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A Busy Week for Jesus Cheaters

Have you guys been following the Jesus cheater news this week? Sunday, the Southern Baptist Convention released an explosive 300-page report on sexual abuse within its ranks. How for years they kept a list of sinister ministers, denied it, and blamed the victims.

And then, this headliner out of Indiana — pastor John Lowe II is confronted by a parishioner, who he began abusing when she was 16, and called it “adultery.”

Which makes a perverse sort of sense given the church’s no-biggie stance on infidelity. Cop to the lesser offense.

The Washington Post reports:

When the woman took the microphone Sunday, she started by saying she had been living in “a prison of lies and shame” for nearly three decades. For years, she said, she blamed herself for the sexual relationship her pastor had initiated. She thought she was a horrible person and considered suicide. She lied to protect Lowe and his family, she said, and so did others: “People knew but were too afraid to come forward.”

“No one ever came to me. No one ever helped me. No one ever got me counseling,” she added.

You can watch the entire confrontation here, caught on a video by a member of the congregation.

Would you be interested to learn that not only was Lowe a sexual predator, he was a big fan of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex? Check out his promo about “marriage encounter” weekends.

This story is creepy on so many levels. Like the icky detail that Lowe liked to give women in the congregation jewelry. Items, which the victim’s husband returned to Lowe, reports the Daily Mail.

He presented a pearl necklace that his wife had been given by the church and a ‘purity ring’ that he said the pastor gave her during their affair.

Nate returned both items and said the pair ‘were not stretching the truth’, but encouraged other women who had been these ‘gifts of the ministry’ to return them too.

Purity ring?! What misogynistic Kay Jeweler gimcrackery is this? Thank you for your virginity. Please enjoy this cubic zirconia piece of shit.

The victim tells him:

‘You did things to to my teenage body that should have never been done. If you can’t admit the truth, you have to answer to God. You are not the victim here.’

Yes. Good for her. She headed that DARVO right off at the pass. You are not the victim here.

Thanks to such bravery, the narrative is changing. There are a bazillion sinister ministers like Lowe, a bunch of them catalogued in a report. It’s a start.

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      I want to put that on a shirt. A pic of Jesus with word balloon, “Fuck that shit!”

  • “If you can’t admit it, you should have to answer to God”…..and maybe a police office as well??

        • Exactly. The age of consent is 17 in Louisiana, but if for example you are a student who is seduced by a teacher, that teacher has committed a felony. The main issue is the obvious unequal power position. That’s the same or worse with a pastor and young girl, IMO.

          • Right. Ministers often act as therapists for their congregants. They may know intimate details of their lives that can lead to very effective coercion.

        • And consent is a particularly tough issue if you belong to a group where the clergy has the final word on everything and there is no person or elected body to call him out on their actions. In some churches/ synagogues/ temples, the minister/ priest/rabbi controls every aspect of the congregation and people find themselves in a situation where it is very hard to say “NO”.

        • I bet it won’t. Having dealt with an ex who takes pictures of children off the internet and exchanges them with other pedophiles saying, “this is my niece, isn’t she hot?” and then they talk of their fantasies about trading their little two to five year old relatives and not only being told I couldn’t do a damn thing about it but also being told I need to shut up about it or I can face charges myself for slander… Well, I don’t think they’ll do a damn thing about him grooming a 15 year old. I used to wonder how all these grown men get away with knocking up teenagers. I don’t wonder anymore, I know the system is broken and the pedophiles are everywhere protecting each other.

          • Have you reported your ex? To be charged with slander the accusations have to be false…if you have proof there is no case. You are correct though, pedophiles are everywhere, are good at their game and hide behind certain groups and organizations. Years ago the snot would have been beat out of them, now they are protected.

            • If I call him a pedophile I can be charged with slander because fantasizing about raping children is not a crime, I can’t prove he’s actually acted on it. I’ve reported him several times to different people and agencies. Nobody gives a shit.

              • ???????????? A pedophile is somebody attracted to whereas a child molester/rapist acts on their fantasies. Yuck all around.

              • Yes, it’s not against the law to be a pedophile in and of itself, so there really is nothing the authorities can do unless he’s committed sexual assaults or produced child pornography.
                One could be sued for slander for accusing somebody of being a pedophile, but if you have evidence the pedophile would likely lose the case. I can’t see a pedo bringing such a case forward and exposing his secret, especially if the accuser has the evidence to back it up.

              • He would 100% drag me into court. He is extremely proud of his lifestyle and has lots of supporters. But pedophile is a bad word that could hurt him and he’s just a sexually free person with an active fantasy life while I’m an evil kink shamer.

                I might win the case in the end, (unless he’s sucking the judge’s dick or sharing one of his adult baby teenage girlfriends with him, and both of those are likely scenarios) but he’d do everything he could to ruin my life throughout the process.

              • He sounds like my ex. I am so sorry. Do you share custody? He may say it’s just kink fantasy, but we know our exes have no boundaries, shame, morality, or empathy.

              • Fortunately our son is an adult and says nothing happened to him although he did see his father watching porn on his phone in the living room while I cooked dinner several times. I was only able to have one child. That used to bother me, now I’m grateful every day we never had a daughter. I’m sorry you deal with one of these too.

