Dear Chump Lady, I confronted my husband about his affair just before Christmas. He has been carrying on with a coworker who was also supposed to be my friend WHILE I WAS PREGNANT and continued the affair after I gave birth. I have kicked him out and am in the process of filing for divorce. […]
What Married Men Tell Other Women
Hi Chump Lady! I would love you to write about “What married men tell other women, to get them to join them in the affair.” Such as my wife doesn’t pay attention to me, we no longer have intimacy, we stay together for the kids, my wife is going through menopause , she no longer […]
“Our Marriage Was Already Over”
Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” “Just roommates!” And cheaters say it to their spouses when they’re discovered cheating. Our marriage was already over. Well, yes, yes it was when you fucked that other person. But […]
Problem? Adult solution vs. Cheater solution
Cheaters often react to adult problems in selfish ways. CN member Chris described the issue this way: PROBLEM: My wife and I argue often, mostly over financial matters. ADULT SOLUTION: From now on, we’re going to keep a closer eye on our finances, cutting costs where we can. We’re also going to work to improve […]
One Off Cheaters versus Serial Cheaters?
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering about serial versus (presumably) one-off cheaters. I know they both suck. But it’s hard if your cheater only cheated (again, presumably… because they lie through their teeth to get one up on you) once. Versus the “bad guys” who cheated all the time. Do you know what I mean? Like, […]
Dear Chump Lady, In our bed? WTF?
Dear Chump Lady, I would love to hear your take on this: When my former significant other was sneaking around behind my back having her affair, she would wait until I went out of town and then invite her affair partner, (from another country!), to book a flight and spend time with her in our house, […]
Cheaters Suffer from “Low Self-Esteem”?
If you spend any time on reconciliation boards, you’ll read a lot of creative excuses being thrown around about the deep shame and inadequacy that cheaters feel. Really, it’s there buried deep under their secret cell phones, dating profiles, and FOO issues. The whole time they were screwing around on you, somewhere deep in their […]
Cheater Warning Signs?
Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. But as we chumps sadly know, they don’t. And we have the therapy and legal bills to prove it. I’m often asked — did you see any signs? What would […]
Stupid Shit Schmoopies Say
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of discovering your partner’s secret correspondence to a fuckbuddy, you know how ridiculous kibble-speak can be. Devastating? Sure. But also hilarious in a gallows humor kind of way. What’s more absurd than the breathy adolescent sweet talk of two cheaters in limerence? Your fun Friday challenge is to share that stupid shit […]
Unconditional Love
One common example of the Stupid Shit Cheaters Say is cheaters’ disappointment that they were not loved “unconditionally.” Apparently, they are capable of “unconditional love” and we, being irrationally angry, small-minded meanies, are not. Unconditional love, from what I can tell, seems to be this perpetual state of Grace, where no matter what cheaters do, no […]
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