Dear Chump Lady, Hi. I’m hoping you’ll be able to provide some guidance because my therapist is at a loss. My husband cheated, we’ve been in therapy for two years. I feel like he’s a unicorn, he’s done everything right to fix things. I cannot let go of the anger. I hold grudges by nature […]
I’m REALLY Angry. Is This Normal?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband walked in on Christmas Eve to break the news that he had fallen out of love with me and was leaving me for another woman. I had spent the day wrapping gifts for his family and prepping food for Christmas dinner, while he was with the other woman planning their […]
He Doesn’t Hoover, He Rages
Hi Chump Lady, I’m 2.5 years out from D-Day (3-year affair with his assistant), divorce final a month ago, 20 year marriage, 2 great kids, one who is almost 19, the other is 15, which keeps us in limited contact. I did all the things we chumps do: pick me danced for a year, although […]
Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?
Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]
The Resentment Rap
Dear Chump Lady, It seems if people aren’t on the Esther Perel train when it comes to their relationship ideologies, they talk about the Gottman’s. The Gottman Institute has put out all kinds of info and studies over the years, and my complaint isn’t with their ideology. However I do get frustrated when people cherry […]
The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender
There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for 9-hour Pilates classes, weird showering habits, furtive texting, requires cavity search to reveal cell phone… But here’s the real clue you’re dealing with a cheater, and it’s not lipstick on […]
Is All This Anger Normal?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband walked in on Christmas Eve to break the news that he had fallen out of love with me and was leaving me for another woman. I had spent the day wrapping gifts for his family and prepping food for Christmas dinner, while he was with the other woman planning their […]
How Do I Get Over Feelings of Unfairness?
Hi Chump Lady, So I chucked out my ex after D-Day 2 a couple of months ago (although D-Day 1 was technically affairs…. I also suspect there have been more). We have been together 22 years, married for 13, and have 3 young kids. I had to be the one to end our relationship despite […]
Imagine Justice
Chump Lady is feeling a little stabby lately. This is what comes from following the news cycle. I won’t get into it. I try to keep things nonpartisan here, which when you’re a stabby person, isn’t the easiest thing. Trust me, there’s a lot of imagined lapel-grabbing and shrieking. And then a beta blocker and […]
Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop being so mad at my ex?
Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop being so angry at my cheating ex? I get flashes of it and it makes me tired. He’s off living his single life with affair partner and gets 50/50 shared custody of our child. (I’m happy with that, although I miss my child lots). He’s just become so […]
