Category: Blameshifting
UBT: ‘You Made Me Leave You’
Hi Chump Lady, Thank you for being there as a light post through this journey. My question is more of a request for some classic …
UBT: ‘You Were So Perfect, I Had to Cheat’
Usually cheaters run chumps down and blameshift their affairs. You Weren’t Meeting Their Needs. You suck. They love you, but just not in that clandestine-hooker-profile-rent-a-room kind of way. …
Ben Affleck Has a Sadz
Celebrity drunk and dropper of ice coffee, Ben Affleck, had some words to say yesterday on the Howard Stern show about his former marriage to …
UBT: Will the Sex Get Boring?
Oh the horror should Schmoopie luv grow cold. An alert chump sent this advice column from The Times (UK) by Suzi Godson to the Universal …
Best Sad Sausage Performances
A pernicious and predictable bit of mindfuckery after D-Day is the Sad Sausage. Did you find evidence on a cell phone? This is absolutely heartbreaking! …
Her Husband Wishes She Were More Porn-like
Dear Chump Lady, My husband of 20 years has been replaced by a terrible person. He has gaslighted me in the strictest sense — insisting …
‘Bagged Salad’ and Other Excuses
You drove ’em to it. That’s the blameshifting of the RIC and cheaters themselves. Your superpowers of suckitude could launch a thousand ships or create …
The ‘Dual Accountability’ Therapy Fallacy
Hi Chump Lady, I thought you would line to see the “official point of view” of the majority of therapists that treat infidelity: “Infidelity occurs …
UBT: ‘I Wish You Were Still Nice’
The Universal Bullshit Translator gets a lot of “It’s not what I did, it’s how you reacted” pitchforked into it. Blameshifting lays around in piles. Why …
Is This an Emotional Affair?
Dear Chump Lady, I had been with my husband for 17 years and married 11 of those years. I found him emotionally cheating three times …
Her Menopause Made Him Cheat?
I’ve read some blameshifting quackery in my day, but Guardian advice columnist Mariella Frostup takes the blood-soaked tampon. A woman writes in to say her partner …
Debunking Marriage Builders, Inc.
One piece of advice the Reconciliation Industrial Complex likes to give after D-Day is telling chumps it is their responsibility to make the marriage “a …
Ex Wants Chump to Go to Therapy with Her
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-wife (20-year marriage) went to my therapist. (Chump that I am, I recommended that the cheating ex-wife use my therapist to save …
‘I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time’
The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …
The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender
There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for …
But He’s Such a Nice Guy!
Dear Chump Lady, My husband of 25 years is a really good father/uncle/church member, who is friendly to everyone and is generally a very nice …
UBT: Affair Proofing Your Marriage
“Affair Proof Your Marriage” articles are so ubiquitous, I hesitate to feed them to the Universal Bullshit Translator. It just rolled its circuits at me. Really? …
Debunking ‘Affair Fog’
Dear Chump Lady, My husband had drunk sex with a woman who works for him when our little boy was 9 months old and we …
When the Other Woman Was a Frienemy
Dear Chump Lady, I struggle so much with my situation. My husband of 15 years had an affair with someone I considered a close friend. …
The ‘If You Aren’t Nicer’ Threat
People still submit one-liners of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say to me. Got this one yesterday: “If you aren’t nicer to me, I’m going to cheat …
