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Schmoopie Karma Stories?

schmoopiesPeople crave Schmoopie karma stories. I know because I read my mail. And also, we recently had a chump meet-up in London (which was wonderful!) and the number one request was: “MORE KARMA STORIES.”

I get it. But remember, the goal here is indifference. Meh. Do not make your healing contingent on what cheaters do. Or don’t do. Or falls on them from atop a skyscraper.

What fell on them from a skyscraper, Tracy? Tell me more!

No! Their punishment is being them.

That is not a satisfying answer, Tracy. I need Old Testament judgement. Smiting. Rivers of blood.

That’s not how it works, people!

Okay, I’ll tell you one great karma story I heard on vacation from a CN member. Nine years ago she was chumped when her husband walked out for a much younger coworker, leaving her with four children ages 2 to 12. Did he pay support? Maintain his relationship with his kids? No, of course he didn’t. We’re talking about fuckwits here. The heart wants what the heart wants.

She was the breadwinner. She had to pay off his debts. She had to raise the kids and work a demanding job. It’s nine years later, and I’m sitting in her living room, in the house that she singlehandedly remodeled. In a lovely little village. Now worth a lot of money since real estate has gone up and her sweat equity has paid off. The oldest kid is a school teacher! The other kids are on scholarship in great schools! Dad and Schmoopie are pretty much nonentities.

But recently FW Dad went on a love bombing bender with the teenage daughter. Bought her fancy concert tickets. So she spent an evening with Dad and Schmoopie. Who live in rather reduced circumstances — a one-bedroom apartment in a not-so-nice part of town. And daughter reported back to mom that the blissful couple had a fight.

Over a .20 p Sainsbury shopping bag.

Schmoopie was angry at FW’s spendthrift ways. Purchasing a bag, when he could’ve brought a bag. (Makes you wonder if she knew about the concert tickets?)

THAT is what karma looks like. The long arc of fuckwittery. The eventual banal suckitude.

Nine years ago, when our chump friend was devastated, the Schmoopies took the settlement money and went swanning around the world on fabulous vacations. Yes, as she was working, raising four children alone, he was in the Maldives.

More karma: Schmoopie wanted children. (Why, when he’s got four he doesn’t support?) No children. And now she’s just got him, a shit apartment, and a .20 p Sainsbury shopping bag.


As for the daughter, when she texted him asking about needing money for school shoes. He didn’t reply. Sadly, she trusts that he sucks. Happily, she has a kickass Sane Parent mom.

Now it’s your turn to share your Schmoopie karma stories…

That we don’t care about, because we’re MEH! But… well… what’s a little schadenfreude between friends?

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  • To be fair Sainsburys should be paying him to advertise their business!

  • So Mr. Sparkles and the OW had been dating for almost 18 months. He never filed, I had to (shocking). So, to beef up my divorce complaint I wanted to include adultery in the filing (even though we’re a no fault state, I wanted the truth in there)… well, that set the OW off on a rant because in her mind, he had moved out of our marital home and “poof” that made him eligible to date (vs. just flirt with at the gym). Fun! But, it gets better. Again, to support my divorce complaint, I had to supply proof – you know, that paper trail Tracey always talks about – and as I was gathering the phone records and emails and personal ads (the OW wasn’t special, she was one of many to my fuckwit)… I came across an article on the Ashley Madison email hack. For shits and giggles, I threw his email in the search and there he was (I never knew about that one!). So, I created a file on AM and he was still trolling on it!!!! Not exactly meh, but I printed it all out and mailed it anonymously to the OW. She dumped Mr. Sparkles weeks later.

    Karma. Yup. She went further though to enlightenment and eventually sent me an email of apology (wrapped in a ‘poor me, I wasn’t special’ cheater apologist bullshit).

    Felt good, the felt meh. Almost nine years out, don’t even think about checking sites for him anymore, but I know he’s there.

  • Doesn’t feel like karma has come full circle necessarily but I died full bent over belly laughing in my car when I pulled up to pick up my kids, and Schmoopie was pushing around the lawnmower and raking leaves. She’s also not cutting the figure she had 3 years prior when everything blew up. Ex just has to watch me live my best life and all of my accomplishments. Apparently he somehow got promoted and Schmoopie is trying to get the kids to throw kibbles and spackling for him about how much he loves them.

  • Ex-Mrs LFTT now lives with her AP in a single bedroom rental property and has very little to do with our now-adult children (2 of whom still live with me, and the third is a very frequent visitor).

    The “karmic component” is simply that the lies, manipulation, gaslighting, financial abuse and generally toxic BS that Ex-Mrs LFTT used to focus on the kids and I is now focussed all on him. He should have done his due diligence better; he is now the “sole owner” of the flaming turd (and all that came with it) that he won.


    PS – C**e, if you are reading this …… you are one dumb fck; enjoy your consequences.

    • I think I’m going to use this in my mind when I see FW ex husband and his younger AP, enjoy your consequences 😁

    • And as for the “gain a life” component – did you buy the house? That would make the single bedroom rental for the ex-Mrs. LFTT and her idiot AP even more delicious.

  • I had to stop wishing for karma awhile back, as FW and Wifetress are apparently going strong and have been married, now, longer than he and I were. The karma, then, is that I’m free, single, and don’t have to marriage police or worry about… well, anyone. I can concentrate on family, career, and mental health. I don’t know what they concentrate on or even if they are worried about each other’s fidelity. Who knows? All I know is that I am thankful that it’s not my circus anymore.

    I do know that, recently, his health hasn’t been that great. My kiddo let it slip that he’s going in for some sort of heart surgery thing soon. I don’t know how to feel about that; I’m very conflicted. He even told me in a text (very unusual as we’re as hands off as possible except for kids pickup and drop off texts), but he slipped it in: (paraphrasing) “Can you drive the kids in this weekend instead of me picking them up? I have [heart procedure thing] soon and I’m not supposed to drive for a week or so.”

    I feel this was a fair way to slip in the information, as it was a reason for why he’s requesting a deviation from the weekend visit routine. Still, I agonized over my feelings and what to text back. Eventually, I opted for my plan of “Never, ever, ever engage in personal conversation with this man” (based on experience) when I wanted to say something supportive (even like “Take care and I hope it goes well”). Instead, I replied that I certainly can drive them to his place this weekend–not a problem. I didn’t even mention his heart surgery. He has a family, lots of friends, and a wife; he can get moral support from them.

    I digressed, but I decided that bad health wasn’t karma. That can happen to any of us. No, for me, the karma is that I am free from worrying about my partner’s adulterous behavior (a state that hellishly stressed me out and put me on the road to PTSD and depression) and he and she… well, those concerns will always be in their peripheral vision for the rest of their lives. It’s no satisfying movie-ending version of karma, but it’s there.

    • XW slipped in a comment about her father dying into a conversation about kids (“please don’t tell the kids about their grandfather dying as I want to do it myself”). I had had no idea, but replied that I wouldn’t bring it up with the kids.

      A couple of days later I received a rant from her about how her father died and I didn’t give her any sympathy. Mind you, I hadn’t heard a peep from any of her family since D-day, which was years earlier, so it was clear that I had been ejected from membership.

  • I wish I had a great schmoopie karma story. They all either disappeared or are staying off my radar. Fine by me.

    I’ll be checking back later today for a schadenfruede fix!

  • While of course Meh is the goal, I think it is human to want to see mean folks get a little slap around. Whether it be a mean girl in HS, a politician, or a fw.

  • Here’s the thing about maintaining a full communication blockade–I have no karma stories. I’m happier this way. After living with the man for 25 years, a divorce that lasted nearly 2 years, and then spending an additional year with him dragging me back to court over trivial stuff, I am completely over it. I know deep down in my soul that the ultimate karma is that he has to live with himself. He’s miserable. An aging narcissist is ALWAYS miserable. He did not end up with schmoops, but he did manage to find a new victim and marry her. I would feel sorry for her except they started living together while she was married to someone else. So…I guess they’re compatible.

  • I’ll never see a ounce of Karma in my life time . I’m years out and not even a waft of it

    What’s hard work is giving up the hope of that said Karma as it ain’t ever going to happen . I’m about 99% of the way there on giving up that hope but I cling to that 1% and pray that they eventually get a taste of their own medicine

    • Karma is great but it tends to happen when we are indifferent and at the point of not giving a rat’s ass. Please keep in mind none of us really know what is going on behind closed doors…lots of people can put on a positive front while their life is pretty miserable.

    • I don’t believe I’ll ever see an ounce of karma in my life time, either. (In fact, I suspect there may be some more shit sandwiches to eat in my future, because fuckwit has recently convinced our son to go to the same therapist he uses.) But when it comes down to it, I would choose getting my own life fully on the mighty track over a karma event for him. In fact, focusing on karma for him, when it isn’t appearing in the form of a visible event merely raises in my chumpy mind the self-accusation that lack of karma for him proves I’m the one with the problem. I’m about 80% able to embrace the idea that his karma is that he last to live with himself, although of course he, being such an excellent human being in his own mind, doesn’t see anything wrong with that.

      • Adelante, that therapist has a conflict of interest, and it may rise to the point of being reportable to their professional organization. I take it your son is an adult and this is not something you have a say in. Most ethical therapists will not provide individual therapy to two family members at once.

        • At one point, our incompetent (harmful) the-rapist was seeing all four family members individually plus my parents for couples counseling plus the family for sessions. Lots of 💰 for him. 🤬

  • Married 35 years when I found out he was having a 2 year affair with the Whore. She knew he was married but didn’t care. After years of marriage policing I caught them together at her house where they laughed, tormented me with their sexual escapade tales and cruel statements. My mental and emotional health was at stake so weeks later I had him served divorce papers. He moved into her house after I legally had him thrown out. He lived with her two years when Karma showed up. She was killed in a parking lot by a speeding teenager. Then he immediately moved into another woman’s house where he is today
    Sick and old having this women whose in her eighties take care of him.
    I’m alone and financially devastated but at least I’m free of
    the toxic and devastating evil person.

    • He had another woman in the BG lined up and ready to take him in a millisecond. You’re well shot of that.

  • yep, karma is a b*tch! FW wanted to play $$ games during separation and divorce, specifically refusing to pay both mortgages until the house was sold as per the divorce decree. (I earned 1/4 what FW salary was bc of kids…) FW attempted to impress schmoopie with trips and gifts mostly on the company dime. End result: FW ruined his credit (18 months past due) and had to bring $40+k to sale closing to bring loans current or risk foreclosure and loss of employment. Schmoopie evaporated. I enjoyed this circus from the comfort of my ‘new to me’ little home with my 2 grown kids and 3 pups who refuse to have any comms with FW and his flying circus fam. I kept my signed Div papers on the ready each and every time any collector or finance person attempted to coerce me into paying, and 6 yrs later kids, pups and I enjoy a quiet financially stable life. FW (57) lives with his mommy (80) in rented house somewhere….meh

  • I don’t talk to him but after more than fours years of not speaking to the kids (21,18) he wanted to reconnect with the kids because OW’s father is dying and they don’t speak, and he decided he wanted to talk to his kids. Mine kids said no, not how this works. He later took back an offer to help with college bc he had “piles of debt” and would keep them on insurance but not helping with expenses (he has her three kids on his policy as well).
    My karma is that we will still be okay. My daughter graudates from high school top of her class in May and will be going to a great women’s college with more financial support that we ever hoped for. My son graduates from a top college in June walking away with minimal debt and a honors degree and moving to the west coast with his girlfriend. And although I lose child support in may, I just accepted a job that pays more that what I made at the time of divorce plus what he gave us for child support. So my karma, is raising two fantastic kids that see through his shit and catching up on my career goals that I put on hold for his and so I could be a mother. Oh and my partner of over two years appreciates me and he treats my kids better than their dad ever did. So I am good, whatever life they live I know I am happier in the one I have today.

  • I’m one of the rare ones that got some karma. A couple of weeks before our divorce was final I got an email filled with woe, of how he had “squandered the greatest love he has ever known.” I got to gleefully take the high road and refused further emails about anything other than our son.
    4 months later he married another victim. And a year after that? He cheated on her and his mistress contacted me on Facebook by mistake. I passed on the word and the full story to his new wife. Her consolation prize for staying with him? Another baby. Now the guy that “never really wanted kids,” has three :).
    And there’s nothing quite as satisfying as your child referring to him as “my fat daddy,” to his face and on the regular (Ex is morbidly obese and always refused my efforts to help him).

    • While I don’t love fat shaming, I can’t help but laugh at this. FW is so vain, especially about his body (which is not as great as he thinks especially for all the fad workouts and diets he gets into), it would be the greatest karma if the kids or literally anyone called him fat daddy…

  • So when Arseface took off into the sunset with exit Schmoopie they were living the dream. Period mansion,exotic holidays, luxury cars ,the works. The narrative he was putting out there was that he’d finally found the woman who would make him magically monogamous at last!
    Turns out he simply assembled another harem when he had her where he wanted her. He eventually fucked her over spectacularly too and had his next amour du jour lined up for about a year before he left Schmoopie.
    She( the next one) then left him because,guess what,she caught him cheating. Surprise surprise.
    He is now with someone else. She is extremely plain and word on the block is that she drinks too much and has a vicious temper. I’ve heard he’s got health issues too.
    I savour the delicious irony that the womanising Casanova ends up like this.
    Schadenfreude. Karma.

