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Dear Chump Lady, My ex has cancer

February 4, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My ex has cancer

Hi Chump Lady, I’ve been a former Chump for 8 years; I’ve got the fair settlement, a great house I bought and restored pretty much myself, the better career than I’d ever thought possible, a closer relationship with my kids and No Contact unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for our adult daughter. My other grown up sons […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Divorce, Forgiveness, Meh Tagged With: No Contact 173 Comments

Pain Shopping, Anyone?

January 17, 2019 by Chump Lady

Pain Shopping, Anyone?

A chump wrote to ask me what I thought about “pain shopping.” I had no idea what it was. So I asked her, “What’s pain shopping?” She wrote back, “Like when I ask my husband about his affair.” Oh. So I googled. Apparently, in unicorn circles, “pain shopping” is that chump habit of hyper-vigilance, you […]

Filed Under: Bad infidelity advice, Forgiveness, Reconciliation Tagged With: Pain shopping, reconciliation 124 Comments

Dear Chump Lady, Why does he want to stay ‘friends’?

November 20, 2018 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Why does he want to stay ‘friends’?

This column goes out to JB from yesterday’s post. Who seemed to be suffering a bad case of Bargaining Stage of Let’s-Be-Friends grief. What’s in it for cheaters to remain friends? A lot. You? Not so much. *** Dear Chump Lady, My husband has said that he cannot bear the thought of never seeing me […]

Filed Under: Chumps Decoded, Forgiveness, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Trust That They Suck 160 Comments

Dear Chump Lady, Is this apology total baloney?

October 30, 2018 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Is this apology total baloney?

Dear Chump Lady, It’s hard to know where to start, but I divorced a serial cheater. Not only did he cheat with multiple women over the course of our 21-year marriage, he was mentally and physically abusive and he possessed this mind-boggling dodge and weave gift that he carries over from his political spin doctor […]

Filed Under: Forgiveness, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse Tagged With: Apologies, Forgiveness, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse 159 Comments

I Don’t Write for You

October 23, 2018 by Chump Lady

I Don’t Write for You

Dear Chump Lady, I love the UBT letters. But, what if a cheater realized their affair was the biggest mistake ever, and they were truly sorry, and that they wanted their spouse back? What would that look like, exactly? Words, actions, whatever. Use made up characters if you’d like. A physical affair, emotional, or in […]

Filed Under: Chump Lady, Forgiveness, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse Tagged With: Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse 229 Comments

Fairy Dust Forgiveness

July 5, 2018 by Chump Lady

Fairy Dust Forgiveness

One of my most popular posts here is on the difference between real remorse and genuine imitation Naugahyde remorse. I thought we should have a post on the difference between true forgiveness and fairy dust forgiveness. I like a good forgiveness story as much as the next person. I’m a preacher’s kid. I grew up believing it […]

Filed Under: Forgiveness Tagged With: Forgiveness 188 Comments

UBT: The OW apologizes…. 2.5 years later

June 18, 2018 by Chump Lady

UBT: The OW apologizes…. 2.5 years later

Dear Chump Lady, After reading Amazon Chump’s UBT, I was “triggered” to recall a similarly bizarre and unsolicited email I received from Mr. Sparkles Other Woman #928 after she broke up with him when she found out he was still trolling Adult Friend Finder for sex with women, couples, groups in spite of their “twu […]

Filed Under: Forgiveness, Other Women, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Sorry Not Sorry 177 Comments

Apology Fails

June 8, 2018 by Chump Lady

Apology Fails

If you’ve been chumped, either a) you received no apology, or b) you got a really lame apology. The best lame apology you got was sincere and devoid of blameshifting, but it was lame because 99.9 times out of 100 it didn’t come with an iota of recompense. The worst lame apology you got was […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Forgiveness Tagged With: Sorry Not Sorry 471 Comments

Fairy Dust Forgiveness

November 2, 2017 by Chump Lady

Fairy Dust Forgiveness

One of my most popular posts here is on the difference between real remorse and genuine imitation Naugahyde remorse. I thought we should have a post on the difference between true forgiveness and fairy dust forgiveness. I like a good forgiveness story as much as the next person. I’m a preacher’s kid. I grew up believing it […]

Filed Under: Forgiveness 274 Comments

Chump Shaming as Competitive Sport

August 3, 2017 by Chump Lady

Chump Shaming as Competitive Sport

I once wrote an article over at Huffington Post on getting revenge on cheaters. (Spoiler alert: You don’t disembowel them, you move on to meh.) But apparently it wasn’t the happy rainbow sparkles narrative of Remaining Friends and Wishing Each Other the Best that some readers were hoping for. (Okay, I copped to imagining gutting […]

Filed Under: Forgiveness, Telling people 313 Comments

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