How Is Your Pet Better Than Your Ex?

My beautiful handsome special 11year old Beagle boy, Hugo, was there for me from the beginning. I was happy just being him and me and no FW in our life. Sadly my baby boy died suddenly 6 weeks ago and I am devastated. He loved me totally, absolutely unconditionally, something a FW is incapable of doing ever. All he wanted was to be with me and I took him everywhere with me. I miss him so much 😭 and he and my friends were all I needed. Don’t let anyone tell you they’re “just a dog.” They are so much more and just his presence helped me through the worst of it.

Gent was purchased as MY DOG. I trained, fed, bathed, and him. Gent was also abused under the hand of my ex like I was, mainly because my ex couldn’t stand that he loved me more than him. During the divorce my ex kept him from me as Gent was a shared asset that my ex wanted to claim. My ex would crate my 110lbs rambunctious hunting dog and take him everywhere with him so I couldn’t have my dog. Things got to dangerous at home so I ended up fleeing before our divorce was final. One weekend when I knew that my ex was out of town I went back to our house to get my clothes bc it was going to be about another 2-3 months before everything was finalized and I got the rest of my stuff. I figured he took Gent with him as he always did. Before I left, I heard faint weak consistent barking that sounded like Gent’s coming from the back yard. I figured I was hearing things but something made me go back there and to my and Gent’s delight, there he was. I couldn’t believe it! The poor baby was in a dog pen, in the hot sun, no water, no food, and the pen was completely covered in feces. He HATES poop! So, he was standing in one spot surrounded by fecal matter. His voice so raspy he could barely bark. I opened the pin and he rushed out licking my face and whining. I gave him water and took my dog! I took pics of that disgusting pen, his emaciated condition, no water, covered in feces, in the hot sun and presented it to the court. During mitigation Gent was the longest item we fought over…..as in hours of back and forth. My ex had 8 other dogs, yet he wanted mine. Finally, I threatened to walk and take him to court on neglect and abuse. I guess his lawyer finally got to him bc he let the issue go. My ex kept trying to get him after that in random weird ways so I neutered him to make him less desirable. It worked!

It’s been 8.5 years and Gent is still with me through thick and thin. He HATES to be crated, hates when I leave to go on vacation worried I’m leaving him (so my mom or the kids stay with him), hates missing out on anything with his people, protects us from any threats, snuggles and cuddles every opportunity he can. He has gone as far as to jump through a window to find me bc some idiot man locked him up instead of listening to little ol’ me and allowing him to run free at our hunting club like he normally does (that was a hefty vet bill). He is my constant, my shadow, and my protector. He loves me, my kids, and my fiancé as we are his pack. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

I lived with my mom during my separation/divorce, and her sweet cat would sleep next to me. She was wonderfully soothing and comforting in a time when I really needed that. I much prefer to share my bed with a warm, purring cat than my snoring, restless ex.

I haven’t been able to have pets in my apartment, but I’m moving next month into my OWN house, and the first thing I’m going to do is get some cats. And then some chickens. And maybe a dog.