    • I need more coffee, because I read “Period Mansion” as a gothic retreat for wealthy debutants to recover from their “monthlies”, a sort of Victorian twist on “the Red Tent”. 🤭

  • My ex’s karma is he ended up with a high maintenance drama queen from comments he’s made to our kids “your mom wasn’t like that”, “why can’t she be happy with that… your mom”. 😂🤣 Also, they’ve witnessed arguments where Schmoopie still thinks Fuckwit will still do lovebombing things for her & he doesn’t 😂🤣
    Karma is being in a daily relationship with each other.

    • I was SOOOOO accommodating to him that anyone would have seemed super high-maintenance in comparison to me. I suppose that its the same for many of us here. There were likely a lot of reckonings that we never heard about.

      • This is what I find so frustrating. I made life so easy for Asshat. He never had to do anything but be the workaholic he loved to be and be called The Great Dave by my two kids. He even called me one day out of the blue to thank me for being such a great wife–his co-owner cousin just received his daily phone lashing by his shrew of a wife (still married).

        I have to laugh because Asshat always considered me high maintenance. I believe he now has a better understanding of the definition of that, married to HoWorker/Wife who “wants it all”. Possibily why he’s turned gray and looks like absolute shit. A friend of mine has even said “she’s fattening him up” so no one else will want him.

      • I thought the same thing. OW has a lower tolerance for BS which makes her seem high maintenance. Chumpy me accepted whatever treatment and made so few demands. I used to be proud to be low maintenance but it turns out it was the clue that FW needed that he could just keep taking from me.

  • I recently found out a nugget of information that, if the Lying Cheating Loser knew it, would likely devastate him.

    The LCL spent 11 years in the air force. He was married with two young kids during his time of service. The marriage was toxic, as marriages are between two disordered people. Infidelity, domestic disputes, etc. Police were called several times, the air force imposed disciplinary consequences and deferred promotions.

    Then, just as things were coming to a head, with his wife asking him to separate from the air force and start a new, civilian family life back home, the LCL received orders to a remote pacific island where families could not accompany the servicemember.

    It was his golden ticket! He could skip off to his new duty station, serve his wife divorce papers, continue his career and fulfill his dream of globetrotting and being stationed in Europe.

    As the LCL tells the story, instead of accepting the orders, he accepted an offer to voluntarily separate from the air force with a severance package and an honorary discharge. Because he chose his family. Because he wanted to be there for his kids, even if the marriage didn’t last.

    He sacrificed his dream for his family. Noble and unselfish, right?

    Well I happen to live in a town that has an air force base. My awesome neighbors are an air force couple. We went out to dinner recently, and the husband was “talking shop.” I decided to ask him about the circumstances surrounding the LCL’s separation.

    My neighbor was like,
    “Oh yeah, that happens all the time. On a squadron level, they were trying to get the LCL out of the air force quietly and peacefully. He had displayed “conduct unbecoming” but there wasn’t clear proof that could be used to kick him out. Meanwhile, his orders to the pacific island were randomly, automatically generated from outside his squadron.
    But he never would have been allowed to go. Had he tried to accept the orders, he would have been told he had to reenlist before he’d be eligible to go. And when he tried to reenlist, he would have been denied reenlistment.
    So either way, he would be out. He never had the choice.”

    The LCL took the money and moved his family back to their home state. Tried to join the air national guard only to find out “through some weird glitch” he was ineligible for that too.

    He ended up working a job he didn’t like, getting divorced, and basically abandoning his kids.

    So karma got him, and his head is too far up in the clouds for him to even realize it.
    Which, when you think about it, is a pretty good illustration to what CL says, that their karma is being them. Because wherever they go, there they are. Cheaters, without a conscience, without empathy, always taking the easy route, looking for instant gratification, for what’s in it for them.

    The LCL is leading a life that is mediocre at best, and not at all a reflection of how extraordinary he believes himself to be.

    And from where I’m sitting, that looks like karma.

    • *honorable discharge.

      But truly, it was more like an “honorary” discharge.

    • I never knew if he ever got caught in a cheating thing at work, but I think most of his hook ups were work related, so I think there is a good chance that he screwed his military career somewhere along the line. He blamed me for not retiring at a higher rank, of course.

      After his death, I got a copy of his military record, but there were no overt signs of it. Colonel Greatly said they have code words for some stuff but I dont know them

  • Mine came from his attorney.

    One of the reasons I hired the one I did was that he laughed when I told him who my husband was waving in front of my face. He said, “Yes, he’s a no-holds-barred fighter, but we always go out for a beer after court and toast each other. He also knows when to let go after all the bluster.” My husband’s attorney had been on CNN and hung out with the rich and famous in my area. His specialty was “high asset divorce,” which mine wasn’t, but you get the idea.

    So that attorney made it agony (no surprise), but mine told me to wait because it was all a show for his client. Then he said my husband was becoming a bad client for opposing counsel. His attorney was getting frustrated and complaining to mine, even crossing attorney-client privilege because they had known each other for decades. He told me that this was good for us.

    Yes, it happened. My ex repeatedly crossed his attorney too many times, and his attorney went full bore to teach his client who was boss. He did a complete tell-all with mine and then worked with mine to get it settled by giving my husband 24 hours to sign, or he’d quit and badmouth his client all over the legal community so he couldn’t get a suitable replacement. His attorney also told mine that I was the rare “Mother Teresa married to Attila the Hun” and began sending me messages that he felt sorry for me and was doing his best to get me away from “his worst client ever.”

    Mine said he had never had an attorney go turncoat that far in 40+ years of family law, but he called it closure, and so did I. I never even met that attorney, and then he died of COVID shortly after their part of the closeout was done. I had the original attorney’s associate doing closeout by then, and he observed that my ex’s attorney truly was a decent guy.

    • I…. hope this isn’t true. This behavior should right and quickly get that attorney disbarred. Regardless of the nature of the client.

      • Elsie does state that fuckwit’s attorney is now deceased making yours a moot point. What’s terrible about this is chump’s attorney shouldn’t have outed deceased attorney to chump. Otherwise, I think it was a pretty fucking honorable thing for fuckwit’s attorney to do. Deceased attorney probably had it up to there after years of cheating douchey clients!!! RIP deceased attorney who went out with a bang doing the right & moral thing 🙏

        • Yes, my ex’s attorney was completely in the wrong professionally. My attorney had announced his retirement and commented that the bar likely wouldn’t contact him about an ethics violation if he had given up the law. My attorney had a sub-speciality of divorce malpractice and had represented people with attorneys like this in ethics violations and appeals. So my ex’s attorney probably measured the risk to himself and decided to do his own thing. That was my attorney’s guess.

          The associate who took over was also concerned about the situation and said to watch for a potential appeal after the judge signed, but the period passed for an appeal. When his attorney died, his firm completely dropped family law and never notified us. The associate said that whole progression was indeed a bit off, so who knows what happened. I only knew that he had died because there was a big write-up in the newspaper that a friend saw.

          • Interesting. When filling out consultation form with my attorney, form asked for who I thought spouse would use. I suggested he’d use a chiropractic patient of his that had actually given me advice on possibly taking a salary when caring for my parents (no proof of that advice that I decided against) I thought that may be conflict of interest.

            My attorney said if so, the attorney was approachable, likes to be on golf course several days a week, he was 70s. Divorce took 2.5 years. I had previously discovered FW was addicted to pills. Eventually his own attorney had difficulty reaching him after initially saying FW says he’s not an addict.

            I was getting calls, letters & door hangars from insurance company regarding car accident FW was liable.
            He says to mine don’t ever expect any thing complete from FW, he’s not capable. We ended up with a Marriage Settlement Agreement. My attorney had to subpoena records & let his know 33 years younger gf would be deposed and I had pictures and texts regarding drugs, for court if necessary.

            All the attorneys in my area know the score, the unapproachable bulldog type run up the bill then settle.

            • Exactly. My xh’s pit bull gal was nasty and impossible to work with – for show. She settled in the end. Probably cost him tens of thousands more.

        • No, it wasn’t an honorable thing to do. It doesn’t matter if someone has ‘had it up to here’ with the clients they decided to represent or whether they are long time pals with opposing counsel. This was a horrific, unethical way for any lawyer to behave, full stop, period. I imagine if CL showed this post to Mr. CL he’s making the same horrified choking noises I did reading this post.

          A good lawyer karma story would be ‘my FW’s went through four lawyers because they all fired him as a client for being an a-hole, and he ended up broke and trying to represent himself in court. My lawyer put him on the stand and shredded him.’

          • Quote: A good lawyer karma story would be ‘my FW’s went through four lawyers because they all fired him as a client for being an a-hole, and he ended up broke and trying to represent himself in court. My lawyer put him on the stand and shredded him.’

            Oh, so you’ve met Cheater #1? He hired the fanciest lawyer in town because, ya know, fancy. Small factoid that I had already consulted with her when searching for an attorney and decided not to use her. Questionable ethics right there. He was “fired” by her and her associate after less than 3 months and one hearing. Went through two more lawyers then decided to go pro se. C#1 was smarter than the lawyers, dontchaknow. C#1 didn’t go broke and actually got a pretty decent settlement due to California’s rather liberal community property laws. Did I mention he ran through the entire sum of the settlement in two years and declared bankruptcy? Yeah, like all the OPs, the real karma is being themselves.

      • Agreed. This isn’t something I’d brag about in public (or anywhere else for that matter).

    • That is an incredible story. You mentioned his lawyer normally dealt with high asset divorces, and that yours was not. Then he referred to your ex as ““his worst client ever.”?? Can you imagine how BAD he had to be to win that title? I mean, you were divorcing him, I suppose you know better than anyone JUST how bad he could be. My point is that in high asset divorces, things must get so ugly as their is so much to lose and they all get volatile once their wallets start getting hit. So despite the fact that his lawyer likely saw some of the worst battles to ever be fought in divorce court, your ex STILL stood out?

      So glad you are out and that you got such a lovely “gift” to see all that.

      • Yes, for an attorney like that to call my ex “the worst client ever” said something. My attorney had also done high-asset divorce with that attorney as opposing counsel, but he told me in the initial interview that he liked a mix of cases. He required a legal reference and a professional reference in addition to a credit/criminal check before he’d take a case, and he later told me that he took less than 10% of the people who wanted him. He said that he was over bad clients and cherry-picked his cases. He liked representing what he called “good people in a bad mess.”

        My ex’s attorney was never on my list. He was a publicity seeker and used to take out full-page newspaper ads that seemed off to me. I also heard stories that he was quite a ladies’ man when he was younger, having ditched wife #1 for wife #2 during law school. Then he had a law firm with #2, but he began cheating on her too. Their divorce made the newspaper, and then he relocated and opened another law firm. He was on wife #3 then, and people had said he had settled down. Who knows. I noticed that his obituary called wife #3 “the love of his life” and omitted his kids from wife #1 and wife #2. He may well have been a narc. At least I had an attorney that he clearly respected.

    • No, your ex’s attorney was a narcissist who had no business being a lawyer.

    • Nowhere near as crazy as Elsie’s story, but FW’s attorney was the third partner at a husband-wife law firm. FW was never around (a shiny army hero ya know?) so didn’t follow local news and didn’t know wife was running for local office and the battle was ugly. I mentioned it to my attorney, who had gone to law school with the wife and had some choice words about her. Well sure enough didn’t wife end up in legal trouble for illegally photographing her opponent in a courtroom. That’s right, narcissist Cheater’s law firm was in a legal battle for behaving like narcissistic cheaters. I don’t know if FW ever picked up a local paper and figured out why they were taking forever to work on his divorce case. I don’t think it hurt his case in the end but it sure made me laugh.

    • My attorney told me that he and my husband’s attorney talked. He said she (total nasty bi*ch in negotiations, insulting, couldn’t get a word in edgewise) was putting on 100% show to placate her client, my xh. He also told me she said my xh “was driving her crazy”, quite a bit. My xh was SO furious with having to pay anything, drug the divorce out, ironically causing more money.
      He ate shit in the end, probably paid his attorney 2x -3x what I paid mine – and HER nastiness, fueled by xh’s desire to “screw me over”, was the mail in the casket for both of our daughters. They have not spoken to their dad in years. He’s missed two weddings, a doctor’s graduation ceremony and 100% of their lives.
      Don’t feel a bit sorry, he showed his ass to everyone, he got the results he deserved.

  • Reaching WAY WAY back for this one… When serial cheater then-spouse ratcheted-up his relationship with Susan of Seattle from casual side-fuck to Full Schmoopie Wuv, he was a purchasing agent for the military on pending contracts that were surely in the millions and she was the sales rep for the company hoping for a big Federal Govt contract bonanza.

    I dont know much but apparently their escapade played out in her work email with lots of sexy schmoopieisms.

    Her employer found themselves in the awkward spot of looking like they dangled pussy on front of a big potential Federal Govt client with all of the possible bad consequences which would have come with that. She was fired from her job…a place where her parents also worked (likely in the factory as they were recent immigrants and did not speak English from what I know).

    One might wonder what the conversations between her and her parents went.

    Major Cheaterpants used a huge chunk of the professional capitol he had been cultivating (for 20 years) to assist his post-military career to help get her a new job, but that employer was not as impressed with her as Major Cheaterpants was and that job was short-lived.

    Another part of the drama was that during the Schmooplalooza Luvfest, she was engaged to some dude named Lawrence (reputed to be a “high end jeweler”) and she had a $39,000 engagement ring. She eventually did marry Lawrence but that ended somehow and the last internet stalking I did showed a naked ring finger, so the Diamond of the Ages is no longer part of her life.

