Anyone following the whole Jason Sudeikis/Olivia Wilde breakup with Harry Styles playing the ingenue part as the Other Man?
For months it’s been speculated that Wilde cheated on Sudeikis, the Ted Lasso and SNL star. But yesterday, their former nanny came forward to the tabloid the Daily Mail with the D-Day details, undercutting the story that Wilde took up with Styles after she broke it off with Sudeikis.
Wilde met Styles (or cast him, depending on what source you read) in her flop film Don’t Worry Darling, which she directed.
It takes a while for Don’t Worry Darling to reveal itself as abysmal, because it spends such a grueling amount of time being merely pedestrian. — Scott Tobias.
The lead actress in the film, Florence Pugh, reportedly had a falling out with Wilde and mysteriously wouldn’t promote the film because Wilde was two-timing Sudeikis and pressing the film crew into her conspiracy. Which, if true, Chump Nation salutes your integrity, Florence!
Gossip site Page Six reports:
“I can tell you for a fact that Flo seeing Olivia and Harry all over each other on set did not go down well as Olivia was still with Jason when she first hooked up with Harry,” one insider told Page Six, referring to Wilde’s ex, “Ted Lasso” star Jason Sudeikis.
The former couple — who got engaged in 2012 and share kids Otis, 8, and Daisy, 5 — announced the end of their seven-year-romance in November 2020.
At the time, sources cited Wilde’s relationship with Styles as the main reason for the split, with one insider telling Page Six that the affair with Styles, now 28, had been ongoing for a month, leaving “Saturday Night Live” vet Sudeikis distraught.
The other clue that the break-up wasn’t all conscious uncoupling was the interview Sudeikis gave to GQ magazine in July 2021, where he intimated that there was some overlap between his character Ted Lasso (who suffers a terrible heartbreak) and his own life.
He had the same pandemic year we all had, and in the middle of that, he had Ted Lasso turn into a massive, unexpected hit, and in the middle of that, his split from his partner and the mother of his two children, Olivia Wilde, became public in a way that from a great distance seemed not entirely dissimilar to something that happens to the character he plays on the show that everyone was suddenly watching. “Personal stuff, professional stuff, I mean, it’s all…that Venn diagram for me is very”—here he held up two hands to form one circle—“you know?”
But then yesterday, the ex-couple’s former nanny came out to the Daily Mail and confirmed that yes, Olivia Wilde is not just a pretentious git, but also a cheating fuckwit.
Ted Lasso star Jason Sudeikis was so devastated after learning his live-in fiancée Olivia Wilde had taken up with Harry Styles, he flung himself under her car in a desperate bid to prevent her from leaving to visit the British superstar, DailyMail.com can exclusively reveal.
And despite Wilde’s insistence that her split from Sudeikis was ‘initially friendly,’ in fact it left the blindsided Sudeikis distraught and drinking heavily alone at home and ranting to the couple’s nanny: ‘She’s f***ing someone else.’
The nanny who was caught in the middle of the warring pair, has now spoken out in a blockbuster interview with DailyMail.com, detailing how Sudeikis was left heartbroken, Wilde besotted with her new man, and their two young children, Otis, eight, and Daisy, six, caught in a legal tug of war between them.
My heart goes out to Jason Sudeikis. No one wants to be judged for how they react on D-Day. The poor guy apparently learned he was a chump via an Apple watch Wilde left behind and read the messages.
Anyone of these details could be lifted from this blog. Especially the ol’ cheater chestnut that they met their affair partner after they broke up with the chump.
Wilde began spending more time away from home citing work at the start of November and eventually dumped Sudeikis on November 8.
Sudeikis later uncovered the full details of her relationship with Styles by reading messages on an Apple watch Wilde had left behind and banned the nanny from playing Styles’ music near their children.
The stunned actor was distraught following Wilde’s abrupt departure and was left drunkenly ranting ‘she’s left us’ and ‘she’s f***ing someone else’.
Sudeikis told nanny ‘she put the move on him [Harry]. She kissed him at one of the dinners they had for the cast in Palm Springs. She did that.’
Sudeikis became infuriated after seeing Wilde prepare a salad for Styles with her ‘special dressing’ in the family kitchen, leaving him ranting furiously at her and filming the encounter, before he tried to prevent her leaving by lying under the car.
During the altercation Wilde told him: ‘I’m scared of you, Jason, I’m scared of you’. And he said: ‘If you’re scared of me, why are you leaving your kids with me’?’
They’re not original, Jason.
Despite all the text message evidence, Wilde and Sudeikis claim their former nanny is making it up. People reports:
“As parents, it is incredibly upsetting to learn that a former nanny of our two young children would choose to make such false and scurrilous accusations about us publicly,” the former couple said.
Hey Olivia, it’s incredibly upsetting to learn you would cheat with a Schmoopie who dresses like the love child of Ziggy Stardust and a checkered tablecloth.
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There’s still a lot of stigma out there about being chumped, especially for men. And probably especially for men in Hollywood, so I understand why Sudeikis might try to do the united front thing with his ex, for the children. But I really wish he took a note from the Florence Pugh playbook and said nothing at all, and just let Olivia Wilde twist in the wind.
What do you guys think?
A bit of schaudenfraude for me was seeing Olivia get served divorced papers in public during one of her press tours about the film. I wish I had Jason’s chutzpah to serve my ex like that in retrospect – https://youtu.be/tSndGZDgCus – but then calls him “vicious” for serving him at that moment. *playing the worlds smallest violin*
I also believe Jason was quoted as saying he couldn’t control when papers were served. 🙃😎
I believe they were custody papers. The couple never married, just a 7 year engagement.
