Any Mighty Chump New Year’s Resolutions?

Happy New Year! Happy new beginnings!

The Universal Bullshit Translator is here sleeping off its Lebkuchen over indulgence. It’s making no promises to lay off the German cookies. The UBT accepts itself. The UBT is also a machine impervious to heart disease and weight gain.

But how about the rest of us? Any New Year’s resolutions out there? Unswerving commitment to not breaking no contact? Brave acts of self care? Ambitious new gym memberships?

I confess I’m not terribly good at New Years. We fall asleep here before 9 p.m. But I did commit recently to swimming three times a week. And so far so good. I’m a squidgy, middle-aged dork in a swim cap — but so is most of the clientele. No judgement! And a lot of them are much older than me, so, that’s inspiring. I hope to live a long time. Someone has to keep the UBT in cookies.

So, CN — Any resolutions? And if you’re new here — congrats on surviving the holidays. It gets easier.

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Deeply Chumpy
Deeply Chumpy
1 month ago

My resolution is to keep fixing my picker! Even writing this I realise I did not even “pick” the guy I went to lunch with today he picked me….😳

Cam
Cam
1 month ago
Reply to  Deeply Chumpy

What’s wrong with that?

NJ Survivor
NJ Survivor
1 month ago
Reply to  Deeply Chumpy

Having someone ask you out isn’t an issue. The picking on your part is continuing the relationship when you detect issues. Not everyone who asks you out is a bad person.

LookingForwardsToTuesday
LookingForwardsToTuesday
1 month ago

I have made a few:

  • To better look after my health by taking regular exercise and quitting smoking.
  • To reduce my exposure to people who do not “spark joy” in my life.
  • To be more sociable.
  • To maybe be possibly open to the idea of thinking about the suggestion of perhaps going on a date or two if I can find the right person.

You can probably tell from the last one that my “picker” is fully armed and turned up to 11.

LFTT

PS – sorry for the Spinal Tap reference … I couldn’t resist.

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
1 month ago

Happy New Year CN!

* finally take off the 30 pounds I found during the 2020 pandemic. It’s been 4 years — I have to face the music
* exercise consistently for my health — even if it’s just 10,000 steps a day
* for my health and happiness — reduce social media use and news intake (to just morning and evening checks)
* for my health and happiness — meditate more consistently
* Be kinder to myself

superchump
superchump
1 month ago

Happy New Year CN!

I was given the gift of anger and determination on NYE due to my STBX refusing to pick up our daughter as scheduled because he had other plans (along with copious amounts of gaslighting and accusations of me trying to make him “look bad”) So for 2024, I’m committing to grey rock and will be looking into FamilyWizard so there are no more “accidental miscommunications.” 2023 was my D-day and many other fuckwittages, and I think most of the year was spent untangling the skein, pick-me-dancing, and just trying to find land after being swept up in the storm. This end-of-the-year display of disrespect was exactly the punctuation I needed to end 2023 and begin 2024 ready to (grey) rock!

As for gaining a life, I plan to:

-Surround myself with things, people, and places that bring me joy and align with my values.
-Start investing and becoming more financially literate
-To lighten up and rediscover my creativity and talents
-Hopefully plan a little vacation for me and my daughter after settlement negotiations are over and I know my financial picture better.

Cheers to a FW-free 2024!

DrChump
DrChump
1 month ago
Reply to  superchump

I became a little more financially literate this year. It isn’t hard to do.
Scott Adams the creator of Dilbert has a one page list called Dilbert’s One Page Personal Finance List. It is a good guide for an outline.
Rob Berger has many great videos on how to invest. He explains great

Doingme1
Doingme1
1 month ago

Happy New Year! My goal this year is to put myself out there to meet new people who share the same interests. I’m hoping to meet someone active who likes to travel. And I need to stop eating ice cream. I’ve gained weight since I retired and must start working out again.

ChumpedMomof4
ChumpedMomof4
1 month ago

Hey CN! Happy NY.

