Bullshit artists have a real way with words. One of my favorite Stupid Shit Cheaters Say submissions ever was: “I didn’t cheat on you, I cheated on your belief that I would not cheat on you.” It’s like META bullshit. You’re just not deep enough to understand it, chump. Today’s Fun Friday Challenge is to […]
Word Salad or Word Wisdom?
After parsing a lot of word salad through the Universal Bullshit Translator yesterday, I thought today’s Fun Friday challenge would be to share the succinct, commonsense advice someone gave you. Maybe it was encouragement (“You’re mighty!”), or an observation (“What an asshole.”), or a new way of looking at things (“Some money is too expensive.”) […]
The Weirdest Things They Took or Left Behind
The other day we marveled at the cheater who walked out on his chump, but not before helping himself to all of her homemade soup. BowTie immediately recognized this situation for its Friday Challenge potential — to list the weirdest things that they took or left behind. I have a friend who’s freaky ex kept insisting […]
Write Your Own Clickbait
You know what stands between you and a Cinematic Love Story For The Ages? A boyfriend, Tracy? A bad profile? Good sense? No. Schlock. The ability to describe your Schmoopie Love in florid cliches. Your chump reserve stands in the way of greatness. But I have an abhorrence to mawkishness, Tracy. I’m sorry. Then you’ll […]
Snark and Dance Tunes
Lately, the very clever UXWorld has been breaking into show tunes with every posting. Taking whatever the talking point of the day is and composing a cheater ballad to go along with it. A Friday Challenge was born. Have you ever wanted to put “I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You” to […]
Imagine Justice
Chump Lady is feeling a little stabby lately. This is what comes from following the news cycle. I won’t get into it. I try to keep things nonpartisan here, which when you’re a stabby person, isn’t the easiest thing. Trust me, there’s a lot of imagined lapel-grabbing and shrieking. And then a beta blocker and […]
What’s Your Patronus?
If you could summon all your guts and courage into one being, what form would it take? Today’s Friday Challenge is to tell CN who your Patronus is. For those of you non-Harry Potter geeks, a patronus is this sort of guardian animal that appears when you’re in danger. You have to think hard of […]
Infidelity Valentines
It’s February 1 and you know what that means? Insipid displays of cut-rate chocolate and polyester teddy bears? No! It’s time for the Infidelity Valentine’s Day contest! Send me a haiku or a limerick that encapsulates your cheater experience. The winners get inscribed copies of my book (I’ll ship anywhere). I will announce the winner on Valentine’s Day. To recap from 8th […]
Jingle Meh?
Dear Chump Lady, While I’m working on getting out of my situation, I sometimes distract myself with a little mental daydreaming and write new lyrics to classic songs. They’re not always great works, but it’s a method of stress relief that’s kind fun. Because it’s Christmas, here’s a festive little diddy for your mild amusement. […]
Schadenfreude Snark
Yesterday’s breakout moment, about the perils of breaking no contact, was Tbone’s assertion that if she hadn’t looked at her ex’s social media, she never would’ve known “that my ex proposed to his new wife over takeout from Chik-fil-A. Hahahahaha.” Not to be outdone, Sunny replied with an epic hashtag riff: #HowCanYouSayNoToJeebusChicken #WaffleFriesFTW #KeepingItClassy #LadyKillerWithNinjaTakeoutMoves […]
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