ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life!

When Your Kids Want You to ‘Get Over It’

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Dear Chump Lady, Things are going very well post divorce. Everyone has moved on and both the ex and I are remarried to great people. Kids are doing well and beginning their own adult lives. So what’s the problem…right? Well… my oldest son and my wife’s daughter are now engaged. They were both in college […]

He Apologized. Now What?

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Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for 10 months (separated for almost two years) From my husband of 22 years. He cheated on me for the final two years of that marriage until I found out and confronted him. He thought we would live together until the divorce came through. It took me two […]

Do I Have to Forgive Him?

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Dear Chump Lady, I am four years out from D-Day. I found out my husband was sleeping with a 25-year-old co-worker while we were trying to start a family. I’ll never forget having to explain to my doctor why I needed an STD test. Or how he blamed his cheating on all the attention I […]

UBT: “I Forgive You”

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Dear Chump Lady, Thank you for your insightful and supportive blog. I am a chump. Married 6 years and separated for 7 months, I have already filed for divorce. Mr. Sparkles cheated repeatedly and blames me for the separation and divorce, but the biggest mindfuck is HE forgives me. I hope this one makes it […]

UBT: “We Are Teachers, Not Demigods”

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Dear Chump Lady, I have a small but delicious morsel for the UBT to chew on. I also have a predicament, and I would greatly appreciate your and CN’s feedback. A few years ago my husband — we’re not divorced yet, but will be soon — had a very sexual affair with a coworker. Let’s […]

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t want to make nice with my OW SIL

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Dear Chump Lady, I am 10 years out from leaving my cheating ex-husband. I found out about his affair on July 4, 2009, and have referred to that day as my “Independence Day.” I had dated him through high school and college and we were married for 16 years when he decided his sales representative […]

Dear Chump Lady, How do I forgive myself?

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Dear Chump Lady, I stayed in a marriage with a serial cheater/sex addict. I know I should have been out of there thirty seconds after the first discovery but unfortunately I just emotionally shut down ten seconds after that first discovery. I stayed and ignored obvious incongruities and lies. I stayed and became immune (or […]

Forgiving the ‘Sex Addict’

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Whenever I think I’ve overstated the pernicious ubiquity of The Reconciliation Industrial Complex (RIC), something pops up on my news feed and gobsmacks me all over again. No. I’m not imagining it. There really is this fucked up societal message — and literal industry — insisting that chumps not just forgive, but reconcile with their […]

Dear Chump Lady, I want him to stay with the OW

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Dear Chump Lady, I’m new to reading your column (just found it).  I’ve been divorced 10-years after 14 years of being married. I found out from my then 2-year-old that her daddy was “naughty” because he kissed “girl.” We also had a 10-month old baby at the time.  I knew from the look on his […]