Category: Cheaters Decoded

We Could Be Friends!

One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the …

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The “People Pleaser” Excuse

I used to see this “wayward” excuse all the time on infidelity RIC forums, and it came up again in that last UBT piece — the cheater isn’t a …

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Early Wingnut Warning Signs

Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. …

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Naming Abuse

So I was watching this TED talk recently, of Leslie Morgan Steiner talking about being a victim of domestic abuse. She was the classic “battered …

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What is the difference between cheaters and chumps?

Today’s guest post is by Tempest (who has a PhD in psychology) Yes, yes—the obvious; one betrays their marriage or family as the other is …

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Honor Among Cheaters

Cheaters have a weird moral code. They may have fucked the babysitter in the family van, on the sofa, and on the twirling teacups at Disney …

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Unconditional What?

One common example of the Stupid Shit Cheaters Say is cheaters’ disappointment that they were not loved “unconditionally.” Apparently, they are capable of “unconditional love” …

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Dear Chump Lady, What is it with cheaters and ennui?

Dear Chump Lady, What is with the cheaters gripped by ennui? My cheater started cheating about a year ago with a co-worker. I had noticed …

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It’s “Complicated”

One thing that baffles me about cheating is that people think it is “complicated.” There’s even a relationship designation for that on online dating sites …

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Nice vs. Kind

There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters …

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My Cheater, My House

Continuing from yesterday’s home improvement/Hilary discussion, there seems to be some consensus that cheaters are often pretty lousy at home care, as well as marital care. …

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Cheaters Are Timid Forest Creatures

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

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When Affair Partners Marry

The other day I was watching TV and this ad came on for glitzy, casino holidays in Oklahoma. God help the ad executives who were trying their darndest …

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Cheater Goggles

One thing that never ceases to amaze me, in all the letters I receive, and all the chump/cheater stories I read, is how cheaters so …

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Dear Chump Lady, Why do cheaters all work from the same script?

Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1. How did all …

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wayward

How Not to Be a Cheater?

Apparently people need pointers on How Not to Cheat. Today’s post comes at the urging of my husband, who thought this HuffPo column “3 Tips for Former …

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Meaningless Flings and the Myth of the Good Cheater

So as of yesterday Esther Perel now follows me on Twitter. Which is big of her considering I told her to bite me. On the …

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They’re Not “Wayward”

May I just take a moment to say that I hate the term “Wayward”? As in “wayward spouse,” (WS) or as it is known in …

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My Cheater Is an Eagle Scout

Any frauds out there? Cheaters lead double lives, we know this. But some wing nuts, I’ve noticed, take hypocrisy to new levels. The Jesus cheaters …

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A Better Class of Cheater?

So the other day, I got a big spike in traffic around here because someone (whoever you are, thank you) posted a link to my …

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