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Helen Skelton Living Her Best Life After Being Chumped

Helen_SkeltonHi Chump Lady,

I thought you might enjoy some chump mightiness that’s been beamed into British homes this week on our celebrity dancing TV show, Strictly Come Dancing. One of the contestants, wildlife presenter Helen Skelton, was recently chumped after the birth of her third child — and on this week’s show, for her ‘couple’s choice’ dance, she really went for it in a routine that she said made her finally feel herself again.

The dance is being interpreted as a bit of a ‘f*** you’ to the ex-hubby and I think it’s totally fab, enjoy!

Thanks for reading!

LondonChump xx

****

Hi LondonChump,

Thanks for the great Tuesday (When The Pain Stops) blog fodder!

Richie
Source: Instagram

A big CN salute to Helen Skelton. Her douche now-ex-husband, Richie Myler — shown here sporting 90s bad Dad denim shorts — left her for Stephanie Thirkill, his boss’s daughter. I’m sure the whole gazillionaire dad thing is just a coincidence. Only twu luv could inspire a FW to dump his wife and three kids. The wallet heart wants what the heart wants.

Crazy how they just moved in together four months after Skelton’s childbirth. No one is coming out and saying Myler cheated on his wife when she was pregnant. While Skelton was balancing parenthood, a job, and leaky tits, Myler just happened to fall into the arms of a sympathetic trustafarian. Could happen to anyone. With an empty elevator shaft for a soul.

But a devastated Skelton pulled it together and… auctioned off their wedding gifts. Kudos Helen!

And then she went on to give a spectacular performance on Strictly Come Dancing. Take a moment to play compare and contrast between Mr. Acid Wash Denim Shorts and Gorka Marquez’s chiseled pecs. Who would you rather have twirl you around the dance floor? Moreover, Marquez’s left tap shoe has more moral sense than Myler.

Here’s the final fuck-off number. Enjoy! Happy Tuesday, CN!

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  • Here are the lyrics to the number she’s dancing to. Mein Herr from Cabaret.

    You have to understand the way I am, mein Herr
    A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb, mein Herr
    You’ll never turn the vinegar to jam, mein Herr
    So I do, what I do
    When I’m through, then I’m through
    And I’m through, toodle-oo
    Bye bye mein lieber Herr, farewell mein lieber Herr
    It was a fine affair, but now it’s over
    And though I used to care, I need the open air
    You’re better off without me mein Herr
    Don’t dab your eye, mein Herr, or wonder why mein Herr
    I’ve always said that I was a rover
    You mustn’t knit your brow
    You should have known by now
    You’d every cause to doubt me mein Herr
    The continent of Europe is so wide, mein Herr
    Not only up and down, but side to side, mein Herr
    I couldn’t ever cross it if I tried, mein Herr
    But I do what I can, inch by inch
    Step by step, mile by mile
    Man by man
    Bye bye mein lieber Herr
    Farewell mein lieber Herr
    It was a fine affair, but now it’s over
    And though I used to care, I need the open air
    You’re better off without me mein Herr
    Don’t dab your eye, mein Herr, or wonder why mein Herr
    I’ve always said that I was a rover
    You mustn’t knit your brow
    You should have known by now
    You’d every cause to doubt me mein Herr
    Bye bye mein lieber Herr
    Auf Wiedersehen, mein Herr
    Es war sehr gut, mein Herr, und vorbei
    Du kennst mich wohl, mein Herr
    Ach, Lebewohl, mein Herr
    Du sollst mich nie mehr sehen mein Herr
    Bye bye mein lieber Herr
    Auf Wiedersehen
    Es war sehr gut, und vorbei
    Du kennst mich wohl, mein Herr
    Ach, Lebewohl
    Du sollst mich nie
    And bye bye
    Bye bye mein lieber Herr
    Farewell mein lieber Herr
    It was a fine affair, but now it’s over
    And though I used to care, I need the open air
    You’re better off without me mein Herr
    Auf Wiedersehen
    Es war sehr gut (mein)
    Du kennst mich wohl (Herr)
    Ach, Lebewohl
    Bye bye mein Herr, auf Wiedersehen
    Bye bye mein lieber Herr

      • Yes, very clearly flipping the bird against her cheek, hah. Nothing says “I know he cheated” more than risking censorship. The aptly named Thirkill (thirsty killer?) will discover what a prize she’s won when she reaches the same “expiration/sell by” age that Skelton was at the time of the big discard. For his part, Myler will discover what happens to aging tattooed manhos who displease the spoiled spawn of billionaire thugs.