        • In a follow up article to the one you provided a link to, a church abuse survivor accurately refers to the Lowe situation as really a “cult” not a church, and says “videos like the one at the Indiana church reveal a “toxic theology” that treats pastors as heroes and uses theatrical acts of confession and forgiveness to cover up pastoral misconduct. She said the video shows no sign that Lowe actually felt any repentance or responsibility.
          “If you were repentant, you would walk yourself to jail,” she said.”

          Watching that video was enraging. It was like watching our own cheaters theatrical performances. But it was also illustrative of so many manipulative techniques of cheaters and abusers, and the general gullibility of people. The faux remorse. The faux submission. The specifics of word choice. The use of triggers and cues. The body language. You could teach a class simply by dissecting it. I could not believe the standing ovation! Or the circle of “prayer” around Lowe at the end! These people do not understand the difference between evil and sin. When good people sin, there is a point to forgiveness. When evil people sin, forgiveness is counterproductive. Only an evil man would accept a standing ovation in response to a “confession”. Only an evil man would return to the stage to confront his victim. Do they not see this? This “church” doesn’t want truth, they want easy sentiment. He gives them that.

          • TKO, you’ve nailed it perfectly. The men circling the pastor (shown on the Facebook video) was revolting.

            The formula: A few “I’ve sinned” words + validation from the congregation = supposed resolution (for years – no – a LIFETIME of trauma for the victim).

            I suppose it’s human nature to want a quick resolution. Offer your “thoughts & prayers” and then, hallelujah!, you can dismiss the situation, and any sense of true & traumatized empathy, from your own life.

          • “When good people sin, there is a point to forgiveness. When evil people sin, forgiveness is counterproductive. Only an evil man would accept a standing ovation in response to a “confession”. Only an evil man would return to the stage to confront his victim. Do they not see this? This “church” doesn’t want truth, they want easy sentiment. He gives them that.”

            Truth. Sadly, this is a pattern in most churches at least to some degree.

      • It is called institutional sexual assult an regardless of the ages of the people involved, there can be no consent when there is an imbalance of power.

      • The low age of consent infuriates me. You can’t drink until 21 in America, or rent a car in many places until you’re 25, because we know your brain’s not fully developed until then. But lawmakers think a literal child can consent to sex with an adult?

  • I only hope that every victim has the courage, strength and support to speak out publicly.
    Shameful, twisted and disgusting behavior buy trusted members of the community.
    Will there ever be an end to all the crazy, entitled “people” in this world?
    Beyond horrible.

  • Who originally decides what the ‘age of consent’ is, in a state? Senators, I guess. Kind of creepy to think of all those (mostly men) saying, “Yeah, let’s have the ‘age of consent’ be sixteen [wink, wink]. Then she consented, right?” I think I’m now going to look up the age of consent for every state, I have the sinking feeling that some are less than age 16.

    • Yes, creepy. And what a surprising coincidence (…cough…cough) that the interests of those making the rules and “what’s healthy social practice” so often coincide.

    • It’s not just men. Women (teenage girls) want to have sex with older men without getting them in trouble. For example, a high school girl having sex with her college age boyfriend. I have seen it way to much. It’s sad that there is so much pressure on teenagers to have sex. For example, In my state they stopped prosecuting teenagers sharing “child” naked teenage pictures because they would have to put a whole high school in jail.

      • Most states have more complicated laws than simple “age of consent” and take into account age differential between the two partners. Regarding sexting there are two problems that I see. The first being pics that were shared with one person consensually then being disseminated without permission, which should absolutely be a crime (regardless of age). The second being that the teenager who took the selfie was being prosecuted for child sex abuse images, which is just insanity.

      • Teenagers want all kinds of things we don’t legally allow them to have or to do. The bottom line is that decent adult men don’t screw teenage girls, even if the teenage girl is nude and begging them for sex. There’s just no excuse for it.

        • OMG! Thank you for writing that! Teenage GIRLS are not women. There is a reason that most states have the Romeo and Juliet laws. Conflating a high school junior having sex with her college freshman or even sophmore BOYfriend is not at all the same as predatory men preying on teenage girls, again, girls, not women.

    • When I looked it up during my divorce, it said that 16 was the most common age of consent in the United States. I know some people got a little high and mighty here when I said my ex could not be prosecuted for having sex with 16 year olds because it’s legal here. I got the whole, “Well, I would never live in some disgusting place where that is legal!” Like I live in a third world country or something. *eyeroll* A lot of people out there live in a place where their husband could screw the neighbor kid and face no charges, they just don’t know it. But the pedos sure know it!

      And yes, I’m totally with you on how creepy it is.

  • Where are all the good guys? The decent men. I know you are out there. These perverted men are trying to fix a problem they made without the moral compass to do it right. Are the good men just as exhausted as the women?

    • I’ve been reading that due to “pornography addiction”, there are higher and higher numbers of pedophiles. The porn addicted have to turn to more extreme porn constantly to keep getting off and that always eventually leads to child porn. They literally make themselves pedophiles. Super fun fact! So there are more of them than ever before.