    For newbies, I will add that Cheater died suddenly about 5 years after (what I now think was) the end of their fling. I had kept her cell phone number in my records for no good reason and a few months after his death, I texted her that he was dead and intentionally mentioned it as if I assumed she knew but I dont think she did, so it would have hit her harder.

    My new life (while imperfect as all lives are) is great which is a whole other story.

    • I will add that by the arc of their relationship (and the fact that they were “together” [it is creepy to even type that] well after her firing), I think they were having an actual full blown Schmoopfest, that she wasn’t some corporate “honeypot” intended to lure and manipulate him. This makes it all the more humiliating that she would be fired because without the firing, they all know it looked sketchy as hell.

      Please know that Im YEARS AND YEARS out from this and meh enough that I can wonder about things with zero pain (I know that seems impossible early one, but its TRUE!!!)

      I wonder if either of them said “maybe we shouldn’t do this on work email”. I wonder what her HR meeting was like. I wonder about the frantic messages between them as it unfolded. I wonder how much of the cruelty and hostility he served me up were a direct result of the angst from this.

      Picture the weird trickle-truth conversation between Cheater and I when I learned of the $39,000 diamond… She had explained diamond values to him and why her round diamond was worth so much. He apparently promised her a $40,000 diamond to replace it if they got engaged. Mind you he had wife, 3 kids, 2 mortgages, and a minivan but zero college fund for teens going towards college age at warp-speed. He said the $40,000 comment was “a joke”. My response “Really, how many other coworkers have you joked about buying diamond rings for?”.

      In Wreckonsillyation, we were nearing our 25 year anniversary and I was hoping for a big diamond (please forgive my spackle, delusion and hopium) to show his grand “better than before the affair” love for me and he alluded to a pending purchase numerous times. None was purchased and in a very uncharacteristic manner, shortly before he died, I asked him (very calmly & frankly) “you acted like you were going to buy an anniversary ring, why didnt you?”. (Im so glad I asked) He said “successful men buy wives big diamonds and I have never been successful enough to do that”. So, it had nothing to do with me…as most of what we all suffer here…it has nothing to so with us.

    • I laughed hard at “dangled pussy” who no longer has the “Diamond of the Ages” (a bargain at $39K!!)
      Great story Uni

  • I finally got to witness karma in all her glory, 3.5 years after my divorce was finalized. The ex (51) & his much younger schmoopie (27) seemed to be living it up… new cars, new house, fancy vacations, new baby… but of course it was all an illusion. Within the past 6 months, she (allegedly) cheated on him, they broke up & sold the house, he now lives with family members, they are fighting for custody of the child, and his twu wuv is now pregnant to a man on the sex offender registry. Classy.

    I am 99% at meh and have been no contact with him since the divorce was finalized. I came upon this information by accident, when I ran into his aunt at the store. I never wished them harm, always preferring to take the high road for my own sanity, but I do admit that I let myself enjoy this new information. I am a huge fan of karma and all of her fabulous ways!

    • Karma stories that feature a cheater getting cheated on are the BEST. Nothing like getting a taste of their own medicine.

  • I wish I had one. But as far as I know, the FW and his skank are living a wonderful life. If I ever find out differently, I’ll report.

    • AC,

      Plot spoiler; they won’t be living a wonderful life, but they will definitely want you to think that they are.


      • Exactly LFTT. They will do their best to PROJECT a wonderful life. But AC needs to remember, Schmoopie KNOWS the exFW cheated on AC. At some point, Schmoopie is going to start thinking “will they do that to me?/Are they doing that to me?”

      • Agree with this. Don’t believe the facebook statuses of bliss…it isn’t reality.

  • I left a 3000 sq. foot lake home that I shared with FW due to his career move and downsizing. He ended up being transferred / moving to 6 different locations within this company. He is now 63 and has moved back in with mom and dad into a 600 sq. foot attached apartment in order to save money. This is the same apartment I was temporarily forced to live in when our lake home sold. The plan was for me to stay there 3 months, which morphed into 3 years at which time he had a falling out with his mother and refused to set foot in that apartment ever again! His possessions are still stored in 2 storage units. Current GF has 4 children and lives 3 hours away. Karma.

  • The turd just quit his insurance sales job because his boss was mean. The guy’s a job jumper and I predicted he’d do that. To top it off, they just bought a house they can barely afford and haven’t sold the other one. Now she’s back to working more. 😂😂😂

  • Not really karma but FW ex was trying to hold back the last bit of court ordered settlement money that he owed me (the IRA transfer). I had to get my attorney involved and after a few calls and the threat of going back to court, the funds hit my accounts yesterday!!!!! Of course he has been telling everyone that I took him to the cleaners, etc. I did not but I did make sure I got the best settlement possible and can never touch any of my pension or retirements funds. I see it as consequences. He did after all, leave his homemade porn with Schmoopie on our son’s shared photo account, left a great audit trail of all the money he spent on Schmoopie and so on. All I did was find that evidence and collect the money back. He is just a sad sausage now that he doesn’t have access to all the marital funds to spend on his Schmoopie (both primary Schmoopie and massage parlor hookers).
    He has now seen that there are consequences to cheating. That is golden!

  • I’ve been waiting to be able to share this karma tale. FW’s Schmoopie offed herself. Why? I don’t know. And I don’t care. I couldn’t figure out why he was calling me incessantly until a Switzerland “friend” reached out to me on Facebook to let me know. Professor Google can be your friend in these kind of situations and sure enough, there was her obituary. Along with her mugshots (yes, that’s plural). Assault and DWIs. (The driving drunk thing didn’t surprise me as she was a gal that liked her toddies just like the FW, but assault? WTF? Who did she assault? I don’t care enough to find out.)
    I’m sure he’s getting a lot of mileage out of being the poor, sad widower.
    But not from me. Die alone you bastard.

    • He was calling you because the slut he cheated on you with killed herself? If gall was gold, he’d be a gazillionaire. They never lack for colossal nerve. That comes with having no empathy and no shame.

      • He always called when things weren’t going well with Schmoopie. I never responded. I was No Contact before I ever knew who Chump Lady was. Before I knew what hoovering was. I reached meh the very moment I found out what he was up to. I trusted that he sucked because, well, he sucks. Out loud. I know he’ll keep trying to contact me because he sucks. And a lying liar that lies. It’s just who he is. No longer my problem.
        I did say a “Hail Mary” for the Schmoopie, though. I’m a nice Catholic girl and that’s what we do. But I only said one. Because where she’s spending the rest of Eternity is a terrible, terrible place for women that think nothing of f*cking other women’s husbands.

  • Fuckwit was arrested for a DUI which resulted in his license revoked being for several years and primary schmoops dumping him (probably because it finally made it apparent to schmoops’ pea brain that fuckwit had no means or intention of relocating to her city or being her kids’ chauffer).

    I’m pretty certain that schmoops was fired from her job (I had sent her employers screenshots of her texts and gmails to fuckwit where she bragged about using her position to get sensitive information on people and to harass them, including me, along with a list that she’d sent fuckwit of women that she wanted to harm and her nasty comments about her boss and colleagues). Fuckwit told a relative that schmoops ghosted him after she blamed him for “ruining her job and life”.

    No doubt they’re still playing the victim of their terrible decisions, meanwhile I’m happy to have both these freaks out of my life.

    • “I had sent her employers screenshots of her texts and gmails to fuckwit where she bragged about using her position to get sensitive information on people and to harass them, including me, along with a list that she’d sent fuckwit of women that she wanted to harm and her nasty comments about her boss and colleagues”

      Oh damn, that is savage. If I had those same circumstances, I would likely have done the same, but wow, BAM!!

      I cant imagine a person stupid enough to type that sort of crap into existence, but APs aren’t known for their wisdom.

      • Company was probably swift with that termination. Who wants that kind of liability exposure?

      • Oh I don’t’ think that is savage at all. People were being victimized, they needed to know.

    • “No doubt they’re still playing the victim of their terrible decisions,”

      I think most of them continue to do this. Though I think deep down many of them know who is to blame.

  • No Karma to schmoopies as far as I know, but plenty to him. Karma came to him in the form of our spiritual leaders, who are also professional musicians, and the husband is a music director. Ex fancied himself an accomplished singer/songwriter and was desperate to make it big by making endless recordings of himself playing with music director, who I’ll call M. Some of the recording were very good. When I caught ex in on online affair with plans to marry his romance-scamming online catfishing schmoopie, ex ran to them with his version of what happened, specifically that nothing happened and I made it up. Months later, when I showed them his affair emails, they supported me completely. I had no idea how completely until I learned, several more months later, that M had also refused to work with my ex any more. M lost a significant amount of money he had earned from ex’s weekly music sessions. M told me that he did it because there has to be integrity in music as well as personal lives. Talk about integrity–this was during COVID shutdowns, and M could have used the money.

    Ex continued to make recordings and post them on-line, and the difference was immediately apparent. Although he worked with other professionals, almost everything he’s recorded since losing M’s services sounds awful–off-key, disharmonious, garbled, overblown, amateur. I don’t think ex had any idea how much M had contributed in shaping and performing his music. His musical aspirations and dreams of stardom were over.

    Karma also came in the form of heart attacks during our separation— which he made incredibly contentious and abusive— and after divorce. His flying monkeys left voice mails asking me to take our tween and visit him. When I didn’t respond, he had his NURSE call. I asked her if she realized I was his ex, and explained he had been abusive to me and child, and we had no interest in visiting.

    He’s been in and out of psych facilities, and is now in assisted living. I’m in the marital home, and per court orders and our now-teen’s request, they have zero contact. Life is pretty pathetic for the man who expected strangers to envy him for his hot babe and music career.

    • GF, that is epic! I’ll be happy all day after reading that. I wish there were more people like M.

  • Just from some of the bits and pieces I hear from adult kids I think the joy is gone. I do wish things stay stable with them as it does affect the kids. Or maybe I don’t…tee hee.

  • Today is my birthday, and 2 years ago I spent it at trial listening to my ex explain how he owed me nothing. He spent at least $80k on his girlfriends. So, I’m studying to be a CPA and was in the midst of taking Fraud Examination, Ethics, Etc. I was learning exactly how to discover and correctly document fraud. I did need to have a forensic accountant verify and testify on my behalf in court. So the guy who “never had an affair with that co-worker” was ordered by the court to “reconstitute the estate” for his breach of fiduciary duty to me. His side of the settlement contained $80,000 of phantom money to represent what he had already mid-spent. That means that I got $80k in real assets. Having a Final Ruling of the Court finding that he HAD committed fraud and ordering him to pay for it is the BEST THING EVER. It also quickly shuts up anyone who is surprised that this sparkly, talented guy could cheat on his wife. My reply: He spent the college fund on his girlfriends and the judge found that he committed fraud and ordered him to pay it back after a 4 day trial.
    What I don’t say: Mr. Perfect could not fathom that what he did was wrong and that there actually was a powerful entity that could force accountability.
    He heard about the ruling very late in the evening, before I heard the next day. He was immediately on the phone with each daughter telling them that it wasn’t true and the court screwed him and he didn’t do it.
    When your husband tells you that you are crazy and paranoid for 23 years, and then the Court says Hell No, that’s an important turning point.

    • Happy Birthday Sarah in Texas!!!! Yikes I wish I had had the funds to hire an accountant – 35 years of us always being broke when there should have been enough. So glad you got yours.

      • Same about the being broke. With the addition of the revelation during divorce that he hadn’t been paying off the home equity loan that he insisted on taking out, resulting in us owing all kinds of late fees and penalties as well as being upside down on the condo he had insisted on buying (divorce was taking place after the bottom fell out of the local real estate market) and thus resulting in my being homeless for 6 months after the divorce. I still have no idea where the money went (some of it must have gone to his deadbeat daughter but that wouldn’t account for all of it). He’s been engaged twice since then – that’s all I know about his life and all I care to know, although I can use my imagination for the details. I’m happily remarried to a good guy, and I will trust karma to do her thing.

      • Same here, my son and I scrimped and did without because he wanted his boat and there was never money. I went to work part time in a school cafeteria to buys clothes for my son and myself and for FW by the way. I also paid for our health insurance through our job. More money that the whore got.

        I did run the last couple years of our credit card when fw left and found lots of charges that were for women clothes and a boys stuff that was too young for my son. With that, fw had to pay back some of that with a temp separation agreement. But, I wish I had back my part of all the money he spent on whores and gambling.

    • Happy birthday, and excellent work getting the thieving FW in trouble. Love it.

    • You are awesome and badass !! I had a few horrible birthdays in the mess and Dday happened when I found a love letter that he wrote to Schmoops for her birthday. The fact that a dad would gut his kids college fund for a whore is ghastly (my story above was his willingness to promise luxuries to OW while his kids had no college fund) and Im glad that he had comeuppance.

    • I hope your kids told him to shove his lies up his ass. What a horrible, horrible person.

  • FW#1 Karma story – she was our next door neighbor who I helped watch her kids, cooked her meals, etc. He was highly abusive in so many ways. I wanted a third child and he refused. It came out that they tried getting pregnant while we were still married and she had several miscarriages. They got married a year after we divorced and had the “Love” child about 9-12 months after that. All the while, pulling the usual abusive scum bag crap that FW’s do to me. Then took the me through a nasty child custody battle which lasted years. I was in shambles while they seemed picture perfect….UNTIL….it came out to the psychiatrist and guardian ad litem who put us through a borage of personality testing for the custody battle that my ex was forcing my children to lie about me. Even forced our daughter to write a letter which he used to fuel the custody battle. I kept custody of my kids and the psychiatrist/guardian ad litem wrote a scathing report about my ex and told me to use it on him whenever I needed it. AFTER this moment my ex’s life went to shit with smoochie….who we now call “Sumo Wrestler Smoochie” because shortly after I won the custody battle it came out that she was physically beating him. Her famous move was throat punching him and wrestling him while he was on the ground into a choke hold. Needless to say, after the police were called and then called me he lost his kids for a while until they finally divorced years later. He is now on 3rd String.