        • Or when she realizes she won a coward who would sneak around on his kids and the mother of his kids. What a prize. Maybe it will occur to her that he traded down for rea$on$.
          I saw on an IG post, a reminder that the chump’s name, memories, and accomplishments are a source of constant antagonism in the cheater+homewrecker relationship. Relish that, my friends. You don’t even have to say a word.
          Good on this lady!

          • I’m not sure I believe in karma but character is often fate. The actress Linda Hamilton was laughing in an interview about what she represents in ex James Cameron’s current marriage which overlapped his relationship to Hamilton. She smirked and said, “Now I’m the gargoyle at the end of the bed.” The pathetic part of is that the OWife in the situation had been traumatically cheated on in a previous marriage but it didn’t stop her from having an affair with a director whom everyone in the world knew was living with the mother of his child. The OWife, a formerly beautiful and not untalented actress, rapidly shriveled into a dust ball after being married to Cameron for a few years. I think she’s done some eco activism in recent years but her career died at the alter and it seems like her basic physical health did as well.

    • She didn’t miss it. Did you see the moment she put her middle finger up by her face? lol Watch it again!

  • I loved this when I watched too. Especially her mouthing the words, she was in bits when the competition started and I’m so happy for her and her growing strength, unstoppable, like us all when we finally get going. Go Helen, if I had your knees I’d do it too!

  • Love THIS SO MUCH!!!! This tune was on my breakup playlist (with Liza Minelli, of course) auf Wiedersehen FW!!!!

  • Perfect! And extra appreciation points because Traitor Ex is first generation American of German parents! This deserves the first spot on my playlist!

    Fun fact….Traitor Ex misspells his own very common German middle name.

    Not a good sign.

  • It’s been said many times before, but pregnancy cheaters are the lowest single-celled organism in the primordial swamp. Them and FWs with sick spouses or sick children. Hate them.
    You use somebody as a human incubator for your offspring, and then you tell yourself you’re entitled to cheat because pregnant chump can’t swing from the chandelier like schmoopie? Because pregnancy changes her body? Yeah, fuck you denim shorts!

    • Or recently bereaved chumps (my dad died only a few weeks before he left and he stood at the grave and pretended to mourn – I will never forgive him for that).

      • The only single positive to this MightyWarrior (being as it also happened to me) is it makes that really really look like they stink. Everyone at that funeral still says, and he was stood there by your side knowing exactly what his plan was…… basically the affair, betrayal etc is bad enough and this makes them look the most horrendous douche on the planet (bit like leaving someone when/just after they are preggers) – Awful as it is I’ve always felt it meant I never questioned the ‘trust that they suck’ mantra. xx

        • Mine went to the pub while we were preparing food after my dads funeral and got shit faced. I walked down there to bring the car back and my BIL threw him into a hedge! He then came home all gobby and spoiling for a fight, just what we all needed!

  • That feels like getting great satisfaction from dreaming you did that, but then waking up to discover that you actually did!! ‘Toodle-oo’ dickhead. 👋
    Bravo Helen, that was spectacular!!👏

  • This beautiful and athletic woman dispels all myths that the wife/mother is unattractive, not sexy, not interesting etc.
    If I were a betting woman, I would say her very public freedom dance put her FW and any flying monkeys in a hard position. How do you explain any of the nasty, poor pitiful me, what was I to do, sad-sausage dialogue he has spewed to explain his non-defensible actions? Well done! BRAVO!!!

    • Let’s see if the affair is re-visited in the press with a more nuanced approach. Maybe responsible journalists should have to retract their “twu love” articles or be boycotted.

  • If this isn’t the physical embodiment of “the best form of revenge is living well” delivered through the medium of music and dance, then I don’t know what is.

    Helen Skelton owns this on an absolutely inter-planetary level.

    LFTT

    • …Yes! And on national television with YouTube viewings available 24/7! Not something your average chump can pull off. On behalf of the chumped, THANK YOU, Helen! I love that the television show producers let her use that song! #Chumpywinning

  • The fuckwit husband & the spoiled entitled heiress (who obviously knew he was married with kids & pregnant wife but I’m sure he spinned a tale of “woe is me” unhappiness too) may they live happily ever after knowing the other one is shit people. Amen.

