Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for 4 years now after going through an ugly divorce complete with 2 years of doing the pick me dance. We were together for 25 years with the last few years legally married (same sex marriage). My ex was having an affair and ultimately ended up moving in […]
He Cheated… Everyone Feels Sorry for Him
Dear Chump Lady, It has been 9 months since D-Day #2 and today would have been our 9th anniversary. A few days ago my STBXH made a public social media post about his mental health — admitting contemplating suicide, being in counseling and on meds — even (and this made me sick) making a vague […]
UBT: ‘My Life Is Rich and Full’…. That’s Why I’m Stalking You
Dear Chump Lady, I got divorced several years ago, then remarried this last summer. I’m meh. Everything’s been great. I’ve been no contact for 3+ years… but then the other day my ex started following my current wife on Instagram (which she uses for her business) and she promptly sent me a screenshot. I probably […]
‘I Lost My Meh’
Dear Chump Lady, I thought I was really close to meh, until I had a tough day with kids, and then ran into my XH and his howorker at a trailhead and ended up wishing my XH would “disappear or just go somewhere and never come back,” to his face. Worst part is that the […]
Coronavirus Hoovering?
Hi Chump Lady, Do you think that toxic relationships can be re-started — years later after both of you have had other partners and lived separate lives? So many of my exes are reaching out to me during this COVID time… I find it fascinating and traumatizing. What are your thoughts? Too Many Bad Options […]
Dear Chump Lady, He wants a character reference
Hi Chump Lady, I was married for 25+ years to a serial cheater, liar, sex addict, abuser, manipulator (yeah, he was all that and a bag of chips). I finally threw him out last summer and we were divorced last fall — best thing I ever did. We haven’t communicated much (a good thing), but […]
How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?
Dear Chump Lady, Although he fits the readings, although the therapists tell you he is a narcissist, you don’t quite believe it. It isn’t quite human. How can someone be this weird? I decided when I worked out that our “reconciliation” was actually emotional abuse, when I discovered I had descended into a bitter, hopeless, […]
The Plan B Offer
If things don’t work out with her, perhaps you and I could work things out. This was submitted to my “Universal Bullshit Translator” inbox. It’s so cake-y and so common. Yeah, right, I want to be Plan B! Thanks for being so bold and out there with it, Cheaterpants. How many in CN have gotten this […]
David Brooks Can Bite Me
I’m sure you’re all thrilled to crumbs to learn that New York Times columnist David Brooks — deli meat snob, scourge of single mothers, and misunderstood love moppet — has a new book out. “The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life.” From the guy who left his wife for his muse much younger research […]
Dear Chump Lady, Do I owe him an explanation?
Dear Chump Lady, I was married 6 years. No kids. Three years ago was D-Day. Got the usual “I love you but…” A month later he gets off our phone plan, gets an apartment, of course I think affair, but no, he says he’s just depressed. Needs weren’t met, etc. But he does want to […]
