there were times it was all too much and I wanted to die. I truly cannot imagine living the way serial cheaters do. And then they go on to the next sparkly thing, while even the mightiest chumps spend years, perhaps the rest of their lives, trying to heal and move on.

      • Yeah, I lived in NYC for 3 years back in the 80s. Saw someone on the street I actually knew 1-whole-time in 3 years.

  • It’s especially interesting to see people in the news business trying to “re-write history”. I know that’s what my FW did with his lawyer and assume it’s what he did with his family and our friends.

    Just wondering how their brains contain such a soup of nonsense. At the same time. Do they (cheaters) both really feel like they deserve to behave in a way that neither will later acknowledge?

  • At my job, a woman had an affair with the COO. He left his wife, they got married, and then he promoted her to Senior VP. She reports to HIM. She wreaks absolute havoc with several teams, because she knows she can. If she does something screwy, there is nothing anyone can do — because HR reports to him also. This is a massive company, not a mom-and-pop place.

    Good times.

    Karma is coming for them though, of that I have no doubt.

      • They wreak havoc even when not promoted which they mostly aren’t. The odds of getting anywhere significant by playing that game are so low I don’t know why anyone does it. Might as well get another degree. Even the most sociopathic hustlers I encountered never climbed very far.

        And find a fallout shelter when it dawns on them they bonked a goblin for nothing. They tend to take it out on peers. That’s how I found out about FW’s affair. The AP had made enemies from her
        wakeboarding, slapping-down and bitchiness at certain junctutes when she failed to get perks or an unrealistic promotion she felt entitled to through by humping a senior associate (who, oops, didn’t have the power to help her jump the line and was too dumb to realize this was expected). Someone she stepped on in those fits of pique turned whistleblower and sent me evidence.

        Then when spouses and families find out, the booty climbers sometimes can’t even use subtle blackmail to wring consolation perks out of ex paramours. Back when I was an intern, even though the bosses’ (yes, two bosses) side piece literally slapped my hand away in an entitled tantrum when I was instructed to help her with some task a monkey could do, I actually felt sorry for her when she lost her Visa and had to go back to Italy. The pervy overlords were done with her. She eas shattered and ended up developing some terrible chronic illness. It mostly doesn’t pay.

        • XAP was a private soldier direct-reporting to my FW (major).

          He was already notoriously an unreliable worker, but since he began screwing his boss, he:

          – used his personal credit card for workplace purchases, pocketing the change (public moneys!) from the “discounts” he got from “friendly suppliers”;

          – took even more frequent sick leaves than he used to take before;

          – whenever applying to and failing to show for extra hours (which accordingly, pays extra cash), asked my FW if she had any “friend in the high places that could work things out for him” (they get blocked out from getting extra hours once they screw up). And so she did over and over again.

          He thought he became the first gentleman of the workplace (though neither a first nor a gentleman).

          I have seen with my eyes many text exchanges where her was always cutting him a slack and I was sickened by it. She always accused me of sloth though I never failed to show up for work (never called in sick, ever) and in spite of all the childcare, chores and repairs I never had even to be asked to do around our home.

          At least XAP had been through a fender-bender with karma bus: after dumping her, she got him reassigned to an armpit of the town (urban war zone, without exaggeration).

          Ask your combatant commander (probably a hardened colonel) for a sick leave now, motherfucker! I bet he will be glad to oblige if you suck his cock.

  • “How about creating a shitty work environment for women who were hoping to succeed on merit and not cocksucking?”

    schadenfreud schadenfreud schadenfreud schadenfreud!!!!

    • “ How about creating a shitty work environment for women who were hoping to succeed on merit and not cocksucking?”

      This is brilliant Tracy! Every year I pick a New Years swear word and couldn’t decide on one this year. It’s ‘cocksuckimg’ for the win!

  • This is just another example of people thinking that they can get away with anything because every time someone confronts them about it they shout them down. You can’t have a possible 25 year affair without somebody figuring it out. Pox on both of them……and Toobin too! And that Watters guy on Fox. And that Hegseth at Fox. Damn! The media is rife with them!

  • This hurt. My ex also had a “close”, “professional” relationship with single woman. They were equals at work though.

    Years of conventions, distant closings, meetings. Staying up all night “working” in one of their rooms. Stupid me even suggesting one of them take a suite so they would have more room to work.
    Built a huge double office with its own bathroom when they opened their own business with other friends. No one else asked for a double office.
    Dropping her off at her place while driving home from work. Hey, she didn’t drive.
    Vacations with my family.
    Attending lifecycle events together with me and my kids.

    People thought it was strange but I assured them that it was totally professional and they shouldn’t be judged just because they were different sexes. I never thought twice about it.

    Live and learn. The shame is on them for hurting people that loved them, especially his kids and his wife who adored him.

    Made me feel better that their secretary (shared of course) wondered but could never find enough proof to call me. She would have for sure.

