ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

The Case of the Dangling Former Spouse

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Dear Chump Lady, I am nearly at meh, three years from D-Day and two from my divorce from a world class Cluster B, alcoholic, successful asshole who shared “sex addiction camp” with the stars… I got some news today that rekindled a WOW moment provided by your amazing insights in my early days of chumpdom. […]

Dear Chump Lady, He wants me back

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Hi Chump Lady, Thanks in large part to a daily diet of your advice, things have gotten pretty good for me recently. I’m almost at my 2 year No Contact anniversary, during which time I recovered my sanity, made new friends and reconnected with old, started doing well at my job, bought a house, and […]

Dear Chump Lady, Why must cheaters add insult to injury?

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Dear Chump Lady, I am about 5 months out from D-Day. My husband and I were married for 6 years and together for a total of 14 (high school sweethearts we have been dating since we were 15). At the beginning of the year we had a fight regarding our sex life (or lack there […]

“What do I tell my crying children?”

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Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump and finally plucked up the courage to ask for help. I don’t know what to say to my two children when they are crying because they feel that their family […]

Recidivism?

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I usually bridle at the reductionist criticism “once a cheater, always a cheater.” We’re not the final word on anyone’s character. While I don’t believe in sudden character transplants, I do think character can change over time — slowly, painfully, with a lot of introspection, and a shit-ton of consequences. As I’ve argued elsewhere, however, […]

Dear Chump Lady, My husband got engaged

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband got engaged. (This statement does not contain a typo, although even a search engine tried to get me to add “ex” to the topic prior to displaying the full results as apparently even the internet knows that this isn’t appropriate behavior). We are still married. Last night, he posted on […]

I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time

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The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for a long time.”) It’s trotted out when the chump is looking for an explanation as to why their family life just blew up. Well DUH. “I haven’t been happy for […]

UBT: I Will Return with a Fuller Love

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There’s nothing like a good serving of cake to make cheaters really appreciate their chumps. Shana submitted this gem to the Universal Bullshit Translator and says it was from an exchange of emails with her husband as he worked overseas. She asked him: “Are you seeing someone, having sex, etc.?” “I really appreciate the courage and […]