    FW#2 Karma story – I met FW#2 while FW#1 were in the middle of our divorce. I didn’t realize it at the time but he was a worse personality disordered narc than FW#1. He was charming, nice, “God Fearing” (when I hear that it now makes me want to barf!), from what I could see “successful”, etc. We had a 1.5yr long distance relationship before he moved here, we got engaged, and then later married. When we moved in together is when the MAJOR abuse started to reveal itself and because I was in the throws of a nasty custody battle with my ex I was scared to leave or show any discourse with FW#2 know my FW#1 would use it against me. So, I stayed for my kids (again) and that asswipe took full advantage of knowing I was stuck. He alienated me from friends/family, emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically abused me….even threatened to kill me and my kids. I finally fled after the physical abuse escalated and he beat me black/blue and bloody. I packed up me and my kids stuff and left within 24 hrs while he was still in jail. Our divorce granted 3 months later. A couple of months before I fled, I uncovered that he hadn’t paid taxes for 10 years prior us meeting along with other tax fraud. After that revelation I told him I didn’t want to file with him on taxes and at first he agreed. Then, Mr. Hyde came out and he physically beat me to file with him. So, afraid for my life, I did. After I fled I went into hiding and tried to reach out to the IRS about everything but didn’t hear from them about those taxes until 4 years later where they said I owed over $55,000. All the triggers surfaced and I was panicked for days until I finally got my shit together called the IRS advocacy line and did everything I needed to do to build my case against FW#2. Lucky for me, when I fled I took as much evidence as I could because I had a really bad feeling to why he demanded I file with him. I sent the IRS all of it….and when I say all of it I mean a 2.5 inch thick stack of papers uncovering all of his spending, tax evasion, and abuse. The IRS dropped everything and from what I understand put it all on him plus major penalties. Soon after, I found out he filed bankruptcy and I think may be facing criminal charges.

    FW#3 Karma story – FW#3 was a “good” friend. We had known each other for years (even while I was with FW#2) before we decided to get together after FW#2. We were just BF/GF but talked of marriage….he knew what I had been through so I told him it would be a while for me to get ready for that step. The short of it, he cheated on me the entire time we were together but the icing on the cake was he cheated on me with the 26 yr. younger than him nanny/girl I mentored and gave clothes/food/money too. When their relationship came to light it about killed me because I was 3 for 3 for relationships and all were cheaters. Our mutual friends were appalled by his behavior because everyone knew I had been put through the ringer, so they ALL ghosted him. He lost every single friend in our community and he knew it was because of how he treated me. He has called our friends multiple times asking why can’t we all be friends and begging them to hang out of which they have all told him “NO” because of how he treated me. He and “Suicidal Sidepiece” are now married and I hear they are very unhappy even thought they try to act perfect on social media. (He is 54 and she is 28) She keeps him on a tight leash and when she wants attention she will cut herself and threaten to kill herself, him, and his boys.

    Last, My Redemption Story: I was toast after FW#3 but I did the hard work on myself to fix my picker and heal. As people saw me heal and get stronger they started begging me to try one last time at love and kept asking me to date one particular guy. In fact 4 different groups of friends kept pushing the same guy and all 4 had no idea what the other 4 groups were suggesting the same guy too. Finally at a mutual friends wedding, one of the groups played cupid and asked me and my now fiancé to come for drinks before the wedding. We had known each other for years but we were always doing our own thing and I think both of us were scared to get hurt again. Our whole community had been pushing us to get together for YEARS and we wasted time on FW’s. We are now very happy together and have been going on 3.5 years. We are getting married in a month. Here is the kicker, he was a chump too. He is described as being overly nice, caring, empathetic, puts other people first….just like me. We are two peas in a pod and I am so relieved to have finally found peace in my life with a peaceful, healthy, and loving partner…..while all my FW’s are in misery.

    • SC, that is one of the sweetest gain a life stories I’ve ever heard. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

    • FW#3 makes me particularly mad. I’ve had a couple of “good” friends like this. Any nuggets about how you fixed your picker?

  • Jackass’s MOW (married other woman) has lost 3 siblings, a bro-in-law, and her mother in the 10 years since D-Day. She got divorced eventually but Jackass discarded her. There was always a lot of potential for her situation to get too messy for him as she had 3 kids not launched at the time. He married someone else, a woman whose kids were grown and who had a house of her own for him to move into and eventually leverage into a jointly held new home for the two of them. Some giant expensive new toys, too. And now I see Facebook shenanigans starting up again.

    Keeping an eye on Jackass, usually for posts like this, isn’t pain shopping for me. It’s research. He’s a case study in “you aren’t the boss of me” and the rule that fuckwits and jackasses don’t change. That’s what Karma is for me, knowing that he’s just an alien species that destroys everything he touches. And meanwhile, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

    • “It’s research. ”

      Yep, I think so many of us have a book in us. However, the books would likely be so similar.

      • I think CL’s next book should be case studies that illustrate her principles. She’s got all the material she needs!

  • Somehow I ended up with both ex and Schmoopie attending my three year delayed 50th birthday party last weekend (it’s a long story and completely my fault so can’t complain about that). Anyway, although everyone was polite to them, Schmoopie got to see me be the center of attention surrounded by people who love and support me and heaping compliments on me about what a great party it was and how delicious the food that I had made. I made three cakes that all turned out wonderfully. Schmoopie got handed a piece by ex which she then had to eat. I heard later that she got offended one time when my son was at her place and remarked on how much he loves the cakes I make. Ex claims that she actually wanted to go to the party and it wasn’t just him coaxing her into it but I have my doubts.

    • I hope you’ve closed whatever portal allowed these two FWs to invade your party. But it’s mighty of you to know that nothing they did could spoil your party.

  • As others have pointed out, I consider karma is not having to worry about their highs and lows anymore.

    Just really being Schmoopie is her karma. She had a terrible life and from what little I know, I assume it is still terrible. Her entire personal value is being surrounded by men (even FW admitted she only had one female friend). Last I knew she and FW were not together, but since I didn’t really know these people, who knows what’s going on now.

    But here’s my very personal karma with her:

    Two months post-divorce (in total, 4 months post-separation), one day I was in a mostly empty supermarket aisle looking at something on my phone. Someone almost ran me over with their cart, didn’t say “oh, sorry” like anyone bumping accidentally would, and when I looked up, Schmoopie was walking away. So ridiculous, I didn’t even remember I should have been hurt by seeing her!

    I didn’t say anything and just went back to my phone, then finished shopping. Later my friends had a good laugh about it. And that day Schmoopie learned that I couldn’t care less about her.

    Last time I saw her I tried to smile and say hi in passing. She does not even look at me. I’m loving it.

    • ‘Just really being Schmoopie is her karma. She had a terrible life and from what little I know, I assume it is still terrible. Her entire personal value is being surrounded by men (even FW admitted she only had one female friend). Last I knew she and FW were not together, but since I didn’t really know these people, who knows what’s going on now.’

      Exactly. I'm never going to to like schmoops for what she did, but her real punishment is being herself: an alcoholic who is a deadbeat mother, doesn't have a good relationship with her family, has no real friends and has wasted herself on a string of men who used her as an option.

      I feel sorry for her kids; they’re her ongoing victims.

      • Ditto here; my FW’s Schmoopie has a 13 year old. What an impressionable age to be in a house with these two idiots, the poor kid…

  • I rarely communicate with Fuckwit and only in regard to the kids. I do see him and the Craigslist wifetress at kiddo sporting events. I only know tiny tidbits of what they are up to from the extremely few times teen kiddo has visited them. Fuckwit wants to be outdoorsy but is not really. Early in the pandemic, they moved out of their apartment and bought some hilly raw land on a steep dirt road about an hour away. They planned to convert a shed into a tiny home and had to live in a tent for a few weeks during cold winter weather as shed delivery was delayed. They ruined an SUV (not 4-wheel drive) when it got stuck in their muddy dirt road. They went more than a year with no electicity. They still have no indoor plumbing. They use an outhouse!! Fuckwit has to drive more than an hour each way to his job in downtown as VP of something at a wealth management company. Fuckwit probably has it easier than Craigslist wifetress as he goes into a fancy downtown city office building with bathrooms, kitchenette space, exercise/shower facilities. She’s got an outhouse and a barrel of rainwater. I think they are their own karma.

  • As for the primary co-homewrecker, she has never had a relationship with him free and clear, without a third party involved. He was married to me when he invited her on board, and after he took off with her, our daughter caught him on Tinder. She is a character disordered individual with serious problems and chose the same. I heard she caught him going to the massage parlors.

    As for the co-homewrecker I was married (miraged) to, things are not how he thought they would be. Our daughter wants nothing to do with him, and he traded her for a character disordered woman (and others) who screws around with people in committed relationships. Not an upward move.

    Cheaters don’t get character transplants.
    They switch things around on the outside, thinking things will be different and better. They fail to address their insides, from where their discontent originates.

    In the news, I read yesterday that the side piece of murderer dentist, James Craig, is in hiding. Good. Evidently she is a Jesus cheater as well. Her children attended an elite Christian private school. The number of lives ruined by these two morality devoid morons, including eight children and one spouse who is now dead, is sickening. I’m glad to see swift social consequences descending on her.

    • “Meh” to me is being glad I am not married to him anymore, and feeling repulsed by him. Seeing who he is instead of the Nice Guy mirage who I thought he was. Not believing that she is some kind of wonderful, better than me who got my wonderful husband. I don’t miss him, love him, want him.
      I am firmly there.

      The remaining issue for me is justice.

      I am human, and as a violated human with no recourse for this particular unbelievably painful and damaging violation, you bet I savor every single schadenfreudelicious morsel that comes my way.

      OJ was sent to social prison. He was shunned by those he wanted acceptance from, and embraced by those he wanted nothing to do with. He may not have been sent to prison, but he didn’t get away with it.

      “It is naive to think they will be able to stop something that has become a habit–namely, lying. The cheating is a symptom–not of the marriage issues–but of the character deficit of the cheater.”

      -Dr George Simon

      They each picked Door Number Three with the booby prize hidden behind it.

      “Never interfere when your enemy is making a mistake.”


    • The Universe dealt that woman Karma for the Ages. In peoples worst nightmares, Im sure no Schmoopie imagine their secret intimate Schmoopisms on the internet for all to see in a murder investigation. The killer dentist was broke and he would know how much $$ that orthodontists make. What a clusterfuck and those poor kids…damn.

  • A few years ago, I found out by one of my kids that my X FW had a heart attack. I don’t ask my kids any questions about FW or his whore/wifetress, nor do I talk about them, so I was surprised they told me. I gray rocked the information. Yay, me!!! One of my thoughts were, “He broke my heart and God let his be broken too.” Yet, his broken heart can now kill him and mine is no longer broken! So, every day going forward he gets to live with “The big one!” might be coming (think Sanford and Son for people in my age bracket). Maybe he should have listened to me when I told him eating ice cream every day wasn’t good for his body. Or all the other junk he poured down his lying mouth. But I didn’t want to be a “nag” or “controlling” so I kept what I knew about health and nutrition to myself. I served pretty healthy dinners every day and what he did at work (cheat!) and his own time (cheat!) was on him. Fun Fact: “Italian researchers found that men in longterm extramarital relationships were more likely to experience a serious heart event than other men.” Karma!

    I don’t wish poor health on anyone, so for any Chumps out there that’s had or is having heart issues, I’m sorry and I hope you recover and get back to great health! This little bit of karma is for me, and I take it for the gift that it is, because I doubt there will be more as my X FW is GREAT at impression management. Plus, I’m 100% no contact, so I have no idea what he’s up to, nor do I care. I remember the day that I was sitting in his lap in his den and saying to him, “You are breaking my heart.” And he was cold, indifferent and didn’t care. And my heart felt broken for a very long time. Like pain, brokenness, like my heart was not in one piece and would never be again. Well, my heart healed and that pain in my chest that I thought would never go away is gone! Meh! My life is so peaceful living without a pathological lying, serial cheating, porn masturbating, stripper fxcking FW!

    • I never thought of it from this angle. I remember on D-day feeling like a gutted fish that my insides had been ripped open and he was so cold and throwing grenade after grenade at me about all my failings and that married howorker put him #1. He said their affair was going on for 1 year which at that time I thought oh wow that’s a long time to lead a double life. I filed for divorce immediately and less than 18 months after our divorce was finalized, he died in his sleep of a massive heart attack. After his death, one of his friends let it slip that the affair was probably happening for the last 3 years of our marriage. So those Italian researchers are probably on to something with cheaters having higher risk of heart problems.

  • The term karma stands for an active force; it means that future events are in our own hands, as defined by the Dalai Lama.
    My understanding of karma is that every action has consequences. Whether for the acting person or their environment.

    My former husband and father of my sons is living a carefree life with the woman he left me for and with who he destroyed our family. The two travel a lot, have a large circle of acquaintances, often go out to eat and he spoils her with very expensive gifts.
    I think they both have a very good life together.
    One obvious consequence – karma – is that he only sees his children twice a month and does not have a particularly close and intimate bond with them. But that is a consequence that my children also have to endure.
    That makes me sad and it’s not something I “grudge” him.