    They are still together 15 years post DDay. Their business failed and they have worked together at 5 different places since then. They are not “public” and it’s amazing how many people hire them knowing that.

    They have all the outer trappings of success but I know he is one very unhappy fuckwit. The price of breeding with them and then their kids breeding is that you never really get rid of them. But I put my foot down with her – she cannot come to anything EVER.

    • My good friend is in a similar situation. Both her husband and his AP are “consultants” for the same company. They would travel and work together on their consulting gigs, while my friend stayed home to run the house and care for their 5 kids. It turns out, hubby was in a long term affair with his work partner. Being a consultant who had frequent out of town work trips was a perfect cover for their affair. My friend never suspected, since the AP was friendly with her, and had even been to dinner in their home.

      The betrayal from these low lifes knows no bounds. They have no shame.

      • I am sorry for your friend. It is a special level of betrayal revolving around “Duper’s Delight “ when your spouse isn’t content with merely cheating, but feels the need to bring that person into your home. I have no words to describe how much this causes me to distrust not only him but everyone around me.

        • Yeah, I agree.

          Whore apologists can kiss my ass. When that whore sit her nasty ass on my couch, and in my home she has just proved she is the lowest of the low. I don’t care how much the whoremonger wanted her there, she should have had a an ounce of self respect and said, no.

          When they do that they are both getting a thrill from it. These are sick people. Both the adulterer, and their adultery partner.

    • Yes. Same. Except he didn’t leave me for her. She got sick of waiting, and what she didn’t know was that FW wasn’t leaving me when it was really me and not him who was the one paying for everything. Nope, she moved on and married someone else. FW then moved on to her secretary (which she demanded she have and FW couldn’t say no to that one). It’s all just such a hideous mess of tangled traumas and infidelity gaslighting and lies. He also cheated with another subordinate before either of them, and she threw a fit when her coworker casually mentioned at lunch that she would fuck the boss if she had the chance. OW1 became enraged that her coworker would lay such claim to bossy-poo and demanded that action be taken to protect her. So so so much drama while I was working my ass off and taking care of our baby. The entertainment industry has nothing on the tech industry.

      I read a great book during my Amazon Chump phase about how workplaces have became playgrounds for cheaters – Not Just Friends. I wonder what’s happened during all of the remote work during the last 2 years…..

  • Good morning CN,
    I was indifferent to this bit of news since it sounds like it was “consensual”, but corporate rules are there for a reason and he did the “right” thing. I won’t judge her too harshly since “the boys club” is what it is and I think many women endure a lot worse than she. But, why cancel her? Let her be on the way to meh because her price is herself and that dude. Hooray.
    Have a great week.

    • I’d reckon 99.9 percent of all women work in “boy’s clubs” and only a minority of them sleep with their bosses.

      If this thing has been going on for 20 years, as co-workers allege, this woman has cheated on her husband, hell, moved him ABOVE her affair partners home, and dished out that kind of humiliation and abuse.

      And when you have an affair with the boss, yes, it sets other women back. Professional women who succeed are assumed to have gotten ahead on their knees. This is a long discussion that a comment box won’t cover.

      • So true. How about an NYT editorial: “Sleeping With Your Boss is Sucking the Dick of the Patriarchy.” Followed by, “If You Need to Cheat and Lie to Feel Alive or Get Ahead, Then You’re An Abusive Fuckwit.”

        So many clickbait titles about infidelity are now popping into my head!

      • All I can say is that I sit about 30 feet away from two female colleagues who got their jobs due to their strictly following the Boys’ Club rules. They are both mediocre and I am ashamed to be their colleagues. The other three female colleagues are OK.

      • I’m with CL. I have no political sympathy for patriarchy-bonkers even if I mourn whatever horrors they endured in childhood that made them go belly up. I’m not talking about the Guatemalan cleaning woman with four kids who stays silent about workplace rape to keep from being reported to immigration. I’m talking about the Gollusts and other women with options.

        I started working in media while still in school. I resent many of the peers who threw chum in the water by sleeping with overlords almost as much as I resent the abusers of power. First, these women were horrible to work with and like a lot of people who lack integrity, they tend to preemtively taeget those who seem to have any, probably because they need to believe that integrity can’t succeed ti bolster their own choices as “necessary.”

        And capitulation really does fire up and embolden the pervs. I ended up having to put one boss and one stalking coworker in jail as well as filing and winning a lawsuit. I was always the first who’d ever stood up to these serial creeps. Believe me, no chronic side piece or hustler ever stood up for me or any other woman trying to ward off coercion. Instead they’d circle their wagons around the pervs and attack whistleblowers. I was plagiarized by one and then actually poisoned for reporting another boss.

        Former doorknobs, if they rise at all, tend to end up in HR and graduate to pimp. On more than one occasion, I was set up by women to be targeted.