My cheating ex served me the day after I returned alone from a trip to Italy (one that he planned for us and then took the whore on months later). He also said “I did not know when the papers would be served”… just wondering why they did not attempt to serve me while I was away. At this time I still had no idea he was cheating and was never told he was filing for a divorce. This, after 36 year marriage. He’s a coward!
I know when I was in custody and divorce litigation I had no info or input as to when and where service would happen. I provided work and home address and they do the rest. I definitely thought Olivia Wilde was full of it when she claimed he chose to have her served publicly. I’m sure serving a celebrity is near impossible, so a public event was the easiest way to access her.
Unfortunately that made him look bad, and no one believed he wasn’t involved.
To CL’s point ‘ if it feels good, don’t do it.’
Not that I blame him.
He couldn’t control when exactly the papers were served, but could have provided info on when and where to find her. I filed while FW was home for Christmas, spent most of the break waffling about whether to divorce, then called my lawyer with less than 3 days before FW would return to his job overseas (and be out of reach). I told her why it was a rush and she made it happen! He got the papers the day before he left.
I feel for Jason, and their kids. I, however agree with Jason and Olivia that the Nanny betrayed their trust and went public like this.
Watching Ted Lasso you could see how much Jason was hurting in this mess. Reading about him being drastic during a clearly emotional breakdown, actually made me feel solidarity for him in a lot of ways. My own situation was sudden and heartbreaking. I acted very irrationally due to anger and hurt.
The people I feel most for? Their kids. Imagine one day Mom being there and then she’s just not…..
Yeah, I agree. When you’re hired to work in someone’s home, what happens there stays there, unless you are required to provide information for safety reasons. She, at the very least, could have just said she saw evidence that they split due to Wilde’s infidelity and left the details out. They both turned on her because she gave too much info.
Exactly. And selling her story to the Daily Mail? Awful. On top of being chumped, Sudeikis had to see his pain splashed all over one of the world’s worst papers – thanks to the person he trusted to care for his children.
I’ve seen people post questions about bosses’ or colleagues’ extramarital affairs on professional forums and the feedback can vary by miles, from “mind your own damned business” to “you have a moral duty to report to the victim.” Some people are traumatized by being burdened with sleazy secrets. I’m with CL that Sudeikis should have just remained mum on the subject instead of chastising the nanny. It makes me wonder if Wilde dangled custody armistice in exchange for the “united front” charade.
Hell of a Chump, you just reminded me of an experience I had about 30 years ago. One day after work, I stopped at the grocery store near my house to pick something up. I was standing in line, and I saw a director I knew at the company I was working at in another line with a woman. They were all over each other; it was obvious that she wasn’t his sister or a platonic friend. I knew it wasn’t his wife because I’d met her. I didn’t know what to do, but I was afraid he’d see me, and the situation would be awkward. So I turned away, put my head down, and did my best to be invisible. He didn’t see me.
I didn’t think about contacting his wife and letting her know; I could have sent an anonymous letter or something, I guess. I should have.
Not all professional advisor types think that experience is negligible and “no big deal.” Here’s an interesting take on it: https://www.healthyway.com/content/my-colleague-is-having-an-affair-should-i-expose-it/
Also about playing possum, I think we all have a sort of primitive awareness honed by gadzillion years of evolution that warns us that thwarting a sexual aggressor– at least someone aggressive enough to risk their entire lives, marriages, professional standing and reputation for a bang– could trigger severe consequences like, say, getting permanently blacklisted from a profession if not run down in a parking lot. I think it’s viscerally terrifying to be put in that position and lends to the trauma aspect of it. If I was going to warn someone anonymously, I would do it very craftily to disguise the source as much as possible, maybe pretend to be an old, devoted friend too cowardly to name themselves who “saw something.” No way am I putting my neck under the hoof of a cheater by doing it directly. Those fuckers scare the living daylights out of me the same way I steer clear of moose on the highway during the mating season. If it didn’t occur to you to be so deceitful in how you let the cat out of the bag, chalk it up to youthful earnestness and the rutting moose factor.
Couldn’t agree more. The devastation of being blindsided by the person you trust most causes us to do things we wouldn’t do if we had time to digest and think rationally.
AllI can say is, Jesus, imagine being a celebrity and doing all of that nightmare in public. Excruciating.
If he is really a Ted Lasso good guy (and for those of us who loved it, oh we want to believe!) my heart goes out to him. And the kiddos.
For real, stories like this just reinforce for me how grateful I am to have my anonymity. You couldn’t PAY me to be famous.
“There’s still a lot of stigma out there about being chumped, especially for men.”
I could go on and on … this deserves an entire column on its own. After my D-Day, when I was still in the “trying to figure out what was real and what was fake” stage, I was questioning every fundamental understanding, every foundation, every “default setting”, that my (apparently fake) universe had been constructed on. One of the revelations that was lying in plain sight was this: that we as a culture have very little appreciation for (1) womens’ sexual needs, and (2) mens’ emotional needs. Both are seen as weaknesses, and deeply under-appreciated.
In my experience, adolescent boys who fall in love … fall as hard as any girl. It’s only later in life that men get trained to see “love” as a personal weakness. It was only when I started reading on this forum, and on “Straight Spouse Network”, that I came to understand the depth and complexity of men who love.
Can you share more about Straight Spouse Network? Also, a well-researched and fantastic book about womens’ sexual needs is The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire.
no offense but I’m trying to figure out what sex has to do with lying, cheating, stealing and running away? When you have children, married or not, you make sacrifices for your kids and are supposed to set a good moral example for them to follow. If someone isn’t happy then they need to speak up and end it as a responsible adult. Not slink around in the shadows of life pretending things are one way when they are another.
The thing this website taught me is that cheating is a character issue and no amount of excuses or explanations or whatever can justify the lies and deceit that someone goes through to cheat. Trusting your partner should not be a negotiable issue.