      That was my ex husband. I don’t think he was always like this but he trained himself to want to fuck children because it was the most taboo thing he could think of. I joined a couple groups for women with “sex addict” spouses and they all eventually become pedophiles. That’s the natural progression. I put sex addict in quotes because I don’t see it as a real addiction, they choose this. They choose to become pedophiles. It’s a choice and they are 100% responsible for that choice.

      I’ll never date a man who uses porn again and I’ve met a lot of women who feel the same way. I used to think that regular, non violent porn wasn’t that big of a deal. I’ve changed my mind. If a man “needs” it he can enjoy his hand and stay the hell away from me. I manage to masturbate without porn just fine to take care of my needs and I’m also a “visual” person so if they can’t do that and need to see exploited women to get off, right off the bat something is wrong with them as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in ever getting pulled down that disgusting slope again.

      • I’ll never again date a man who watches porn either. Gail Dines writes extensively to how harmful the porn industry is and how it’s in bed with the human trafficking industry. It’s commodified rape onscreen.

        Unfortunately most men I’ve tried explaining this to made it clear they don’t care until porn starts affecting their dicks.

        • Yes, my FW was ruined by porn. He actually used to be a fairly normal person, but long term porn use made him a raging, hate-filled, degenerate monster. It got so I could tell how often he was using it by how angry and abusive he was.
          But our current sick “kink positive ” culture insists porn is harmless and even beneficial.
          As the anti-porn writer Robert Jensen once said; I don’t want to live in this world. ????

          • “Kink culture” itself is harmful. If you get off on choking and gang raping women, even “just play acting”, there’s something with you – and no, I don’t care if that statement offends anybody.

      • I’m with you about “sex addiction.” It’s a cash cow concept for CSAT and RIC therapists but don’t buy it. It’s like calling domestic violence “punching addiction.” So why don’t most domestic batterers also punch their bosses and armed cops? Why aren’t they holed up in gyms or meat lockers hammering the pig skin or sides of beef? I think it’s something a lot darker than “addiction” and, to me, sexual betrayal/abuse/compulsivity bears too many overlaps with domestic battery. Bottles and pills don’t cry out in pain when consumed but people do. Maybe drug addicts eventually chemically kill their capacity for empathy and are numb to the pain they cause others but sexual abusers/betrayers come out of the gate like this and merely grow worse.

        Most porn presentations are degrading and the element of consent is questionable considering the conditions that most porn performers endure. I think humans have an innate intuition from infancy about the relative happiness or misery of human beings they encounter, even in photos or videos. In other words, what’s required to view a lot of this material is numbness to emotional cues and subtext. To keep consuming it requires further numbing. But studies have shown that not all men are drawn to this material. With the advent of streaming porn and kids as young as nine getting hooked, I think some can be viewed as victims of sorts, like boy soldiers in the Congo who are systematically violentized at young ages. But once they grow into adult abusers, all sympathy for their plights should dissipate. If anything, all sympathy should be reserved for kids before they’re completely “turned” and the focus should be on keeping this material away from the very young. I’m all for free speech, even that which I disapprove of, but there should be age limits. For one it might spare entire generations from the epidemic of porn-induced ED.

        Anyway, as far as I’m concerned just because something progresses doesn’t mean it qualifies as addiction. Another type of compulsive behavior that progresses to a taste for more and more violence and degradation is serial murder but we don’t call this “killing addiction.” Calling it addiction is a euphemism and paints the perp as a mere victim who can be cured with hugs. Please.

        Like you mentioned, it seems there are two main directions that chronic porn use can go in as users grow numb to same-old/same-old: more violent content or more pedophilic content or both. There are all kinds of fetishes like feet, etc., but the most popular threads are apparently depictions of violence/degradation/pain and child rape.

    • Good men have an obligation to speak the truth about this. If they refuse, that proves they aren’t good men. The only men I will ever trust are men who actively resist rape culture and hold abusive men accountable.
      Those men at the church, group hugging the creep? They are not good men. They are scum.

    • She was a stripper, prostitute and had a late term abortion? He was a hit man for his drug dealing brother? I find This a little too much to be believable. But I’m jaded that way

      • Small correction – it states she had a spontaneous abortion/miscarriage at 7 months.

        But yeah, the whole thing reeks of bullshit.

        • As someone who has experienced pregnancy losses, I’m going further correct the terminology used. It’s a miscarriage if the loss was before the 20th week and a stillbirth if it occurs after.

          • I don’t believe her when she states it was at 7 months. I bet it was far earlier but she lied to drum up sympathy and MONEY.

      • Her story is flat out common to me and I grew up in a small, midwestern, very Christian town. Her parents let a family friend molest her when she was four, then she was raped as a teen. I’ll bet the parents blamed her for being raped, maybe she was acting out as many children of sexual abuse do so they thought she asked for it. She turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with it and then ran away from home and became a stripper and prostitute because how else does a homeless kid support herself? Plus she was already gross chewed up bubble gum from being molested and raped so no decent man would ever want her according to that super fun lesson so many churches like to shame young girls with.

        The “late term abortion” was a baby dying in her womb when she was 7 months pregnant. Kind of cold to call that a late term abortion. She didn’t have an abortion and she was devastated about it.