  • Damn. I’m late for work because I’m watching this on repeat. What an awesome fuck you. hahahaha. PS Do you think schmoopie’s daddy will allow her to marry a cheater with three babies? hahahaha.

    • Roaring, Well, she’s a legal adult, so the only thing he can do is withhold…shoot, I don’t know how to do a pounds symbol on my keyboard. And if she already has a trust fund, and it can’t be changed, good luck with that.Hopefully he’ll advise her to get a prenup, or whatever the British equivalent is, and she’ll listen.

      If not…I suspect she’s going to learn some hard lessons. I hope she’s unable to access the principal of her trust fund; if not, I suspect this guy will talk her into draining it, and then walk.

      • I know she’s an adult…but she’s had a big marriage already and this asshole’s prospects are only going to get worse (how’s he going to pay child support? He’s no Roy Kent). Daddy’s money could exert a lot of influence. Except I guess she’s pregnant?

        Did you ever watch ‘Dr. Foster’? Dad wasn’t a billionaire, but nevertheless, pregnant schmoopie returned to the family home and loser FW had to live with himself.

  • I don’t normally watch Strictly, but holed up in my little house with pneumonia, I was flicking through the telly for something to take my mind off, and behold ! I saw Helen Skelton looking absolutely *fabulous*, spitting in the eye of her fuck up fuckwit, with the gorgeous Gorka, and felt cheered up and renewed. Helen, you’re a *star* !💫👏💫

  • Oh my, but this timely for me! I was having a discussion with a friend about FUs and how danged tempting it is to execute one.

    Backstory: I recently achieved a life-long goal when a story I wrote was published by a huge national magazine with almost 2 million readers. Because I am completely NC with Cheating Bastard Ex, he does not know about it and, out of respect for me, my adult daughters will not be telling him.

    I told my friend the knowledge that I finally accomplished something I’ve long desired to do is enough. But to be honest, it would be a huge FU, and I’ve secretly harbored this fantasy he would inadvertently be told by someone in our town…
    I guess there’s still a little devil left in me as I work my way to meh. 😋

    • TDMC,

      Achieving something that your Cheater either actively conspired against or undermined by saying that you would never achieve is incredibly liberating.

      Go you!

      LFTT

      • Thx LFTT!
        He honestly could have cared less that I was pursuing writing again. Never read any of it. So no active undermining, but instead total indifference, which is the epitome of churlishness in my mind.

        • TDMC,

          I achieved a massive promotion at work about a month after our divorce was finalised; a promotion that Ex-Mrs LFTT always said that I wasn’t good enough to achieve and one that I didn’t deserve, because other people were so much better than me. Furthermore, she always resented the effort that I put into achieving it, and she openly criticised me in front of our children for daring to try. Sadly for her – as a result of it’s timing and the fact that she had already signed up to a clean break – she didn’t receive a penny of either the significant pay rise, or the associated increase in pension benefits.

          I understand that she didn’t so much “spit feathers” as “spit the whole chicken” when she found out.

          LFTT

        • I have written several small articles for mid-level mags, and a few scientific papers. XAss, at the time I started to do so, was hugely jealous but tried to hide it. He never supported me in my endeavors and covertly tried to derail me. Then he decided that if I could get published, he could too. He kept on getting rejected. I tried to give him solid advice on how to pitch a piece, how to edit it for the audience, and tried to alert him to his very big issue with run-on sentences and overly florid prose. This advice of course was soundly rejected. He was never published.

    • Congratulations, TDMC!

      Maybe FW will find it via lurking on your social media or Googling your name the next time he has the sadz and is tempted to hoover.

      • Thx OHFFS!
        His social media skills are limited to hook up sites or porn, so it is doubtful he’ll see it. I also authored it under my maiden name, so there’s that. And I’ve got him blocked everywhere else, so truthfully I’ll never know. And I’m good with that!

  • I had never heard of her, so I Googled, and learned that she’s a pretty extraordinary athlete/sportswoman – has run marathons including an ultra-marathon, kayaked the entire Amazon River, tightrope walked, and bicycled to the South Pole, most of it before her marriage. Wow! Looks like she’s finding herself again!