Not connecting sex to cheating/lying/stealing. Was referencing walkbymyself’s comment regarding how our culture has little appreciation for women’s sexual needs. Just a sidebar.
I just hope Jason doesn’t go back with her at any point. Olivia seems cold hearted and manipulative. Olivia with Harry Styles … assuming they are still together … can anyone see that lasting??
But a big part of me wants to ask — what about Harry Styles? Clearly he got a big role in a movie most of us have no interest in seeing. So everyone is ok with him helping break up a family to sleep with the director and get an acting part?
The whole thing is so icky.
Harry Styles jumps from a woman to another… it won’t last more than a few months
I thought he was gay!
I didn’t know who he was or what he did until this report came out. Then I watched fifteen seconds of one of his music videos. Oh, the crap you hear at the gym and the reason you bring your own tunes and headphones. Happily the nondescript thing he was singing completely faded from memory so no annoying ear worms.
Oh my goodness, MichelleShocked. Now I’m wondering if this was a casting couch thing?
Olivia saying she’s scared of Jason is straight out of the cheaters playbook for women cheater’s. I’ve experienced that mindfuck and I’ve spoken with several others who have as well.
One instance from a friend was his now ex-wife calling the cops on him because he ripped up the APs bouquet he had delivered to their house.
As a guy it feels like we’re guilty until proven innocent in these situations, which is why it’s such a common manipulation cheaters use
My ex also claimed he was afraid of me. He is 6’3 with very long arms for his height. I am 5′ tall.
My ex husband did this as well. He’s 6’1”, I’m 5’4”. He towered over me while I was crouched down taking clothes out of the dryer and screamed at me that I was abusing him because I was crying.
omg. The you are abusing me by having feelings ploy. I am a woman married to a woman and after d day she did that. Told me my crying and being upset was manipulative and abusive. Sorry I’m not a robot.
Yup, thought the whole me having feelings and being upset, upsetting him was just me. Glad for the clarification that this is just a manipulation tactic that FW do. Its pretty crappy when you are upset because of their behavior and they do the whole DARVO thing. Making them the victim, you apologizing for being upset that they are having an affair. So f@@ed up! You realize at that point it is not a real relationship. It will never be a normal, loving relationship like other people experience.
I got that as well. Apparently crying was my way of “coercing” and “assaulting” him. He got more than fifty pounds on me.
My ex, who is 6’4″, a foot taller than me, one towered over me and raised his arms over his head cowering, and said “Don’t hit me.” Even cowering he was a head taller than I am! (And I don’t suppose I have to say that I was (and am) not given to hitting!)
Same, Adelante. My ex is 6’4” and I’m over a foot shorter than him. He was physically abusive, and I never laid a finger on him, nor threatened him — not even when he was attacking me. And yet he tried to claim I was abusive. He also said he needed to restrain me. Wish the flying monkeys/Switzerland could have seen that.
” … raised his arms over his head cowering, and said ‘Don’t hit me.'”
My ex also claimed I had magical powers. He was 30cm taller than me, 30 kgs heavier and a professional military commando.
I was very upset when he came out with this, now I find it hilarious.
Same! Ex was 6′-3″ and I’m 5′-2″. Claimed I had some sort of “deep-seated anger that was not normal” that scared him. (Anger…. how shocking! I’m not sure what kind of reaction he was expecting in response to his lying, cheating, gaslighting)
Same here. Mine had his lawyer try to make me admit to being irate all the time. That I was upset that my children kept letting my now ex in my house and I laid down boundaries with them, never raising my voice but expressing my disappointment that he was still entering my home when I clearly told him no. Yes, I was upset, irate, no. I used to talk him down from being angry at the kids but then it turned into him projecting his issue on me. Now my kids and I laugh when any of us say no or put our foot down in conversation. “Oh no, so and so is being irate”. Cheaters are ridiculous projecting liars. The best advice I’ve learned here is – No Contact. It’s a life saver!
Its not just the cheaters who project and lie. Its the disordered. Luckily, once we experience it, we can recognize and avoid people who do this to us in life.
I think the whole thing with FW claiming they are afraid of us or calling the police is just another FW play to try to prove the chump is “crazy”, “unstable” or whatever. FW tried it with me multiple times and the police grew tired of it.
XW wanted a divorce and to alternate weeks at home with our teen sons during separation. I reluctantly agreed, but when her cheating was exposed I was done cooperating. I carefully moved all her clothing and furniture to the garage while everyone else was gone. I put a key lock on the master bedroom door and left. When she got home she exploded. Kicked down the locked MB door and trashed the room. All in front of our youngest son. When I got home she was still raging. I would not talk to her unless it was in the driveway in plain view. After she left I photographed the damage and handed them to my attorney the next day. 48 hours later I had a restraining order that also included her not seeing the kids.
Her contention was I set her up. My view was that she was unstable and I was heading off an inevitable blow up where I would go to jail. She had stopped taking the anti-psychotic her psychiatrist prescribed and was binge drinking. I honestly was afraid she would stab me in my sleep without at least a locked door between us. Most likely was an alcohol fueled blow up where the cops look at 200 lb. me and 105 lb. her and just do the simple math. I was not going to jail because of her cheating and psychosis and I did not want my kids to experience the trauma.
I see your point but in my case, I’m not psychotic or have any such mental disease, I don’t drink, I’ve never trashed any place and it was a single event. I think the same can be claimed for the contributors above.
But yes, both men and women should be very careful regarding abuse accusations.
I’ve seen this accusation a lot on “the other site” where men typically encourage other men to record their interactions with their cheating spouse. I also think it’s quite common for cheating women to tell tales of DV to their AP.
