• Home
  • About
  • Archives
  • Contact

ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life!

  • Ask Chump Lady
  • Stupid Shit Cheaters Say
  • Cartoon Gallery
  • Resources
    • List of Terms

Why blame the chump?

August 15, 2018 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? Can’t they just admit that cheaters are sick fucks?  Ugh. I loved my ex-husband and he knew it.  I did the whole forgiveness thing and he acted remorseful and ultra […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, Chumps Decoded, Quacks, Reconciliation Tagged With: Cheaters, chumps, RIC

Nice vs. Kind

August 7, 2018 by Chump Lady

There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as “nice people,” but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it’s an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.) Now, I don’t want […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, Chumps Decoded Tagged With: Kindness

Cheater Exceptionalism

August 1, 2018 by Chump Lady

I am not defined by my relationship.

“Marn” submitted this delicious nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say: “I live outside the boxes that others live in. I’m not like other people. I am not limited that way. I am not defined by society’s rules.” Raise your hand if you had a Maverick Cheater, unlimited by the constraints of society. Esther Perel has […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, Narcissism

Recidivism?

June 15, 2018 by Chump Lady

I usually bridle at the reductionist criticism “once a cheater, always a cheater.” We’re not the final word on anyone’s character. While I don’t believe in sudden character transplants, I do think character can change over time — slowly, painfully, with a lot of introspection, and a shit-ton of consequences. As I’ve argued elsewhere, however, […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Cheaters Decoded

Cheaters Never Trade Up — The Lola Doctrine

May 22, 2018 by Chump Lady

Muffin top

While I’m jetting towards Australia, I’m running a guest column today by CN member “Lola Granola.” Enjoy! — Tracy Too often when we are on the receiving end of cheating, it’s at the end of a long process of devaluation and discard. Sometimes it’s not –- sometimes we are blindsided in what we thought was […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, Other Man, Other Women Tagged With: Affair Partners, Cheater

UBT: “I’m Not a Terrible Person”

January 24, 2018 by Chump Lady

Mindfuck blender

Dear Chump Lady, I confronted my husband about his affair just before Christmas. He has been carrying on with a coworker who was also supposed to be my friend WHILE I WAS PREGNANT and continued the affair after I gave birth. I have kicked him out and am in the process of filing for divorce. […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, universal bullshit translator

What Married Men Tell Other Women

October 31, 2017 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady! I would love you to write about “What married men tell other women, to get them to join them in the affair.” Such as my wife doesn’t pay attention to me, we no longer have intimacy, we stay together for the kids, my wife is going through menopause , she no longer […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded

“Our Marriage Was Already Over”

October 26, 2017 by Chump Lady

Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” “Just roommates!” And cheaters say it to their spouses when they’re discovered cheating. Our marriage was already over. Well, yes, yes it was when you fucked that other person. But […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, Divorce

Problem? Adult solution vs. Cheater solution

October 4, 2017 by Chump Lady

Cheaters often react to adult problems in selfish ways. CN member Chris described the issue this way: PROBLEM: My wife and I argue often, mostly over financial matters. ADULT SOLUTION: From now on, we’re going to keep a closer eye on our finances, cutting costs where we can. We’re also going to work to improve […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded

One Off Cheaters versus Serial Cheaters?

September 13, 2017 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering about serial versus (presumably) one-off cheaters. I know they both suck. But it’s hard if your cheater only cheated (again, presumably… because they lie through their teeth to get one up on you) once. Versus the “bad guys” who cheated all the time. Do you know what I mean? Like, […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Cheaters Decoded, Kinds of cheaters, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • …
  • 8
  • Next Page »

Support Chump Nation!

Become a Patron!

Check out CL’s book!

Leave A Cheater - Book

© 2012–2021 Chump Lady, All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy