Category: Cake Eating

Hopium

UBT: The Apology That Never Came

Hello Chump Lady! I’ve got a fine bit of BS here and I’d like to see what you think. Brief background: My ex-wife had an …

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The Crown, The Cake

Is anyone watching The Crown, the series about the English royal family? The latest season 4 is about the all about the dissolution of Prince …

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He Wants to ‘Explore His Feelings’ with Her Friend

Dear Chump Lady, My story as chump began last December when I received a letter from my husband informing me that he had developed feelings …

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raccoons

When They Won’t Leave

There is no hell like the hell of in-house separation. You’ve been a good spouse appliance. Why should those perks end? What’s for dinner? I …

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STBX Wants to Come Over for the Holidays

Dear Chump Lady, I am seven months post d-day, which occurred about two days after my husband moved out to live with OW. For the …

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cake

Dead Bedroom? Cheater

Dear Chump Lady, I recently found out that my wife of 2 years has been in an sexual/emotional affair with a old college crush for …

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“Our Marriage Was Already Over”

Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” …

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wayward

UBT: ‘Shortcut to Happiness’

Dear Chump Lady, I could really use the Universal Bullshit Translator to determine if this is a genuine apology. We have an 11 year relationship …

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mindfuck

He’s Sad and I Feel Responsible

Hi Chump Lady, I left my house and asked my husband for divorce after 4 years of marriage. I found out through the OW’s ex-husband …

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broken heart

He Told Me He Loved Me

Dear Chump Lady, My boyfriend of 5 years has been cheating on me for 6 months with another “woman”. She claimed she didn’t know about …

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cake man

He Left Me. Why Won’t He Agree to a Divorce?

Dear Chump Lady, How do you deal with a fuckwit who won’t do the things necessary to separate from you? On the very rare times …

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schmoopies

UBT: “Will Our Affair Survive the Lockdown?”

A few bazillion of you sent the Universal Bullshit Translator the Guardian’s “I’m involved with a married man. Will our affair survive the lockdown?” Penned …

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Can You Imagine Being Quarantined With Your Ex?

At Chump Nation we’re a wee tad sensitive about Conscious Uncoupling. You know, the divorce narrative where you remain best friends forever (For The Children!) …

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Cake Speak?

Whenever I’m trying to categorize posts, invariably I file most under “cake eating” — the act of having both a chump and an affair partner …

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butt face

When You Work With Your Ex

Dear Chump Lady I’m in the unfortunate position of having to continue to work in a business with my ex. I know this isn’t ideal, …

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cake

Grieving the Affair Partner and Other BS

Here’s a Reconciliation Industrial Complex trope that can die in ignominy — chumps being patient as their cheater “grieves” the affair partner. Ain’t that special? …

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cheater manifesto

Should I Write the OW?

Dear Chump Lady, My husband left “temporarily” two years ago after my teenagers confronted him about his chronic emotional and verbal abuse. After a weird …

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The Benevolent Other Woman

An alert chump sent me A Letter To The Woman Whose Man Cheated On Her With Me. The OW is “Aria.” The chump girlfriend is …

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‘How Do I Handle the OW?’

Dear Chump Lady, How do I handle this bitch?! My husband left me last year because he needed “space.” Come to find out he has …

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‘He Didn’t Suck’

Dear Chump Lady, Finding your webpage was the best thing happened to me lately as I was about to lose my sanity. I spent hours …

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