What I now find funny is that FW (the cheater) would constantly have his phone on to record me (non-cheater). Not sure who he would show it to but No Contact (saying absolutely nothing to his verbal prodding) and Grey Rock (him trying to have a conversation and me answering with “yes”, “no” or “uh huh” must not have been too entertaining and they certainly did not provide him with what he had hoped for.
Guess FW actually thought he would get something to show everyone how crazy and abusive I was to him.
5’6″ wife of a 6′ hockey player who claimed I was beating him and he was terrified of me. Interestingly, the last time he shoved me he started screaming that I WAS HITTING HIM. That was truly terrifying. He wanted my kids to hear him – they didn’t and they had seen him shove me around enough to understand who was abusing who. Cheaters love to play the victim regardless of gender – makes my blood boil.
What you’re describing is a “thing” in DV. As an advocate, I heard many stories of how, in mid-assault, the abuser will scream out the window for neighbors or bystanders to hear “Stop beating me!” When the cops arrive, the abuser will suddenly begin limping and report to police that the victim assaulted them.
That level of cunning proves that domestic abusers aren’t so much “crazy” as criminally disordered. Actually mentally ill people don’t have the wherewithal to set their victims up like that.
I totally agree with you. I think cheaters are on the spectrum of criminally disordered and given the right circumstances will commit crimes. How many times on this forum, do people say their FW stole things and damaged property or physically assaulted them? When you have no empathy you do decide what you do based on if you’ll get caught.
Plus the fake accusations are a huge disservice to actual victims. As a former advocate, I saw how genuinely battered women are too often accused of fabricating even when they show up in ER with multiple fractures and hand prints on their necks. At first I wanted to believe that no one could possibly fake accusations like that. But in my regular job I saw a few women (and one man) frame others for harassment for political reasons, so I know it happens. I think it’s criminal to lend to the general impression that all victims are liars and I absolutely despise the frauds.
And God knows why the fakers tend to get more immediate support than actual victims. I suppose because people with personality disorders know how to let a single, tragic tear gently roll down their powdered cheeks as they simper out their phony tales of woe while real victims ugly cry alone in the restroom or show up ashen and catatonic and make people uncomfortable.
Your writing about “reactive abuse” — I call it “reaction to abuse” — and abusers’ patterns really helped me when I was still struggling with that particular mindfuck, even months after leaving. Just wanted to say thanks. Could — but won’t — go on and on about what I experienced (that matches much of what you describe) and the insights I’ve gained. It made me feel powerless and afraid. I hope acknowledging these common but rarely shared patterns helps other chumps/victims, too.
One thing I learned from reading about DV dynamics was about how victims might instinctively speed up the abuse cycle to get it over with during the “tension building” stage. The term “reactive abuse” is relatively newer but I think the above falls into that category. For example, imagine that, on a Friday, the victim of repeat assaults by a partner senses from dire experience that the abuser is in the process of working themselves up towards a major assault. Also from past experience, the victim knows this will take about five days of mounting, unbearable tension before the abuser goes full Clockwork Orange. But then imagine the victim has an important work meeting or social event the following week, can sense the abuser is timing things in order to sabotage and the victim fears showing up at the event with fresh bruises and hand prints on their neck. So the victim might do things to expedite the cycle, “provoke” the inevitable attack on, say, Saturday so they have time to recover a bit and at least slap some makeup on the welts to be able to attend the important meeting or event.
It’s all pretty sensible to helping professionals with long experience interfacing with victims and who’ve heard these stories over and over. Some victims “expedite” just to shorten the tension building stage because it’s unbearable and can commulatively induce serious health problems over time. How long can someone spend trembling under the sword of Damocles before their hearts go kaput? But since most victims have to think on their feet and are catastrophically overwhelmed, the process of “expediting the inevitable” may be unconscious and then, in retrospect, the victim is in danger of interpreting their own behavior as proof that they “instigated abuse”– which is exactly the stereotype that negative bystanders and lousy helping professionals assume of all victims.
Another assumption is that victims “don’t just leave” because of some inherent flaw in psychology. As if leaving were a cinch. But like the above example illustrates, regular life still happens and makes its demands even in the midst of abuse. When a victim can suspend regular life and take five months to a year out of their lives to go into hiding, manage family fallout, get an order of protection, get finances in order and get enough proof of abuse to give them a chance to gain full custody of children, then they can think about it. Would the judgy bystander like to personally fund this process? Maybe stand guard day and night armed to the teeth to keep the abuser from breaking down doors, assaulting the victim again, abducting children or worse? Not so much. And the fact is that victims do leave, often making up to seven attempts before finally breaking free. Because it’s not a cinch.
So you’re totally right that sharing the nitty gritty details these common but under-reported patterns are critical for survivors to understand how entrapping abuse is, that the whole dynamic can be explained by abuser tactics alone and that victims’ reactions to these abuser-driven patterns should not be automatically assumed to be evidence that the victim is inherently psychologically flawed. I think clearing up the confusion and undercutting typical victim-blaming bystander interpretations takes a ton of weight off the already burdened souls of survivors.
I watched Ted Lasso last year, curious after all the Emmys the show won. I had no expectations and I’m typically not a fan of series, preferring movies (don’t like the commitment a series requires – ironic!).
My mind was blown. I shed cathartic tears with one particular episode, when Rebecca is publicly humiliated by her ex yet again, and Ted tells her that people do see who her ex for who he really is. I believe that the show has writers in addition to Sudeikis – whoever they are, they all get it – and I’m sorry-not-sorry that part of the plot is echoing Sudeikis’ real life. Part of my revenge is the success of the show, realizing that maybe people do see sparkly ex’s for who they really are.