    I think that many want to see some kind of punishment here when they talk about karma.
    In my case this is not the case. Our kids are the losers, I’m the loser. We are unhappy.
    The new couple looks happy.

    • The way it looks is usually not the way it is. These kind of people are adept at image management. That being said, they are shallow, so they don’t miss having a relationship with their kids. He’ll miss it when he’s old and sick and they don’t come to visit him, though. Nobody wants to die alone, and schmoopies, being selfish, often vanish at that time, or at the very least, are not conscientious caregivers. So you may have to wait to see him get his just desserts, but it seems likely that he’ll get them.

      • “The way it looks is usually not the way it is”

        So, so true. After all many if not most of us saw our marriages and lives B-Discard and totally different than it actually was. They lie to everyone.

        But, to me Karma just mean you reap what you sow. It is not an absolute, for instance I don’t think many folks who get sick sowed sickness. But, for our actions yeah pretty much.

    • When your ex is old or becomes sick, your kids won’t feel guilty not seeing him. Any parent that dumps their kids for some homewrecking twit doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged. As for the excessive gifts, dining out and traveling…his gut may be telling him she’ll move on if he doesn’t stay over the top generous.

  • FWs latest schmoopie knew him from school (she’s not the original schmoopie so I bear her no ill will – except that she’s a right poser and a pain in the butt and my kids don’t like her). Anyway, I digress. She came over here to France and in one week became the expert on all things French. When she had to go back to the US she found a house for them to buy (he hadn’t seen it) and he dashed back a couple of weeks later in 2015 and they bought the house together. She was then telling everyone how much she hated France (dixit my MIL) but he told me they’d been to the consulate to try to get her an immigration visa and it was refused. Anyway, he has a damn good pension and she started posting all over FB that she was retired (at age 51). Well yeah, FW has a great pension but he’s TERRIBLE with money so a couple of years later she was back to work working 12 hour days! And now she has to live with that AH and I don’t (oh and I have money in the bank despite my pension being half his because I know how to handle money and he doesn’t)! So he sees me travelling and helping my kids out financially during covid and assumes I have a rich BF. Nah, idiot, I’m just no longer married to you!

    • Great, Attie! Similar story; after I cleaned him out, FW could no longer afford to retire as he had planned, even though he has a good pension. He’ll be working another ten years by the looks of it. I’m retired and enjoying the leisure. Boo hoo, FW.

      • FW is retired but only because he was put on invalidity (bipolar). I’m retired 4 years now and loving it too!

  • When I was going through the agony, and hoping to live long enough to get to the ecstasy, I used to become enraged when I found yet another OW, or another place I had been cheated on financially. I had to stop and tell myself I had been in a wreck, the marriage was totaled, I was never going to be restored to full value, but I had survived the wreck.

    I also had faith that Ex(s) were never going to change and would constantly lie. Schmoops were a dime a dozen, and never got what they thought they were getting. I had to stay in touch with the father of my sons because of my sons, so I learned how much he resented my success. I suppose he believed I would fall apart and live in poverty. He was quite disappointed that I stayed employed in my “little jobs” and was able to buy a home, help my children navigate through school and college, and live a fairly good life on my “low-paying jobs.” I always worked in jobs with health benefits and retirement plans, during the days when my children were in school, and though I was not a top executive, we were able to eat and pay bills on time. The fact was I prospered when I was no longer being emotionally and financially drained. He just could not accept the fact that my life turned out better than his. My karma was that he was always unhappy with the way things were, and always looking for some outside resource to suddenly give him the life he thought was his due. I had the opposite attitude. I was grateful for opportunity, willing to work, and ended up in much better shape than I had hoped for.

    Thanks Karma! I’ve always heard you can be a bitch, but you were my guardian angel! I went through some bad times, but I learned some valuable lessons when I survived them. In hindsight, I don’t think my Ex’s had the capacity to learn anything, or to be self-aware. ‘This is the way the world ends’, T. S. Eliot tells us at the end of his 1925 poem, ‘The Hollow Men’: ‘not with a bang but a whimper.’ This quote seems appropriate on so many levels!

    • I have a bit of love/hate with my profession. I love the work itself in a vacuum but not the company I work for. I looked around at competition and where I am is the best there is, so I have no desire to leave. But that was all I kept hearing from FW was that I wasn’t earning enough and I should be promoted (which would have put me in a position I didn’t want) or jumped ship. It wasn’t about my happiness but about $$$. I’m not trying to set the earth on fire and rule the world. The work I do it rewarding and my position is where the rubber meets the road and I feel I am making the biggest impact. But if you ask FW, it’s a low paying job and I should be earning more.

      And once D-day hit, the realization struck that he likely has been trying to talk me into a higher paying position so he won’t end up paying so much support in the end. I never once pushed him to seek or take a position for more more more $. I had wanted him to find something that made him happy. There was a time when he blamed his work for his “sex addiction” because he was seeking to be soothed. 🙄 I always would have been happier to downsize and find ways to make things work financially with less. My tastes are not expensive. But he is all about money and image. Not one weed may grow in his yard. The cars can’t go two weeks without a wash/wax to keep them looking showroom new. Ugh. I would love to drive an old beater and live with a yard full of weeds as long as I don’t have a FW sucking the joy out of every minute.

      • One of our first marital arguments (in 1993) was about how you measure success. Asshat based it on how much one makes vs. what one contributes to society. So I said “Gandhi was a failure”? I was shocked that he thought this way. It was an eye opener. Fast forward to final discard in 2017 when he walked out the door and said “you bring me no value”. It was because I was a stay at home mom and didn’t earn $$. When I was in contact during the divorce (BIG mistake), I was trying to figure out ways to make money and was discussing a candy business idea. He mocked me and laughed at me, saying that endeavor would never make money.

        It took a moment (and a sabotage by him and HoWorker/Wife on what would have been a great job), but I’ve found jobs that have provided me $$ and now benefits. I have been able to give $$ to my daughter for a down payment on a house and have been on several vacations with my kids. I realized I was the one grateful and happy for what we had during our marriage, incuding being incredibly happy with our 900 sq ft apartment when our kids were little, because I was working on a future. HoWorker/Wife has purchased a very expensive condo and a million dollar farm, yet they’ve had to take out a $500,000 mortgage so she can fix up their barn. She will always want more.

        Learning to be content and grateful is a skill Asshat doesn’t possess. Bummer!

        • Absolutely this. When I first lived with ex-FW we were in one room in a shared house in a major city which was tough. But then once I got a job we moved to a tiny one bed in a town we both had a connection to. It wasn’t much but it was nice. Ex picked it out because it was a character cottage and he fell in love with it. But he was…forever dissatisfied. He didn’t want to help me decorate it. He complained about the size a lot. Yeah it was small but it suited our needs at the time and it was what we could afford, had nice neighbours etc. He also complained that it was too far from [major city] (even though he hated living there and we decided to move away). I was just happy and excited we were living our lives together. I could understand if he’d been forced to move there by circumstance, but he just wasn’t happy anywhere tbh – wherever you go, there you are. I’m pretty happy on the other hand!

  • I’ve been meh for a while now and nearly forgot about this until just now. I think this qualifies as Schmoopie karma…

    In 2015 FW left me for coworker schmoopie. She’s not much younger than me — maybe a few years — in her 40s at the time. She thinks she’s so smart… Her dad was a family law attorney so she likes to act like she’s an attorney by default. I believe she was giving legal advice to FW. Told him that all he had to do was move out and pretend he wasn’t living with her and then he’d be legally separated and there’s was nothing I could do about it.

    Except her dad was a family law attorney in a neighboring state that is no fault. Not the same as our state. I had no background in family law, but a simple Google search showed that I could file for adultery in my state, even AFTER FW moved out — there’s no “legal separation” in my state. Those dopes.

    I easily got the proof I needed with a PI… they thought they were free and clear and openly flaunting their relationship. And was able to file within 2 weeks of DDay/FW leaving me.

    Then I discovered that Schmoopie was still married! Her husband moved out 4 years before and had moved back to Germany (where he’s from). So I did some internet sleuthing and found him in Germany and let him know that FW had moved in with her and his 2 boys. It qualifies as adultery. So when AP finally filed for divorce (about a year later) — she no longer qualified for spousal support in our state because she was committing adultery.

    I got to see what she ended up with — zero spousal support. Oh the fuck well.

    • “she no longer qualified for spousal support in our state because she was committing adultery”
      ooooh snap !

    • Good one! For all of their conniving, these folks aren’t terribly bright.

  • Here’s a karma story delivered to my mailbox! I received a letter from the IRS addressed to me. Inside the envelope was a form that was instructing a bank to freeze the assets of the listed taxpayers in order to satisfy unpaid back taxes of tens of thousands of dollars.

    The taxpayer was my ex-spouse and his new wife (AP) for tax years that occurred after our divorce was final. They’ve only been married for about 3 years. I can’t believe I was literally contacted by the government to notify me that his life is still a chaotic mess!

    I assume the IRS contacted me as I was a creditor years ago… still checking to make sure I’m not impacted by this. But it wasn’t my bank, not during any years of our marriage, and I wasn’t listed on this very final notice of asset seizures. I don’t owe him money, and he no longer owes me money. Oh, and I have to imagine that they’ve got the money to pay it as they are very high salaried professionals…. however, he was fired a few years ago for improper conduct. Maybe he hasn’t found a new job. Or maybe he never bothered to open any of his mail. Not my circus. Not my monkeys!

  • My Schmoopie’s karma is just that someday Love Child will pull up Ancestrydotcom and Daddy will have had a wife that wasn’t mommy five months back from her Birthday.

    That’s always going to be true no matter how they spin it.

    And that the Sluterus with all her relative youth will also age, looking more and more like Bruce Springsteen with Bosoms.

  • Like so many chumps here, I don’t really have any karma stories, since I blocked the FW. I really am not interested in any aspects of his life. However, I have witnessed my xMIL’s karma – she was an OW multiple times (such a great role model). When she left her 2nd husband for her married shmoopie and moved her 2 teenaged sons into shmoopie’s house, things just didn’t work out. She lost custody of her 3rd son (2nd husband was the dad) on the grounds of adultery and alcoholism, and her shmoopie started cheating on her immediately after their marriage, which lasted not quite 2 years. “He CHEATED on me!!” sez the pot.

    She was a bitter/angry/self-righteous drunk. She once cried that her life didn’t work out as she thought it would, and was so, so bitter about that. Oh, but she guessed that having the kids was kinda a good thing. Maybe. Then she thought a while, and admitted that she probably should never have been a mom, and probably wasn’t the best mother.

    She DID manage, on her own, to purchase a small house. Kudos, there.

    She is truly one of the most narcissistic people I have ever met, and was a horrible role model for her children. For her two older sons (FW was one of them), she was the sane parent. Scary.

    The last time I saw her, she was still stumbling around drunk, deluding herself that putting ice in her wine diluted it. It certainly makes those 2 bottles a day go longer, I guess.

    • ” “He CHEATED on me!!” sez the pot.”

      I found out much later that fw cheated on his schmoopie. She even feined leaving him. Lol, like she was going to give up that meal ticket. Anyway, he confessed to my daughter in law that he cheated on whore-wife.

      I wondered if she reckoned back to the day they were alley catting and felt any twinge of guilt. Nope, what am I saying. I deserved to be cheated on, she didn’t.

      FW was just doing what cheaters/liars do, being himself. I am certain he never gave it a second thought.

  • Schmoopie’s karma is that she has the FW — a man nearly 30 years older than she, who stays in a job for AT MOST two years (pattern throughout our 20-year relationship), is a voracious consumer of p0rn, collects maxed-out credit cards like Pokémon, has NO clue that the others around him aren’t NPCs (non-playable characters in a video game), falls for EVERY. SINGLE. MLM/direct sales/”it’s not a pyramid scheme; those are illegal” pyramid scheme that comes his way, and whose dream job changes as often as he changes his underwear.
    Said dream jobs over our marriage: Financial advisor, minister of a megachurch, motivational speaker, restaurateur, and if Instagram’s suggested follows are any indication, now he’s up to travel agent. Which is hilarious because any traveling we did during our relationship was bankrolled by yours truly.
    I don’t have specifics about any karma since I blocked him and keep re-blocking him, but I know his patterns, and wherever you go, there you are.