  • Another London chump here. Helen Skelton was and is an inspirational woman for many reasons. Solo kayaking the length of the Amazon earning her two Guinness Book of Records entries in 2010. Only the second woman to complete the 78 mile Namibian ultra marathon in 2009. She’s completed the London marathon three times (same number as me but sadly I’m far from able to kayak or run 78 miles). What about her tightrope walk between the two towers of Battersea Powerstation at 66 metres high, which has to be seen to be believed. Utterly terrifying. First person to reach the South Pole by bike. Guinness Record for the fastest 100km by kite ski. This woman is a force of nature. She wrote a novel in 2015. Three kids, the youngest born in early 2022. Former Blue Peter presenter. She supported her husband’s Rugby career by, amongst other things, moving to France with him. Their marriage was clearly not all about her. What I find interesting is that the OW, famous for nothing except a rich dad, announced her pregnancy on Intsa recently ie while Helen was bringing the house down on Strictly. But Helen and her wonderfully supportive parents, her friends, the beautiful Gorka, the cast of Strictly and us, the public, surrounded her with love and she held it together. And this past weekend she brought the house down. She is the epitome of ‘Leave A Cheater And Make Your Life Even More Spectacular Than It Was Already’. Helen, you are a shining star and you give me hope! Apologies if I’m repeating what others have said below. But this deserves saying many, many times.

    • This is simply an astonishing resume.. thanks MW for the info. No doubt the shady cheater rugby guy was always jealous of her achievements and her life force. Helen is a star!

  • What an absolute shit heel he is! Glad she sold the presents and kudos for moving on without him.

    “In October it was revealed the couple are expecting their first child together.”

  • This made me so happy and I watched the Mein Herr dance multiple times – thank you for sharing, London Chump! And perfectly snarky comments by CL, as always.

    But I was dumb enough to go down the rabbit hole and found these comments about the girlfriend’s pregnancy . . .

    A friend of his said:

    “Stephanie and Richie are obviously thrilled.

    “They have moved very quickly but are extremely happy together.

    “The timing of the pregnancy may raise a few eyebrows though.

    “But Richie and Helen maintain cordial relations, and in a way the timing is actually perfect as Helen is so happy at the moment.”

    Aargh . . . the pregnancy is okay because Helen is protecting her kids by being cordial, and because she is so happy at the moment?!? 🤬

    I wonder how many idiots will write all of this off because ‘everybody does it’, and/or ‘everybody is happy’ logic. The narrative HAS to change.

    • Yes, Dude-ette, I also joined you down that rabbit hole today! I also found some quotes from the OW asking that people be kind to her and stop referring to her as a “homewrecker” during this “special time”, so she can enjoy her pregnancy… Way to go Stef, you sound like a real prize!

    • And that was their narrative, not Helen Skelton’s narrative. When her parents were featured on Strictly on Friday evening, their body language spoke volumes. I fancy her father and mother have a lot that they would like to say but out of respect for their daughter and grandchildren including a baby not yet a year old they are holding back.

  • What a triumph!

    I may be reading too much into it, but I think she knew she was dancing not just for herself but others of us out there.

    Thank you Helen!

  • Thirty year old (college grad celebrity professional) woman marries 23 year old (rugby player) man. I never could have seen this (shit show) coming.
    PS: Wouldn’t be complete without a now large bun in schmoopie’s oven! (Can’t believe you didn’t mention that CL! 😂)

  • Go Helen!!!! I’m so inspired by her. Like Helen, I was chumped at age 39 a few months after my 3rd child’s birth. And like Helen, I also used to do epic physical stuff involving international trips – though not to Helen’s level of mightiness! 😍 Here’s to a 2023 for all of us full of chasing our dreams and getting back to the energetic people we used to be before the stupid cheater trauma harmed us!

  • Yes knew Helen from countryfile and some other WL progs always liked her seeming straight up down home good sort style very pretty easily likeable way she came across when I first saw this I thought that she was the one that fell (don’t watch strictly) but heard it can be deadly for relationships so quickly made that assumption until I read foreword and was glad to see that I was wrong because I was very surprised,it is strange but never thought she would have been such and was born out to be so, so sorry for her pain but she also always came across as a tough cookie not to say that getting side smashed out of the blue can down the toughest of us but it comes down to the strength to come about and be stronger and wiser than before. wish her well for her future.

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