Rebecca is definitely the character to watch Ted Lasso for! She truly walks the journey we all hope to; from pain-shopping and fantasies of vengeance all the way to mighty and meh. So inspiring.
I don’t follow this stuff, but I get exposed to it under the guise of “news” on infotainment shows. Doesn’t Harry have a long list of former famous girlfriends? Aren’t there several very unhappy breakups?
No matter how great the role is, remember the actor is not the role. There is a long history of the entertainment industry creating backstories of artist origin and covering up scandals. The whole world of entertainment romances seems pretty messed up to me. I would imagine the position of Head Narcissist would be hard to sustain with so much competition for that role!
Isn’t there an expression, “every dog has his day”? Apology to dogs. I rather like actual canines!
For me, all these revelations were triggering on both sides. I’m sure JS was very distraught about the cheating and I know how none of us are at our best with these situations, and I never believed for a SECOND the story about how she only started dating Styles later….but the way he treated the nanny in all this, his insistence on filming every confrontation with his fiancee, threatening the nanny with middle of the night police calls if she wouldn’t come downstairs and report her every interaction with the ex (“I don’t feel safe with you in the house”), forcing the nanny into “life coach” sessions which were just the illicit attempts to grill her for information about Wilde…. all of that is straight from MY ex’s playbook. I doubt very highly I shall ever be able to watch Ted Lasso again, and I was 100% on JS’s side prior to this.
Videotaping a confrontation like that could offset false charges of assaultive behavior– a typical FW tactic, particularly in custody battles.
I think that at the end of the day, this is a tabloid story sold and published specifically to scandalize and make money, so we shouldn’t assume that we know anything about who really was the hero or villain.
I love Ted Lasso, but on the Brene Brown live podcast she did with Brett Goldstein he said the writers learned a bit from…wait for it…Esther Perell. Gag. Which is very surprising given a few very strong episodes on cheaters being scum. I was shocked.
Brene Brown is BFFs with Esther Perel, or their publicists are.
I sadly did know this based on your article a while back. I didn’t realize the writers of Ted Lasso, (and then possibly Jason S. as they all follow the same guidelines for the show) were also under her influence as well 🙁 That could explain Jason’s standing with Olivia on this.
Love child. Ziggy stardust. Checkered tablecloth. Omg chump lady. You deserve a Pulitzer for that one. Still laughing!!!!
It’s so easy to hate cheaters and that whole Hollywood bs scene. The nanny is scum as well. Jason. This is what you get for fucking a crazy.
10 years difference between the Styles and Wilde with her being the oldest. What could go wrong I’m sure it will last……..
Wilde is also 10 years younger than Sudeikis
In his efforts to control the narrative and keep people from fining out that he had given tens of thousands of dollars to an online catfisher scam and planned to marry “her,” my ex told people he left because my brain had suddenly deteriorated, I had become irrational, unreasonably jealous, paranoid, violent, and was waving around guns, so he had to leave for his safety. He warned others to stay away for their safety, too.
The leader of our Sunday services asked him why he would leave our young grandson alone with me, during the pandemic, and he answered that he had no fears that I would harm a child. That made no sense since he was claiming I was irrational and violent. Fortunately, when I contacted her months later and showed her their emails, she believed me and has been supportive since.
Wilde claims the kids are her main focus. “There’s nothing that is more important to me,” she said. “I love driving to school every morning. I love making pancakes. I love putting them to bed every night. They’re my best friends.” But she also claims they are co-parenting. How can that be if she has them every night and morning? And doesn’t she realize she’s supposed to be a parent, not best friends?
She also claims that she knew the relationship with Jason was over before she started her relationship with Styles. I think it’s telling that she said that SHE knew it was over, because knowing cheaterspeak, it sounds like Jason was not informed.
Lying liars lie. It sounds like she’s dragging her ex into image management. And their kids, too.
Nothing says “I love my kids” like blowing up their family.
Cheaterspeak is right! When my D-Day came, my FW called his OP to break it off (that lasted a mere 24 hours) and told her we had “decided to reconcile.” What a mindf*ck, as I had no clue that we were broken up and in need of reconciliation.
He lied to her to get what he wanted.
Now he expects you will buy that BS
This made me so mad too. I grabbed the phone to see if he was really on it.
Get their little sexual fun and think that you will accept that
I lost respect for him that day, then the love over the next few months
I side with the chumps and have a low opinion of cheaters. I don’t k ow the facts here and it’s entirely possible all this is true but: the daily Mail is not a credible source of information!
I agree. The Daily Mail makes the National Enquirer (in the U.S.) look sedate.
I love Chumplady. I don’t love all the pop up ads.
I have an ad blocker installed and don’t see a single one.
Well, it allows ChumpLady to provide this free, helpful site so, either block them or make peace with them.
They pay my bills. It costs money to do this.
Here’s my $0.02: the nanny is telling the truth, no matter what Sudeikis and Wilde claim.
When I was a young woman, newly arrived in the US from Sweden, I worked as a nanny. Young-ish corporate climber wife, older, kind and mellow husband, two sweet little girls, the oldest from wife’s first marriage. During my tenure with the family, wife got a boob job and then increasingly began to carry on hushed conversations on the phone while “working from home.” She also developed “mentionitis” to me about a certain younger guy she worked with.
Long story short, she ended up leaving her hubs and having a third daughter by younger coworker AP. The nanny knows.
Whether Sudeikis is a real-life Ted Lasso or someone less synpathetic, well that doesn’t really matter. As it’s often said here, even if you were a horrible partner, you still never deserve to be cheated on.
Also, I gotta comment on the salad with the special dressing. My ex-husband made his mom’s special candy cake for his AP in our kitchen several times before I discovered the affair. Still to this day, the mere thought of this cake turns my stomach.
