Category: Early days after discovery

Is This Intense Hate Normal?

Dear Chump Lady, Is it okay that I actually feel hate toward my cheater until I get to my Tuesday and meh? 20 years and …

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Serial cheater

‘He’s a Different Person Than I Used to Know’

Dear Chump Lady, The past several months have been some of the worst of my life. Three months after having a baby, I discovered that …

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Serial cheater

‘We Had a Good Life. Why Did He Cheat?’

Dear Chump Lady, I come to you as perplexed and heartbroken. When you think about how many people experience this kind of betrayal, it is …

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Ooh, pick me!

Dear Chump Lady, She left me for her boss

Hello Chump Lady I am really struggling to cope with the end of my marriage because my partner has been unfaithful. My wife and I …

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Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain go away?

Dear Chump Lady, My question for you and perhaps more so, Chump Nation, is when, how long does it take before the pain goes away? …

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stitched heart

How to Leave a Cheater — Your Care Team

Last week I got a letter from a physician, Kimberly, who told me part of her medical practice is dealing with the newly chumped. We …

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broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, He said it was ‘just sex’

Dear Chump Lady, Three weeks ago I got a DM on Instagram from the OW telling me, my boyfriend of 2 years (and father of …

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Surely You Must Have Known

Are your powers of premonition pretty lousy? Me too. I have no idea who is going to win the election or what the stock market …

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inert chump

Don’t Kill Yourself for a Fuckwit

I get a lot of sad letters at Chump Lady. Letters like: “I know I should leave him. But I am in pain, I really …

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Dear Chump Lady, He told me not to tell

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a 36-year-old military wife who found out my husband was cheating early last month (February). It began as an emotional affair …

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Dear Chump Lady, The OW is the ‘Girl Next Door’

Dear Chump Lady, My husband has been having sex with the same person since before we got married in 1995 and I never knew it. …

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Mindfuck blender

Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth

Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently …

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Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker

Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, …

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Dear Chump Lady, Where do I put his stuff?

Dear Chump Lady, I need some advice on what to do with cheater’s stuff. My partner of 16 years left me and our 9-year-old for …

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The Dead Cheater Dilemma

Dear Chump Lady: My story is similar but somewhat different from the many I have read on your site. My husband and I were high …

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Are Cheaters Timid Forest Creatures?

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

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not a unicorn

“I’ve changed!” — The Chump Response

I reckon I’ve read tens of thousands of infidelity stories to date. Maybe hundreds of thousands. (I should crunch the numbers.) And one common recitation …

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crush with happiness

I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time

The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …

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cheat on me

Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?

I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in …

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maintain your dignity

How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity

(No, not really. I’m just trying to mess with Google Analytics today.) Many people tell me they wish they’d found Chump Lady sooner, before their ex …

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