If you could summon all your guts and courage into one being, what form would it take? Today’s Friday Challenge is to tell CN who your Patronus is. For those of you non-Harry Potter geeks, a patronus is this sort of guardian animal that appears when you’re in danger. You have to think hard of […]
Infidelity Valentines
It’s February 1 and you know what that means? Insipid displays of cut-rate chocolate and polyester teddy bears? No! It’s time for the Infidelity Valentine’s Day contest! Send me a haiku or a limerick that encapsulates your cheater experience. The winners get inscribed copies of my book (I’ll ship anywhere). I will announce the winner on Valentine’s Day. To recap from 8th […]
Jingle Meh?
Dear Chump Lady, While I’m working on getting out of my situation, I sometimes distract myself with a little mental daydreaming and write new lyrics to classic songs. They’re not always great works, but it’s a method of stress relief that’s kind fun. Because it’s Christmas, here’s a festive little diddy for your mild amusement. […]
Schadenfreude Snark
Yesterday’s breakout moment, about the perils of breaking no contact, was Tbone’s assertion that if she hadn’t looked at her ex’s social media, she never would’ve known “that my ex proposed to his new wife over takeout from Chik-fil-A. Hahahahaha.” Not to be outdone, Sunny replied with an epic hashtag riff: #HowCanYouSayNoToJeebusChicken #WaffleFriesFTW #KeepingItClassy #LadyKillerWithNinjaTakeoutMoves […]
Twu Wuv Vows?
Dear Chump Lady, Six years ago I went full out marriage CSI detective and uncovered a long term, on and off affair my then-wife had been having. It was a sprawling, traumatic mess for my children and me. Many narcissist-fueled crimes against truth and empathy were committed that are all too familiar to this blog’s […]
Worst Gift Ever?
Well, I threatened to do this Fun Friday challenge after my birthday thread (a pen… a tie-dyed motif license plate cover…) on Worst Gifts Ever. It takes some consideration of your partner to come up with a good gift. Narcissists tend not to tune in to the needs of others. So gifts are either impression […]
Ever Run into Your Ex?
OptionNoMore suggested a column the other day — share the time you stood tall after having to face your ex or Schmoopie 5.0 at an event. Then, Mr. CL offered this twisted suggestion — or share the time you failed miserably at this. Was there glorious meh? Fifty-yard death stares? Vomiting on someone’s party shoes? I […]
The Selfies, OMG the Selfies
I believe it was UXWorld who said the other day, “The SELFIES. OMG, the selfies!” Which started quite the riff on embarrassing cheater affectations pre- and post D-Day. Were there goatees? New tattoos? Juvenile hobbies? Motorcycles? Dic pics? Duck face selfies? Text speak, K? A cloud of noxious cologne? New boobs? It’s not very meh, […]
Tell Me How You Suck
I have a confession. I make pasta wrong. Also coffee. Also stewed tomatoes. Moreover, I cannot properly close a drawer and because of this I am crazy and should be medicated. These are just a few of the myriad ways in which I suck, according to fat, bald, thrice-divorced (although the body count could be […]
So what else didn’t you know about?
When the Reconciliation Industrial Complex describes infidelity, it invariably minimizes the experience as a “mistake” or worse — a magical path of cheater self-discovery (a la Esther Perel’s “exuberant acts of defiance.”) In any case, monogamy isn’t natural and you’d best stop your sniveling and ask yourself what you did to be so unlovable. While […]
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