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UBT: The OW Who Just Wants to Help

condescendThe Universal Bullshit Translator just can’t get enough of supercilious, OW twatwaffle condescension. It’s like popcorn to the UBT. Popped fresh from Satan’s own blast furnace.

Amazon chump sent in a doozy:

My ex’s OW sent me the below email when he decided to stay married to me after I filed for divorce. Stupidly I believed him. He started fooling around with her again within a couple of years. I didn’t waste any time the second time around. I divorced his adulterous ass. Now he’s with his skank. I’d love the UBT to work on this:

Your wish is the UBT’s command, Amazon chump!

My therapist thought it might be helpful for you to have this information.

My therapist thought you might find my harassment information helpful.

I have really wanted to reach out to you many times in the past, but I just wasn’t sure how and what to say.

“I’m fucking your husband” is a nice ice breaker.

Let me first say that I apologize for what you have been through and are still going through.

I’m so sorry for that nebulous Thing you are Going Through. Of which I have no pronouns or active verbs. Sometimes Things just engulf us, like sarin gas. Or fall from the sky like anvils. Who knows why? It’s one of God’s little mysteries. I don’t know what you did to piss off God, but I’m sorry for you.

You have a lot of life ahead of you and my sincere wish is that you find a true healthy relationship.

My sincere wish is that you find a true, healthy relationship like I did, fucking a married man for years.


I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him.

I firmly believe my affair is God-ordained. Unlike your marriage. And despite the whole thou shall not commit adultery commandment. God makes exceptions if we just trust in Him.

Although we have been house-hunting and planning for the future (living together, cruise/trips, one truck, not two, etc.),

Am I gloating? Hey, God’s plan. Just one truck. That I share with your husband… to GPS his ass.

Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.

I keep him on a very short leash. I’d tether him to a bedpost if I could. The way best friends do.


I respect this but my concern is really for you.

I’m concerned you’ll win the pick me dance.

In order for you to have a healthy relationship you first must have a truthful relationship.

You can accept relationship advice from the woman who’s fucking your husband. Trust me.

You asked me before for information which I declined to provide, but I believe for you to move forward in the relationship, address the issues, you have to have full disclosure.

Please be the hypotenuse in my triangle! Don’t you want information that only I can give? Can’t you just beg pretty for it, so I can deny you and say it’s for your own good? KIBBLES!

Otherwise you are doomed to continue the life you had which you have acknowledged was unhealthy and unhappy for over 26 years.

DOOMED! If I don’t get some kibbles, shit’s about to get VERY ugly.

I don’t know if you both can overcome the past as sometimes there is too much to get beyond and rebuilding trust is very difficult if it can be done.

But I do know for certain that you will never be able to overcome the past if you don’t address it and in order to do that you need to have full disclosure which Dave will not provide.

You need us.

We’re all about honesty and full disclosure, except for Dave. Who won’t provide you with any details. But you should work harder to trust him. Or you’re doomed.

You also need a third party to help you with this so I hope you will continue with your therapist or a couples therapist.

I’ve been a side-dish fuck for years. I know all about third parties.

Work on my your issues.

I’d rather not go into a lot of details in an Email

I try to avoid anything like legal documentation. I prefer in-person mindfuckery.

but am available to meet with you in person in a neutral setting or even in the safety of a counseling session if you are willing to do so. I am not proud of my participation but suffice it to say that for over 11 years of your 26-year marriage, there has been a daily intense emotional and physical relationship between he and I that has included many out of state/in state trips (including M****, camping with the girls, MN, NC, TX, OK, AZ, CO, CA), countless meetings in homes, offices, public places, shared workouts/walks, gift exchanges, thousands of phone calls, Emails, there’s nothing we didn’t discuss and many, many lies and deception to you.

I’m not proud of those 11 years of shared workouts, gift exchanges, phone calls, emails, and surreptitiously fucking your husband. When I was roasting marshmellows with your girls around a campfire, I thought, “Gosh, Amazon Chump should be here to see the precious memories I’m making with her children.”

That daily intense emotional and physical relationship with your husband is something I regret. Daily. 24/7. Yes, I’m free next Wednesday, Dave!

I left off Rhode Island, foot massages, and putt-putt golf.