  • I’m at Meh, getting ready to move into my dream farm that my fiance and I purchased. Blindsided by Dday 8.5 years ago, 25 year marriage, divorce from hell was finalized 6+ years ago. My life is so full today with two careers, 6 kids (2 bonus kids with my fiance), friends, family, pets, etc., but I do feel a bit of justice when I hear how poorly XH and AP are doing and I know that in the early days I would have given anything to find out how it turned out, so here goes: 5 months after false wreconciliation when kids caught XH yet again in contact with 16 year-younger AP and I said GTFO, XH immediately moved her out of her daddy’s basement and into a studio apartment downtown (XH and I have 4 kids and had lived in a large house in the suburbs for 20 years . . . talk about regression!). We didn’t see XH for 18 months. My middle daughter had a scary OD and I sent her to rehab. When she got out, she continued to push boundaries, stole my car, linked up with her drug dealer boyfriend, got arrested again for MIP (she was 17). She refused my boundaries and moved in with Xh and AP in that studio apartment. I thought I’d die again of the grief. Daughter despises AP and made her life a living hell. Daughter told me all kinds of interesting things: XH had no furniture — only a mattress on the floor and AP said, “we don’t like material things, we just like to have FUN!!!!” WTF?! My daughter was having none of that living in a sleeping bag on a floor and had Dad moved into a 2 bedroom apartment near our home, ordered all new furniture for the place, fully outfitted the kitchen, etc. Daughter was more adult at 17 than AP at 34 and XH at 52. The apartment got so rank (neither AP nor XH clean or cook) that she hired a cleaning lady who took one look at the filth and refused to return. Did I mention that I’m a lawyer but also a terrific homemaker, cook, very neat and tidy with a beautiful home that runs smoothly? AP and XH fought like cats and dogs. Finally my daughter moved away to college. Next thing I heard was that XH bought a home near our old home but didn’t tell AP — can you imagine? Living off of someone and they buy a home and plan to move without telling you? Apparently AP found out and weaseled her way into the new home. She finally finished grad school and got a job. First thing she bought — a brand new Mercedes SUV — don’tchaknow she isn’t material! Liar! I drive a 2015 toyota with cloth seats and I love it! I learned a few additional things: XH was on Tinder and hooked up with a former colleagues’ ex-wife. She dated him for a month and they were hot and heavy when she discovered he was living with AP — AP didn’t know XH was cheating on her — there was a big showdown. AP told our kids that she hates XH so much she fantasizes about slitting his throat in his sleep. Youngest spent a single night over at XH’s and she woke up at 3 am — AP was under the dining room table sobbing her eyes out dead drunk slurring to my then -16 year old, how much she hated my XH – how old he was, how this wasn’t the life she wanted, all her friends were getting married and having kids and going on honeymoons in Hawaii and she was stuck with this old, fat, disgusting slob. My daughter was horrified — this homewrecker stole her father and her childhood (she was 9 when DDay happened) and was crying on her shoulder. What a c*nt!

    Last year, XH told the kids that he hired a lawyer to try to get AP out of his house, but that he is blackmailing him. Hmmmmm….. too bad so sad, not! AP has been in and out of the hospital with drug addiction-related injuries — hit her head so bad from a drug and alcohol induced fall that she has seizures now. XH has been in the hospital over a dozen times from alcohol poisoning, heart condition from using adderral off label, etc. Disaster.

    • Wow what a couple of drama llamas! Evidently that is what they want their life to be. So sad that they don’t realize what it takes to be truly happy. So glad you got out!!

  • For the only AP I have a name for… After I told his wife, he was/is living in an apartment not in the house with his wife/ex-wife. So did they get a divorce? Who knows?

  • My ex left me for a fabulous, independent woman young enough to be my daughter. So much better than me in every way!


    She quit her job, quit school, moved in with him, does not cook not clean like I did, went on a voluntary 72 hour psych hold and then went on meds and promptly gained 50 pounds. I was too fat for him and she’s substantially bigger than me now so… I also know that he went on a date with another woman the night she left for the hospital because my son told me about it.

    So… I guess he’s just living his best life! I have zero sympathy for either of them. They both deserve whatever they do to each other. My life is so peaceful now. I can’t believe how few problems I have compared to before. Turns out I’m actually a really happy person who gets along with darn near everyone when I don’t have a sociopath fucking with my head.

  • I was 25, he was in his 40s… which tells you everything you need to know.

    He made out with another woman in front of me at a party and didn’t even look up while I fled. He dumped me later that night over email saying we were no longer compatible, I sucked, and all our friends hated me. Days earlier, he told me he loved me and asked me to move across the country to be with him.

    Later, I found out this sociopath had a fiancee the whole time, but she didn’t care because (she told me) they were in an open relationship. I had no idea. I focused on rebuilding my life from a hole in the ground.

    Ten years later…

    I’ve gone from waiting tables to a lucrative 6-figure corporate job. Went to trauma therapy. Leveled up in every way. Great family, great friends, healthy, wealth, and wise. Life is great.

    Meanwhile, Fuckwit’s life has been one disaster after the next for the last decade…

    He’s in his 50s and still hasn’t managed to start his career, no matter how much his wife begs him to get a job.

    They lost everything a few years ago because their apartment was ground zero for the worst toxic mold infestation in city history. I’m told Fuckwit went to the hospital and the skin on his hands sloughed off. They sued their landlord and got nothing.

    Recently, the entire family had to move house while sick with Covid. Fuckwit was on death’s door. The dog died.

    Everybody in the community hates Fuckwit because he’s an asshole who burns bridges. Word got out about how he cheated on me and now people are shunning him. Fuckwit is losing his network and job opportunities because of what he did.

    Fuckwit is pissed and insists he did nothing wrong, I’m just a crazy lovesick girl who’s mad I got rejected. Everyone thinks he’s delusional because I’m doing great and NEVER talk about him while Fuckwit is clearly the trainwreck. I’m told Fuckwit is upset I haven’t forgiven him but I blocked him long ago so he can’t reach me.


    • “They lost everything a few years ago because their apartment was ground zero for the worst toxic mold infestation in city history. I’m told Fuckwit went to the hospital and the skin on his hands sloughed off.”

      This gets my vote for best karma.

      • LOL before you cast your vote, see the P.S. I just added beneath my original comment.

    • P.S.

      Oh, my favorite part… I’m told Fuckwit has been announcing that he’s “thinking of retiring” and got really mad when the other person replied, “From what?”

  • As far as I know fuckwit is still getting his sexual needs fulfilled by Craigslist cuties.. no long term “partners.”. He doesn’t comprehend what live is, is incapable of feeling that emotion. I think he has always been broken so unable to feel love… I’m sure he is happy with whatever he has. He thinks if himself as a wonderful person… completely unable to comprehend his brokenness. He brought his last “long term” partner to our home for years… even for Christmas and Thanksgiving when the kids were visiting. Oh, I was so emotionally abused the scars are huge…but Iat least I now understand the cycle of abuse and why I stayed. Karma? Living by himself and believing short term Craig’s list partners make a good life

  • We may interpret their crappy situation they made as karma, and feel snug. They will continually be blaming the world for their circumstances. Its not as gratifying for me if they dont recognize the error of their ways and atone.

    • They are not deep enough to do that. Part of trusting that they suck is trusting that they will always think that their taking and taking and taking from others is good. Many FWs cause damage to everyone around them but rise and do fine by standards many people accept – accumulation of wealth and power. Being away from them brings peace. If karma indeed hands them some kind of punishment, it’s just a nice to have.

      I honestly don’t care what happens to klootzak – who he is with, where he lives, how much $ he has – just as long as I can keep him as far out of my life as possible. I wish him all the happiness he deserves.

  • Just found out my Dad who died earlier this week left his former Schmoopie his entire estate. Somehow she got to him while he was struggling with dementia. My brothers are all fired-up & getting lawyers today. Schmoopie has KARMA coming for her big time. Stay tuned.

    • Good luck with your contesting the will. Unfortunately the attorneys will take a good chunk.

      • There was underhandedness that happened. The will was changed & it changed when dad had dementia. If the lawyers get it all, so be it. We’d rather that than the grifting, gold-digging Schmoopie.

  • Whether FW and AP-now-wife are happy or not, I don’t know. NC is great that way.

    Although I realize that not caring at all is true meh, I do like to fantasize that, in the still of the night, when FW and AP-now-wife, can’t sleep, they stare at the ceiling wondering what the fuck they have done to so royally mess up their lives. And, in the harsh light of the bathroom, they gaze down at their matching, massive, fading, sagging, upper-thigh fish tattoos and are horrified.

    • OMG Spinach. Now THAT is an image I am trying very hard to erase from my mind’s eye

  • My serial-cheating narcissistic FW has ED, which gets worse with every passing year. Even the blue pills weren’t helping much when he and I parted ways. I find that to be poetic justice. Now he is completely free to bed whomever he wants, but I highly doubt that it’s going well for him. It’s hard to roll down that road with a flat tire. If that’s not karma, I don’t know what is.

    • Flat tire! Good one! It took FW forever to “get there.” I hope his massage parlor hookers all got carpel tunnel while giving him happy endings!

      • “I hope his massage parlor hookers all got carpel tunnel while giving him happy endings!”


        My FW married the massage parlor ho he left me for, so this made me laugh. 😆 I have no idea what his life is like with the massage ho. I’m utterly and completely NC. He bought her a house, which was her primary goal, so she’s probably happy. I gave the relationship 6 months, but they’ve been married for three years. I can’t imagine what he could have in common with a person from a different culture who can barely speak his language. The novelty must have worn off by now and the honeymoon is likely over. But if she keeps up with the unlimited sex, blowjobs and free massages, he may be satisfied. Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

        His karma is that his daughter has cut him out of her life, and FW hasn’t seen his grandson in almost four years. There are other reasons behind this, not just the because of massage ho. My ex is a disordered, narcissistic freak, and my daughter does not want her son to be influenced by him in any way. Although, she has said if grandson ever asks to see his only living grandfather that she would take him. So far he hasn’t asked. He was 7 when he left for the massage ho, and didn’t have much of a relationship with FW. FW was always “too busy” to spend time with him, even though he was retired. We know now what was keeping him so busy. 🙄 Grandson barely remembers him.

        Our lives are so much more peaceful without him in it. Not quite to meh, but getting closer.

    • “It’s hard to roll down that road with a flat tire” Rofl ! Chump Nation saying of the week !

  • Maybe not karma so much as vengeance, but after years of not taking me for a ride on his motorcycle, I noticed hubs was suddenly carrying a second helmet on the back of it. When I questioned him about it, he told me that he gave a ride to a ‘friend.’ I already suspected the affair and knew he was lying, so I took gobs of Vaseline and coated the entire inside of the helmet. I smirked imagining her pulling the helmet on and hanging on to my husband on the back of the bike thinking she was the shit, but then getting to where they were going (a bar, the beach?), pulling that helmet off and having gobs of Vaseline all over her hair, LOL. The helmet disappeared after that and my hubs never said a word to me about it. Karma I guess, is that after being separated for a year and in marriage therapy for a year, we’ve now been together twenty years since the affair and he still kisses my ass daily, and she’s still alone. Sucks to be her!

    • Realist,
      I’m worried that YOU are still married to a cheating shit bag. They don’t change, they just learn to cover their tracks better.
      I worked with a woman who was nearing retirement. Her husband had abused her/cheated on her early in their marriage, he got his cheating cohort pregnant and she helped raise his son along with their own daughter. Well, guess who cheated AGAIN ? She was the major breadwinner and had to pay him a lump sum as she prepared for her golden years.

  • My SBTX husband’s sister. She dumped her husband, for no real reason. They had two little ones, and her husband adored her. I loved him, he was a great guy. One day (after they were divorced) she was at a community pool with her mother. She was in her mid 40’s at that time – met this guy in the pool. Went back to her mom sitting on the lounge chair and said “I want that guy”. To which her mom replied, “Isn’t he married?”. To which she said (verbatim) “But I WANT him!”. She did sleuthing and found out he was a police officer, went home the next day and put on her victoria secret underwear, (yup told me this) and went off to the police station where she got him into her car and seduced him (his fault too). Carried on as his mistress and then came the ultimatum “leave your wife and child or else no more sex”. So he did. Her mom kept announcing proudly to everyone after this that “Well, he makes her happy!”. And they stayed together pretty miserably for 10 years, (did not get married) until one day he blindsided her and left her for a younger woman. One month later he and this AP got married, huge ring, etc. One month after that, they bought a huge house. He’s gonna retire with his police pension soon. My STBX husband’s sister now struggling, had to have her dad move in with her to pay the rent. There was a reason all his police buddies called him “Jake the snake”

  • My ex committed suicide a year ago after she had him arrested for domestic abuse.

    He did it before they filed their taxes. He was supposed to be able to claim our older daughter Daisy, but ultimately didn’t plan ahead his offing.

    As soon as the funeral was over, I filed an amended return and claimed her before the end of March, which was substantial due to a large amount set aside for Covid relief. Schmoopie called me in May and asked to claim her, but I already had. She was going to owe 3,000 if she couldn’t use my daughter as a dependent. She asked me this AFTER she got a substantial life insurance payout and did not put any of it aside for Daisy or Violet, let alone pay me the back child support he owed me.

    Fast forward to the summer when she sold their house together, and the title company withheld his back child support out of the profit she got from the sale, which I did not know was going to happen and she was very upset by it. It was HIS debt, not hers, and she couldn’t see how it should be paid out of their joint property.

    Oh well.

    • Thank goodness that title company did its job! And if you are in the U.S. and the children are still minors, I hope you are getting the Social Security survivors benefits for them, too. (And as long as you were married to FW more than 10 years, you would qualify when you retire to claim on his record if the amount turns out to be higher than yours.) Thank goodness you got what was due to help take care of the kids.

  • The closest I came to karma was just a few weeks after we started separation but he still lived in the house we already knew would probably remain mine. (I found out later that he had rented a motel room for a month for trysts but wasn’t actually going there otherwise) Schmoopie’s mother had given him her old car, which he parked on the street so I could come and go with the family car which I would keep. Wouldn’t you know it, some driver crashed into the gift car, totalling it. A cop. It was the closest I got to getting the police on him!

    In over a decade since then, though, nothing; he lives a great life funded by my replacement, just as I once funded him. She’s getting to be the age I was when he started cheating, and they have a kid now too, so he may be getting bored again, but I don’t care anymore.

