I often think of CN as a place to deprogram chumps from the RIC. To “decolonize the mind” in the words of the great Kenyan writer Ngugi wa Thiong’o. To un-manipulate your brain. It takes a lot of peer support and perspective to do that. And, of course, your own personal mightiness. The experience of […]
You Might Be a Chump If…
Time for another rousing round of You Might Be a Chump If… ! In the vein of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck If “… tell me how you might be a chump. What are the signs? Ever wonder what quirks are particular to chumps? You might be a chump (YMBAC) if … instead […]
Red Flags You Overlooked?
Today’s Friday Challenge is brought to you by Spackle! It brightens! It whitens! Do you have some unsightly behavior you need covering? SPACKLE! *** Every healthy relationship possess a small degree of spackle. You overlook the bad morning breath, the way she leaves her shoes everywhere, how he drives 10 miles under the speed limit. […]
The LGBTQ+ Chump Perspective
Dear Chump Lady, Your blog and book have been real lifesavers for me, and they’ve helped me both frame my own experience and describe it to others. I certainly have seen several other LGBTQ+ people who routinely comment on your posts and participate in the related discussion forums elsewhere. I, for one, appreciate that your […]
‘Other Chumps Infuriate Me’
Dear Chump Lady, I was cheated on years ago. It was a horrible, messy, painful two years. I wish I’d had your book back then to save me the heartbreak. I’m mostly over it, except for one thing. Every time I hear a chump making the same excuses I used to make, I get absolutely […]
Stupid Shit I Thought About Infidelity Until It Happened to Me
In the past, we’ve catalogued Stupid Shit Other People Say about cheating. However, I feel it’s only fair to acknowledge that I was once capable of saying such stupid shit myself. Maybe you were too. One lasting gift of infidelity is that you’re never so smug again. What did I learn? Well, I thought I’d make a […]
Chump Lady Gets a Check
A little miracle happened Friday night — and I wanted to post and say thank you to Chump Nation. I came home from work, went through the stack of mail, and found a letter that looked rather ominously official. It was from the literary agency that represents my book — Leave a Cheater, Gain a […]
Dear Chump Lady, I’m angry with myself for not leaving sooner
Dear Chump Lady. I recently read your book, and it’s helped me a lot to not contact my ex-boyfriend (which had previously been very difficult), and to fully acknowledge his bullshit answers on evidence that never made sense. I first (yes, first…) discovered his cheating about three years ago. It came with the baggage of […]
Devastating Writing on Making Your Needs Small
Whoever this writer CJ Hauser is, she’s done an absolutely magnificent job of describing the chump condition. Go read her. Go buy her book. A reader sent me Hauser’s recent essay in the Paris Review — The Crane Wife. It begins as Hauser has just canceled her wedding and goes ahead days later with a […]
When Men Are Cheated On
If Google analytics are to be believed (and they know everything right?) about half of the people who read here are men. Where are they? Mostly lurking. (Assuming they aren’t your stalking ex. Google doesn’t have a break down for that. Yet.) With 26 million-plus page views and nearly 5 million unique visitors — that’s […]
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