You may not believe me, but I have always regretted and will live with it until I die how you were made to doubt your own self-worth! You’ve been second guessing yourself and said in an Email that you’ve “been played for a fool”. And I know this because I have been made to feel the same way!

I’m a victim too! ME! In fact, my pain is greater than your pain. The regrets I’m burdened with… they’ll haunt me until the day I die. Just the other day, when I was house shopping — with your husband — I felt a twinge of sorrow. I had to lie down. And fuck your husband. It passed.

I was applauding you for taking charge of your life, seeking counseling, filing for divorce and recognizing the woman you can be!


You have to decide what kind of individual you want a lifetime relationship with and I know you have not always held males in high regard

You’re a hairy-legged, man-hating lezbo, aren’t you? That’s why you can’t keep your husband satisfied. Maybe you should consider dating women, seeing as you hate men. Just a friendly suggestion!

but I hope you know that you don’t have to settle for anything—what you’ve endured is not normal and not what you or any woman deserves.

I am not normal. I settle for side dish fucks. I don’t deserve better. Let me cloak those difficult thoughts in heavy spackle and projection.

Of course you could choose to disregard this Email, act as if all of this is in the past and just move on together, but then you will continue to live the same life you have had for 26 years and the odds are great that the same patterns will continue.

I’m not going anywhere, bitch.

Talk with your therapist about this—what do you need to move on and how to move on for you, and/or for you and Dave as a couple.

I saw a therapist when we were ending a 32 year marriage and one of the hardest things I had to get through my head was the idealization of a relationship that just wasn’t.

Apparently, it never got through my head as I’ve spent 11 years as an OW. Excuse me, confidante/best friend.

The therapist even got frustrated with me

Imagine that.

because I kept saying, “well, if we could go back”, “if he would just do this”, “if I would do that”, etc. What I had to learn was that the relationship I had thought we could have was just not possible because that is not who he and I were together. My regret is that F* and I did not end amicably.

It’s shocking that F wasn’t amiable about me screwing other men. I regret his unreasonable animosity.

Should you want to discuss more I will respond to you. Should you not want to discuss further I will not ask again. Either way, I hope you accept this Email as it is intended.

I hope it fucks with your head. I hope you think of me always and forever. When you’re shaving your legs — Twatwaffle! When you’re standing in line at the DMV — Twatwaffle! When you’re filling your taxes — Twatwaffle!

Please accept my desire to be utterly central. Kibbles!

I told you when you visited my office that I was speaking from my caring about you, a fellow human being.

A fellow human being, but a lesser one. I care about man-hating, batshit crazy lezbos. I speak with kindness to all of God’s inferior creatures.

I wish you the best whether you are able to work through the issues and come out as a stronger couple, or if you amicably decide otherwise.

Keep it amiable! I’d hate for you to come after me with a gun.

Take care of yourself,

Fuck off and die.


Satan’s Affectionate Bitch

Shits After Belching

Sweet Ass Bandit


Happy Boxing Day. An updated UBT.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at Read more about submission guidelines.
  • There has been so many devious, hysterically funny letters from side-pieces over the years of reading ChumpLady, but this one really beats them all. I think the medical term for the writer would be ‘looney tunes’.

  • TL;DR – she is slowly realizing first prize in the pick-me dance is Dave, the Sparkly Turd, and she now wants LW to prop up her crumbling ego.

    The best response to this hilarious wordspew is blocking her everywhere.

    Thank you, UBT!

  • We chumps frequently are just baffled by our former marriage partners behavior. This letter demonstrates the twisted thinking behind the inexplicable. Trust that they suck people!

  • This barely makes any sense at all. I don’t know what kind of legit therapist would even begin to encourage this.

    I’m active in a 12-step group, and making amends is very different than this. Making amends can lead to healing and peace, but this is power-over and stick-it-to-you.

    This OW is a mess. Stay away!

    • I’ll say she’s a mess. Can you imagine what it took to compose this? Sure it’s crap, but a lot of thought and effort went into it. The mental space she’s given to the chump is just astounding.

    • Elsie, the only reason I can think of to meet with this person would be if the divorce was taking place in a fault state. In that case, maybe information from the AP would help the case. Although it seems to me that the email is pretty compromising. If it was me, I’d ask my lawyer. Otherwise, ignore and block.