  • There’s a great quip in Spanish about side pieces that goes, “Don’t blame the pig but the one who fed her.” I heap the bulk of the blame on FW for destroying his family but, for the schmoopie schadenfreude exercise, I’ll focus on the AP’s offenses.

    I was warned about FW’s affair by two office “whistleblowers,” one of whom seemed more motivated by dislike towards the AP than any impulse to save me. It seems the AP had made enemies at work and her ego and big mouth sank her. After D-Day, FW was so freaked out about the AP’s lack of discretion that he dumped her by email. After he caught wind of her secret pregnancy scheme, he sent a brutal cease and desist notice and blocked her. This wasn’t a unicorn move on his part but obviously done out of fear of losing custody, getting saddled with another kid and probably professional embarrassment because the AP had begun as a direct report before moving to another firm to avoid potential lawsuits.

    I think the AP’s crash after her plans blew up was probably proportionate to how much she’d invested in it and part of that investment seemed to include hostility to me, someone she’d never met and whose family assets she was gobbling up. I don’t believe in karma but I think people’s aggression tends to boomerang, especially when they fail in some bullying campaign against others. Then it’s as if all the despair and self-loathing they’d hoped to displace onto targets come back to haunt the bully themselves. In any case, the AP crashed hard. Without FW to pay her way, she couldn’t afford to bar hop or club on her own salary and so drank alone at home. She went from excitedly crowing to her pals that FW’s marriage to “devil woman” (thus my screen name) was an “inch from over” to hermiting up in her basement studio and sending bizarre drunken texts, including death wishes towards me. According to workplace whistleblowers, she was going full bunny “boiler/single white female,” stalking social media and suddenly began copying my style of dress and hair. I was looking over my shoulder at that point and had visions of the house being burned down with the kids and I in it. It seems she ended up on antidepressants while continuing to binge drink. She went through an anorexic stage thinking if she could become scrawnier than me, she’d “win,” not realizing that I was underweight from trauma, not out of vanity, and that I wasn’t in the rat race anymore, just going along with wreckonciliation while quietly preparing for divorce. She dieted herself down to a scary piece of beef jerky, then gained twice as much weight back. Her cystic acne got worse and her hair even thinner. She was diagnosed with PCOS and it’s likely her pregnancy scheme would have failed anyway.

    Once it was apparent the AP probably wasn’t going to saddle my kids with a fetal alcohol syndrome half sib or throw acid in my face, I asked the office “Deep Throats” to stop sending gossip updates. It’s interesting how anger at foes fades along with fear once the foe is no longer a viable threat. It’s also interesting that fear-based intel-gathering on the AP kind of humanized her or at least made what she did seem less personal to me, more like a sewage disaster or mud slide. I can’t say I feel sorry for “mate poachers” but can see how the AP fell into a trap that’s pretty typical for millennials and pretty typical in general in our misogynistic, toxic, commercial, whatever culture that encourages people to measure their self worth comparatively and competitively to the point that they objectify themselves and everyone else in some fear-driven pursuit of an Instagram fantasy existence.

    I probably would never have considered all these things that deeply if it hadn’t been for FW’s betrayal. I have three gen Z kids, including a teen daughter, and spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to help the kids navigate away from certain psychological and health pitfalls that the millennial generation seem to be tumbling into like lemmings. I’m tail end of Gen X and a lot of pitfalls existed for my generation but not like this. Many of the things we hoped would improve like gender, racial and economic disparity didn’t get better while everything else has become worse. We didn’t grow up with streaming porn, Tinder hookups and sex pozzy proto-feminist propaganda (sex work is liberating!) on social media. We weren’t drowning in as many chemicals during developmental stages and didn’t come of age under the shadow of imminent ecological collapse and NSA snooping. We didn’t have the same terrifying rates of depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, suicide, loneliness, cardiometabolic issues, autoimmune disease, reversing life expectancy, plummeting marriage rates, student loan debt, hormone imbalances, gadget addiction, life-threatening allergies, neurological disorders and infertility. There’s nothing to celebrate in the fact that everyone under 40 faces unprecedented risks but people who lack any political and philosophical armature and draw all their wisdom from Disney and TikTok seem to be at particular risk and even the dumbest probably sense it even if they don’t understand the risks. Like any cornered animal, desperate humans can be dangerous. The price of being an unreflective follower is higher than it ever was and the importance of being aware never had such high stakes. Keeping my kids out of the weeds is what matters most now.

  • No Contact is great. But I know through the grapevine, and a few slip ups from my gently maintained relationship with the ex’s parents, that Schmoopie broke up with him. However, I doubt it was permanent. Knowing him, he’s still boomeranging back to her and they have an incredibly toxic relationship fueled by manic-depressive extremes. He was absolutely miserable with her. Maybe they’re getting married. Maybe they’re not and they’re actually broke up. No idea.

    I used to be friends with the Schmoopie. I actually have absolutely no resentment towards her because her life was shit and I was genuinely trying to help her at the time. I genuinely want her to get stability and a good job and good friends. I know that the boundary was pushed from friendship to a romantic/sexual relationship by by ex. Not her. He absolutely initiated and he had all the agency. Sure, she could have had the moral decency to respect that I was married and told him off, but yeah, she absolutely loved the attention he gave her.

    I still have bursts of hatred towards my ex. I still have PTSD fueled nightmares about him. I’m not at meh yet.

    But I’m glad he’s gone and I’m glad I don’t know what he’s up to now. In a way Schmoopie saved me, because he was already a porn addict and had some red flag behaviors in the past that I didn’t notice or overlook. I guess in some way I’m grateful to her for making it so obvious that I finally had enough evidence and motivation to divorce.

    The porn was never acceptable to me. If the couple doesn’t consent to porn usage in a relationship, it’s already cheating. He was cheating on me with videos of internet chicks from day one. I’m absolutely certain it was a flesh and blood woman at more than one occasion, too. Schmoopie just helped me see the light.

    I actually do hope she has a good life, whenever she is. If my ex is the guy giving her that good life somehow, it’s whatever. I can be meh about that. But odds are, karma’s kicking him in the conscience. And from what I observed between the two of them, toxic and abrasive and miserable went hand in hand with the good times.

  • I find it satisfying to hear when people who are truly awful (for any bad behavior, including cheating) get a proportionate serving of karma. The key for me is “proportionate” because there’s a spectrum of bad behavior, so it seems to me that consequences should reflect that.

    Hearing the triumph stories of mighty Chumps who rise from the ashes to build lives that are demonstrably happier than than those of the cheaters who wronged them are the kind of stories I like best.

  • Karma for me (two ex’s)
    1. He ended up with three more kids to an abusive woman.
    2. The tax man audited him and he had to sell houses to pay tax.
    3. Schmoopie after 21 years is still very jealous of me and she brings me up and they fight about me all the time.
    4. He is asset less as 40 because he is bad with money, I am financially secure after being left with two kids under 1.

    Karma that happened to my new man’s ex, who was abusive and the kids don’t talk to her.
    1. She was charged with payroll fraud – he reported her. She’s refused to plea and has delayed the case as much as possible, three years post arrest and trial is December.
    2. She had to sell the house. She lived in the house for five years paying interest only or taking repayment holidays and he’s only just got the court order to sell it because even though they’ve been divorced four years, they’ve been in court five. It’s finally selling and her share of the settlement has to be used to pay legal aid for her criminal matters.
    3. She’s latched onto a vulnerable elderly man and moved in with him. She will marry him soon for his assets but I said to my partner that man’s life is in danger – she has no money and no kids or you there anymore, she doesn’t have a punching bag or second income and this man has some money. She will do anything to get her hands on his money.

    • If the elderly man has children I hope someone alerts them. This happened with my ex’s grandfather. He was in his 80s and so proud he was “dating” a woman who was 28; she was fleecing him.

      • Wow, Adelante. Somehow (!) giving your comment a thumbs-up vote just seems highly inappropriate. What happened with the grandfather, and was anybody able to intervene?

  • A couple that we know through friends. She constantly snaps and yells at him over the most trivial things. He was married when she met him. Then he went on to cheat on HER.
    She neither trusts him or loves him. But her health took a major turn for the worse and he can’t afford a 3rd divorce. She is very dependant on him physically now. He inherited a bundle of money but she is too ill for them to leave the house.

  • karma is currently in play with my X and his workplace AP, the woman with a child’s name and a bad dye job. he lost his executive job last month, and she is “leaving the organization for a new position.” apparently, her business reputation is in tatters.

    their affair has caused all of this to occur. i doubt that their affair will last too much longer but who knows? i mean, he’s angry and unemployed, and she’s been politely forced out, so the reality of life is knocking at the bedroom door. no more clandestine meetings in the office, or at the Sheraton. it’s all PRACTICAL and REALITY-BASED.

  • I will keep this short as I am still living the fuckupdness. But Fuckwit has a court order to move out of the family home because of his prostitute, porn & cheating. My 3 kids & I are staying in our home. He hates me for it!!! Go figure….

  • I’m completely no contact. But I can report that after his four years of being with the sex slave skank and living his best life, he’s introduced her to no one in his family. I’m still considered their daughter and they still love me and their granddaughter. When I met the FW, he was very proud to introduce me to everyone in his family and he beamed with pride when they accepted me in. The skank hasn’t been brought into his family at all. This makes me happy 😊

  • Mine is a different kind of karma, I’d like to think. We were separated. I had asked him if he would please help with getting me health insurance. After all, he use to be a health insurance agent. And a month went by and no help from him. So…. I started searching online. Everywhere I searched, you had to put your contact name, phone number and email before you could get a quote. So, I filled out one. And my cell phone would not stop ringing. It freaked me out so much, I turned my phone to silent. I must have gotten 50 phone calls, when the wheels started turning. Hmm. So, I filled out 10 more with my name and his cell number. I laughed so hard, it was great! At the end of the day, he texted me about the 70+ calls. And could I please make them stop. I never answered him. A week later he called asking me if I still needed help with insurance. I laughed and laughed and never answered him! It felt great! 😂😂😂

  • About 4 years ago (6 months after Dday), I was getting my ducks in a row and secretly getting a lawyer while we were still living together. FW had JUST bought a brand new car (we were still married so = OUR brand new car) that he could share with Schmoopie. He also kept his old car (bought to impress schmoopie number 1-ish early in our marriage) and was paying insurance on BOTH these cars and was the only driver (karma story B is about what an idiot he is with money). Anyway, we’re living together (separate bedrooms) with our 2 kids- FW is a drunk who unfortunately also drives drunk a lot. One night while we are all in bed and BOTH of FW’s cars are parked out on a public street in front of our house, a drunk driver comes along and SMASHES into BOTH of his cars – COMPLETELY DESTROYING BOTH OF THEM. FW and I went outside to survey the damage while firetrucks and police and several neighbors also came out to see what happened (at 1 AM). Both cars had to be towed away because they were so messed up. Now realize BOTH of these cars were bought unilaterally by FW to impress two different schmoopies and seeing them demolished in one fell swoop was a thing of beauty (I took video of the large tow truck hauling them away). While the neighbors lamented at our misfortune with me I STRAINED to hide my DEEP ELATION at the whole event. Honestly I could NOT get the smile off my face!! I had him served with divorce papers about a month after this. Karma story B is just the fact that FW is so incredibly bad with money that I’m certain that he and schmoopie will eventually be ruined, while I will continue to earn advanced degrees and further my career and live VERY frugally (as I have become accustomed to having no needs). I will eventually be able to easily meet my needs and have extra for fun trips with my kids and also pay my mortgage off early, while FW and whoever he’s with will allow money to fly out the door on gambling, alcohol, and random bills that he just pays because he forgot to cancel shit lol. Lifelong karma to payback for all the financial abuse he put me and the kids through.

  • Gold digger Schmoopie was 27, he was 60 when she revealed the cheating . As an employee, I knew her. She grew up in chaos, her mom was probably 40 something and fully supported the cheating. I visited the office we owned and told her why don’t you date someone your own age, work hard buy a house. Right, I really think she thought she’d get my 36 years married life.

    I guess her karma is she’s spending the best years of her life with a lying, cheater. She used to date someone that played international basketball (thanks for the HPV, luckily I cleared within 6 months of no more exposure). He’ll be 65 next month, she’ll be 32. They’re on pills, who knows what else, he was loosing teeth when I file and was in denial about addiction.

    They live in an apartment with an untrained dog the size of my bedroom and ensuite (690 sqft) He assigned 1/2 a mortgage he holds on commercial property to her. My hope is IRS does a clawback on it, he never paid taxes on IRA distributions, and shafted our 3 adult children (all older than that whore)

  • I have a front row seat to the shit show🙌🏽
    Lots of karma!!
    *His trash wouldn’t keep a job longer than 4 months; she was dodging wage garnishments from being evicted 8 x in their 1st yr together.
    *During their honeymoon phase, she & her 9yr old son were living in a tent in the state park…but he took in her dog, 4 cats and 2 Guinea pigs! Classy
    *FW finally moved her into a house he rented from his parents…they were pissed & when she got another dog, both were evicted…BY HIS PARENTS!
    * The trash keeps pressuring him to get married, he went so far as to get a marriage license, both posed with it in a pic…6 yrs later they’re not married…she is still publicly asking for destination wedding ideas!
    Meanwhile, our daughter and I are thriving & living the life we deserve❣️

    • both were evicted…BY HIS PARENTS!

      That alone is big… to be them.

