Category: Blameshifting
Blameshifting Jujitso
Today’s Fun Friday Challenge is flip the blameshifting script. Slam it on the mat and bounce it a few times for good measure. In yesterday’s …
Dear Chump Lady, My wife cheated with a woman
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I started dating when we were in college. It was an amazing romance, and a few years later we …
UBT: “You Were So Perfect, I Had to Cheat”
Usually cheaters run chumps down and blameshift their affairs. You Weren’t Meeting Their Needs. You suck. They love you, but just not in that clandestine-hooker-profile-rent-a-room kind of way. …
Dear Chump Lady, How did he turn into a douche?
Dear Chump Lady, First time chump and I would have bet my life on the fact I’d never be in this position. I had a …
Dear Chump Lady, He told me not to tell
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a 36-year-old military wife who found out my husband was cheating early last month (February). It began as an emotional affair …
Beware the Timid Forest Creatures
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …
“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked
Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …
Esther Perel Can Bite Me
I first wrote this take down of Esther Perel’s bullshit in 2014. She’s only gone on to greater fame and word salad, which is striking …
The Fog Comes Softly on Little Cheater Feet
I was going to write a column today, but I realized this morning I was out of milk. And that meant no oat squares for …
‘Is it my fault my ex ran off with our nanny?’
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband cheated and ran off with the nanny. According to my ‘friends’ and family, it’s all my fault and they knew …
The ‘Bitch Be Crazy’ Red Flag
Here’s a situation I’ve encountered many times among dating friends. Friend will swoon with excitement over new man in her life. Man is divorced. Being …
Playing the Victim?
Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship …
UBT: “Neither of us are perfect”
Dear Chump Lady, One for the UBT, please. This was brought on by a note I discovered this morning in which he asked a third …
Dear Chump Lady, Why do people assume cheating is the chump’s fault?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve recently been pondering something that irks me, and would really appreciate your opinion. In various conversations with some friends over the …
Dear Chump Lady, Did my being controlling make him gay?
Dear Chump Lady, I need some serious help. My story is unique in that my husband cheated on me with a man. 15 years ago, …
Let’s blame the children?
An alert chump sent this article in Today’s Parent: “What happens after the affair—when you have kids?” Apparently, children are hindering Otherwise Good People from …
UBT: ‘Our Marriage Was Already Over’
Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” …
Dear Chump Lady, Is pain a choice?
Dear Chump Lady As I try to heal in the most graceful way (suppressing my revenge fantasies) this is what I am struggling with… Like …
Dear Chump Lady, Am I normal?
Dear Chump Lady, So, D-Day was June 12. I saw a text message from a “Melissa” when she was asleep holding her phone. After reading …
Tell Me How You Suck
I have a confession. I make pasta wrong. Also coffee. Also stewed tomatoes. Moreover, I cannot properly close a drawer and because of this I …