  • Oh, where to begin. A shorter version of this e-mail might read “You must move on and live your best life because otherwise we can’t really totally absolutely kill off the last itty bitty tiny struggling fragment of what passes for a conscience over how badly we fucked you over. How selfish of you!”

    I particularly loved the part that started “I am not proud of my participation but suffice it to say …” and then goes on to boast of all the ways she fucked Amazon chump over.

  • Good heavens, having this OW as a “friend” is like having Dr. Kevorkian as your primary care physician 😬 #justsayin’

    • Nah, Kevorkian was mischaracterized and really was a merciful man trying to help people avoid suffering. This bitch is all about abuse and torture. They are not the same at all. I’d take Kevorkian any day over this shit.

  • Hard to believe an OW would put this into words, much less in writing. Exhibit A for financial abuse, laying out all those trips and gift exchanges. It’s mind-boggling that she wants a man who’s cheated on his wife for11 years (that SHE knows of), and that she goes to the wife in an attempt to convince both of them that she has the high ground. It’s incredible that she’s so condescending and so convinced that he wants her more than he wants the wife.

    I’m surprised she didn’t say more about the kids. It’s disgusting that cheater took his daughters camping with the OW.

    I’m so glad that LW went through with divorce, and hope she’s doing well. I would be very tempted to break no contact and send her and Cheater this letter along with the responses from Chump Lady and Chump Nation. And maybe copy her friends, family, coworkers, etc. What a loon.

    Thanks, LW, for sharing. Her goal was to hurt you and deter you. Instead, she has provided entertainment for more people than she can imagine.

  • I hope Amazon Chump’s attorney and the judge enjoy reading that as much as I did. All of those trips must have cost a pretty penny!

  • Holy Smokes words of derangement from Psycho queen herself.
    Personally, get this crap to the lawyer and see if you can get some modified order to keep your kids away from her. Unless they are adults.
    I think this letter triggered me. Damn. OW doesn’t even try to be nice.
    AW- block this person, if you don’t have custody, block the deadbeat ex. Sorry you had to deal with this, big hugs.

    • To quote Orwell, “The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.”

      The typical declared “helpful” aims of letters from APs are sort of like the innocuous packaging the Unibomber used to send homemade explosives. The “bomb” in this case was the bizarrely lengthy illustration of the extent of violation and betrayal. It looks like the real intent was to retraumatize and draw blood. Since it reads like an attempt to exorcise the AP’s secret fantasies of attacking the OP, I’d be checking my brake lines, warning friends and watching my back for awhile.

      • Hell of a Chump, 100%
        I read this letter as completely disingenuous and not at all designed to heal or answer questions. Personally I think the other woman wanted to dish on the details in hopes that Amazon Chump would go through with the divorce immediately and she would win the sparkly turd.

        • Oops, I misunderstood the timing. I thought the APs letter was a parting shot *after* the divorce. If it was before then, der, of course it’s “hurry up and divorce him so I can have his disordered magnificence. And in case you need more reasons, here’s all the ways you were screwed…” Desperate.

          I do hope the OP’s lawyer was able to get any “dissipation of a family assets” spent on those camping trips and any other “bonk expenses” back in the settlement. That letter could come in very handy in that sense.

  • Wow!!!! My lawyer said to Block the AP everywhere I could. So glad I listened. She would look up every social media lol. Even professional ones, but THIS email (insert every swear word here!) just enraged me. How hurtful to name all the places they spent with the kids! Hoping she blocked them both and only communicates about kids if needed. Great response CL!

    • Nothing says “We take child abuse and gaslighting across state lines” more than that list. I think it was meant to turn all those locations into “no go” zones for the OP, like “See all the places where I pissed in all four corners and left my stink! Do you feel good and violated?”

      Including that litany of places and dragging children along is kind of geographical rape if you think about it. The AP in my situation was a big consumer of pornographically violent crime fiction– the icky Patterson type stuff infamous for gruesomely graphic depictions of sexual violence against women. Is there some universal subconscious draw in a lot of OWs to sexually violate and torture other women? I remember that study showing associations between “rape myth acceptance” and “infidelity tolerance.” Are these women a bit rapey in their own right?

