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Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?

February 24, 2021 by Chump Lady

wayward

Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Anger, Deception, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Depression, double betrayal, Mindfuck channels, Pick Me Dance 138 Comments

The Resentment Rap

July 15, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, It seems if people aren’t on the Esther Perel train when it comes to their relationship ideologies, they talk about the Gottman’s. The Gottman Institute has put out all kinds of info and studies over the years, and my complaint isn’t with their ideology. However I do get frustrated when people cherry […]

Filed Under: Anger, Blameshifting, Reconciliation Tagged With: Resentment

The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender

July 7, 2020 by Chump Lady

gaslighting

There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for 9-hour Pilates classes, weird showering habits, furtive texting, requires cavity search to reveal cell phone… But here’s the real clue you’re dealing with a cheater, and it’s not lipstick on […]

Filed Under: Anger, Blameshifting Tagged With: blame the victim, DARVO, false equivalence, Whataboutism

Is All This Anger Normal?

March 24, 2020 by Chump Lady

bitter

Dear Chump Lady, My husband walked in on Christmas Eve to break the news that he had fallen out of love with me and was leaving me for another woman. I had spent the day wrapping gifts for his family and prepping food for Christmas dinner, while he was with the other woman planning their […]

Filed Under: Anger, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Anger

How Do I Get Over Feelings of Unfairness?

January 6, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady, So I chucked out my ex after D-Day 2 a couple of months ago (although D-Day 1 was technically affairs…. I also suspect there have been more). We have been together 22 years, married for 13, and have 3 young kids. I had to be the one to end our relationship despite […]

Filed Under: Anger, Spackle Tagged With: Grief, Unfair

Imagine Justice

March 8, 2019 by Chump Lady

Chump Lady is feeling a little stabby lately. This is what comes from following the news cycle. I won’t get into it. I try to keep things nonpartisan here, which when you’re a stabby person, isn’t the easiest thing. Trust me, there’s a lot of imagined lapel-grabbing and shrieking. And then a beta blocker and […]

Filed Under: Anger, Fun and games, Revenge Tagged With: Justice, Revenge

Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop being so mad at my ex?

March 7, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop being so angry at my cheating ex? I get flashes of it and it makes me tired. He’s off living his single life with affair partner and gets 50/50 shared custody of our child. (I’m happy with that, although I miss my child lots). He’s just become so […]

Filed Under: Anger, co-parenting with a fuckwit Tagged With: co-parenting, co-parenting with a fuckwit

Playing the Victim?

February 12, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]

Filed Under: Anger, Blameshifting, No contact, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Blameshifting, playing the victim

Dear Chump Lady, Where do I go with this anger?

December 20, 2018 by Chump Lady

bitter

Dear Chump Lady, After a year of being told lies about an affair I finally found the truth on the laptop. So he’s 50 and she’s a 24 year old work colleague who still lives at home. We have been together 11 years and have a little boy. He told me he is with this […]

Filed Under: Anger, Ask Chump Lady, Cake Eating, Revenge Tagged With: Anger, Co-habiting, Revenge

When You Need Cheater Twu Wuv to Fail

May 17, 2018 by Chump Lady

Voodoo doll

We’re all about Meh here at CN — that Promised Land of acceptance where the pain stops and you don’t really care what your cheater does any more, or with whom. That said, a lot of chumps wouldn’t mind an exit ramp to Schadenfreude. “D-Day was 6 months ago and I’m fine… I just want […]

Filed Under: Anger, Meh, Revenge, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Cheaters, Trust That They Suck

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