My resolutions:
– get out of debt (or very close to) from the divorce (1 yr in March!)
– lose and keep off the baby weight I gained from my twins (was pregnant on dday)
– embrace and focus on self care in the very limited time I don’t have my children (it’s moving to 1 day a month now)
– and same as LFTT… possibly think about maybe considering at one point a potential opportunity to go on a date, if I meet the right person.

HNY! Here’s to our road to meh!

2xchump
2xchump
1 month ago

My XHcheater,showed up in my church with his new wife in tow. The one he found on a Christian web site in the nick of time to marry. This covered over all the OW and massage places he was actually doing. So I really need to go on line to do church. He roams the other churches of the same denomination so I’m never free from his ” church ” following me around. With his foreign wife, losing 2 jobs and me, he is not a stable man. It is sad. My resolution is to keep safe at all cost. All will be well since I’m at peace and the divorce is over since July 2023. But people don’t get better without work, and he only blames me. New year!!!! I’m still free 99% of the rest of the time. I am so grateful!!!!!

OHFFS
OHFFS
1 month ago
Reply to  2xchump

He stalks you by roaming the churches, hoping you’ll be there? What a sick freak. Stay safe, 2x. It sucks that you have to hide away and do church online with that asshole out there.

2xchump
2xchump
1 month ago
Reply to  OHFFS

Without the protection order that went away post divorce, he feels free to go anywhere he wishes. He hasn’t chased me but I haven’t been close enough to chase. I leave immediately or go to another ministry. I just can’t keep running and I don’t want more legal fees. I’m going on the information here on CN and CL Tracy and will ask the pastors to Grey rock him and I’ll be gone to online. Maybe he’ll loose all the kibbles he gets by church attention. All his friends are the security at church so that’s a joke. They all carry hidden guns and laugh. They all say my 2XHCheater is safe and has nothing on him. This is never true as he is a gun enthusiasts. If you recall, I broke the combo to his gun sage and itemized every bullet for the sum total of his assets. He is not happy as everything went back in but not as organized. Plus he didn’t think I had the combo. There will be retaliation and this is it. Hopefully that is all but he is bipolar. Guess his new wife is kind and gentle like me and feels like he was done wrong. She can have him.

Mehitable
Mehitable
1 month ago
Reply to  2xchump

Do his pastors know about him? If not, I’d at least share the history for the safety of all, esp you. I wouldn’t necessarily expect them to believe him because churches to me seem to go from extremes of naive behavior to outright depravity but maybe it would keep you safer. I’m not a religious person so this is easy for me to say, but maybe find another denomination (I’m assuming you’re Christian)? It would be a lot harder for him to follow you to a whole new denomination and to me….the Bible’s the Bible.

2xchump
2xchump
1 month ago
Reply to  Mehitable

My pastor has known what has been happening but burries his head in the sand until something or someone bites him in the butt. So he is very updated but then doesn’t remember the story line. You are so right! But I am one who says ” HE CAN’T CHASE me out of my own church family!! He can’t win! But this event is the last one and I am deciding to leave my church and worship online and go attend other outside the church building activities that I love. The problem is that my children and grandchildren go to this service and I will miss them so much. I finally believe it is better to miss them and the service than to get shot from behind or see my XHcheater so close to me in the same room with his new wife looking at me. My XHcheater was on the churches security team and all those security men ARE FRIENDS, friends that believe anyone, no matter how unstable, can carry arms. They cannot help me.
So yes I am deciding to leave after talking to my Therapist tomorrow. He knew my XHcheater and he knows that disturbed mind of ” you are not the boss of me.” Thank you for your astute reply.

Chump-Domain Cleric
Chump-Domain Cleric
1 month ago
Reply to  2xchump

What a terrible, terrible creep. I’m so sorry, 2xchump. The fact that he’s armed… that’s so frightening.

2xchump
2xchump
1 month ago

See the above note. It is very sad but self protection is something that is necessary for years to come

Cam
Cam
1 month ago
Reply to  2xchump

Congratulations on your divorce! Here’s to a new year of new beginnings.