        There’s a chapter in Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s Gulag Archipelago where he describes how abuses in the work camp were reduced when a group of Ukrainian political prisoners mopped up the camp stoolies and informants. I’ve reread that chapter several times to quell flashbacks about past career politics.

        I’m not suggesting shivving collaborators but it’s the principle that comes across. Yes, workplace sex is political; yes, the abusers of power deserve most of the blame. But culpability is not a finite pie. We don’t reduce the guilt of powerful abusers by giving a serving of responsibility to less poweful enablers.

        • Forgive spelling. I fired autocorrect for censoring my Spoonerisms and I’ve been in denial that I need readers since my last birthday lol.

    • If a person accepts a highly paid professsional position in the public trust, knowing policies surrounding that position, and the person participates in violating those policies, knowing termination is a consequence for violating them, terminating the employee isn’t ‘canceling’ — any more than divorcing a cheater is ‘canceling’ the cheater for a ‘mistake’.

      They are each subject to the organizational policies and they each violated the policies. The fact that they did so with one another isn’t actually relevant. It’s unfair to every other person who has ever been fired from the same organization for violating any policy if they are not both fired.

      Ignorance isn’t an excuse when your job exists at a level that requires you to know and enforce the policies. High pay exists for people at high risk. They each leveraged their risks against their deception skills. They lost the bet. They should go. It’s fair, and they aren’t victims of anything.

      • I agree. She has agency; she made choices. She knew what the policies were and acted herself/supported his actions in spite of that.

      • Yeah, I guess she should resign as well, but maybe my indifference to cancelling Tru Wuv is it just draws attention to them and takes up that precious space meant for meh. I’m only on about Thursday morning but reading the story did bring up some emotions— the shame of betrayal, and I was like “I’m sure glad I’m not that dude.” I can feel meh.

        • XX: I’m not sure you understand it that it was the AP who got canceled not the betrayed wife. Bath the AP and Zucker are no longer at their jobs. They both knowingly and willingly broke the rules. Why would a married AP who fooled around with a married boss not have consequences.

        • Frankly, she should be charged with sexual assault for knowingly exposing his wife to her vaginal fluids without her consent for 20 years. She’s a rapist.

          She got off easy. I hope someday this sick freaks are charged for the sexual abuse they inflict on others.

    • Well, how fantastic that the OW got to be in a consensual relationship with her married boyfriend.
      Too bad her husband and his wife didn’t get to consent to any of it.

      We’re seriously supposed to be happy for an OW and hope she reaches meh? What is she reaching meh from? From abusing her husband and her boyfriend’s wife? I’m sure she’s already there, people who do this don’t have any empathy or guilt to overcome.

  • Ah yes, the old “the news is out now” fall backs: “I’m sorry I didn’t disclose this at the right time” and “I’m sorry I went about this in the wrong way.”

    Noticeably absent: Apologies for the cheating, lying, and trauma.

    Noticeably conspicuous: I’m not sorry for the cheating, lying, and trauma. Just sorry that you found out in a way I couldn’t control or manipulate.

  • Chump Lady, you are one of a kind. The matchstick that led to you being you and writing this blog was a stroke of genius. I’m sorry for all the pain and BS that brought you here, so it feels weird to say I’m thankful, but – no one on earth can do what you do. I read even your most triggering, unsettling and downright sad blogs with at least some degree of joy over what you’re writing, how you’re writing it. Today, I’m downright giddy (which might also have something to do with the fact that it’s a snow day and I’m on the couch with coffee, kittens and a book!). NPR talks about “driveway moments”; for CN, it’s “coffee out the nose moments.”

    Anyway, thanks. You didn’t even have to write anything today: Tony Orlando and Dawn was enough. Truly, I am in awe.

    • Me too, I am in awe of CL! Her snark and genius keep me sane, and laughter is the best medicine.

      PS. UXworld too . . .

    • Indeed, CL fills a void that I bet she didn’t realize she’d be filling long ago. CL, is one of a kind, and she consistently and brilliantly advocates for us chumps.

      Maybe CL will publish another book! A sequel, or prequel. There’s a whole new generation of chumps that are in need of this column, and maybe another book. 🙂

  • The same consequences should apply to all for the same misconduct.

    I own a company I founded with Traitor X and 35K a month gets flushed down the toilet as a direct result of his affairs. That is just one of the literal costs of his conduct and a very expensive shit sandwich I have to eat. I have to eat it for a couple more years.

    The corporate rules exist because there are very real and measurable costs, in addition to the psych/emotional/mental non-measurable costs, when employees fuck around. And you can’t make anyone act with integrity in any circumstances; you can only apply consequences after the fact. Laws have never prevented more crime.

    I should also mention the trust factor….the employees you want to keep around, the ones who have integrity, may not want to work for a hypocrite, a liar, a cheater, a thief…..

