Category: Blameshifting

Unconditional Love

One common example of the Stupid Shit Cheaters Say is cheaters’ disappointment that they were not loved “unconditionally.” Apparently, they are capable of “unconditional love” …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, My wife is near perfect, but I see prostitutes

Hi Chump Lady, I happened upon your website and it seems to contain a lot of good advice for certain circumstances. But there are others, …

Read More

What Did Your Sad Sausage Want Sympathy For?

The sad sausage self-pity channel probably provokes more Stupid Shit Cheaters Say than the other two channels, rage and “charm.” It’s kind of absurd for …

Read More
promise bullshit

The Cheater Was Going to Stop… Really

Following up from Monday’s “Ignorance Is Bliss” post, I’d like to throw a bucket of cold water on another cheating fallacy — that it’s okay to …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Is PTSD a reason for cheating?

Dear Chump Lady, I’m sure you have a variety of chumps who were military spouses. I’m curious about whether or not any of them got …

Read More
Mr. Mindfuck

UBT: If You Accuse Me of Cheating, I Will Cheat

Hi Chump Lady, What the hell is going on with people who say, “If you accuse someone of cheating they will.” I recently heard a …

Read More

UBT: “You Were So Perfect, I Had to Cheat”

Usually cheaters run chumps down and blameshift their affairs. You Weren’t Meeting Their Needs. You suck. They love you, but just not in that clandestine-hooker-profile-rent-a-room kind of way. …

Read More

Everyone Cheats?

Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani spoke for everyone on the planet this week when he announced on “Meet the Press” that “everybody” cheats. The …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, I neglected him and this is all my fault

Dear Chump Lady, Some background: Married 12 1/2 years, 2 kids in elementary school. I have been a stay-at-home-mom for 10 years. My husband travels …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Why does everyone assume cheating is the chump’s fault?

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve recently been pondering something that irks me, and would really appreciate your opinion. In various conversations with some friends over the …

Read More

UBT: “I lied to you because you can’t accept the truth”

This bit of mindfuckery was recently submitted to the Universal Bullshit Translator — “I lied to you because you can’t accept the truth.” This chestnut …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, My insecurity made him cheat?

Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband had a old flame from high school that he had a emotional relationship with. Having the old flame hovering in …

Read More

50 Shades of Subtle Nuance

You want to get my knickers in a twist? Accuse this blog of “black and white” thinking. Ladies and gentlemen, some things are black and white, …

Read More

UBT: “Cheating is a symptom, not the disease”

This Carolyn Hax column, “Getting past a spouse’s cheating requires honesty on both sides” has been in my Universal Bullshit Translator file for a few …

Read More

50 Shades of Moral Ambiguity

I’d like a bitter bunny bitcoin for every popular infidelity click-bait article that says, “Infidelity — it’s not so black-and-white!” Black. And. White. Moral judgment. How gauche. How …

Read More

UBT: “I Didn’t Mean To”

Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …

Read More

A Public Service Announcement for Remorseless Cheaters

Dear Cheaters, Apparently there is still some confusion out there that your extracurricular shenanigans are wrong. In the interest of members of the unsuspecting public …

Read More

Family Therapy with Your Abuser — WTF?

If you ever thought the Reconciliation Industrial Complex has gone too far, get a load of this — “Domestic abuse victims to join abusers in …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, How can we challenge blameshifting therapists?

Dear Chump Lady, I find myself truly saddened, perplexed, outraged, confused? Am I going crazy? or is this really the philosophy around infidelity and how …

Read More

UBT: 7 Reasons Why Cheating Was Your Fault

I always enjoy my mindfuckery when it’s wrapped up with Shutterstock photos to look like innocuous relationship advice. Double bonus points if it’s a parenting …

Read More