2xchump
2xchump
1 month ago
Reply to  2xchump

My resolution is to go online to church, in case it got lost in the story. That’s my version of Grey rock. The protection order went away with the finalized divorce so I’m on my own with an armed angry dude. I divorced him and unmasked him to the church.

Mighty Warrior
Mighty Warrior
1 month ago

Happy 2024 from England (somewhere near London). I have one general and one specific resolution.

Specifically, to sell the former marital home. If the marriage had remained intact, the mortgage would have been paid off in 2024. I had to extend the mortgage 3 years ago by a third of the original amount, to buy out the FW. However, I still intend to be mortgage-free in 2024, and also free of maintaining and working to maintain a house that, lovely though it is, is much too big for me on my own. I will in effect be where I would have been financially if the marriage had not broken down whilst physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally being in a much better place without that FW and exgfOW clogging up my system.

Generally, I will be exploring how to make my life bigger. I don’t know what that will look like but I’m interested to see!

Good luck to CL and CN in finding the fitting resolution at the fitting time.

MotherChumperNinetyNine
MotherChumperNinetyNine
1 month ago

This is my 10th New Year’s Day since Dday. Kids are grown and I’m years into complete no contact. I’m still scarred but the wounds have healed. The pain was excruciating but finite. I’m a recent empty-nester after 36 years of continuous child rearing-6 kids. I want to work less. In building a new life I rose to the top of my profession and while I like my reasons for taking this latest position, I’m tired and want a real break. I regularly work 15 hour days and the stress of the work responsibilities is 24/7. I’ve developed a serious GI disease from stress (diverticulitis). In 7 years since the divorce was finalized, I’ve been driven to exhaustion by financial fears and trying to educate my kids and prepare for my retirement. My 25-year XH was a high wage earner and I felt I needed to regain what the loss of the marriage cost me. My goal is that by June 15 I’m going to take an extended care leave.

2xchump
2xchump
1 month ago

Good plan!! Anyone who raised 6 kids and maintain income and did it all through losses, well my hat is off to you! Well earned rest.

OHFFS
OHFFS
1 month ago

I hope you get that much needed rest, MC99.

Viktoria
Viktoria
1 month ago

I was a wee bit emotionally wobbly but– I survived the holidays!

2024 Resolutions: I’m planning a year off and taking a furlough, doing trauma therapy, doing deep self care, continuing to check things off my “things I’ve never done before” bucket list and saving up to attend the next CHUMPALOOOOOZA!

Cam
Cam
1 month ago

I’ve been thinking long and hard these last few weeks (months?) about what I really want. Articulating my desires has been surprisingly challenging, I think because I spent so much of my life either suppressing them or sacrificing my needs for others.

But I did come up with a few themes for the new year:

  • Healthier eating habits and losing 20 pounds.
  • Getting in shape. I specifically want to learn how to lift weights.
  • Hiring a financial advisor.
  • Being more sociable and doing fun things that keep me in the moment.

I’ve already signed up for a dieting app – one that focuses on psychology and positive reinforcement, not deprivation – and plan to check out a local lifting gym this month.

I spent this holiday break reading a lot of great fiction and have a list of financial advisors I’m reaching out to this month.

DrChump
DrChump
1 month ago

I would like to become an NPC (Non Playing Character) in life for a while. I am not checking out but it would be nice to just be in the background for a while. Just be my son’s dad, my patients doctor and maybe someone’s boyfriend.

JeffWashington
JeffWashington
1 month ago
Reply to  DrChump

May you remain a useful, quest-giving NPC and mighty in your own story!

Chump-Domain Cleric
Chump-Domain Cleric
1 month ago

I don’t do much in the way of New Year’s Resolutions, but I’ll share my goals!

1. Help my partner with his goals to lose weight and be healthier! It’ll probably be good for me to build up some muscle.