    It has been the biggest pain in the ass to
    manage the collateral damage his affairs did to our company, damage I could not imagine until it happened. I am sure some great people quit because of it. They cared about me and bought his Mr. Nice Guy Family Man act….employees want to trust their boss too. If he could fuck over his own family……

    At my company, they’d both get the boot.

    • And I am really pissed I can’t fire him, but I found the mediator who was not just family law but corporate law. His wings got majorly clipped. There are lots of eyes on him now, controls and consequences legally in place, and he doesn’t have the freedoms or carte blanche he did before. What an idiot.

      • #Sometimes… AWWWWW
        OMGoodness Velvet Hammer … Just wanted to commiserate and say awww …. Cannot imagine forking over 35k per month and not firing him … Thank goodness only a couple more years to go … What business industry are you in?

        • Manufacturing industry.

          Traitor X was paying more attention to a cockroach he found on Craigslist, et al., instead of a manufacturing contract he was signing. We invested 2.5M on custom designed equipment to manufacture a part for a Household Name automobile manufacturer. When the Household Name automobile manufacturer cancelled the part, they did not have to reimburse us for the investment we made on the equipment, as it very clearly said in the contract. Which he spaced because his head was somewhere it should not have been. We are making 35K monthly payments on idle useless equipment that cannot be used to make anything else or sold.

          When I say 35K a month is being flushed down the toilet, I am almost speaking literally.

          • As usual, AWWWWW….

            That is terrible!! I cannot imagine…

            I am a business administration degree and custom manufacturing was part of the international business simulations we had to run… I take the Machine couldn’t be retrofitted for anything else? and your paying a loan for that money…

            This reminds me of Job:
            Would that my anguish were weighed,
            laid on a scale together with the disaster I’ve suffered!
            For there is not enough sand in the seas to outweigh it!

            How many years left to pay off the machine? I take it also that you cannot scrap it for money either or try to sell it to someone else?

            To Conclude: AWWWW … Bring on the HAMMER I SAY!!!

  • My sister had an affair with her boss, 25 years her senior. It was revealed and he was asked to resign. His wife quietly divorced him and he married her. His grown children had to eat that sandwich or lose their dad. The spin was he and his wife grew apart. That happens when you have an affair. She latter had numerous affairs because he became old. He stayed to save face after losing soo much. She stayed because he had a great pension and she traded on his name to advance her career. They told the world it was a special one of a kind love, perfect in all ways. He died two years ago, his first family , who played nice for 23 years, walked away. She was shocked, they didn’t adore her. Especially since they were the same age group. Two older and two younger. They never had remorse or shame, only entitlement.

  • I worked at CNN in Atlanta for almost 15 years. I swear I had PTSD from all the sexual harassment and misogyny. Yes, I did complain, and yes, they did put it in my file and supposedly spoke to all the offenders… but it didn’t make a big difference.
    Once I rose up in the ranks things did get better, but I was witness to those with power getting away with so much.
    I chalked this all up to what my mother warned me about and tried my best to make sure my staff were protected.
    That Zucker is only resigning now doesn’t suprise me at all.

    • I was pink slipped shortly after refusing a late night dinner with the 30-years-my-senior president of my division on a business trip. It was a group trip, and only I was invited.

      I knew at the time I would likely lose my job at this multi-billion dollar company if I refused. I seriously considered going and using my wiles to excuse myself quickly after dinner, but I knew in my heart that no amount of showering would have made me feel clean if I had gone.

      I can’t tell you how many job interviews (with men) I went on that were indistinguishable from dates. If an older man wants to interview you over coffee or lunch instead of in the office they are just scheduling dates and hoping some young thing will bite.

      Thank god I’ve aged out of that nonsense.

      • “Thank god I’ve aged out of that nonsense.”

        I call it freedom 55. Not only do they stop harassing, nobody chides you for not wearing “sexy” outfits or makeup. It’s true that you become more or less invisible to most men, but in my book that’s a good thing.

        • No doubt! It’s so nice to be just a person rather than a potential fuck object. I don’t mind being pretty much invisible if those are my only choices.

          When will this world ever start seeing girls and women as people instead of targets?

          • “When will this world ever start seeing girls and women as people instead of targets?”

            Sadly, I’m thinking that will never happen. What with the proliferation of online porn, sexual objectification is only getting worse. Sex trafficking has exploded accordingly.

  • My ex was the CEO and co-worker was called Alison. They went on clandestine work trips away whilst I was looking after our two children at home. He said she made a play for him! 12 months later she had another affair with another co worker. I guess it was a case of keep it in the firm!

  • I was a first level manager at a big company (just call it HAL) and there was a fellow manager and we both worked for the same 2nd level. Me (female) and this manager (male) worked together on a lot of things that would mutually benefit those who worked for us — getting them promotions and juicy positions.

    It seemed only natural that when I heard a rumor that he and a subordinate were having an affair that I tell him about the rumors. In HAL rumors could be career killers. The rumor concerned a woman with 4 children under the age of 6.

