I was going to write a column today, but I realized this morning I was out of milk. And that meant no oat squares for breakfast. Plus, I had squandered all of the blueberries on my husband yesterday (and milk) making him a milkshake. So I wasn’t in my right mind when I did the […]
“I’ve changed!” — The Chump Response
I reckon I’ve read tens of thousands of infidelity stories to date. Maybe hundreds of thousands. (I should crunch the numbers.) And one common recitation I read time and again after D-Day, is when cheaters, threatened with the loss of cake, don unicorn costumes and tell chumps that they’ve changed. “I’m a new man!” “Let’s make […]
Every Piece of Crappy Reconciliation Advice You Got
Raise your hands Amazon chumps! If you’re the sort of person who responds to crisis with research, how many reconciliation books did you buy? Is “When Good People Cheat” still gathering dust on your shelf? I have a job for you. Tell me what unicorn messages you got from the existing infidelity literature. Did you try any […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is Affair Fog real?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband had drunk sex with a woman who works for him when our little boy was 9 months old and we had been married for just a couple of years. He was remorseful (well he cried a bit and said sorry and, hey, at least he told me — yeah right, […]
Oh the Places You’ll Go!
Yesterday a discussion broke out over the Places Cheaters Go. My partner told me about all the “places” he visits as well. The dark place, the non-committal place, etc. … I guess he’s really into sightseeing? And… What are these “places” these cheaters go to, anyway? He’s in a good place. Huh? When my ex-husband […]
Dear Chump Lady, Do you believe in “Affair Fog”?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband had drunk sex with a woman who works for him when our little boy was 9 months old and we had been married for just a couple of years. He was remorseful (well he cried a bit and said sorry and, hey, at least he told me — yeah right, […]
Being the Marriage Police
If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” spent trying to hack into email accounts, cell phone SIM cards, velcro-ing voice activated recorders under carseats… Just how far did you go? (Anyone have a shoe phone?) Today’s column […]
Dear Chump Lady, How do I break through to her?
Dear Chump Lady, I’m at a loss about how to proceed with my marriage. Two years ago me, my wife and two kids were prepping to move overseas for a work commitment. Before we left, my wife connected with one of my foreign coworkers while he was visiting the United States. It seemed reasonable she […]
The Fog Comes Softly on Little Cheater Feet
I was going to write a column today, but I realized this morning I was out of milk. And that meant no oat squares for breakfast. Plus, I had squandered all of the blueberries on my husband yesterday (and milk) making him a milkshake. So I wasn’t in my right mind when I did the […]
Hurt People Hurt People and Other Bullshit
My cousin Mike as a child was a terrible bully. All the kids in town were terrified of him. I remember in the first grade telling someone that he was my cousin and they looked at me astounded — YOU are related to HIM? (I was a quiet, curly-haired uber dork. Bully bait. And he […]
