ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Dear Chump Lady, Is divorcing him the right choice?

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Dear Chump Lady, I need so help. I have looked through archives and posts and I just need some clarity on my particular situation. I’m struggling to get through each day. Let me give you some backstory: “Bob” and I got pregnant by accident. He wasn’t supportive. I lost my job and moved in with […]

How Do I Gain a Life Before the Divorce Is Final?

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Hi Chump Lady, I’d love yours and the input of CN on the transition between Leaving the Cheater and Gaining the Life. I feel I’m in transit, like I boarded the plane to Meh on Monday, and I’m about to touch down into Tuesday with a few bags and a little bit of hope. It’s […]

If It Feels Good — Don’t Do It

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Psssst! I have a little secret to lay on you…. People are not interested in your messy divorce. Okay, maybe your parents and closest friend. Certainly it sucks for your children. But the rest of humanity? I’m sorry. They do not care for the particulars. I know how unjust this is, especially if you’ve been cheated […]

How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?

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Dear Chump Lady, Although he fits the readings, although the therapists tell you he is a narcissist, you don’t quite believe it. It isn’t quite human. How can someone be this weird? I decided when I worked out that our “reconciliation” was actually emotional abuse, when I discovered I had descended into a bitter, hopeless, […]

What Do You Tell Yourself?

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Dear Chump Lady, What do all the mighty people tell themselves when it’s too much? When you’re struggling for air? When not even your family understands? When you’re not allowed to complain? When you can’t show weakness? (After all, anything that can be used against you in court, WILL be.) When your kids fall for […]

Dear Chump Lady, She was ‘going to make it up to me’

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Hello Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your posts for the past three years understanding and yet ignoring all of your sage advice till just recently. Love is not only blind, it’s deaf, dumb, and stupid as well. I discovered 5 of my wife’s affairs in 2016. After a psychotic break and several suicide attempts back […]

Dear Chump Lady, Do I tell the kids about the cheating?

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Dear Chump Lady, I have been married for almost 17 years, together for 21 years. The first time I caught him cheating it was all online, but included phone sex, cam sex, and lost of graphic instant messaging back and forth — with a woman we both know! The next time I caught him it […]

Dear Chump Lady, Does it really get better?

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Dear Chump Lady, Does it really get better, or is that just another lie that people tell chumps to cut down on the suicide stats? My STBX was a Boy-Scout-leading, Sunday-school-teaching, neighbor-helping pillar of our community, right up until the day I walked in on him and his skank in my guest room. He lied and […]

Dear Chump Lady, He sees me as the Fixer

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Dear Chump Lady, The other night as the Super Bowl was just getting started, my 18-year-old daughter called me into her bedroom. Her dad, (my ex of nine months), had just called to tell her he was vacationing and got married in Vegas the day before! Within five minutes he texted me: “Hey there. I […]