      Otherwise, what’s the deal with APs and turf grabbing? Why are they so bent on getting into victims’ houses, etc.? Why the impulse to move *towards* the victim? I feel such a reverse impulse– like I could catch some dread disease by being near objects the AP had breathed on or places she’d been even once. Because the affair was mostly staged around the AP’s dump in a part of the city near the major shopping mall, it was really limiting me ability to go around town and get things done and I had to ask friends to accompany me if I had errands to run in certain parts.

      • “Why the impulse to move toward the victim?”

        I think it’s pretty simple. These are disordered types – even if mildly disordered – who truly believe they *can* control other people. Including (especially!!!) us chumps. They also completely believe their own BS about how it’s in everyone’s best interests for FWs to be free to be with their twu wuvs without any complications like fair divorce settlements.

        I thank my lucky stars that my ex’s AP #2 didn’t try to reach out to me – she certainly was disordered enough to use this BS form of abuse to get me to divorce ex. AP #2 also pretended to care about my welfare during the torture following D-Day #2, but probably believed it herself, taking on the victim mantle since she, too, had been cheated on – but not in 20-year committed relationships with children. I certainly had zero interest in ever talking to AP #2.

        AP #2 still thought she could control me, though – just by means of ex. Not surprisingly, ex dropped AP #2 like a hot potato once the going got rough and I removed the possibility of cake. Even ex could see how disordered AP #2 is (she honestly believes she is psychic) and that our family collectively dodged a major bullet when AP #2 didn’t go full-on bunny boiler.

        • Lezchump wrote: “our family collectively dodged a major bullet when AP #2 didn’t go full-on bunny boiler.” (Very nervous laughter) Ditto. Two workplace “Deep Throats” screwed up the courage to contact me, even if anonymously, because they felt they couldn’t live with themselves in the case the AP went postal.

  • Gee, my therapist told me to do one relationship at a time. To not get into another relationship until I have fully processed the end of the one I am in. That people in committed relationships were unavailable. That people who have affairs have big problems and deep issues. That the lack of empathy is necessary to engage in an illicit relationship. That all relationships have problems and they are a normal part of any kind of relationship. That the response to those problems is the indicator of emotional maturity, mental health, and whether the empathy meter and the moral compass are working in an individual.

    I could go on about what my therapist taught me about relationships, but concerning affairs, it basically boils down to “individuals in affairs are fucked up”.

    I never considered having an affair. I never considered being a side piece. My response, if ever invited to participate in those situations, would be a hard NO.

    My MIRAGE (not marriage) was over the moment he wondered if he should or shouldn’t fuck around. I don’t know, and will probably never know, when that was.

    Affairs are inherently dysfunctional. There is no removing the dysfunction any more than you can get the eggs out of the cake batter. I don’t go to the butcher shop for bread and I don’t take relationship advice from those unqualified to dispense it. That goes double for unsolicited unqualified advice.

    Nice try, Side Piece. Take your own advice because you and Dave are the ones who need it. I have some unsolicited, but qualified, advice of my own for her. For starters, keep your mouth shut about what other people should do unless you are asked, and if you are asked, make sure your own side of the street is clean and you are qualified before answering.

  • Letters, thinking, like this is what makes it so hard to believe everything that is happening. Who in their right mind would run to this, instead of away. I will never understand. Can only trust that they suck

  • A belated Merry Christmas to all 🎄 .
    I couldn’t finish reading this as I could feel my blood pressure rising.
    Who the fuck is this bitch?! Oh my God is she some Supertwat from the planet Condesentia? Holy fuck! The hight of her superiority complex can only be seen.with the Hubble Telescope! In truth she’s a deluded MONSTER! How dare she not only fuck somebody’s husband but then say shit like,” I’d rather not discuss the details in an email ” then in the next snippet detail camping trips dinners meet ups.planning cruises and all the other self serving shit she spewed. What a fucking —– ! (I don’t say this often about women and definitely not in the presence of ladies, but you get my drift). I quit smoking 36 years ago and I quit drinking 44 years ago but after reading this crock of bullshit I could burn a pack of Marlboros and a 5th of bourbon right now….I’m going to opt for a cup of decaf but WOW!

  • Ah, flashbacks. As a media intern during college I reported a creepy older overlord at work for harassment and made a police report for “false imprisonment” (the ADA’s idea) because this douche blocked an exit while screaming threats at me. A former “mentor”–a retired professor and (now former) friend of my parents who also knew this perp from academic circles– wrote me this blathering letter admonishing me for “telling on” the creepy boss saying that I was denying my “part in it” and went into a long psychobabble spiel in which she “helpfully” pointed out how my “tendency” to “manifest” things like this would follow me all my life (aka, that I was “doomed”!).

