Category: Cheaters Decoded
Dear Chump Lady, Why do cheaters feel the need to punish?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair …
Why? Why? Why? Closure!
I got a really nice letter from a really nice reader “Chump Chap.” He wrote to me after he realized that he’d just gotten a …
Early Wing Nut Warning Signs
Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. …
Cheaters and Misogyny/Misandry
A reader wrote in to suggest some discussion topics and one of them was: Is there a relationship between being a cheater and misogyny / …
You Are Not the Boss of Me
If I had to name a single characteristic that defines every wing nut, it would be: “you’re not the boss of me.” That ability to …
Warning Signals
Chumps, did anyone warn you? And I don’t even mean about the cheating, but that too of course. Did anyone close to you, a friend, …
When Cheaters Forgive Themselves
One comment I keep seeing come up on Chump Lady, over and over again, is when the cheater says to the chump, “I’ve forgiven myself! …
Rethinking Infidelity
From an upcoming post on Huffington Post Divorce… Is Bob hitting you? Did he smack your head into a wall and now you’ve got some …
Dear Chump Lady, Is the sexless marriage a myth?
Dear Chump Lady, So, I was reading a single mom blog today and she was talking about how the single dads out there seem like …
If You’re Really Sorry, Cheaters? Let Me Help You
Writing this blog, I get dismissed frequently as being bitter and rather pessimistic in my outlook about cheaters. Hey, everyone makes mistakes, we’re only human, …
The Canard That Cheaters Have Low Self Esteem
If you spend any time on reconciliation boards, you’ll read a lot of creative excuses being thrown around about the deep shame and inadequacy that …
Dear Chump Lady, Why are cheaters so brazen?
Dear Chumplady, Why are cheaters so brazen? Lori Dear Lori Because we are such chumps. Really, can you imagine anyone cheating on Vladimir Putin? Couldn’t …
Cheating and High Fructose Corn Syrup
I was on a HuffPo panel about infidelity recently, and one of the commentators made an interesting observation to us fellow panel members before the …
Dear Chump Lady, Please decode this
Dear Chump Lady, Long story short, a man I was dating for just over 2 years – I actually dated him some 20 years ago …
They’re Not “Wayward”
May I just take a moment to say that I hate the term “Wayward”? As in “wayward spouse,” (WS) or as it is known in …
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier… Oh just forget it
Chump Lady was recently approached by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in …
An interview with Dr. George Simon on “Character Disturbance”
Chump Lady is very honored to interview Dr. George Simon, author of “In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People” and his new book …
Ego Kibbles
Cheating is a profoundly narcissistic act. (Of course, cheaters don’t see it that way. Usually they cast it as selflessly liberating someone from the oppressive …
The Humiliating Dance of ‘Pick Me’!
One of the most common mindfucks the cheated upon may experience after discovery of an affair, is the expectation that they will try harder to …
The Unified Theory of Cake
Cake eating is the preferred Nirvanic state of the unrepentant cheater. It’s the situation in which the cheater has the affair partner (AP) and the …
