Vicky Flind is every chump. The betrayed wife of disgraced BBC radio presenter Huw Edwards — having suffered a very public and humiliating D-Day last week, as the Sun tabloid revealed Edwards’ paid hookups with young men — has put her cheating husband’s pain first.
She’s the brave face. The protective mother thinking of her five children. The faithful partner concerned only for Edward’s mental health. Folding her own trauma into tiny origami shapes and stuffing them into the recesses of her soul. Where they will stay forgotten and unmentioned.
Flind isn’t allowed to have a breakdown. No quiet hospital room or strong partner managing life on the home front for her. There’s no one standing up and saying Vicky Flind needs some privacy right now, except Vicky Flind. The woman had to out her own husband to the BBC “on his behalf.”
Because of course. Because chump invisibility is so baked into our societal narrative. Of course his pain matters more. The man who fucked his way into this mess. Vicky must be strong for them both. Do the difficult things because his path is harder.
If anyone thinks of Vicky Flind, it’s to second guess her marriage. What happens in a marriage is “complex” and no one’s business. Surely she knew her husband was bisexual? But the important thing is she’s not angry. She’s brave and supports this sad, depressed man who risked her health with rando sex. Every single person will attest to what a competent, good person Vicky Flind is.
What if Flind had had the mental breakdown and was hospitalized? Would anyone care? Would anyone shame Huw Edwards and shout “Look what you’ve done!” as they have with Rupert Murdoch and the Sun?
Here’s the problem with double lives — they can be weaponized. Which is why anyone with a security clearance is vetted for blackmail material. Is it disgusting the right-wing tabloids went after Huw Edwards? It’s predictable. The best protection against not being driven into disgrace is to not act disgracefully. It reminds me of this brilliant political ad by Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel “Who can you trust NOT to show you their penis in a professional setting?”
Yes. Radical idea. Don’t hire the guy with the double life and wandering dick. He’s taking up the place of a competent person who doesn’t have a wandering dick.
I refuse to be so cynical as to think they all have wandering dicks. Or that we shouldn’t care about a public person’s integrity. That we should excuse powerful men with pervy tendencies. That’s the slippery slope to Harvey Weinstein. Huw Edwards allegedly creeped on coworkers. That’s a firing offense. He had a double life and spent a lot of money and had risky sex with strangers. That’s a divorcable offense.
I could care less if Huw Edwards is having a bad day in a padded private room. I care that Vicky Flind is his chaos janitor. And people act like that’s a good thing.