    My mother told me that this woman had just called her and bragged about how that former boss had been inviting this retired professor to all sorts of glitzy media events. My mother reported asking why this woman why in the world she would think my mother wanted to hear these things. The woman apparently became angry and defensive, saying that my mother would take my side even when I was “wrong.” My mother ended up telling this woman that she wouldn’t tolerate anyone prying apart our family and hung up, effectively ending the relationship.

    Actually that boss had gone down a list of my contacts and had offered them all sorts of perks from the moment he was charged. Most called him out on it. The two pathetic people who took the perp’s bait– this ex mentor and one marginal acquaintance from school– then tried to cultivate more of my contacts to draw them onto “team perp.” It’s quite extraordinary how practiced perpetrators go to such lengths to destroy any potential support system for their victims while simultaneously getting ahead of the narrative and it’s diabolical how they manage to guess correctly in a few cases that bystanders can be bought and “metastasized” into toxic agents who will further undermine the victim’s support system. Amazing. But it’s not like these devils can cultivate normal people– only those who were secretly bent to begin with. The interesting part was how this elderly woman went belly up at the feet of an established monster for any chance to feel relevant in her career again, played the part of henchman to intimidate a witness for the prosecution and then, after establishing herself to be obviously sick in a head, TRIED TO PSYCHOANALYZE ME. Good Lord on wheels. To do this, she relied on a sliver of truth– that this wasn’t the first time I’d been harassed in that rapey, top-down, narc-filled industry (and wasn’t the last). But even in the pre-#MeToo era of rampant victim blaming I thought what she was doing was transparent. It was equivalent to how negging pick-up artists like to tell you you’ll never have a good relationship or be loved if you turn them down. She was trying to play on a young woman’s fear of being alone.

    So my guess is that the OW in the situation is A) is carrying out some assignment on behalf of FW. Maybe it has to do with settlement or stolen funds? There’s definitely an unstated, sneaky agenda going on; and B) the OW is running her mouth very widely; and C) things are getting mighty uncomfortable and doubtful in the OW’s relationship with FW– the thing for which she ate mountains of shit for years and sold out any remaining vestige of integrity she ever had. She senses the karma train coming round the bend and is trying to push the OP in front of it. The OW also knows she’s not psychologically normal or healthy.

    People with personality disorders believe the “truth” is only what one can make other people believe. And every accusation is a confession. From that letter I think it’s clear the OW senses she herself is doomed to die alone and unloved. My ex mentor apparently did last year.

  • LOL ‘I try to avoid anything like legal documentation. I prefer in-person mindfuckery.’


    so, my first thought was just ignoring her, but then i thought a hearty “F*&^ YOU” would be appropriate

    i just can’t get over all the ‘therapy speak’ from the scumbag OW like she thinks she’s ok now LOL and dares to give advise to ANYONE lol

    when i was in therapy i made my therapist laugh out loud when one day is said, ‘I’m OK, the rest of the world pisses me off’ so this claptrap from the OW made me recall that

    UBT is spot on as usual. But i might have to ignore the ‘better angels of my nature’ to respond to this horrible human who thinks she ‘knows stuff’ UGH

    what a disaster the OW is and yet she thinks she’s fine OMG, if i were her therapist i would fire her

    • Why respond to the OW when sending the letter to the UBT for public derision beats any personal comeback? The UBT is such a wonderful resource.

  • Couldn’t believe as I continued reading this how insecure and mentally ill this whore is! One day she will be cheated on by the creepy narcissistic cheater. Good for her.
    She’s nothing but a twisted cunt that deserves him! Very sick 🤢

    • Yep, honestly I think they all cheat again, and usually sooner.

      I know fw cheated on whore likely he was cheating on her with others even while he was cheating with her. But at any rate, she caught him early on. Couldn’t blame that on me, I was long gone. If we didn’t share a son, I likely would have never known it.

      I vaguely remember in a rare conversation with him while we were legally separated, that he said he had gotten a vasectomy. Why on earth would he need that, now that he had his true love and didn’t have to cheat anymore. Oh by the way I was aware she had a hysterectomy a few years back, because he told me. It should have been a red flag; but I was pretty busy working my ass off in the community and a full time job to support his dreams and push his big ass up the ladder.