“Even if you were a horrible partner, you still never deserve to be cheated on”
And conversely, you could be an awesome partner in every way and still get cheated on. Fuckwits gonna fuckwit.
I can’t agree that nobody ever deserves it.
Abusers deserve to be cheated on. They already broke their vows by being abusive anyway. The to love, honor and cherish part of the vows is just as important as the to be faithful part. The marriage is already effectively over when they become cruel.
I wouldn’t do it, because it’s important to me that my promises are kept. But I had walking away money and a place to go. Many don’t, so they need to find a new partner before they can afford to leave. I won’t judge people for doing what they need to do to survive.
I hear what you are saying, but I don’t agree. Cheating on a abuser seems like a great way to get murdered, and overlapping an abusive relationship with a new one seems like a great way to jump into the arms of another abuser. A woman’s shelter is a safer place for a vulnerable woman than with another man.
I have to admit “what is in this special salad dressing” was one of my first questions. I googled Olivia Wilde and “salad dressing” autopopulates! Guess it’s the question of the hour! No one knows yet what seductive oils and yeasts Olivia may have absonded with.
My main takeaway from soiling my mind with this particular narc drama is that it may be entirely possible to get as excited about a salad dressing as caviar and chocolates.
The repeated mention of the “special dressing” is a hoot. It’s a plain vinaigrette with a teaspoon of honey added. There – now you know Olivia’s secret recipe for attracting APs! They can’t help themselves!
Unless it’s “special” because she slathers it all over herself!
My favorite inadvertent revenge story: I learned how to cook in France in my teens and FW tried to make one of these elaborate recipes for the AP, mostly as a way to divert her from demanding the most expensive bistro grub. What he didn’t seem to remember is that certain classic French dishes are the ultimate fart foods and the one he attempted to make is the worst, especially if you drink a ton of alcohol with it. This happened on side chick Valentine’s Day in the dead of winter and the smell coming from the AP’s basement studio must have been spectacular.
Now I know why I love Jason Sudeikis and Ted Lasso so much! Me and my family have been a huge fan and never knew his troubles with Olivia “Fucktwit” Wilde and now “Douchebag” Styles. I hope Jason finds his way here to help him navigate through the muddy waters of a narcissistic cheater other parent.
As far as the nanny tattling thing, I hope Jason appreciates her telling his side of the story. There is something to be said about someone other than you who exposes the fucktwit. However, I’m with CL, there is no need in “standing by” your fucktwit regardless if you are trying to co-parent or not. Saying nothing goes a long way. It says, you respect yourself to no longer accept or spackle someone else’s behavior and you don’t owe anyone a damn reason or statement about anything. Jason, if you make it here and you read this, I hope you stop playing “we are doing this together card”. Your fucktwit doesn’t deserve “together”….it continues the crazy cycle. You deserve to choose what’s best for you and your kids deserve the sane parent!
My ex was also served at a public venue, although he wasn’t the one on stage. The process server had tried to catch my ex for weeks, but his car was never at the few places he was scheduled to be. I now suspect he was used friends’ cars. He refused to give anyone his new address, including police. When I later had police records search him by name, an unrelated report from the time came up, and he had told police he lived in a city 50 miles away, but did not have the street address. The process server knew my grandson was performing at his school band concert, and caught ex on his way into the building. Sadly that didn’t stop him from going in and harassing our grandson who was waiting to perform. He told friends how awful it was to serve him there. Boo hoo.
I want the recipe for the special salad dressing.
I was a housekeeper for many years and was an invisible de facto family member.
One couple I worked for had just moved in together, after having an affair for TWENTY YEARS. She told me their story was like The Bridges of Madison County.
(It doesn’t look like she read the book.)
Soon enough, she got everything his wife got. His career was “quitting” jobs without telling her (most likely getting fired) and then staying home to drink and watch golf on TV.
Their bedroom furniture was one half of the bedroom set that belonged to him and his ex-wife. Despite having tons of money to buy new furniture. WTH?!
I remember her coming home from work. He had been home drinking all day. She was in the bathroom, crying, trying to put makeup on to go out to dinner and asked me, “Has he been drinking?” Yes. All day. A LOT.
I arrived one day and they were having a conversation about deer repellent. How romantic.
No matter how long the sexy spicy spontaneous secret forbidden affair, when they get together, real life sets in and it’s all about the deer repellent.
The lion’s share of my sympathy goes to the children involved.
Someone once said to live your life like it will be on the front pages of the newspaper, because someday it might be.
Affairs are kind of like those billowy, glowing sea creatures from the Mariana Trench that collapse into silly, ugly goo the second they hit the surface.
Personally, I love JS line in the Rolling Stone interview “I’m going to Land like an Avenger”. That’s what he’s done with Ted Lasso. Hope he continues being an Avenger because he’s an inspiration.
As for OW, could you be more pretentious choosing your stage name after Oscar Wilde? That’s all anyone needs to know to recognize she’s a narc.
Seriously what is the deal with HS? He looks 12, cross dresses, is plainly a little man-ho. I don’t and never have gotten it.
One lovely bit of schadenfraude- they will not be able to quietly go their own ways. It’s too juicy. We’ll get to see them go down in Kharmic flames.
Her “real” name is Olivia Cockburn. Kinda says it all!
Being an adult that grew up with a cheating father and then being married to a cheater-my heart breaks most for the innocent children that didn’t ask for any of this and certainly don’t deserve it 🙄😔.
Yeah, you hope on some level these continuously common very public cheating dramas will raise awareness of the harm these selfish narcissistic FW’s do to ppls lives, but I think it’s just more entertainment for the masses.
Kind of like how our culture of gun violence plays out or human trafficking and off the charts pornography problem and our lack of any handle on rampant mental illness in all age groups.
