They really pick their moments, don’t they? About this time of year, there’s an uptick in new members to the chump club no one wants to join. I’m talking about holiday D-Days. The double lives get strained. Schmoopies demand attention. Shit gets sloppy… Voila! Discovery. Inadvertent discovery is one misery. Deliberate abandon-you-at-the-worst-possible-moment is another. And […]
A False Confession?
Dear Chump Lady, The other night when I was questioning my husband for the umpteenth time since D-Day, he said his counselor advised him not to falsely confess to having sex with someone to make me “feel better.” He said he would not let me pressure him into a false confession. Is this even a […]
His Double Life Was Revealed After Death
Dear Chump Lady, My husband was 55 years old, no known health conditions, he was taking no medication. Last August he was hospitalized and operated on. He had several strokes on the operating table and we removed the ventilator 7 days later. We had been married not quite 6 years; this was a second marriage […]
Caught Him on the DoggyCam
Dear Chump Lady, First I just want to say I literally love you and your site has brought me so much comic relief into the shit storm my life is right now. I was with my soon-to-be-ex-husband for 12 years (together 11 and married 9 months). We had a great relationship, we went to high […]
My Ex Gave Me an STD
Dear Chump Lady, It is now 7 months since D-Day. In 7 years, ex-boyfriend cheated with four women and only now “shows” some remorse over “hurting me.” However, there seems to be no acknowledgement over the health consequences of his affairs. At some point, when I expressed being upset over the STD he gave me, […]
How Do You Confront a Cheater?
Dear Chump Lady, When you discover cheating, how do you break the news? I’m a strong person. I help domestic violence victims, I have an answer for everything. I don’t know left from right today. Today I’m rereading emails my other half sent to a woman he believed was a Craigslist honey wanting to get […]
He Says He ‘Never Went Looking for It’
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and […]
5 Things NOT to Do When You Discover Cheating
Very few people navigate chumpdom gracefully. Accept that you’re going to wobble and fail sometimes. It’s okay. The goal, upon finding out that you’ve been cheated on, is to take back your power, maintain your dignity, and not do anything homicidal. Some pointers on what NOT to do: 1. Do not confront your cheater until […]
How Come I’m Not Over It Yet?
Dear Chump Lady, I feel like I’ve been doing all the “right things” to move on and heal from my soon-to-be narcissistic cheating ex-husband. I’ve gone no contact, I moved out, I practice yoga, read self-help books, attend weekly therapy and surround myself with good friends. However, I don’t feel like I’m far enough along […]
Confrontation Flops?
On yesterday’s post, I advised “Jenn” to not, for the love of all that is holy, confront her husband about his Craigslist “adventures” ads. With chump hindsight (which is most of this site — regret served up as warning, with a side dollop of snark) you can see the utter futility of confrontation. May as […]
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