      • I think there’s a point when a relationship is just plain broken beyond repair because one or both partners have chosen to hold onto certain attitudes and approaches. Mine had been there for over a decade when he finally took off, and I still didn’t quite get the message. When I finally got it, my therapist said, “Some people shouldn’t be married. He is one of them.” Yup.

  • Holy crap, did I send this to you? No, no, the details aren’t quite the same. I’ve been on the receiving end of a very similar message though. I suppose it’s true that they all use the same playbook, after all.

  • I’m eating lunch and reading this. I tipped my soup over..just glad I didn’t spit it out all over my screen. Holy mother of bad words! I’m relatively rational but I want to start this piece of work on fire. This is why we can’t have nice lives..because this bullshit of all bullshit. Okay I may have some post xmas tension to blow off. I hope the receiver of this Mien Kampf is ok. My head would have exploded.

    • Come to think of it, your Hitler analogy is apt. What is Mien Kampf other than a badly-written, cringily-transparent elaborate blame-shifting exercise in which a drooling maniac attempts to justify murderous “externalization/displacement” of his own violent psychosis onto designated victims?

  • I’m going with the theory that there’s trouble in the land of “twu wuv”.

    This sounds like the letter OW has been holding over FW’s head and she finally sent it thinking she could control the narrative and his behavior.

    It should be shared with chump’s lawyer if there are still minor children or on-going financial support. Then BLOCK, BLOCK, BLOCK. And fuck you, Dave.

  • One thing is for sure…
    Supply is drying up in this delusional Whore’s world. She wants to be central, but this pesky, nagging thought just won’t go away…
    She KNOWS Fuckwit will jump ship to the next life raft that floats by and she’s hoping like hell it’s not the wife. Since she knows full well Fuckwit loves triangulation just as much as she does. This affair is not nearly as exciting as when the cheaters were sneaking around behind the wife’s back but with Duper’s Delight grins to her face.
    AP is one sick puppy and proof that some Whores just never learn. She is desperate to “win” the pick me dance with the turd and she deserves what she will get.

    • Agreed, Chumpadelic. The thrill of the dupe is in the triangulaton, deception, secrecy, thrills and ambush. It’s the drama and chaos that fuels the dysfunction – this is what both the Cheater and AP thrive on. Psych professionals might qualify this maladaptive need within them both as reenactment compulsion or a desire to return to the dynamic(s) that were/are familiar in their original family tribe. Both these freaks need each other. If they don’t keep the pot simmering in dysfunction together forward, they’ll bottom out and lather, rinse and repeat.

      Who the hell cares at this point?! Be thankful you dodged a bullet and run like your hair is on fire. Cheaters don’t leave for someone better than you; they leave for someone worse than themselves.

  • I can’t, I simply cannot! There are no words. Ok there are many words, but the top of my head seems to have exploded! The smug, bizarre, narcissistic AUDACITY!! As if the ex-wife should take advice from the ridiculous OW, or live a life of misery! Truly a piece of work.

  • Oh, just lovely! And a Jesus cheater, to boot. She surely helped damage their relationship almost past the point of no return, but just to make sure she really wins the pick me dance, she wants Amazon to know ALL the dirt that will really drive her away for good. Such a peach.

  • I hope it fucks with your head. I hope you think of me always and forever. When you’re shaving your legs — Twatwaffle! When you’re standing in line at the DMV — Twatwaffle! When you’re filling your taxes — Twatwaffle!

    As a mum of young kids, these lines are reminiscent of animated kid’s movie Puss in Boots, when the comically evil egg boasts that he was always there, hiding in the background during the narrative twists, always working the game that would lead to Puss’s demise. Puffed up, egotistical, thinking he’s a criminal mastermind, when he was just an egg.

  • this person is delusional. and, by outlining all the financial abuse, not very smart. i think amazon chump has been handed evidence for her divorce case.

  • This email is a blatant attempt to make Amazon Chump reject Dave’s reconciliation “efforts” (sarcasm), by listing all the ways and times Amazon Chump was betrayed by him and offering to reveal even more.

