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How Come I’m Not Over It Yet?

January 19, 2021 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I feel like I’ve been doing all the “right things” to move on and heal from my soon-to-be narcissistic cheating ex-husband. I’ve gone no contact, I moved out, I practice yoga, read self-help books, attend weekly therapy and surround myself with good friends. However, I don’t feel like I’m far enough along […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, Other Women, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Frenemy, Trust That They Suck 140 Comments

Confrontation Flops?

September 11, 2020 by Chump Lady

Mindfuck blender

On yesterday’s post, I advised “Jenn” to not, for the love of all that is holy, confront her husband about his Craigslist “adventures” ads. With chump hindsight (which is most of this site — regret served up as warning, with a side dollop of snark) you can see the utter futility of confrontation. May as […]

Filed Under: Deception, Early days after discovery, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Confronting a Cheater

How Do You Leave a Cheater?

September 10, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, When you discover cheating, how do you break the news? I’m a strong person. I help domestic violence victims, I have an answer for everything. I don’t know left from right today. Today I’m rereading emails my other half sent to a woman he believed was a Craigslist honey wanting to get […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater Tagged With: How to leave a cheater

Most Ridiculous Excuse After Being Busted?

August 21, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I found several ads my husband posted on Craigslist, of all disgusting places, for group sex and friends with benefits. When I confronted him with evidence of his posts and others responses, he told me: “They weren’t real ads! I was doing a psychology research project to see what types of people […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Deception, Early days after discovery Tagged With: Liars, This Is Not What This Looks Like

When Does the Pain Stop?

July 21, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Tonight is a hard night for some reason. It has been 11 months since D-Day. And since then stories of other affairs and how long I have been a chump has been trickling in. I finally said I can’t take anymore information and stopped all the asking of how many and how […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, Hopium, No contact, Trust that they suck Tagged With: infidelity, No Contact, Tuesday

‘I Want to Blast Them on Facebook’

May 26, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I just found out after 5 or 6 years of absolute insane digging (mental breakdowns, trips to rehabs, gaslighting to the extreme, abuse that would cause anyone to want to kill themselves) that my dear darling husband’s side piece is no other than my fucking NEIGHBOR!!!!! I was on here about a […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater, Revenge, Telling people Tagged With: Facebook, How to leave a cheater, Other Woman, Outing cheaters

What Kept You Stuck with a Cheater?

April 24, 2020 by Chump Lady

Very few people react to betrayal with calm and clarity. We’re broadsided. Flattened. Confused. Most of us ran with the unicorn herd for awhile and tried to reconcile. Some are still working it out, either hanging in there to see if the remorse is real, or lining up the ducks in case it isn’t. I’ve […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, Reconciliation Tagged With: reconciliation

Is This Intense Hate Normal?

April 6, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Is it okay that I actually feel hate toward my cheater until I get to my Tuesday and meh? 20 years and a 15-year-old daughter; D-Day 1 in September 2019. I agreed to reconcile for our daughter’s sake. D-Day 2 this March 2020 as the world goes on lockdown, the cheater tells […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, Trust that they suck Tagged With: hate

‘He’s a Different Person Than I Used to Know’

March 2, 2020 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, The past several months have been some of the worst of my life. Three months after having a baby, I discovered that my husband had some sort of relationship with the 46-year-old neighbor across the street. We had just moved in and got married when I was pregnant, so he immediately started […]

Filed Under: Deception, Divorce, Early days after discovery, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Untangling the Skein

‘We Had a Good Life. Why Did He Cheat?’

November 26, 2019 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, I come to you as perplexed and heartbroken. When you think about how many people experience this kind of betrayal, it is really a sad thing. I had been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for almost six years. Despite his two children from his first marriage, (and another child he found out about […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Double life, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the Skein, Why happy people cheat

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