What a Friday challenge this is, love it! The main theme of this week for me has actually been dogs. My 32 y/o son rescued an 18 month old Plott hound just two days ago(never even heard of that, it’s a rare breed we’ve read) from a shelter.
A foster mom had her the last month, 4 mos previous she was in the pound and unknown history before that. She is thin but exudes happiness and pure joy and I and his siblings, could not be any more thrilled or excited for our Joe and his Lucy. (We were told her name was Loretta Lynn, but she’d be in another state before she’d hear her name called, so he picked Lucy instead, being on a Beatles’ kick with his music this week, I’m sure that had a say in it)
My daughter, son and I had great fun getting Lucy supplies for her home coming and we FT’ed their brother in Dallas while we took her on her first walk in the neighborhood.
It’s a funny thing seeing your kids love another being, makes me feel so incredibly happy, like I can believe I actually AM a successful, sane and solo parent. Passing on all the important things to get about this life that I want to and my kids really get it, so awesome a feeling!
We all feel like Lucy has won the lottery to a good life and so did we getting her!
After one of the many D-days I had, two years before the finality of my divorce, when the RIC fantasy dust and confusion was still floating in the air, my birthday gift from FW was a 3 mos old Yorkie pup. He pulled the pup out of his jacket and handed him to me.
WTF?! What a perfect gift, for someone getting ready to sell their primary house, having no idea where they will live from there and not very sure AT ALL the marriage is even worth saving and finding out everyday a little more about the secret sexual basement and disclosure of escapades, it was completely overwhelming and fog inducing. Maybe a pup would be the perfect distraction for me!
The pup, I came to realize, was his replacement. I couldn’t fully process that at that time, the hopium was still swirling about.
He knew he was leaving me and thought I should have some large, daily responsibility to care for, as I had my entire life long.
I remember being pretty annoyed with him because, damn it, I would fall in love with this little fella of course, and I didn’t need another complexity in my life at that moment.
My daughter teases me 6 years later with her “FNWM” acronym, which is “First Night With Me”, as she had just graduated college and was back home job searching and the pup slept with her every night, when I was trying to protect myself from total love knocking me over and maybe I could get him a good home thoughts rushing in.
Now, with a great deal more info, I’m jealous of FNWM, and wish it had been me, although it wasn’t but a few days until I fell irredeemably hard in love anyway, haha!
That little feisty pupinator wedged his squirmy little body deep into our hearts and honestly saved my life, I have no doubt whatsoever about that. He is my world.
He is on my bed this very minute,fed, walked and in his second mid morning coma, keeping my world safe and right day after day, as I do for him.
I would never have believed that six years later, I am so madly in love with this dog and the giver is almost completely out of my life and I see that as a very very good trade!! The best swap on the planet!!
And Mr. CL is so on point saying his grumpy schnauzer was at least honest! 🤣
So so true, my doggie doesn’t have a family across town and I will never ever have that worry to deal with. He thinks I’m awesome every day and it’s a mutual feeling.
His love is unconditional, genuine, refreshingly true and he doesn’t want to replace me today or on any day that shows up, he loves spending time together.
He gives nothing but love every single day of his life, because that’s the diet I put him on and he’s also not a sociopathic narcissist. 🐶🐾💙

We left with a 15 yo very round beagle. She appeared at our door one day.Her biggest messiest crime was counter surfing a ham that disagreed with her tummy and my floors. Other than that she never peed or pooped in the house ever even as a tiny puppy. She hated rain and thunder. She was never leashed because she stayed by my side tightly. She looked rough when we moved and lived only 8 more months but she was the happiest most vibrant babe those months. Her patchy hair returned to full glam. She was as happy as we were to escape abuse. Ex didn’t ask about her once.
He brought a puppy home a year earlier that after I trained it, he took it as his sidekick. It was with him when we left.
We adopted a one blue eyed hound mix that’ll be 8 this year. She grew bigger than we anticipated. It’s like having a fawn in the house. We always go we should’ve named her xxx with the most recent being miss. chevious and Willa Ferrell. Honestly, she gave us a run for that $90 adoption fee. She was hella ferrell and slowly became the sweetest, loving, caring, most sensitive dog. She hates raised voices. Comforts you if you’re sick or sad. We are so lucky. I went to lots of training classes. Her hound nose takes over common sense at times. We don’t go on strolls like other dogs walking. I accepted them as stop and go sniff adventures. She’s the most faithful and loyal companion that’s ever been in my bed.

After my ex had finally moved out I decontaminated everything he’d ever touched. I chose that word deliberately because the cushion for the desk chair he sat in for gaming (and apparently his “games”) had multiple skid marks on it.

Multiple.

I love my cats. Yeah, sometimes they’re destructive, but at least they keep their buttholes clean.

Our animal family members are Kitty Hammer (an Egyptian Mau, she just turned sixteen) and Birdie Hammer (a green cheek conure, whose hatch day is Valentine’s Day 2018).

What is notable to me is that I could never, and have never, even considered abandoning an animal, let alone a child, or a spouse. Traitor Ex easily abandoned all three. Years ago when I was renting, if I was looking for a new place to rent I kept looking until I found a place where I could have my animals. I would have lived in my car if I had to. I would just never abandon an animal. I can’t even abandon stuffed animals. The loft in the garage is our reading hideout and stuffed animal home. They are on rotation and spend time on beds and couches and chairs around the rest of the house.

I have always had cats. The remains of my kitties from the last thirty years are in exotic wood boxes which match their fur.
Those boxes, and the remains of all my dearly beloved animals, will be cremated with me and those ashes will go into a BioUrn and become a tree that Little Hammer can plant where she likes.