2. Play more video games. (I’m sure this one sounds weird, but when I stop playing them, it’s always been a sign of depression for me. I’m coming out of a nine month severe slump, and trying to focus on what I love, to speed up the recovery)

3. Focus on doing more crafts. Related to the above.

4. Try to cook more. Recovering from my ED makes cooking hard/being around food hard, but I know it’ll be better for me, as well as cheaper. Even if it’s still just prepackaged stuff.

5. Do more for my significant other. He says I already do so much for him, but he does so much more for me, I feel, especially with my up and down health.

Happy New Year, CN!

JeffWashington
JeffWashington
1 month ago

Further to your #2, It’s going to be a hell of a February for new releases. Just sayin’. Further to your #3, I am trying to do more of the same. It’s been helping me work through “things” while my hands and eyes are busy. Stay mighty!

Chump-Domain Cleric
Chump-Domain Cleric
1 month ago
Reply to  JeffWashington

Thank you! Doing things is so important for our well-being. I’d actually like to take some woodworking and sewing classes, when I have the time and funds.

As for new releases, I’m actually playing through older, nostalgic games right now. It’s been immensely comforting. My partner is looking forward to Dragon’s Dogma 2, though, so I’m excited for him! What are you looking forward to?

JeffWashington
JeffWashington
1 month ago

Persona 3 Reload and Final Fantasy VII Rebirth are the huge ones. Dragon’s Dogma has been on my want list for a while. Stay mighty!

Chumpasaurus45
Chumpasaurus45
1 month ago

Happy New Year Chump Nation!! 🥂🍾🎆🎉🎊
Wishing you all a very successful meh, whatever year that happens to show up for you.
We are all heading to a better, bigger, brighter place than we left behind. I hope we all get the opportunity to make it there.
This very month, I will be completing the process of buying my ex out of our beach retirement home. Then, I am looking forward to blocking emails to him, the last remaining hold on communication with the man.
I’m nervous about managing the house on my own, which I will not live in, but may look to spend more time there.
I think it will be extremely helpful to my healing to have him fully gone from my world.
It will be 6 years in April since the divorce and I don’t feel fully whole or healed and wonder if I ever really will experience that to the degree I would prefer.
Wherever I am, it still feels like a way healthier place than where I was, so I am deeply grateful for that.

Not a big fan of resolutions. Feel we have every single day of the 365 to reset, no need to wait for a calendar turn.

I love the Anne Frank quote:

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

Yeah, I like continual resets and adjustments to get me back on a path that feels right in the moment based on current circumstances. It’s never too late to get to a better place.

Every New Year’s Eve or Jan 1st, I read Dave Barry’s year end review for the first good laughs of the year. Gets me off to a proper start, laughing.
I know plenty of you are familiar with this Pulitzer Prize winning humor journalist. I really adore his snark.
He has been reviewing every year, broken down month by month for maybe the last 25 years or so. He takes real current events and makes them insanely hilarious with his interpretations. Check it out if you are not familiar, pretty funny stuff.

Happy 2024 to all, always putting good wishes out to chump nation that everyone can eventually find that better place to inhabit in their lives.
Some remarkable, amazing and very admirable ppl are associated with this site and the level of sharing to help others warms my heart every single time I read. There ARE good ppl in the world! Who knew?! How amazing to know and believe that to be true! All the best for the new year and a special shout out to our fearless warrior leader, Chump lady. Holding it down for years and years, what a blessing you are to the world!! ❤️

Dave Barry’s 2023 year in review,check it out!

Bluewren
Bluewren
1 month ago

After my oldest is safely married to his love in March, I’m getting the hell out of Dodge.

I’ll be kicking off with a horse trek through the Victorian high country and then loading up and heading to the vast and remote outback- where to exactly?
I don’t care.
I will not spend another year waiting for this abuser to further ruin my life- he’s presently refusing to answer my lawyers but that’s his problem.
I’m making plans and GTFO.