    WHY is the AP clinging so desperately to this sack of shit? Is “winning” the sparkly turd really a win? He future-faked her for 11 years and she’s just now realizing that she’s still not the one. She doesn’t see that he is inviting her to continue the pick me dance by letting her know that he wants to assuage his “conscious” (because he doesn’t have a conscience) and reduce his anxiety over blowing up his life so spectacularly for a less than stellar person.

    Almost wish Amazon Chump would let him think that he has a chance, but only if he breaks up with his AP. Then AC could kill two birds with one “nope, not happening”.

    If he then goes crawling back to the AP she would forever know that she is plan B, instead of just suspecting that.

  • This woman is up to something. She’s disgusting and I feel like she’s up to no good. Why would she outline that level of detail of what they did together? She’s attempting (badly) to do something nefarious here. No response!

    I never got a letter from the OW. But, I did get to see the emails she was sending to my husband just post DDay. She was very “concerned” about me, and so she helpfully kept sending my husband tips on how to get people into in-patient mental health facilities. It was like she was looking for a final solution to get rid of me. My husband then commenced to try and get me to commit suicide (this long story for another time).

    But the point is- they suck and if they are reaching out to the wife there’s an ulterior motive at play. This woman sounds fishy to me- outsmart her and stay away. Hold your head high and let her be a loon.

  • It’s nice when some other tramp can actually make your ex’s whore look benign. And to think you ex would give up his filet mignon for store brand cat food – it does boggle the mind. But we trust they suck. Anyway, I worked with a gal like this and there was little we could do to stop her evil. She married her corp director, got her promotion and kept stomping on others in her journey to hell. There’s nothing to be done but give them no oxygen, use this letter for restricting visits if possible, and avoiding ever seeing them again. My ex used to tell his side chicks he would always love me most. But treat me like garbage. They are all screwy, ya know. This gal is more than certifiable.

  • My former husband’s AP did call ups and hang ups..or just asked me
    ..WHERE IS HE and hang up? I’d take that over this psycho who likes to rub faces in her deranged thinking and pissed on corners. Don’t join her, she is sick and Dave is casually sitting there changing the music on his “Pick- me” dance tunes..loving the cat fight😾🐈‍⬛️🥊🥊. Don’t feed him
    even one more kibble. They are both losers looking for a place to get a life. Let it not be with you. Block 🚫Them both and get on with your life. I’ve been chumped x2 and there is nothing sweeter than losing the drama and the crazy people. They can go and enjoy their lives, bake a turkey together. I don’t need Karma or judgment, I just live everyday with great joy and I am thrilled to be free. Absolutely thrilled.

  • Superselious..had to look that ten dollar word up.
    Arrogant. Arrogance is repulsive.
    I would have deleted his mail from about 2 sentences in. You know once you’ve seen certain things or heard them, they’re impossible to forget. Even if you tried to.
    Crickets speak volumes. Restraining orders do too!
    This adulteress reminded me of the demon Keanu Reeves EXORCISED whilst Transfixed with its image and then trapped in the Mirror in the movie 🎥 CONSTANTINE.

    Demon: “Snarly, screeching orgasmic Ahhhhh!”
    John: “I’m John Constantine! I’ve got a message for your Boss…🖕”

  • What in the everloving fuck did I just read? I guess the silver lining is that it shouldn’t be too hard to trust that this person sucks, with this sort of self-serving sociopathic drivel on display. I feel like bleaching my eyeballs. Extra lebkuchen to the UBT for taking on this demented manifesto.

  • My Lord, what a piece of work this one is!!😳
    You think these stories can’t possibly get any more farfetched, but there is always another one out there that just doesn’t disappoint.
    “Get the fuck out of my way and give me your husband” is the Spark Notes for that desperate, self serving email.
    Is she for real?!?What an idiot.
    I think she must wear a gold necklace with “ entitled” in script on the chain that never comes off.
    Sounds like she is the absolute perfect choice for your loser spouse.
    Two shitty ppl living the happy tru wuv dream forever more, written in the stars ( or perhaps written in some black hole, just sucking the life out of anything good that surrounds them)
    Let her have him, she deserves to be treated like crap, which is exactly what she will get after their honeymoon phase comes out from under some rock and is exposed to the light of day. They are trash!!!
    Put them both in your rear view mirror, your life doesn’t have time to entertain their unending drama and chaos, because that’s all either of them will ever create.
    If you have a fireplace, I’d suggest
    you just burn that email while sipping on a lovely glass of your favorite wine. 🔥🍷