        I could introduce you to half a dozen Debbies from my high school years alone. Two of them managed to put their fathers in prison for the sexual abuse years later, which was great, I was proud of them. Her story is not even slightly unbelievable. It’s the story of so many young girls.

    • My gosh! Those two are all fucked up. They may be victims of their youth, but we can’t keep excusing our actions by blaming it on the shitty things or the shitty people that formed us. When the hell are people going to grow up and take responsibility for their own bad behavior?! This whole thing, and many, many episodes that go on that we don’t know of, are just extremely sad. Unfortunately this kind of ugly stuff has been going on since the beginning of time, and it will probably continue to go on till the end of time. It’s becoming harder to hide, so the perpetrators are getting more savvy about taking it further underground or across borders. It’s my understanding that a lot of people go to many Asian countries where pedophilia of children of age 3 continues because parents sell their children.

    • Lowlifes from wa-a-a-ay back!
      Check out his description of how he helped collect the money for his dealer. No ownership, no agency.

      • He actually looked proud talking about that. His face lit up a little bit. Talking about it makes him feel like a badass.

        • Yeah, that was disgusting. He needs to be prosecuted for shooting up homes and possibly murdering people.

    • The thing that strikes me is that their story was seen only as a strong “testimony” to how “giving your life to Jesus” will magically heal you of … everything. Whether most of their story is true or not (and honestly I hadn’t thought about it – but like others have said, good chance a bunch of this is bullshit), it raised no red flags within the church that these two might be too psychologically damaged to be put in positions of authority and trusted with vulnerable young people.

      Evangelical language about “human brokenness” lumps everything together, from violence and abuse to overwork and overeating to being kind of short-tempered. As if it’s all the same, it’s just all sin and human brokenness, it all arises from separation from Jesus and the cure is simply getting right with God. And so the sexual abuse of a teenage girl becomes simply “adultery.” No doubt this creep was counting on his congregation to blame her for being a temptress and equally at fault.

      This language is wielded by men from the pulpit and by men in positions of church power — and it’s men because these churches bar women from the pulpit and elder boards. Many of these men, as the SBC report reveals, are themselves abusers. How convenient that they can use their bad theology to think of themselves as sinners just like everyone else rather than the predators that they are.

      • Excellent point. “Sinner” is so benign and therefore used instead of “predator”.

        We need another word for “cheater”. It’s quite benign. After all, haven’t we all cheated at some point? I don’t think there’s a kid out there who didn’t cheat (I know I did, when playing a board or card game with my siblings).

        Simple, one word definitions give us happy resolutions and we can all move on.

    • This is all so sad. She was abused and married another abuser. She sees her story as a beautiful Jesus story but all I see is generational trauma and sad choices.

      • That’s exactly how I saw it too. She was prime meat for an abuser to get ahold of and she is with a particularly nasty one.

    • The Lowes just found another legal and socially acceptable way to continue to be the con artists and grifters they are.

    • “John and Debbie decided to devote themselves completely to Jesus Christ. The drugs, alcohol, and adultery stopped.”

      Why do so many people think you can put a Jesus band-aid on an abusive degenerate and presto! change-o! he’s reformed?
      It’s mind boggling.

      I read a story about a Jesus pedo who was so bad he used to gather a bunch of kids in his care in a circle and go around the circle molesting each one.
      His church would forgive every time, allegedly because he would “repent” when he was caught. This went on for decades.

  • Disorganized religion. Jesus never built a church. Neither did that Assisi guy. In fact didn’t Assisi guy give stuff away and lived simply? Soooo, whenever you see a man/woman who is getting rich off their flock you are dealing with an inflated ego. The idea that you can routinely break one of the commandments and then get up and preach and ask for money, and get it, shows just how gullible people can be.
    I love that people are beginning to let the world know what is going on. No more hushing people up. I love the internet for this gift.

    • That Assisi guy certainly did live simply and seems to have displayed truly exemplary character. It is also true that he started a total of four formal religious organizations, though none were churches as such. A mere small factual observation that doesn’t isn’t invalidate your main point.

    • “That Assisi guy” made me smile. The Franciscan order evolved from St Francis of Assisi. They take a vow of poverty, obedience and chastity. They reject living extravagantly. The Sister’s of Charity also live simply to serve. They run a small house in Memphis where they take in single mothers and help them get back on there feet. It is humbling to see how these sisters live to help others. It is sad that the great deeds of these selfless people get overshadowed by people doing bad things in Gods name

  • Ministers are not the only Jesus cheaters, either. There are plenty of FWs who try to justify their affairs claiming that G-d brought Schmoopie to them. They apparently never read the Ten Commandments. G-d is not in favor of adultery. They are confusing G-d with their genitalia. And honestly, that is probably why they are FWs.

    Klootzak is not religious at all and I have seen him squirm and stare at his phone when I have read our child’s reconciliation book with our child. Kiddo requests that I read it with him at bedtime and I don’t mind. Let’s read the Thou Shalt Not Lie and Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery a little more, shall we? Kiddo’s little book speaks a lot about empathy and becoming the best version of yourself. I have had good experiences with my religion though I am no Bible thumper. It has its limits. But clearly, Jesus doesn’t encourage cheating. That seems pretty clear.