    His response was to thank me.

    Sometime shortly after, the two of us were both working on a Saturday. The subordinate came in and began screaming and shouting at him and ended with sobbing. I left quietly.

    The following Monday she was transferred to another second line manager. The following year he got a promotion and kept getting promotions until he was director of the line of business in Japan.

    No matter where he worked and no matter he was married multiple times, he was rumored to be having an affair with someone he worked with.

    Me? I was left with an unsettling memory of aiding and abetting an asshole.

    • I’m so grateful to the anonymous workplace whistleblower who sent me the smoking gun emails through a dummy account with the help of her boyfriend. But that good turn also gives me pangs of guilt over the two times I didn’t do the same when I was starting my career (though someone else eventually did report the affairs). Third time’s the charm. I dropped a dime on a workplace extramarital affair, quit and took the betrayed wife for coffee.

      If Karma exists, it returned the favor to me. But I don’t really believe in Karma. My whistleblower just really hated the AP who was apparently the suck-up/slap-down type and not a real friend to other women. Whatever the MO, I appreciated getting the truth at last.

      The whistleblower occasionally sent me updates for a time on her experiences since we bonded over discussing gender and sexual politics. Even if it kind of scuttled my gray rock a little to be reminded, I felt like I owed the whistleblower an ear to bend and a bit of support as she wended her way through the same kinds of professional minefields I had to navigate at the same age. Last I heard, the AP tried to image spin after the affair was exposed by jumping on the boards of every feministy-sounding professional association. But apparently she notably won’t discuss sexual abuses of power in the workplace so she’s essentially become a tool to censor victims in the wake of #MeToo, which hit that profession like a cluster bomb.

      It makes me think of the study which found a correlation between “rape myth acceptance” and “infidelity tolerance.”

      Interesting as that bit of news was, after that I asked my Deep Throat not to feed my morbid curiousity and skein untangling. Schadenfreude just keeps repeating and gets boring after awhile. Trust they suck and that they suck in every possible way and will continue to suck as long as they draw breath.

      • I read that study and was not at all surprised. Shitty people cheat. Shitty people also believe rape myths. I suppose you could correlate cheating with racism, too, or any other signifier of shittiness.
        We already know it correlates to domestic abuse.

        • Interesting. That racism, sexism, domestic violence, and cheating would be bed partners makes a lot of sense. What’s the common denominator? Entitlement.

        • I learned as a victims’ advocate that virtualy all violent domestic abusers cheat. It’s a lower effort means of achieving the same goal, which is to paralyze prey and take control.

          Creeps are creeps are creeps.

          Come to think of it, the AP–who was also cheating on a long term relationship– was a fan of really gruesomely violent, rapey and pornographic crime pulp fiction.

      • I wish someone had outed my fw to me. Even anonymously. I might not have believed it at first, but it would have put doubt in my head, and I would have found out sooner.

        • Well, other than wishing that no one ever had to go through this, I wish all chumps would get the incontrovertable evidence sooner rather than later. Nothing was worse than the gaslighting..

          • Agreed, HoaC!

            Gaslighting is the worst of the whole chump experience. It takes ages to rebuild confidence on your own apprehention of reality. My therapist pointed out to me just today how much progress I have made in this endeavour along the last year and a half. It’s like a brain scar and healing from this is a life long pursuing.

      • I reported an affair between a managing partner of a law firm and a trainee. Both married. He had young twins, she was in ivf. I became aware of the affair shortly after joining. Three of us newbies could see what was going on, not least because I walked in on him chasing her round the office at 8am, him bare chested and her waving his shirt in her hand. All the existing staff were in on it: another trainee was the keeper of their love letters. Following my report he came into my room, punching the half open door with his fist. He was very angry. He shouted at me ‘it’s not as if you’re some blonde bimbo!’ I never understood what he meant by that. Anyway, us three newbies lost our jobs. The management board supported him, he went into therapy for ‘sex addiction’ and was moved to another office. Alongside my marriage this was one of the most horrifically toxic experiences of my life. Little did I know that the then boyfriend, now ex, was continuing to play with his exgfOW behind my and her fiancé’s backs. If I had known I would have left him then and saved 24 years of wasted married life! I don’t believe in karma.

  • Ahh, yes. Brings back quite the memories. My X was his AP’s boss as well. They both worked for a religious school of higher ed, and he brought her in from a remote office to be 15ft away. I found the text and phone evidence a few months before he was asked to leave. She retained her job as well. How lucky was I to have a Jesus cheater and a workplace volunteer? I moved on to the land of meh, and it is a wonderful place to reside! To any newbies reading along, it will get better!

  • Reading the NY Times last night, the majority of comments by readers centered on “what’s the problem, these are two consenting adults who are divorced”. Granted, the NY Times article did not go into any of the details that the tabloids did so in all fairness, those readers didn’t have the entire story.