  • SAB

    Seeks Attention Badly
    Skanky Ass Bitch
    Someone Absent Boundaries
    Seconds Are Best
    Shifts Accountability Back
    Support A Betrayer
    Slap A Bitch
    Stupidity Alarm Blasting

  • This letter suggests three things to me:

    1) OW is deeply insecure. FW may use “getting back together with stbx wife” as a threat to keep her in line. Or it’s just OW being insecure on her own because FW and the wife stayed together once already. OW is trying to draw a hard line in the sand by detailing how involved she’s been with FW so the stbx wife won’t want anything to do with FW. (It also sounds like FW has told OW to leave his stbx alone, and OW is doing this without his approval, and unwittingly [because OW don’t tend to be that bright] giving the wife an awful lot of evidence for a good settlement and possibly custody. I hope this email went straight to her attorney.)

    2) Things are getting boring in Affair Land. Stbx wife has filed for divorce and probably cut off most contact. There is no longer the secrecy, pick-me dancing, and excitement of an affair. Life becomes very “mundane” without the drama. If there’s one thing I realized about FW and OW (in my situation) it’s that they NEED drama. If there isn’t any, they manufacture it. When I finally went gray (or yellow, I guess) rock, the relationship between FW and OW fell apart. This OW bringing up how she and FW did things with the children is certainly meant to infuriate the wife.
    Any mother would be upset by that.

    3) OW is realizing that her “prize” isn’t exactly worth winning, and is desperately wanting to convince herself she’s special and justify to herself that she did the “right” thing. All the “god’s plan” smacks of that. Maybe she is also realizing that she is a horrible person so she must turn this into the wife’s problem by suggesting that the stbx needs to “move on” and is the one who wants to stay central in FW’s life (projection much?).

    I have a hard time believing any therapist would encourage this. OW is likely making that part up. In my case, OW used to put things on social media about how she couldn’t find a good therapist, and it made me wonder if that was because every therapist she tried told her that an affair with a married man was a bad idea, and so she couldn’t find anyone to help her justify her actions.

    OW only wrote me after she and FW broke up, but her “apology” was the same sort of vague “sorry for the things you went through” that you see here. Clearly these are people devoid of true empathy, and who don’t want to accept any responsibility. Even now, OW says things on social media about how she “ended up” in a bad relationship after she left her husband. As if she just fell into it, and not that she actively pursued my (now) ex husband shamelessly. She paints herself as a hapless victim. I guess otherwise it’s embarrasing to admit you ended up with an abusive man who lied as easily as he breathed.

    I hope the wife here uses this in her divorce, and gets 11 years worth of money spent on OW back as part of her settlement.

  • I hope you never respond to this utterly cruel sociopath again! Don’t meet her, speak to her, write her, listen to her….nothing nada. She’s getting her jollies off gloating over you! By responding in any way (except for no response) will keep the “competition” contest for your AH ex (and he’s a huge asshole for dragging this thing into your marriage & life!) going on in the AP’s head. Let her have him & they can live unhappily ever after with each other’s fucked-up selves. CL always cuts to the bull crap that these APs & FWs are always peddling!

  • Thank you Amazon Chump, for providing Tracy, aka the UBT, w/this delicious piece of idiocy from your FW OW. And Tracy, you gave me some much needed laughs today. Granted, I’m reading it two days after you posted it, but they still count big-time. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🤣😂🤣

  • I don’t think women like this like their feminine counterparts. The thing that he was shagging behind my back was hideously aggrieved when I threw him out and he didn’t go running to it. It sent me an email too. ‘Cc’d’ me into what it sent to the FW under the same guise of ‘trying to be nice’…..🤢🤮… what a croc of shite. They’d purchases a holiday time share on one of their shagfests, and it said in the email that the thing was willing to let my daughter and her then fiancé (named by it of course) use it for their honeymoon as the two treacherous bastards had discussed . Oh there was a raft of it..just for me..I can’t say how revenge was sweet, but my oh my did I get that disgusting cunt on its knees… Vile..these low life rock crawlers are just the scum of the earth. You can wrap a turd in foil, cover it in glitter and spray it with Chanel, it’s still a turd…

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