  • Here’s my karma story. It’s been over 5 years since I discovered the OW and he denied it, tried to make me believe that I was crazy and left. He moved back in with his parents, and still lives there in his late 30s. He told me about a month ago that he can no longer give our daughter baths on the nights he has her because his dad complains that the utility bills are getting too high. At first I was pissed about how useless he is as a parent, then I realized that he lives with that crap everyday! He may still have the mistress, but he also has two nagging parents who drive him nuts everyday as he lived in his childhood bedroom sleeping in his twin size bed!

    Also makes me realize that any girl in her 30s who didn’t mind dating her man while he was still married and living to his wife, and is still okay now that he is living off his parents again, is clearly severely defective herself!

  • I’m not sure if this qualifies, but FW just showed up to collect my son and I caught a glance of what I thought was the schnoops in the front seat of his car. I thought finally he has decided to bring old fuggers out of hiding. On second glance I realised it wasnt her but his border collie who had jumped into the front seat and was looking out the window. Easy mistake to make.

  • I think he got his share of instant karma when he discovered the schmoopie didn’t want the kids around as much as he thought they would be, having „heated arguments“ with them, eventually daughter refusing to talk with him for months and the schmoopie bullying him around that he was paying too much in support (while I even had to fight for the full child support)..

    And his magical misery tour’s only got worse from there, while I rebuilt a pretty good life with the kids.

    I still prefer that I don’t have to deal with that „he’s living his best life true love“ rubbish.

  • My ex-FW lives in an overpriced high rise downtown apartment and looks like he’s living the best life ever. But none of his grown kids really want to visit him and will text him every so often because he’s their dad and they love him, but they can’t be around him for more than a few hours. Meanwhile, they all call ME daily and one lives with me and I get to spend my time knowing I raised some pretty awesome kids who love me.

    I know I’m not at meh because I actually feel bad for him. He has a sad life and he still can’t understand why I’d leave such an exceptional man…that’s karma.

  • I don’t see karma yet with them, not that I am waiting with bated breath. They seem to be doing well together – bought house before market really went up, had a kid (something I wanted to do with FW after he got his shit together. Now i’m the one with no kids), noth have high-paying jobs.
    I guess I can say she is stuck with his messed-up-ness: he has sexual fantasies about his mother, they will be stuck with his mother’s timeshare no one wants, they will prolly support his brother at some point (he’s the guy who got his first job in his 30s), and FW is cheating on her guaranteed (and prolly with multiple people). Maybe she’ll get an STI also.
    I wish they were as fucked up as so many cheaters are here but u haven’t seen it.

  • Alright. I’m going to break the bad-karma-coming-back-to-bite-them-in-the-ass/schadenfreude down as quickly as I can.

    FW XW’s AP/former boss/current partner’s karma shitshow: Asshole was chancellor of our state’s college system. Didn’t include the college communities affected in a discussion regarding his idea to merge two longtime separate colleges in the system into one university to save the system money. The idea wasn’t terrible, but his lack of including the communities affected in the process was typical of his arrogance and narcissism. He got his ass tossed out. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.😉

    The FW XW’s karma shitshow? After she left me/our family to move a half mile down the street w/the above asshole AP, to keep her local political seat in our village, she within three years lost any political power in our village/town because of possibly two things: one, people might have heard through the grapevine about how badly she treated me at the end of our marriage with her exit-affair, AND they didn’t like a motion she championed to merge our town and village by somewhat stuffing the idea down everybody’s throat. Again, like her shitty AP/partner, she didn’t grasp that people don’t like having community situations forced on them by assholes like them. Her arrogance was also made visible through all of this.

    So, he lost his high powered, high pay job like a bitch, and she was finally recognized by our community for being the bitch that she is, and lost her long-term dream of becoming the next power-hungry/attention-seeking politician to come out of our state.

    Boom. Karma mic drop. Peace, y’all.😁

  • Would you leave a guy who says youre full of demons and is a controlling critical ass? Also hes making me so depressed i fear i cant get a job to support myself

    • Debo: I am sorry for the pain and frustrations that you are going through right now. I am sending you prayers that you receive some little sign* (the kind that appears from out of nowhere) which tells you that you are OK, that you are not full of demons, but rather that you are full of truth and courage, that you are cherished by the Heart of the Universe (or God, or the Holy Spirit – whichever you find to be the most comforting) (or the least objectionable), and that yes, you will begin the successful journey of being able to support yourself.

      I have been where you are right now. Yes, it really sucks. I cannot tell you exactly when or how it will get better, but it will get better. You have already made the right move by working to be free of him. I do not know you, but I do believe in you. The fact that you are here, on this site, and speaking your truth, as scary as it is right now, says to me that you have what it takes to build a good life for yourself.

      *And may you receive not just “some little sign” but a cornucopia of little signs. Like a whole big pile of signs that you have to wade through.

      I am sending you blessings for health and harmony, and for peace and prosperity.

    • Debo, I’d leave him yesterday! He sounds mentally ill, and mental illness combined with being controlling and verbally abusive is dangerous as hell. Please be safe. Do you have anywhere to go, like a relative or a friend?
      Once you’re away from him you’ll feel better and be able to work.

  • Schmoopie now trusts my ex sucks! Schmoop provided the video, pictorial and text evidence to have my ex struck off as a doctor. She attended everyday of his trial – he did not, she gave evidence- he did not, she now believes he abused her – he abused the power imbalance of their doctor/ patient relationship.

    There are no winners but her bravery put a stop to his abuse. She did think she won when their relationship continued when we split. She won a giant, steaming abuse turd of a human being. I now hope she has won peace of mind, happiness and healing ❤️‍🩹

  • Let me be clear here. I am not at all interested in delivering the schadenfreude. I do, however, still pay the premium on my cheating ex’s $1 million life insurance policy. Meeting up with strangers to conduct BDSM scenes is risky behavior, am I right? For now, I’m willing to play the karma lottery knowing full well that ‘only the good die young.’

    • You’re right that is risky. I do the same, one policy ends this year, the other policy keeps increasing premium 10% a year. He’s on street pills, is nearly 65 with a heart condition and history of squamous skin cancer with a gf 32 years old. I’m guessing if it happens she’ll call one of his former friends. He has no relationship with adult children or his own family.

  • First, let me say this blog is an absolute lifesaver because without the articles and equally important comments I would be if far worse shape.

    My karma story focuses on me. I am 6 months out from D-day and in a state of gratitude to my STBXW and close friend who blew up my life. I now understand their action was the catalyst that freed me from 8 years of bondage to a covert narcissist and opened the door to a new definition of myself and the life I want to live. At almost 66, I realise I probably have 10 vigorous years ahead. I am learning to live them as completely as possible. In fact, every day is a little better than the prevous one. I am truly deeply blessed by their action. In fact, I wish them great happiness together.

    Life is far too short to make happiness contingent on the divorce being finalised, the property settlement being fair, or the other parties getting their comeuppance.

    • “Life is far too short to make happiness contingent on the divorce being finalised, the property settlement being fair, or the other parties getting their comeuppance”

      Thank you for this reminder. So very true. I can’t allow others to steal my joy.

  • I finally just decided that I would post a comment today about Karma. No-one else involved just abusive XFW husband. Many years ago when I came to the USA, I didn’t drive and wanted to learn. XFW did drive but really wanted to keep me dependent on him for rides. I didn’t realize at the time that this was a controlling measure, as it was presented as “concern”. I didn’t have the temperament for driving, my depth perception was wrong and I couldn’t accurately judge speed (gospel according to XFW)… But I insisted on learning how to drive and anytime XFW was in the car with me, he reacted in a cartoon “afraid” way, hands in front of eyes etc. I persevered and got my drivers licence and have been a good and careful driver these many years.

    A few years ago I did a random Ancestry search for his name (not sure why) and was stunned to find a death notice for him from some years back. His family and I were total NC, so no-one had ever told me. I let it go and carried on happily with my life. Recently while checking online newspapers for some other research, I found what I thought was the really small local newspaper (long defunct) for where I suspected he had been living after D-day. A quick search brought up his obit and a news story about him. Yes, XFW had gone at high speed round a highway bend and wrapped himself and car around a tree. Killed instantly, and I was truly thankful that there were no passengers or other vehicles involved. So the Karma bus backed up bigtime but I just feel really sad at the waste of a life I think…

  • Yes, I got to see schmoopie karma.

    FW was abusive, and when I filed for divorce, I put all that in the discovery (which I am sure he showed to her). She accused me of trying to smear his good name because I was bitter and jealous. She though *I* was the one dragging out the divorce. But it was FW who was making everything take forever. My attorney thought it was a delay tactic so he didn’t have to marry OW.

    Fast forward about a year, and FW and schmoopie move in together (she thinks it’s because he’s ready to take their relationship to the next level, since they’ve been doing their thing for 4 years; FW admitted to the magistrate in one of our custody hearings that it was because he couldn’t afford to live on his own). Well, schmoopie lasted exactly FOUR WEEKS in the same house with FW. I suppose he couldn’t keep up the nice guy act 24/7 (especially with 3 kids under 10 in the house, which he sometimes had to look after by himself), or perhaps he felt that since she’d cosigned the lease with him, she was trapped and he didn’t have to lovebomb her anymore. He started abusing her like he’d abused me (the overt kind of abuse – I’d seen the manipulation and emotional abuse going on from the start of their relationship, but of course, she didn’t recognize it). OW had been married to an abusive man (so she claims) before and she was having none of it. She packed up her two kids and left. They’d been VERY public with their relationship, so it must have been embarrassing to have it blow up so spectacularly. (Even before they moved in together, their life was hardly sunshine and roses – I found out after FW died that she’d had an abortion [don’t know why], that her mental health had declined, and that she’d tried to kill herself while her kids were in the house. Apparently he called an ambulance in time; she spent a few days in a mental ward for the suicide attempt and alcohol abuse.)

    FW had burned through all her savings, so she was broke. She went to stay with her family in another state (in the boondocks) and walked out on her well-paying job (where FW also worked so she could hardly stay) so she had to work as a barista in a coffee shop. She ended up sending me an “apology” of sorts (though taking no responsibility whatsoever), and also later offering to be a witness in my divorce. I ignored both emails (besides forwarding them to my attorney).

    FW killed himself a few months later, when he realized he couldn’t get her back and his life was falling to pieces. OW was vocal about her abuse (unlike me, who kept quiet), and his reputation was crumbling. Reputation was everything to him. FW and I were still legally married, and schmoopie was mad as hell that she got absolutely nothing of his assets (what little there was), no recognition, no share in his film projects or profits, and was SOL on ever getting her money back. (As my attorney said, “girlfriends have no rights”). I forbade her coming to the funeral (which I did arrange, mostly for the sake of my son and FW’s family, whom I like – though he wasn’t speaking to them). I’m sure she cried a river to their friends about how unfair I was.

    She strangely seemed to be trying to be my friend after FW died – calling me, texting me, emailing me. (Unfortunately I’d had to open a line of communication with her to get the landlord’s phone # so I could get him to open FW’s house for the police after FW had been missing for nearly a week). She was doing the same with FW’s sister, whom she’d never even met. Trying to stay relevant?? I had the pleasure of telling her exactly what I thought of her (though I doubt it made much of an impression) before I blocked her on everything.

    She had to start over with nothing.

    Meanwhile, without the drain of FW, I paid off all my debts, saved my money, and just bought a home for myself and my son. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

    • I’m so happy for you.

      As to the Shmoopie… they rarely prosper. And on the rare occasions they do, they can’t hold on to it. Yet they’ll act shocked all the same when the bills come due. Their disconnect from reality is truly bizarre.

      When she was on her deathbed, my 95-year old grandmother confessed she’d been the mistress to a married mobster for 8 years. I don’t know what shocked me more… her confession, or the fact she still had ZERO remorse and spared no thoughts whatsoever for that man’s wife and children.

  • This is karma of sorts? FW had a special “friendship” with a colleague of *mine* prior to me being aware that our marriage was in trouble; things deteriorated, we separated, and I found out 2 years later that he had been involved with her both of the times we were “working on reconciling” (the second time at his request). Lots of delightful behaviours ensued after the cat was out of the bag–him picking her up from work outside my workplace (in front of me, actually, on numerous occasions), the two of them having adventures and romantic getaways while he couldn’t remember to send child support for our two kids, all the usual stuff.

    The kicker? She was also married, is still married, and he is apparently still waiting for her to leave her husband. He lives by himself half of the time–our daughter lives with him part-time (and part-time with me); our son declined to live with him. I run into her now and then in our building–usually it’s as her actual husband is dropping her off/picking her up or bringing her coffee (he’s retired). It always makes me laugh. He trashed our marriage and, largely, his relationship with the kids, so that he could have the fantasy of the twue love, which apparently is sharing the woman of his dreams with her husband. And, because he spent so much time confiding in the kids about the oh-so-secret relationship he was having with her (they’ve to this day never met her and have expressed no interest in doing so), and she has protected *her* daughter from knowing anything about what is going on or the supposed someday divorce she will be seeking, he has apparently sad-sausaged to the kids that it’s not fair that he had to give up everything and she isn’t leaving.

    It’s entirely possible that she will leave the husband, she and FW will cohabitate, and their lives will be blissful and dream-come-true-y for all of eternity. But for now, he’s been her love lackey for six years and counting, so … good luck with that.

  • Oh I love this thread, thank you Tracy


    I am truly Meh and its a fortnight gone Tuesday

    Dickbrain douche and his ex stripper gf from Bratislava stalk my FB page

    After 10 years…….

    FW gave her one of my blouses and a heart shaped necklace (I collect them) and in one photo (someone you know FB thing) she is proudly wearing them.

    They rent and I have assets.

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