    But what’s confounding is the lack of understanding that the reason for resignation was for not disclosing the relationship (and it follows that Gollust should be out for not disclosing). It doesn’t take much common sense to understand the advantages she had when someone up the power ladder was looking out for her. And that someone else was losing out in their career.

    SMH . . .

  • I just was struck by the number of cheaters named “Jeff.” What’s up with that? Jeff Zucker. Jeffery Toobin. Jeffery Epstein. They give the good Jeffs a bad name.

  • The same week our divorce was final, Ex and his subordinate schoompie, the one he was so proud of hiring and who had moved her husband and kids cross country, were called into the big boss’s office and fired, one after the other after a member of his team reported them. Earlier in the year I had warned him that his team knew all about the relationship because one of his former employees ended up working at another company where a good friend of mine worked.

    Both cheaters were denied unemployment upon initial application and appeal. Neither apologized for their behavior. Ex even took me back to court to terminate his child support after making ONE payment for his 3 kids, despite having received an inheritance AND taken all the cash assets from our marital estate. The judge didn’t agree with him and cited his own poor judgement (he was in HR) and bad behavior as the cause of his firing. He was ordered to pay 4 months of back child support and the full amount going forward.

    Every now and then I re-read the transcript from the court proceeding and chuckle where the judge issues his beat down. Ex would tell the kids that his boss had no right to fire him. I would tell the kids the boss had the right and responsibility to rid the company of bad behavior so he did. And that it was supported by a judge. In court. I’m sure Ex still feels he was wrongly terminated.

    • ” were called into the big boss’s office and fired, ”

      Best laid plans of whores and man are soon…

      Well, anyway I love it when they get their due.

    • I wonder if the “big boss” was waiting for the divorce to be final to protect you financially? I’d like to believe it is the case.

      Either way, it’s nice to hear a story of someone/some company doing the right thing.

  • It’s a vastly deep cavern and ingrained patriarchy of abuse up and down our society on every strata. Something has to change. Maybe CN is an incubator for change.

    The RIC complex is also full of patriarchy. My latest and LAST counseling session was yesterday when my male counselor asked me why I keep wallowing in my husband’s betrayal. Felt like a slap in the face.

    • Ew. Time for a new therapist. Mine encourages me to move through the grieving process, since I tend to soldier on and minimize things.

      “Feel that. Grieve your loss. Acknowledge it. Sit with it” are all things she says to me on a weekly basis.

    • Oh yeah, to be hurt by the therapist when you’re asking for help is awful. I just fired mine for a similar reason. “Infidelity happens for many reasons, and it’s not always abuse” was his line. Yeah let’s go over the cheater’s justifications for why he did it and why they make him a special timid forest creature, sure, this sounds like a healthy use of everyone’s time that won’t convince a narcissist that he’s as perfect and special as he always thought he was. I probably would have gone through with it, if it weren’t for finding CL & CN.

  • For those who cherish the karma bus, this is a sweet turn of events. But note how many years it took for the bus to arrive at the bus station…

  • Yes, I was in a male-dominated field, and the workplace affairs did not make for a good work environment. I even left a job once because the affair partner hated me, and she started getting all of the plum assignments and making sure that I was left with the junk. His superiors knew about the affair and told me that they found it unprofessional, but I don’t think they ever raised the issue with him. When I got another job lined up, I was blunt about why I was leaving with his boss. That boss apparently read him the riot act after I was gone, and ultimately my former boss found another job himself.

    Some years later, my former boss called me, wanting to hire me for a high-level position that he had in his new office. As soon as he said “all is forgiven,” I knew that I had to say no. My “sin” was that I left a situation that HE made without considering the consequences in the office. No way would I ever work for him again. A friend of mine who knew my former boss called me not long after that, saying that my former boss had sold me to his superiors as the perfect candidate and someone that would be thrilled to work for him. So egg on my former boss’ face because I refused the offer. My friend said if I had agreed, he would have talked me down until I said no because nothing had changed. Apparently my old boss had a new girlfriend in the office and…