    • What is one of the most disgusting things about this is the fact that Lowe kept calling it adultery. He knows perfectly well that it’s not adultery, but to call it something different would be to reveal his even uglier character. I don’t care if the age of consent is 16. A 16-year-old who is being preyed upon by her pastor, an adult, is being groomed. It’s called pedophilia. It’s just very, very sad.

      • There was a gallows humor video in circulation that mimicked a word pronunciation tutorial where the word “HEBOPHILE” appears on the screen but the professional-sounding voice-over keeps carefully enunciating “PED-O-PHILE.”

    • FW!!!! I have told the story too many times so I will spare all of you and just say she did bad things at the church.

  • Hypocrites. Child rapists. He probably stole from the church coffers too. I hope he ends up someone’s “bitch” in prison and experiences a fraction of the agony his victims have suffered. Buh-bye satan’s spawn.

  • I’m waiting for the definitive psychosociobiological explanation for the link between sex and religion. It’s so pervasive, and has been throughout history, as to be almost a law of human behavior.

    • It’s the MO of predators. To hide behind the unquestionable guise of purity and goodness, sacrifice, service and caring to the community. That’s a great place for the snakes of society to hide and be free to pursue their slimy levels of debauchery at great and untold damage to our youth.
      It seems like we should expect it rather than be shocked by it over and over again
      Sandusky at Penn State, the Olympic rape coach Nassar, the under aged sexual abuse cases of more than 10,000 ppl by over 4000 priests, the over 92,000 sexual abuse claims and the $2.7 billion abuse settlement in the Boy Scouts of America scandal, the neighbors that raped our children babysitting that we find out a lifetime later after they have such countless life problems and never do get an equal chance as others at a rich and fulfilling life. ( that happened to my brother who is mid 60’s and I only found out about it last year, but he’s been riddled with anxiety and depressing his entire life, who knows how much related to an 8 year old never being able to fully trust anyone)
      It’s such an ubiquitous problem and I doubt fixable at all. I guess we need to question every possible thing in our lives and honestly never fully trust anything.
      We can go on and on all day long and we don’t even know the half of it and the impact on generations of lives affected by these selfish and sick monsters. The depraved are in every nook and cranny we can even imagine, right down to the ‘great’ spouse who sleeps with us for sometimes decades in our beds. Abusers are everywhere.

      • I think the same things. What I believe might protect a bit against generalized cynicism and despairing of the whole human race is understanding the MO of abusers just as you’re talking about. The more specific we can get in recognizing the telltale signs of abusers of power, the more we can scrape every last one of these creeps and all creep minions out of our personal lives, the less generalized that despair may become.

        A Holocaust survivor quoted by Primo Levi apparently said that “Ten percent of people are always merciful. Ten percent are always cruel. The remaining 80% can go either way.” Life for me, my kids and many of my experienced friends has sort of become about the hunt for that merciful 10%. It’s what makes the rest of life so much richer. One friend joked that we go out like cavemen with little clubs to konk the good ones on the heads and drag them back to our lairs.

        • After being chumped by who I thought was the most intrinsically good person in the world, I believe that everyone is capable of bad things. I see every relationship going forward as a ticking clock where I will be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Being chumped has distorted my view of the world.

          • Dr. Chump,

            I’ve had to majorly overhaul my picker. I can’t believe I used to think certain personality types and traits were charming or interesting– things that now give me hives. It’s a process. Ouch.

    • I just wrote a thing about it above regarding Earnest Becker’s theories. According to Becker, shamans from certain tribes traditionally mopped up all the young girls (boys too one might argue) in exchange for their supposedly magical protection of the tribe.

  • And the monkeys formed a prayer circle around…him…because he needed their protection and blessing after his so-called confession. ????

    I’m a Hoosier and this stuff can’t be made up.

  • “Pray for this body that has been wounded.” I think the speaker, who jumped in to take the mike after the accuser and her husband walked away, is referring to the congregation of the church as the body. Or maybe the pastor. He doesn’t seem to be referring to the woman who was harmed.
    How awful for the woman who was victimized. The pastor speaks first with his very slanted, partial confession and gets applause and presumably forgiveness. The woman makes a statement to clarify that this wasn’t an affair, it was non-consensual sexual exploitation and abuse of a minor–even if the age of consent was 16, she was still a minor. And this was her pastor.
    The congregation seems stunned as she walks away, and one woman hugs her, then they–primarily men– swarm to embrace and support the abuser, not the victim. I’m so glad someone present caught this on video. I wonder how many of those men have done the same, and perhaps with the pastor’s knowledge.
    I couldn’t help noticing that the victim wanted to say more, but her husband cut her off, more than once.
    I can’t access the Washington Post story. Does anyone know why her brother came forward to her after all this time?

  • Apparently the family that preys together stays together. The pastor’s son is also a pastor at that church, and also preyed on a least ne child, admitting in 2006 to sexually abusing a young child while babysitting. The abuse was reported in the church at the time, the son confessed, and Predator Lowe–excuse me, Pastor Lowe–said he’d take care of it.

    Taking care of it apparently meant allowing the son to remain as a caregiver for the church’s children onsite at the church, while badmouthing the child and her parents.

