Category: Cheaters Decoded

Dear Chump Lady, Why do cheaters feel the need to punish?

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair …

Read More

Why? Why? Why? Closure!

I got a really nice letter from a really nice reader “Chump Chap.” He wrote to me after he realized that he’d just gotten a …

Read More

Early Wing Nut Warning Signs

Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. …

Read More

Cheaters and Misogyny/Misandry

A reader wrote in to suggest some discussion topics and one of them was: Is there a relationship between being a cheater and misogyny / …

Read More

You Are Not the Boss of Me

If I had to name a single characteristic that defines every wing nut, it would be: “you’re not the boss of me.” That ability to …

Read More

Warning Signals

Chumps, did anyone warn you? And I don’t even mean about the cheating, but that too of course. Did anyone close to you, a friend, …

Read More

When Cheaters Forgive Themselves

One comment I keep seeing come up on Chump Lady, over and over again, is when the cheater says to the chump, “I’ve forgiven myself! …

Read More

Rethinking Infidelity

From an upcoming post on Huffington Post Divorce… Is Bob hitting you? Did he smack your head into a wall and now you’ve got some …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Is the sexless marriage a myth?

Dear Chump Lady, So, I was reading a single mom blog today and she was talking about how the single dads out there seem like …

Read More

If You’re Really Sorry, Cheaters? Let Me Help You

Writing this blog, I get dismissed frequently as being bitter and rather pessimistic in my outlook about cheaters. Hey, everyone makes mistakes, we’re only human, …

Read More

The Canard That Cheaters Have Low Self Esteem

If you spend any time on reconciliation boards, you’ll read a lot of creative excuses being thrown around about the deep shame and inadequacy that …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Why are cheaters so brazen?

Dear Chumplady, Why are cheaters so brazen? Lori Dear Lori Because we are such chumps. Really, can you imagine anyone cheating on Vladimir Putin? Couldn’t …

Read More

Cheating and High Fructose Corn Syrup

I was on a HuffPo panel about infidelity recently, and one of the commentators made an interesting observation to us fellow panel members before the …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Please decode this

Dear Chump Lady, Long story short, a man I was dating for just over 2 years – I actually dated him some 20 years ago …

Read More

They’re Not “Wayward”

May I just take a moment to say that I hate the term “Wayward”? As in “wayward spouse,” (WS) or as it is known in …

Read More

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier… Oh just forget it

Chump Lady was recently approached by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in …

Read More

An interview with Dr. George Simon on “Character Disturbance”

Chump Lady is very honored to interview Dr. George Simon, author of “In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People” and his new book …

Read More
Croquettes ego-boost

Ego Kibbles

Cheating is a profoundly narcissistic act. (Of course, cheaters don’t see it that way. Usually they cast it as selflessly liberating someone from the oppressive …

Read More
Ooh, pick me!

The Humiliating Dance of ‘Pick Me’!

One of the most common mindfucks the cheated upon may experience after discovery of an affair, is the expectation that they will try harder to …

Read More
cake

The Unified Theory of Cake

Cake eating is the preferred Nirvanic state of the unrepentant cheater. It’s the situation in which the cheater has the affair partner (AP) and the …

Read More
>