I had a cat when I met Traitor Ex. He died the year before we got married. I think often about how I cried for months, alone in bed, and he’d be sitting in the living room watching TV. He never expressed any concern or noticed if I cried, about anything, ever. Like I wasn’t even there.

I love dogs but have never had a dog. I have been a.godmother to an Akita. After DDay, a giant breed started showing up in my dreams. So there is a dog in my future, and his name is Hero. I don’t know when or exactly the large breed, but Hero might be a German shepherd or a Bernese mountain dog or a Leonberger or a Tibetan mastiff or a Bouvier. My OG beloved therapist has always had rescue German shepherds. They would sit by my feet I was upset in therapy sessions. My current therapist has always had Dachshunds.

I will tell you this. There is no such thing as an unwanted animal because I want them all. Sadly I can only be guardian and host to a very limited number.

I think this also explains why I would not have left Traitor Ex until the frypan-upside-the-head experience of being cheated on.

I have been examining ways in what I can be loyal to fault since he left.

Right at the time FW started prowling around to find a prospective fuckbuddy at work with the aid of his brown-nosing pimp/beard “work wife” and started bullying at home, the kids and I saw some kittens at a vegetable stand, a male tabby and a female tuxedo kitty with long fur. The kids went nuts so that was that. The male tabby quickly grew into a massive monster. I know how to raise cats not to scratch or bite so he wasn’t violent with people but, despite being fixed, he peed all over the apartment to mark territory, constantly bullied the much smaller and meeker female, stole her food and made himself fat. It was clear we had to protect the female when she became malnourished and was spending whole days hiding from the intractable fuckwit. I contacted a re-homing network and found a placement where he could cat around outdoors. Then I did the same with the tabby. 😉

Mr. CL, “How Is Your Pet Better Than Your Ex?” you ask. I have a 2 1/2 year old Golden Retriever (1/8 standard poodle) who makes it easy to count the ways: she makes me laugh, not cry. She’s always happy to see me, and she doesn’t blame me for anything. She wants to be with me and follows me wherever I go— she’s not off spending her time with another family. She gives the best cuddles, she doesn’t abandon me when I’m feeling sad and lonely. She loves my child and vibrates with joy when she sees her— she didn’t break my daughter’s heart and make her suicidal. I could go on for days!

I had my then college-aged son’s trouble-maker mini Australian shepherd under my care when XH left and I had to downsize and moved a few blocks away to my rental home. Son’s dog nearly destroyed the home he was so angry— ate the wood window frames, destroyed my office including chewing all my electronic cords, peed on every piece of furniture, ran away to the old home daily… I bawled my eyes out every time I retrieved him…. I wanted to go postal too and I wanted to go home too….. 😭😭😭😭😭. During remote-school of pandemic, son came and took his dog to his apartment at his university in CA. I missed that bugger. Several months into the pandemic, X, who had used the carrot of a puppy to manipulate our teen daughter into “accepting” the homewrecker bought the whore the golden doodle puppy he’d been promising our daughter. All hell broke loose. So he bought our daughter a second golden retriever. Our 16 year old daughter lasted all of a week with that arrangement— AP liked my daughter’s dog “better” than hers, renamed the dog(!?) and threatened my daughter that she would take her puppy “when” she broke up with X! Who does that???!!! XH threatened to “re-home” our daughter’s puppy to force her to eat AP’s shit sandwich. Oh HELL NO!!!! in the middle of the Pandemic shut downs?! When the puppy was all our daughter had to live for?! I went over there and under the ruse of taking puppy to the park with our daughter, we picked puppy up and brought her home where she and I bonded (at 16 she didn’t have the patience to care for pup 24/7 and socialize her). XH never once asked about his $5k puppy. Bizarre!

I adore the puppy and can’t imagine life without her!

When I left Cheater #1, I took Misha, the world’s worst dog, with me. She made Casper sound downright tame. I know from personal experience, not all dogs go to Heaven. In fact, I sometimes wonder why the Devil hasn’t sent her back because she is too bad even for Hell. Did I mention she was an excellent judge of character: she detested Cheater #1 and even barfed on his bare foot in one memorable episode.

Even then, she was waaaaaaayyyyy better than Cheater #1.