Everyone knows there is something deeply wrong with how we put up with countless toxic societal issues, but change doesn’t happen, we collectively turn a blind eye and move on to the next thing, as if we’ve unconsciously given up on genuine change ever happening.
I feel that way about the harms done by infidelity, unless you have been personally affected by these issues, you can’t see it for the abuse that it is. It becomes just another scandal to entertain until another comes by to top it. This week it’s Jason’s trauma, next week it will be some other Chumps turn.
The trauma and grief being inflicted on the next generations will not make for a healthy future society, but it’s the “ live for today” mentality without consequences for actions that seems to be driving the car.
That’s why I feel blessed being a part of Chump Nation. Even if it’s a very small subsection of society that actually ‘gets it’ and understands the damage it so deeply inflicts, it helps me feel saner and validates my valued by others sharing experiences of eerily similar abuses.
Just wish the world could get it too.
Love all your thoughts here. So insightul. And true, true, true.
What do I think? Well aside from disgusted , sadly not surprised . The revelations of the last few weeks are enough to fill a hurl bucket . This chick is a duplicitous sank as is Margorie Taylor Greene with her 2 schoompies ( although I have a hard time believing that there are 3 guys that hate their dicks in that much to want to stick them into that hot mess)
The laying under the car to prevent her from leaving is such a chump move. I didn’t do that but other cringy chump things that I would never do if I hadn’t been mindfucked and emotionally abused. I’m in a much better, saner mindset now, it just took time and no contact to get there.
As someone who works as crew in film and television, there is nothing that creates a more hostile working environment than seeing a Director or producer openly canoodling with a much younger actor on set.
I worked on a crappy feature film where a fiftysomething producer (who had been married) was kissing and touching the thirtysomething lead actress (whom he had left his wife for) in front of a very uncomfortable-looking crew.
And as a middle-aged woman, it was a reminder, “You want a job? You want to work and pay your bills? You gotta make some gross old man feel real good about himself.”
I worked in media too. I can go on and on and on and name names. I was repeatedly targeted as an intern trying to be a producer. In the two cases I could prove wrongdoing, I made criminal reports. I thought for sure it would stop as I gained a rep as a difficult target and made traction in my career but that wasn’t the case. I also watched as other women had the screws put to them. Too many went along with it and those that didn’t would end up crying in bathroom stalls or on the drive home. It was equally horrifying to be a bystander to it. Men were also traumatized in those dynamics. I knew a young producer who had serial nightmares about the time he worked with Harvey Weinstein. Otherwise I met very few people who didn’t go belly up for the creeps or become creeps themselves.
So… many commendations to you for hating it. It means you didn’t become one of them. The only thing I don’t regret about the experience is occasionally running into the few that got through it with their souls intact. The conspiratorial glee and relief at meeting someone who also didn’t “succumb” or end up spinning apologias for it is like getting a bit of back combat pay for the disillusionment and trauma.
What remains so destructively toxic about film and TV is not the outright criminal behaviour (ie. rape, assault). That has been deemed unacceptable since #metoo, but only because it exposes the production company to costly liabilities.
What continues unabated are pernicious psychological abuses (bullying, discrimination) and exploitative working conditions (long hours, no sick pay, no job security).
Like any abusive relationship, we spackle with, “I love my job,” or “the pay is good,” or “the next gig will be better,” or “what other work can I get?!”
She’s garbage, just like my ex. Looking to take full custody of one or both boys because she sucks and can’t handle the consequences of her decisions.
I woke up this morning wondering what I’d ever done to Google that it was putting Olivia Wilde’s “free the nipple” pix on my news feed despite the fact I constantly click the “don’t show me this again” tab for cheap celeb reports. Oh, now I get it. She cheated and now the media is doing a sort of clickbait poll to see if it makes her more popular as she does a Scarlet O’Hara and wears the equivalent of (nipple-baring spangled) crimson after getting busted.
I’m guessing the promotion of cheaters is some kind of indirect backlash against “cancel culture” and #MeToo because the corporate media can hardly come out and say the public should stop rejecting rapists in high places and line up for Woody Allan films again. Call it “creep homeopathy” to make us tolerant of slightly lesser forms of creepery in the hopes we’ll eventually tolerate the full dose.
In any case, yet again I have this feeling that the corporate media is trying to force the public to embrace cheaters and side dishes. My feed has also exploded with stories of the late John Le Carre’s bleary spurned mistress promoting her cheesy tell-all. But I don’t think the cheater promotional campaign is working. Whatever happened to Dominic West for example? After the blitz of reports on his cheating scandal with Lily Whatsit peaked, there was a flurry of glamorizing showbiz promos for both that quickly died out and the two pretty much disappeared off the radar.
And In Chile where Pablo Neruda was once considered a national treasure, the poet has been virtually cancelled after his admission that he’d raped a chambermaid was published. It seems the news of the rape put new light on the fact he’d also abandoned his wife and disabled daughter. Students boo if Neruda is on the curriculum so he’s taught less and less in schools. The Neruda Society complains that we shouldn’t confuse the personal with artistic expression. But not every artist agrees. There’s a chapter in the memoir of the late, great composer Dmitri Shostakovich that begins with the hilarious one-liner, “I hate Toscanini.” He goes on to argue that, in his assessment, sadists never make truly great artists but merely create spellbinding cults of personality that convince the undiscerning of the sadist’s “greatness.” He tells stories, names recognizable names from the hallowed halls of 20th century classical music and art and the horrible things they did before ginsuing their work. When Toscanini gifted Shostakovich with recordings of the former’s work, Shostakovich described making use of the gifts by giving the recordings to people he didn’t like.
