Hi Chump Lady, I’ve been a former Chump for 8 years; I’ve got the fair settlement, a great house I bought and restored pretty much myself, the better career than I’d ever thought possible, a closer relationship with my kids and No Contact unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for our adult daughter. My other grown up sons […]
Pain Shopping, Anyone?
A chump wrote to ask me what I thought about “pain shopping.” I had no idea what it was. So I asked her, “What’s pain shopping?” She wrote back, “Like when I ask my husband about his affair.” Oh. So I googled. Apparently, in unicorn circles, “pain shopping” is that chump habit of hyper-vigilance, you […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why does he want to stay ‘friends’?
This column goes out to JB from yesterday’s post. Who seemed to be suffering a bad case of Bargaining Stage of Let’s-Be-Friends grief. What’s in it for cheaters to remain friends? A lot. You? Not so much. *** Dear Chump Lady, My husband has said that he cannot bear the thought of never seeing me […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is this apology total baloney?
Dear Chump Lady, It’s hard to know where to start, but I divorced a serial cheater. Not only did he cheat with multiple women over the course of our 21-year marriage, he was mentally and physically abusive and he possessed this mind-boggling dodge and weave gift that he carries over from his political spin doctor […]
I Don’t Write for You
Dear Chump Lady, I love the UBT letters. But, what if a cheater realized their affair was the biggest mistake ever, and they were truly sorry, and that they wanted their spouse back? What would that look like, exactly? Words, actions, whatever. Use made up characters if you’d like. A physical affair, emotional, or in […]
Fairy Dust Forgiveness
One of my most popular posts here is on the difference between real remorse and genuine imitation Naugahyde remorse. I thought we should have a post on the difference between true forgiveness and fairy dust forgiveness. I like a good forgiveness story as much as the next person. I’m a preacher’s kid. I grew up believing it […]
UBT: The OW apologizes…. 2.5 years later
Dear Chump Lady, After reading Amazon Chump’s UBT, I was “triggered” to recall a similarly bizarre and unsolicited email I received from Mr. Sparkles Other Woman #928 after she broke up with him when she found out he was still trolling Adult Friend Finder for sex with women, couples, groups in spite of their “twu […]
Apology Fails
If you’ve been chumped, either a) you received no apology, or b) you got a really lame apology. The best lame apology you got was sincere and devoid of blameshifting, but it was lame because 99.9 times out of 100 it didn’t come with an iota of recompense. The worst lame apology you got was […]
Fairy Dust Forgiveness
One of my most popular posts here is on the difference between real remorse and genuine imitation Naugahyde remorse. I thought we should have a post on the difference between true forgiveness and fairy dust forgiveness. I like a good forgiveness story as much as the next person. I’m a preacher’s kid. I grew up believing it […]
Chump Shaming as Competitive Sport
I once wrote an article over at Huffington Post on getting revenge on cheaters. (Spoiler alert: You don’t disembowel them, you move on to meh.) But apparently it wasn’t the happy rainbow sparkles narrative of Remaining Friends and Wishing Each Other the Best that some readers were hoping for. (Okay, I copped to imagining gutting […]
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