    • OMG. Horrifying that it happened and horrifying that this abuse always follows the same damn pattern. Report abuse to your church, leadership minimizes it and makes you and your family an outcast, abuse continues with other victims as the church congratulates itself on BRANGING SOULS TO JAYSUS, abuse goes public years later and church comforts … the ABUSER.

      I’m a person of faith saying this. Although not sure I’ll ever join a church again.

    • So, the pastor and his wife were accessories after the fact and committed slander against the victim and her family. I don’t know what the state laws are, but probably it’s too late to charge the molester or his parents or for the victim and her family to sue. Unfortunately.

      However, since the Internet is forever, this will follow them for the rest of their lives. It’s not the punishment they should get, but it’s something.

  • Also, it was announced that Josh Duggar is going to be put away for a while. Finally, a bit of justice on that one.

    I am still a practicing churchgoer along with one of my adult children, but I’m certainly jaded after these things and what I went through. One of my ex’s tools was religious guilt because he was supposedly more in tune than I was. I now think that preaching and church leadership can indeed be a front for truly horrible behavior. Because of some deep lack, they think they can get away with it and put on a good show for all to see. Julie Roys has some interesting pieces on this.

    Thanks, I’ll just go on with my ordinary life.

    • I’m so glad he’s finally going to prison. It took way too long and way too many victims though. And he’s still grinning like an asshole in the photos. He doesn’t care. He’ll just start right back up when he gets out. It’s disgusting.

    • Duggar did not get a long-enough sentence IMO. But at least it is something after ALL these years. His family should not have tried to protect him and deal with things themselves when he was first found to be a predator.

  • the victim has done a great job of uncovering what is likely a whole group of fellow victims. they’ll come forward now and, hopefully, heal. the system change in the church is neither here nor there, in my mind–it’s the victims that i focus on.

    poor kid(s).

  • Long story short, while I was divorcing my X, I was living in a very remote community only accessible by plane or boat. We had a small plane flight company that regularly serviced our village. One of the pilots, an extremely tall, dark and handsome X Airforce Lt. Col, Upstanding Proud Husband and Father, and Servant of God was very friendly with me and under the guise of “helping me during a difficult situation” was actually trying to get into my pants. I rebuffed his attentions, to his disappointment. Not long after that he quit his job as a pilot and is now a Youth Minister at a Mega Church. Uh huh. I wouldn’t let a teenage girl near him with a 10 ft pole.

  • No offense intended to the faithful in Chump Nation, but I take special delight in skewering Jesus Cheaters.

    (music by Garth Brooks, lyrics by all those especially appalled by Jesus Cheaters)

    The whole room seemed chagrined
    He said that he’d sinned
    But didn’t say she was sixteen
    I sat there dismayed
    He dodged and he prayed
    I know his wife was nowhere to be seen

    Then the girl took the stage
    And she vented her rage
    But the pastor just said, “Oh well”
    The crowd remained true
    Said “Brother we’ll see you through”
    Hope the whole damn place goes to hell!

    So I won’t go to Lowe’s parish
    Where the lies are big and the fraud’s garish the whole day long
    Johnny loves his dong
    I’m not one to disparage
    But this fucker’s gall is nightmarish
    Oh, I won’t go to Lowe’s parish

  • Something kept nagging at me and I realized that all of us long for the lightening bolt that will alter everything when in reality it kills people. The cheating, lying man who went into church with a grudge did NOT change. Leopards don’t. He might have been caught up for a while but that creepy side had to come out and it did and wrecked a young girl’s life. I love her husband!

  • I responded to a comment earlier in the thread with this. It looks like the Lowes just found a socially acceptable and legal way to continue being grifters. I am also adding nothing has changed not even the tune to their song, but instead of a street corner hustler and a woman on the pole but the location of the into a church

  • Another false prophet wolf ???? in sheeps clothing. I can’t nor wish to watch this. I was raised in a Southern Baptist culture early exposed to the fire and brimstone mentality of retribution for sin. The Adam-ic “human condition” was attributed for humans continuing to displease GOD. The Old Testament was the old covenant contract and Yeshua could cite it from word, chapter and verse. He also said he said he was the new covenant and fulfilled the old.

    Intellectually I thought there were a lot of holes in the Baptist theology. I sat in an AA speaker meeting one night and heard the female say, “If your higher power is not working for you, Fire the Fucker!” meaning you need a higher power greater than yourself to get sober. I later joined the Episcopal church and spent countless hours studying the Bible including the Apocrypha which is left out of the KJV and many other later translations. Mary scolded a very young Yeshua for making mud pie pigeons and turning them into real ones telling him he shouldn’t do that in public because it would lead to trouble for him. I later came to understand the indwelling spirit that was gifted with a spiritual baptism not a water bath. The internal compass so to speak. That small still voice that is the Holy Ghost. For me it could only be heard when I was still inside and out of my heart and head. Summed up, “Be Still, and know that I am GOD”. Getting still is still my problem in this noisy cacophonous world.