Funny I have a poem that starts ‘I hate Henry Miller…’ because of a particularly trite and erudite rationalization from FW
You are right on. I see alot of polyamory articles. Media trying to normalize it. Its messed up when you realize you agree with YE(formerly Kanye West), about how the media is trying to influence society.
I have been following this drama for a few months and wondered when the cheating suspicions would finally be confirmed. Well-done, nanny, for outing the truth. Poor Jason.
Also, a little schadenfreude–apparently Olivia’s people asked Harry’s people if they could have pictures taken on the red carpet together at some gala; Harry said no. (insert smirk). How long do we give them? Taking bets….
Shades of Pharma Bro’s humiliation of cheater Christie Smythe. Come to think of it, except for the wanker tatts and advanced photo-aging, Styles has a similar piggy face to Martin Shkreli. I’m not sure if this effect is due to bone structure or just the lack of character shining through. Yes, I’m slut shaming side boys.
I’ve been following this and what’s happening to Alice Evans (I feel for her so much, was chumpped via the “I just don’t love you anymore”, went to socials about her pain, discovered she was dumped for AP, went to socials to blow affair up the FW has now slapped a gag order on her for 3 yrs, cannot mention him or schmoopies name, had to delete all socials about the split and affair and now she has been gagged schmoopie and FW have been safe enough to gush about their twu wuv online.)
Following both stories has just left me mad at the unfairness, society’s morality is so fluid, very much a pick and choose ethics buffet.
Don’t despair. The narrative is changing.
Ghastly columnist in today’s Daily Mail tried to blame “all three” for this mess. Apparently Jason S said something negative in 2016 to Olivia, which is of course carte blanche for her to cheat. How dare he, etc.
She’s getting walloped in the comments by some very Chump Nation responses.
Here you go. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11327683/MAUREEN-CALLAHAN-knows-takes-blame-tossed-salad-Wilde-Sudeikis-Styles-scandal.html
Tossed salad? No, bagged salad.
Hey Lola, it was the same deal with Evans, like you said about Jason S, Evans, apparently, said something mean (and frankly hilarious if she said it) so that was apparently enough “abuse” to cheat on her, if he was going to. Like Olivia, FW is not actually admitting to it, just trying to paint the chump as the bad guy who deserved to be cheated on if one choose to do so. Shift blame example #317
I didn’t know about this. How awful to be chumped, shamed and then gagged.
The way she wrote about her blindsided trauma was so visceral and the media flayed her alive because of it. Schmoopie is a real creeper too, was liking Alice’s picture posts of her kids, date stamp 3yrs earlier. The media ripped Evans apart, compared unflattering non-smiling pics against the “flawless” touched up pics of schmoopie flashing her veneers in her bikini, they always made it a point to compared the “old” “jilted” “bitter” “ex actress” turned frumpy housewife against the shiny bubbly newer “popular” “breakthrough” actress. The media were just horrible, disrespectful, mocked Evans pain.
The affair duo even tried some PR to make schmoopie look less creeper-ho, articles about schmoopies “battle” with MS (because people who are sick are angels right??) popped up, how FW is happy now because of her and, bizarrely, the media published a comment given by schmoopies makeup artist that there was no affair because the makeup artist never saw anything to suggest otherwise, like… ok… so the chick who spends, what an hour a workday (?) with schmoopie never saw them bump uglies so it couldn’t have happened??? It was the dumbest excuse why an affair couldn’t have happened that I read.
Anyway, sadly, Evans had to remove it all and now the affair pair have been posting their loved up trash a lot more, the smear campaign has started too, Evans isn’t allowed to defend her self publicly against any of it.
It happened around the same time as Jason Sudeikis blindside but I’m thinking since I’m not American it’s why my newsfeeds had equal coverage of both affairs? IDK, I feel for them both, Sudeikis with laying in front of the car, Evans using her socials like a hourly dairy… those early Dday reactions and emotions we can relate.
The UK legal system can curb freedom of speech in ways that aren’t possible in the US. I looked this up after watching the film “Denial” about the UK slander case: https://scholarworks.law.ubalt.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1516&context=lf
Coincidentally without knowing who Jason sudeikis is my new partner and I randomly started watching ‘Ted Lasso’ the other night and I can truely say that it an absolutely awesome show and definitely a good one for us chumps who have been replaced by the newer appliances. My partner who has also been divorced but not through cheating also thought it had a lot to offer. I laughed, I cried it’s as funny as hell. I really recommend this show chumps and even though in one episode the main character bans schadenfreude I am so glad Jason is getting his with his show Ted Lasso being a success and her movie being a flop!
Rumor is she gave away her dog to be with the little singer boy.
So there is more insight into how awful she is.
Olivia is one of those cheaters who never has remorse. She’ll do whatever she has to do to get what she wants and to hell with whoever she tramples on to get it. She’ll never be sorry.
Apple needs to have the tagline to catch a cheater. Their sharing software got everyone’s back.
I am the only one that is floored that Styles is with a woman? This is the big news in my house. My 17 yo son is broken hearted.
This poor man! And now I’m going to have to boycott Olivia Wilde’s and Harry Styles’ work.
Chump Lady, I doubt she cares how Harry Styles dresses. She’s probably more interested in how he looks undressed.
Unfortunately, no matter what he wears, or doesn’t wear, he’s a no character AP.
Yes I agree. Better for him to stay silent and let her address it. I have witnessed a bunch of divorces and the ones that fare the best dont say anything. Sure they tell close friends and family, but dont air dirty laundry. Eventually the gossip train dries up because nothing fueling it. If you live in a small community, this works well. Seems to make people respect the chump, instead of calling them a crazy bitter Betty. Learned alot from witnessing it. It gets out that FW is a dirtbag.
“Ziggy Stardust and a checkered table cloth!”
I love you, CL.
I think you’re reaching and in serious need of content to post.