  • Allison Gollust, the adulterer, should be out of a job with her lowlife cheating boyfriend.
    I think of these cheaters and how their cheating is only the tip of the iceberg of how they are continually abusing ppl that love them and there is nothing in this world okay with that.
    It is frustrating to see ppl with such superficial lives and zero moral integrity get to roles of the most admired in our society, time and time again. It’s like the norm. Unless they are actively destroying you, they usually can pass under the radar of accountability. They are just admired, worshipped and loved. If they get caught, they can reinvent themselves, move on to a whole new group of people to screw over and begin again.
    It seems impossible to achieve high level career success without snuffing out the light on at least one person in your warped, but undetected orbit.
    25 years later Jeff and Allison get caught, after all the damage they’ve done, the shame is that they weren’t caught any earlier so the consequences of losing your job would be real.
    Kind of like a murder case that someone spends 30 years in jail for committing the crime and it’s finally DNA proven they’re innocent.
    Sure doesn’t feel like justice was served freeing them to me. They lost everything!
    That is not fixable!
    It’s the reason I can’t support capital punishment, I don’t trust the fairness of the system we have in place.
    For 25 years Jeff and Allison got to play their high stakes, exciting, look how skilled we are to fool everyone cheater games, destroying their families and spouses and then get to take their tens of millions and go hang out on their yacht. That’s not any consequence.
    No, doesn’t feel like any degree of Karma to me. It always feels like they win on some level. People say they get karma because they are stuck with themselves. Well, they are enamored with themselves, they don’t have a conscious to feel any regret for the destructed swath of earth they incinerated. They don’t care enough to suffer from it.
    I wish cheating was a criminal offense sometimes, just lock these fools up so they don’t get to keep hurting on and on like they are bound to do forever.
    Sure feels like it should be criminal.

    • “It’s the reason I can’t support capital punishment, I don’t trust the fairness of the system we have in place.”

      Amen. It isn’t fair by any means. In fact, stas show that people of color are more likely to get the death penalty for the same crimes which whites get lesser sentences for. False convictions aren’t as rare as people think, either.
      I would imagine the same double standard applies to punishment for workplace shenanigans.

  • This stuff exists at a more pathetic level as well- losers fucking not to get a good job or to get ahead, but just to stay employed.
    My fw’s AP fucked anything that would have her at work, perhaps thinking she could get some sort of career advancement out of it. Unfortunately for her, it’s a government department where you can move laterally, but the only way you can move up a level is by writing a test to prove your knowledge. So she’s been stuck at the same level for a long time.
    She used to get fw to help her with her work, because she’s stupid, lazy and drinks on the job. She got drunk one day and made a mistake that could have cost millions of dollars if fw had not fixed it for her. She was then turfed off to another department and no doubt she has another guy doing her work for her now. I imagine this sort of thing is more common than we realize. It would be nice if every workplace was a meritocracy, but that will never happen.

    • “This stuff exists at a more pathetic level as well- losers fucking not to get a good job or to get ahead, but just to stay employed.”

      Yep, my fw got his fuckbuddy hired as his direct report. Neither of them told the brass that they were in an illicit relationship. Of course she would have never been hired had they known. Or he would have been removed as her boss.

      Then he went on a couple years later to petition for a raise for her. Still never revealing their relationship. I imagine he fucked her on the job, off the job in dog pens and desks. Quite a time they had. Until someone filed an ethics report against him and the house of cards came tumbling down.

        • Yes, I was just throwing that in as a joke, but heck who knows with some of the low life’s. There was a pretty nice office attached to the kennels, so I am sure they used that more than once.

          Note: She was the animal control officer (no police powers) and he was her supervisor (full police powers). So I have scattered quite a few “dog” jokes through my posts.

  • My EX’s OW was his trainee. When things at work got uncomfortable for them (since I worked there too), he got another job and then got OW hired (in his department, though I don’t know exactly as what) without revealing to HR that they were in a relationship. She ended up leaving him and becoming a no call/no show to the job, which embarrassed him to his management, since I’m sure he hyped up OW to them. Apparently her position was created for her, since she didn’t qualify for the job she applied for. EX used to try an make me feel bad because his OW had “ambition” and I didn’t. When she left him, she left an office job with great benefits and became a barista in a coffee shop. So ambitious.

  • I love how society (not CL or Chump Nation, we “get it”) thinks the awful part is that these two lovebirds didn’t disclose their affair to their jobs. Zucker’s wife, and children; and, Gollust’s husband and children – the real victims are ignored by the employer and media. When my ex cheated on me, over and over, I used to marvel that there was no law against the angst that he caused me and our children. It felt like emotional torture. But, Gawd Forbid, if the cheater breaks a contractual agreement with their employers, now it’s suddenly wrong and all over the news. CNN will be fine, but the emotional scars and trauma caused by the betrayal of these two idiots may spill into the children’s lives, forever; and rock the confidence, sanity, trust, of the victimized spouses.

  • Unfortunately (for her, ultimately), my FW XW WAS the workplace whore (sorry, schmoopie doesn’t do justice to her assholery in my mind). She was starry-eyed when her AP came into the position of Chancellor of our small state’s college system in 2015 (he was formerly a bigwig politician in our state, best buds w/the now former governor, an asshole, who divorced his wife after probably having a long-term affair w/his current wife, a woman 30+ years younger than him. But I digress). She knew her AP’s wife was trying to be the marriage police in their relationship, but hey, that just meant his now XW was a controlling bitch, right? It had nothing
    to do w/the fact that this asshole (the FW XW’s now new hubby🤢🤮) was fucking around on his XW in a FORTY year marriage.

