ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

‘How Do I Know Friends Won’t Betray Me?’

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Dear Chump Lady, I am a year and a half out from discovery and four months since divorce. I am strictly keeping no contact. I’m pretty happy for the most part. One thing that I’m struggling with is inner conflict when making friends. During discovery, I found out that my husband had been cheating on […]

Dear Chump Lady, I went grey rock, he went nuts

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Dear Chump Lady, My chronically cheating EX husband is unfortunately stuck in my life until one of us keels over because I had a baby with him during our marriage. Now, I love our child to death, but had I known my ex was posing as a photographer and taking lingerie pictures of 18-19 year […]

“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

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Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]

Situational Truth

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Stephen Colbert coined the awesome word “truthiness” — when referring to politicians who spin their own versions of reality. They seem so sure of themselves, who cares if it’s not the truth? It’s truthy! Similarly, the food writer Michael Pollan in his book “In Defense of Food” distinguishes between actual food (things “your great-grandmother would […]

Dear Chump Lady, Why is he copying me?

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Dear Chump Lady, My ex cheated on me relentlessly, with a mind-boggling amount of women. We had four D-days before I had the strength to get the hell out of there, so yes, I’m a super chump. It’s been a couple of years, but he still reaches out and seems clueless as to why I […]

Character Assassination? Expect It.

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A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]

Cheater Warning Signs?

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Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. But as we chumps sadly know, they don’t. And we have the therapy and legal bills to prove it. I’m often asked — did you see any signs? What would […]

Divorcing the Disordered — An Interview with Dr. George Simon

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In 2013 I interviewed friend of the blog, Dr. George Simon for HuffPo. I thought it’s long past time to rerun this column, as I can’t recommend Dr. Simon’s works enough (see the Resource page for his books or check out his site at www.manipulative-people.com ). Simon is a psychologist who has spent over 25 years […]

The Day of the Deadbeat

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By request, today’s “fun” Friday challenge is to share your deadbeat ex stories. #dayofthedeadbeat Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go with other sorts of shitty behavior like fiddling the books and stealing funds or failing to pay bills. Hey, kibbles don’t come free you know! And when you’re a super, special person who deserves more, what’s […]