Falling Forward
Falling Forward
1 month ago

After a 2022 D-Day and Divorce, a 2023 spent settling the final financial details and realizing just how big of a FW my ex is (yes, it took me a good while to get there), 2024 has come so quickly. I would really like the divorce glow-up now. Spiritual, emotional, and physical. All three. I hope to spend 2024 getting increasingly wiser and stronger and happier.

Wishing all of you in Chump Nation a really fabulous year filled with peace and joy!

Last edited 1 month ago by Falling Forward
MamaMeh
MamaMeh
1 month ago

Even tho Tuesday came a while ago, I’ve had years of bearing a heavy load of responsibility raising my sons on my own (traumatised by Fwit’s lies and abandonment, youngest in and out of hospital for mental health).

In 2023 my boys all went ok, I got used to life without calamity or catastrophe, and so with the promise of freedom and “normality”, these are my simple resolutions:

Do things
Go places
Have fun

defend us in battle
defend us in battle
1 month ago

To disconnect from all harmful relationships, and protect myself from wicked people.
To threaten control and WOUND the narcissist while keeping the distance. NO CONTACT with those that used to be a part of my life.
Focus on recovery and health!

I wish y’all chumps a peaceful Happy New Year, full of boundaries and free of gaslighting.

Young Crone
Young Crone
1 month ago

I just realized today that it has been 4 years next month since I dumped the FW. I’m so grateful that Covid lockdowns came immediately after that because I did NOT need to be dating at that point.

A year and a half later I met a wonderful man online but again didn’t meet for three months due to lockdowns, which again was a good thing.

We were married this past October (2 1/2 months ago). Over the past couple of years I have become quite comfortable, and unfortunately gained some weight. So, one of my goals is to get back to exercising, eat better, and get healthier. But more than that is my continued decision to be grateful for the amazing blessings in my life. I never could have predicted such a beautiful Christian man coming into my life four years ago. It truly boggles my mind that I ever saw anything in the FW.

By the way, I’m 58. Things really can get so much better.

Cam
Cam
1 month ago
Reply to  Young Crone

Congratulations on your nuptials and better life. Thank God you left the fuckwit before lockdowns started!!

Young Crone
Young Crone
1 month ago
Reply to  Cam

Amen to that!

Mehitable
Mehitable
1 month ago
Reply to  Young Crone

That’s fantastic!!!! The best of luck to you both!

Young Crone
Young Crone
1 month ago
Reply to  Mehitable

Thank you!

Chumpty Dumpty
Chumpty Dumpty
1 month ago

Hello! Wake up, people! Trying to be a better person is Chumpy! New Years resolutions for 2024:

get better at lying
drink more,
take up smoking,
be mean to small children and pets
stop recycling

You’re welcome

Young Crone
Young Crone
1 month ago
Reply to  Chumpty Dumpty

The FW did all of these things except maybe the not recycling. Oh, and he didn’t smoke. At least not cigarettes.

JeffWashington
JeffWashington
1 month ago

‘Twas my first holiday season since D-Day. Christmas blew, New Years I was filled with righteous indignation. I survived. And if you are reading this, so did you!

So in no particular order for resolutions:
-Finish cleaning up the financial mess I was left with and complete MY (was OUR, no thank to my FW) goal for the year of buying a house(or get as close to possible to do so), leaving the place we called “home” together for so long.
-Lose some emotional weight-unfinished hobby and home projects
-Lose some regular weight-going to try and exercise 5-6 days a week
-Continue to cultivate myself by learning to love and trust again…somehow(I started to write “start dating again” but Gods know when I will be ready to inflict myself back on the female population.)

Have a Mighty Year, all!

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
1 month ago

I’m working on a lot of little things gradually, but the one I need a resolution for is: stop being afraid and take my professional registration exams!

I’ve been out of grad school for several years and it will take a lot of studying, not to mention a pile of administrative requirements. But it is time to get those letters after my name!

Cam
Cam
1 month ago

Rooting for you. You can totally do this.