Dear Chump Lady, My cheating ex-wife avoids me. We don’t speak on the phone. And she does not go to events with our kids if I am going (she is afraid there will be a scene). I guess she assumes that I can blow up at her. But have you seen guilt-driven behavior with exes […]
Cool, Bummer, Wow
Dear Chump Lady, Please help! I do not know how to navigate this entire divorce mess with my two teenage daughters. My youngest sees her father every other weekend. This includes time spent with the OW. This weekend they took a day trip and she took many pictures on her phone from the day. She […]
Lawyer Thinks She Has an Anger Issue
Hello Chump Lady, My D-day was October 2019, I found you early and you have helped me keep sane. I have three children. At D-Day they were 8, 6 and 3. He had been having an affair for over a year with a ho-worker. I thought he was depressed and I was doing a samba […]
Ex-Wife Wants Old VHS Tapes for Christmas
Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for 4 years now after going through an ugly divorce complete with 2 years of doing the pick me dance. We were together for 25 years with the last few years legally married (same sex marriage). My ex was having an affair and ultimately ended up moving in […]
When Your Kids Believe the Lies
Dear Chump Lady, What can you say to your adult children to make them understand that the gaslighting, lying, cheating, stealing, abusive break up and divorce is not “People grow in different directions, so all relationships are temporary.”? Background, my EX, her father, started gaslighting, lying, cheating, stealing and being abusive and I, like most […]
‘I Can’t Talk to My Kids About Their Father’
Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]
UBT: Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother
Who’s ready for another personal testimonial to the wonders of cheating? It brightens! It whitens! It dices! It slices! And it’s good for stubborn stains. I bring you Medium’s Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother — “My affair made me happier and, by consequence, also my kids” by Elle Silver. I know, […]
UBT: ‘My Dad Sucks’
How children feel about their cheating parents is a topic the Universal Bullshit Translator has rightly shied away from. My standard advice to chumps here is let the kids figure out that relationship for themselves. Tell the truth (“Dad has a girlfriend, that’s why we’re divorcing”) and don’t editorialize (i.e., “Dad’s a slut”). Recognize that […]
Infidelity, Divorce, Kids — How Did You Navigate It?
Hi Chump Lady, I wish I would have found your site a decade ago.. alas spilled milk… I’m in a 19 year marriage to a selfish/self centered woman who I chumpily still love. 13 years ago she found an affair partner online that I found out about. We went to counseling and “reconciled”… Since then […]
UBT: A Letter from the “Baby”
Dear Chump Lady, I have one that I would LOVE to go through the Universal Bullshit Translator. As a chump I so want to believe he is truly sorry for what he has done, but his actions have not shown that, at least to me. While I still wait for Tuesday and that dreamed of place called Meh, this […]
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