    Anyway, my FW XW coveted his Maine island home (she showed me pictures of it, again, starry-eyed), and I’m sure his millions of dollars (I wonder how their current pre-nup was worded?🤣), to say the least. This highly intelligent, yet morally-challenged narcissistic woman swept all that care for another woman’s husband aside because I’m sure it was twu wuv. What they had (her AP and his now XW) and what we had might have been twu wuv at one time, but unknown to many of us (not them, of course), twu wuv does have an expiration date. Contrary to how it may sound.🙄

    When I finally confronted her about her months of coldness towards me and she admitted to their affair and that she was in love w/him, the work breakdown started. She couldn’t understand why coworkers were acting strange towards her. I mean, this was TWU WUV! Everybody had to understand that, right?! So what if she abandoned her loyal, caring husband of almost 25 years, and her family w/him of three kids? So what if she was eye-fucking then actually fucking her boss for his assets? Don’t people understand?

    No. They didn’t understand. So they fired her ass, ruining our chances of providing our children w/a nearly no debt college education. But hey, they had decided awhile before all this that she would take the fall for the two of them. So, it was ok! Still, did everyone have to be so weird about it at her work?

    Yeah, this is pretty much what she related to me after she left me, and that I figured out, too. Creepy? Well, yes, I can see that. But the thing that stuck in my mind was how clueless and uncaring she was ultimately. What a fuckwit. And to a good extent, a whore w/her eye on her payoff (I know anyone can be a whore, not just women. I’ve just come to realize how much of her makeup is her willingness to abandon morals for the pursuit of material things. And of course, to make herself happy, at great cost to those that are supposed to be near and dear to her).

    I’m so glad I’m out of her life, and she mine. It’s a lot simpler on my side now. And that gives me a good amount of peace. I’m not at meh yet (obviously), but I’m getting there. Two more years till our son turns 18. I’ll miss my little boy once he’s semi-officially grown up, but it will continue to simplify my life by allowing me even less interaction w/the FW XW (I sincerely hope it will; please, please, please, please, please). And I’m in hard grey rock w/her now, so I have very little interaction w/her as it is.

    Wishing all of us meh and that Tuesday comes sooner rather than later. Love to you all. Stay strong.

    • “a whore w/her eye on her payoff ”

      I have said it before and I stand by it, there are two kinds of whores Professional/amateur. They all get paid. Whether it is money, status, gifts etc, or just plain sexual relief, they get paid.

      Most of us if we look closely at financials will discover lots of funds transferred to the whore(s).

      And yes whores come in all sexes.

      • Note: I am talking of whores who have agency.

        Obviously those who are being trafficked against their will, or minors/anyone who does not have personal agency, are not included.

      • “Most of us if we look closely at financials will discover lots of funds transferred to the whore(s). And yes whores come in all sexes.”

        I have strong reasons to suspect the male whore my FW XW blew up our family with got the money for a new van from her.

        The hole she dug in our finances is the exact size of a van, and he presented himself as an entrepeneur in the transportation bussiness besides being a cop (this combo a huge red flag in Brazil).

        I guess he lured her into some sort of bussiness partnership and pulled the rug from under her feet. My eldest son told me of a screaming videocall between the two fuckwits, full of insults, and what caught his attention was that she called the XAP a “manipulator of women” (he asked me what it means, the poor little angel). This Howard Huges of the van bussiness must have pulled this number on some other idiots my FW just knew about too little too late.

        Also I found that she made her bank issue a credit card in his name attached to her checking account. This hit me as a punch straight to the solar plexus; the guy was notorious for financial imbrogli. At several points of our 20 years marriage she would come to me in panic asking for help with her (ours, as per the law of communicating vessels) always tumultuous financial situation. After solving it (sometimes at the cost of running debt myself), I would suggest we had a joint bank account in order to enjoy more benefits from the bank and so that we could both manage the family incomes together. This mere suggestion was everytime met with the utmost indignation, as if I was trying to control her – or even worse, grift her. Then all of a sudden I discover her finances were entangled with those of a known grifter.

        I also found many, many money transfers between the two of them.

        All this while past due tuition fees for our sons’ schools were piling up unbeknownst to me (by the time the shit hit the fan, I had the shocking surprise that we owed our sons’ schools 6k US dollars worth of tuition fees).

        So, you’re right on the money, Susie Lee, as always.

    • “Wishing all of us meh and that Tuesday comes sooner rather than later. Love to you all. Stay strong.”

      Thank you, same wishes to you, thelongrun! Hope you enjoy your freedom from FW more each day till Tuesday and the promised land of meh.

  • Absolutely. I am only talking about someone who chooses to be a whore. Not anybody who is forced into the lifestyle. Thank you for reminding me to clarify, Susie Lee! Hope things are going well your way.😊

  • Oh no….I had to smile because her name is Gollust which rhymes to the german word Wollust which means translated lechery, lust,voluptuosness and salaciousness…..

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