    I can’t go inside this pastors head nor do I wish to. I raised three daughters and shared my experiences with them telling them, “There is a GOD, and you’re not It.” I also told them that sex was not a “dirty thing” ;however, with it came great responsibility. I told them to let me know when they were ready and we’d go get their plumbing checked out and I’d pay for their birth control and condoms. No glove, No Love was my advice. I also advised them that there’s a sort of spiritual exchange that came with sex between partners. They would have to walk that road by themselves to learn about it. That I was no expert on the subject and no subject was off the table if they wanted to openly with me about whatever they were struggling with.

    Religion (a man made creation) said If you even look at the opposite sex with desire that you’ve committed adultery.
    I found that one hard to digest because I did look a lot, still do. If that were true why did I have these tendencies?

    This man will have to carry his sins like a hand cuffed briefcase of nuclear launch codes and he will get payback-eventually. In this world or the next. My take is that the love of money, fame and recognition builds the Entitlement it breeds which in turn produces the justifications + rationalizations for “I’m special” and can do what I want that we see everyday here.

    The damage remains as does the longing for Justice in recompense. “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay”

  • Did Lowe break into the “DEE-LUSION!” sermon from Devil All the Time?

    If anyone hasn’t seen the film, it’s stellar. Once chumped Robert Pattinson’s turn as a Jesus pedo/cheater is hair-raising and nails the sinister minister persona for all time.

  • I started college at a small religion affiliated school. Later in life I worked for 3 different colleges, all with religious affiliation, and a public college. I am here to testify that religion and education are no shield against bad actors. In fact, many will tend to join congregations and institutions where they will claim special religious status which enables their bad actions. God chooses them, evidently, to offer private counseling sessions to the particularly vulnerable prey that exist in these situations. They quote scripture (often out of context) to promote their perverted beliefs about the role of the prey to be submissive, and compliant, and joyful about it.

    I have higher standards for anyone who is in a position of power over the weak and troubled, and young. I am often disappointed. Just because someone is a preacher, teacher, social worker, cop, counselor, scout leader, PTA parent, . . . the list goes on and on . . . does not mean they are trustworthy. It is a sad situation for us all.

    Instead of being a ray of eternal sunshine, I have found myself evolving to be a ray of perpetual suspicion. I don’t particularly like not trusting others, but I find it much safer. I no longer offer any personal information, or accept what people say at face value. I watch their actions, over time, and listen to their jokes and stories. If I spot inconsistencies, I never get closer. I have a small circle of proven friends. My religious beliefs are private. and I don’t like emissaries who want to draw me into the fold.

    These predators exist because we allow them to. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke. If we do not pass laws, and enforce them, to provide severe consequences for evil actions, we are socially doomed. This preacher resigning does not mean much. He will find another congregation who want to believe the 16-year-old was an evil temptress, and his confession has washed him clean of sin. He will be even more powerful to them. Denying reality occurs every day in our culture.

    Sorry, but I don’t have a fix. Just protect yourself by asking “Is this believable or acceptable to me?” and act accordingly. Maybe you will be a little safer.

    • I can’t help gnawing on the fact that FW in my situation was raised by a cultish mother (a “recovering Catholic”) who was a devotee of an ashram that was very trendy with the western bourgeoisie who ignored for decades that the sect was founded by a serial child rapist. When he was a baby, some sub-guru or monk told FW’s mother that he was destined to be some kind of messiah. FW joined this ashram as a teen and grew up believing that deities existed in human form (and I think secretly believed he might be one). His devotion went a bit sour when he was raped as a teen by a family friend who was also a member of the ashram, but he knew better than to tell his mother what had happened since, to her, members of this ashram could do no wrong. They were special and transcendent and she’d already put up a huge wall of denial regarding the leadership of the sect. He did try once as an adult to tell his mother what this abuser had done but she shut down, threw a bully tantrum with tears and trembling (her tactic to keep him from sharing bad news since he was a tot) and exhorted him to “forgive.” So I was struck by the news story covering how some parishioners still gathered around Lowe in support even after the victim had spoken while others turned away. One man said “I’m not watching this.”

      It’s an age-old problem. I read Earnest Becker’s Denial of Death and Escape From Evil my first year of college and remember the bits about how shamans in certain tribes would get first dibs on all the young maidens. The implication was that this was a major incentive to become shamans, some of whom would outdo themselves faking epileptic seizures to demonstrate their magical-ness. Tribes would offer up their young to be consumed in trade for magical protection and proximity to imagined power.

      How things don’t change. Another great book is The Myth of Human Progress by Chris Hedges. I think the title says it all. This isn’t an attack on religion per se because the concept of progressive or teleological evolution is not supported in the bible or most major religions. Hedges argues that Jesus’s “My Kingdom is not of this world” is a clear refutation of this and writes that if Darwin and the bible agree on anything it’s that “original sin” and “animal nature” are the same thing. Even if our brains have gotten bigger due to diet and accruing mutations, we don’t morally evolve as a species and every individual and generation has a responsibility to keep abuse of power in check in themselves and in their society. Teleological evolution– the idea that the species (or select and entitled members of the species) improves with each generation– is the actually the typical scam of cults which maintain that their leaders are more morally transcendent than others, can be endowed with absolute power and that blind faith in these leaders might provide transcendence to followers.

