Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” “Just roommates!” And cheaters say it to their spouses when they’ve been discovered cheating. Our marriage was already over. Well, yes, it is now. But did chumpy you get that […]
UBT: ‘Shortcut to Happiness’
Dear Chump Lady, I could really use the Universal Bullshit Translator to determine if this is a genuine apology. We have an 11 year relationship with 2 kids riding on it. D-day was 4 months ago. The context: his affair lasted over a year and was with a 28-year-old coworker (I’m 39, he is 37) and […]
He’s Sad and I Feel Responsible
Hi Chump Lady, I left my house and asked my husband for divorce after 4 years of marriage. I found out through the OW’s ex-husband that my husband was cheating on me, and later on, I discovered photos on her instagram that were enough proof that he cheated. (Not photos on them, but things that […]
He Told Me He Loved Me
Dear Chump Lady, My boyfriend of 5 years has been cheating on me for 6 months with another “woman”. She claimed she didn’t know about me, and that he told her we had broken up, moved out of our home etc. I’ve been fed so many lies now, I don’t even know what’s true or […]
He Left Me. Why Won’t He Agree to a Divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, How do you deal with a fuckwit who won’t do the things necessary to separate from you? On the very rare times I’ve seen my ex (child drop offs), he says under this breath, “we need to separate NOW!”, like he means business. So, I think to myself, “Yep, couldn’t agree more.” […]
UBT: “Will Our Affair Survive the Lockdown?”
A few bazillion of you sent the Universal Bullshit Translator the Guardian’s “I’m involved with a married man. Will our affair survive the lockdown?” Penned by “Anonymous,” filed under “Relationships,” I’m not really sure what the point was. Is she looking for advice? (None is given. Comments are off.) Is she shouting her true love […]
Can You Imagine Being Quarantined With Your Ex?
At Chump Nation we’re a wee tad sensitive about Conscious Uncoupling. You know, the divorce narrative where you remain best friends forever (For The Children!) and share Thanksgivings together with all your partners, and go on Carnival cruises (when that was a thing), and form minor softball leagues and religious sister wives cults, and post […]
Cake Speak?
Whenever I’m trying to categorize posts, invariably I file most under “cake eating” — the act of having both a chump and an affair partner (or 6) and all the entitlement therein. Which made me realize we have an entire sub-category of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say — Cake Talk! “After we divorce, we could always […]
When You Work With Your Ex
Dear Chump Lady I’m in the unfortunate position of having to continue to work in a business with my ex. I know this isn’t ideal, but we work on opposing days and most communication is via email and purely business related. I’m hoping that we can sell the business and finally go our separate ways […]
Grieving the Affair Partner and Other BS
Here’s a Reconciliation Industrial Complex trope that can die in ignominy — chumps being patient as their cheater “grieves” the affair partner. Ain’t that special? What sort of quack gives license to the mope-fest that is the tragic loss of cake? “Oh, if you reconcile, you must show love and understanding to your partner right […]
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