Hi Chump Lady!
I love the UBT. I thought it could use a snack. I received this text from Schmoopie. Backstory: she was the OW he left to be with, 20 years younger, and she calls FW “Daddy” while our kids are not allowed to. Separated 5 years, finally divorced this year.
FW does not communicate with me (yay!) so he gets Schmoopie to do his dirty work. Grandma is my former MIL. FW gave her an ultimatum to pick between us. She said “no” and I have a great relationship with her to this day. She has been sending me money for the kids’ gifts for years as they live with me. (I got full custody.) FW and Schmoopie had a birthday party for youngest this weekend and invited Grandma.
They don’t allow our 16-year-old to bring anything home from their house, even things that are bought with allowance from them must stay there. They have clothes that are only worn at their home. Child changes when arriving, they wash the clothes and return in home clothes. (20-year-old has chosen not to have a relationship with dear old Dad).
PS: FW is marrying her in 2 weeks and they are expecting a baby.
I hope the UBT can enjoy.
Suddenly Single and Thriving
Hi (Suddenly) sorry to bother you. FW just found out that (youngest child’s) gift from her grandmother was sent to you when that was not supposed to be the case. We had the party here and all gifts given at the party were to be enjoyed here. If you have already given the money to her, if you can please make sure she does not spend it and brings it with her when she visits next.
If you have not had the chance to give it to her, can you please forward it to me, as the email for FW is not attached to any accounts.
Wow. Schmoopie wants to micromanage a teenager’s birthday gift? The Universal Bullshit Translator is here to serve.
Hi (Suddenly) sorry to bother you.
Hi Suddenly. Don’t mind my intrusion. As a woman who cheated with your husband and got pregnant while your divorce dragged on, I would never want to cause offense. Just one small matter…
FW just found out that (youngest child’s) gift from her grandmother was sent to you when that was not supposed to be the case.
FW just found out his mother prefers communicating directly with the custodial parent of her grandchildren. Clearly there must be some mistake.
This addled old bat sent money to her granddaughter at that child’s address. Perhaps it’s time for a dementia check.
We had the party here and all gifts given at the party were to be enjoyed here.
We had a party. You were not invited.
All the gifts are to be enjoyed HERE. Not with you. I specifically told FW, everything stays within a 100-foot perimeter. Which I have cordoned off with party ribbons and trip wire.
Nothing may leave the perimeter. Guests, gifts, FW’s wandering dick. It’s all mine. Do you hear me? MINE.
If you have already given the money to her,
Gifts are supposed to be surprises, but I KNOW IT’S MONEY.
I have my ways, Suddenly.
if you can please make sure she does not spend it and brings it with her when she visits next.
DO NOT SPEND THE MONEY. Bring it here. Drop it off in small, unmarked bills.
If you have not had the chance to give it to her, can you please forward it to me,
In a time of technology, where teenagers deposit funds faster than you can say “Venmo!” I would like to make the quaint request that you forward all monies to me.
You can trust me. As the woman who cheated with your husband, I am beyond reproach.
as the email for FW is not attached to any accounts
FW is not allowed his own money. Or email. There is just the 100-foot radius, or ZAP.
SSaT, I would respond to this request with crickets.
And I hope you and your daughter enjoyed a grand day out with grandma spending her birthday gift.