      Becker’s main point seems to be that every generation still longs for this promise of transcendence and continues to put their faith in charlatans whether the false prophets are religious or political or pervy pop stars or whatever. Becker describes how many people go into palpitations just from proximity to fame and power. Many will keep letting children and other victims be consumed for this proximity and imagined protection. Because of this, I think the identifiably cult view of moral exceptionalism and license haven’t really been explored enough regarding interpersonal abuse and general corruption but may turn out to be something that “seeds” personality disorders and could be seen as a kind of political disease. Are narcissists and anti-social types partly the crystallization of all those culty cultural messages? It’s not to remove responsibility from individual abusers but to argue that society’s tendency to absolve abusers stems partly from this communal scourge. Many want to reserve the right to treat some abusers with reverence in trade for delusions of transcendence and so will tend to knee-jerkedly absolve all abuse.

      I know I’m untangling but it’s all so freaking interesting.

      • “if Darwin and the bible agree on anything it’s that “original sin” and “animal nature” are the same thing. Even if our brains have gotten bigger due to diet and accruing mutations, we don’t morally evolve as a species and every individual and generation has a responsibility to keep abuse of power in check in themselves and in their society.” (Absolutely agree with this.)
        Hell of a Chump? Hell of a post!! ????
        We are def not a completely evolved species. So many amazing points you brought up in your post.
        I agree, it is freakin interesting, a most bizarre anthropological study. All the knots are never coming out of that skein.
        Your post was awesome, lots of things to chomp on there! ????

        • Thank you for the insights and kind thoughts.You’re right that the knots are never coming out but it’s still too fascinating to stop trying. A friend jokingly calls the untanglers among us “misanthropologists.”

          You’d probably enjoy Hedges. His books read a bit like sermons and he’ll revisit the same themes repetitively but I think the purpose of this is clarity and many of the insights are mind blowing. The bibliographies in his books are like a candy store of other authors.

  • Oh, my in-laws were Jesus cheater supporters. They railed my ex wife for months about her affairs and supported me up and down with bible versus and offered to wash my feet (like I was Jesus). When I finally kicked her out, and she went to live with her parents, she agreed to marry her AP. They worked to find her an out-of-the-area pastor who would marry two cheaters. The found a pastor that forgave her (they were originally Catholic, so you can understand the logic here).

    What happened after is a tragedy. They decided that the cheating was God’s will and because she was forgiven and because they got married, that this is the path that God intended. They then railed against me being in the family, being seen in public at all with our child… They went so far as to ask me to relinquish my parental rights. Why? Because I was the human that was blocking our child from having a Christian “intact family” and instead, I was dooming him to be part of a divorced family.

    There is so much irony here, I don’t know where to begin. But it’s a pretty good story about Jesus type crazy.

      • Thanks, but dude, I’m all good.. My life has worked out amazingly after going through this hell hole.

    • I would say “OMG” but it sounds like you’ve had enough of that for one lifetime. So sorry you had to endure so much betrayal. The audacity of these people to drag your child into their craziness is beyond redemption.

  • I’m a practising Catholic. We have well-known networks of gay clerical predators and abusers. Their victims are mostly teenage boys (under 18). But there’s the same pattern of covering up, entitlement, DARVO, ‘friends’ in high places, and denial.

    It’s still very bad in some developing countries, but media scrutiny and lawsuits have thankfully begun to force some changes for the better.

    In comparison, Catholic clergy adult offenders with women are in the minority these days. But no less despicable in the trail of hurt and damage they leave behind. There’s still a culture of blaming the woman.

    We have a long way to go. I understand sin as something recurring – one confession doesn’t cover you for the rest of your life. Faith in God’s mercy also isn’t a hiding place for those who aren’t sorry and have no real intention of changing.

    I’m an active supporter of clergy abuse victims of all kinds. And I’m staying in the Church because I believe the core message to be true – but also because I want to help things get better, and I think I can do more here.

    • Same here Lola. I like the message and the rules with Catholicism. Over the years I have not been thrilled with many of the priests I have come across, but like you I believe the core message. (The pastor now sucks and was aware FW was cheating on me at the church and school…long story.) I am not there for a charismatic preacher, I am there to try and keep living as Christ would want me to.

  • My FW had cheated on his wife and then when accompanied his daughter to a purity ball, he professed to never cheat again. His daughter was a virgin when she got married (and immediately had 4 kids in 6 years) but he went on to cheat on his ex-wife, and then on me. Purity is a means of control.

  • Hello, Tracy!
    I just want to inform you (or maybe ask for a late permission) that I started a Facebook page to share your blog here in the Philippines. Admittedly, we are a third-world country where mail-order brides and Jesus cheaters are rampant. We have a lot of pressure to keep up the facade of a “whole family” in the midst of “sex-tourism hospitality”. This is why your blog is badly needed in our country. Please keep on writing. Thank you.

    • TuesdayDreamer, thank you. I want to apologise to you for the Australian men who have sexually exploited women and children in the Philippines, and for the mail-order bride industry that our citizens have supported. I’m so sorry.

      There are many of us who are horrified by the lives that Filipinas have to live when they come to Australia to marry a ‘nice Aussie guy’ – who can’t find a partner here because he’s so awful to the local women. I’ve seen some few happy pairings, but many other unhappy ones.

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