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Dear Chump Lady, My Wife Is Near Perfect But I See Prostitutes

July 23, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady, I happened upon your website and it seems to contain a lot of good advice for certain circumstances. But there are others, I think, where the main advice of “just leave” doesn’t apply. See, I’m a cheater and never expected I would be. I married my near perfect wife, a wonderful human […]

Filed Under: Character disorder, Cheater Tactics, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Prostitution, Sex addiction

‘How Do I Know Friends Won’t Betray Me?’

November 7, 2019 by Chump Lady

Voodoo doll

Dear Chump Lady, I am a year and a half out from discovery and four months since divorce. I am strictly keeping no contact. I’m pretty happy for the most part. One thing that I’m struggling with is inner conflict when making friends. During discovery, I found out that my husband had been cheating on […]

Filed Under: Character disorder, Gain a life Tagged With: Betrayal, Character, Frenemy, Gain a Life

Dear Chump Lady, I went grey rock, he went nuts

September 23, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My chronically cheating EX husband is unfortunately stuck in my life until one of us keels over because I had a baby with him during our marriage. Now, I love our child to death, but had I known my ex was posing as a photographer and taking lingerie pictures of 18-19 year […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Character disorder, Trust that they suck Tagged With: character assassination, Grey Rock

“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

January 8, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Character disorder, Gaslighting, Narcissism, No contact, Sociopathy Tagged With: Abusers

Situational Truth

September 11, 2018 by Chump Lady

Stephen Colbert coined the awesome word “truthiness” — when referring to politicians who spin their own versions of reality. They seem so sure of themselves, who cares if it’s not the truth? It’s truthy! Similarly, the food writer Michael Pollan in his book “In Defense of Food” distinguishes between actual food (things “your great-grandmother would […]

Filed Under: Character disorder, Deception Tagged With: Liars

Dear Chump Lady, Why is he copying me?

May 15, 2018 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My ex cheated on me relentlessly, with a mind-boggling amount of women. We had four D-days before I had the strength to get the hell out of there, so yes, I’m a super chump. It’s been a couple of years, but he still reaches out and seems clueless as to why I […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Character disorder, Kinds of cheaters, No contact, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Cheaters, Copycat

Dear Chump Lady, Why won’t he get a life?!

January 8, 2018 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Cheater has been with the same OW since all this started — over three years ago, when I was pregnant with my now 2.5-year-old son. WHY does he insist on continuing to harass me? Why isn’t he content to ride off into the sunset with the woman of his choice, and just […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Character disorder, Narcissism, No contact

Character Assassination? Expect It.

August 8, 2017 by Chump Lady

A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]

Filed Under: Character disorder, Telling people, Trust that they suck

Cheater Warning Signs?

July 28, 2017 by Chump Lady

Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. But as we chumps sadly know, they don’t. And we have the therapy and legal bills to prove it. I’m often asked — did you see any signs? What would […]

Filed Under: Character disorder, Cheaters Decoded, What Not to Do

Divorcing the Disordered — An Interview with Dr. George Simon

December 19, 2016 by Chump Lady

In 2013 I interviewed friend of the blog, Dr. George Simon for HuffPo. I thought it’s long past time to rerun this column, as I can’t recommend Dr. Simon’s works enough (see the Resource page for his books or check out his site at www.manipulative-people.com ). Simon is a psychologist who has spent over 25 years […]

Filed Under: Character disorder, Divorce

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