I have an idea for a Friday Challenge based on a recent post. Politichump wrote:
“The worst part of this is that his wife and I actively supported this “political” partnership, believing that it was important and empowering to support strong male-female coworkers.
And now those two are living together while we share custody of our three small children 50/50.”
From this I thought there could be a “what you unknowingly did for the OW/OM”.
This is from my own experience: I’m a chef with a small event catering business. When FW started seeing his longest lasting AP he once asked her if she wanted me to cook for her. I discovered the texts later of course. Thankfully she declined, but if not I would have spent my business time and resources cooking for her as a “gift” for a “friend”.
She was also a grad student and on numerous occasions FW had me r̶e̶w̶r̶i̶t̶e̶ proofread her friend’s papers. (I also hold an advanced degree in English Literature). I’m sure he was telling them it was his work. I think the only thing that kept him from having me proofread AP’s papers was the “twu wuv” he had for her. He was willing to do anything including spending hours and hours on her papers. I’ve often joked that her degree should have his name on it as well. Oh well.
What do you think?
I think most of us chumps have been there, Living Free. I paid the bar tab for an OW who was invited to my wedding. Score!
Sometimes FWs feel generous — partner appliances can be of use for Schmoopies too! But mostly I think it’s part of the sick thrill of humiliating someone unknowingly. The duper’s delight. Being the puppet master and no one can see the strings. Except Schmoopie, of course. Who is either enlisted in the conspiracy (yea! free term papers!) or has to do a pick-me dance with your competence. My wife is a great cook and writer. What do you bring to the table?
This blog has a bazillion examples of this behavior, which really underscores that being chumped is nothing personal. (Of course, it feels very personal.) You were just of use.
Ouch! Tracy! That’s cold.
It is. And when you see cheating through that lens, the behavior makes sense. Cake = more potential sources of usefulness. Abandonment = you’re useful until you’re not. Hoovering = could you be of use again?
Everything is transactional to a FW.
So, CN, what did you unknowingly do for Schmoopie?