Category: Gaslighting
It Took Balls to Cheat on Him?
Dear Chump Lady, Been married 15+ years, to the sweetest person ever. One reason I was attracted to her was because I knew there would …
‘I Thought You Knew’
So this was submitted to Stupid Shit Cheaters Say this week: “I thought you knew about my romantic and sexual relationships all along and were …
Jealousy and ‘Just Friends’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were having issues. It got incredibly bad. I found evidence of something going on. I got suspicious when …
UBT: This Isn’t the Real Me
Ben submitted this glorious bit of bullshit from his not-terribly-remorseful wife. She’d like to set the record straight that the woman who cheated on him …
Reconciliation with the Timid Forest Creature
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …
UBT: I Can’t Remember
Probably no other statement gets sent to the Universal Bullshit Translator more than “I can’t remember.” What is it about cheating that fogs the mind? …
The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender
There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for …
Does Mental Illness Make Him Less of a Cheater?
Hi Chump Lady, Your blog and book have sustained me since I learned last Monday (merry fucking Christmas) that my husband had an ‘emotional’ affair …
The Apology That Wasn’t
The UBT lives on a steady diet of cookies and non-apology apologies. Why just this week it regurgitated “I feel pain” and “I have grown …
‘I Fail to Understand Your Hostility’
There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can …
When It’s More Affairs Than You First Knew
Hi Chump Lady, I have been following for almost a year now and this has seriously helped me grow some balls to leave my cheating …
He’s Sketchy, But Is He Cheating?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been married to a man for 20 years. From day one, he has done some questionable things. Maintained a dating profile …
Is This Cheating?
I get a lot of letters that go something like this: Shady thing. Shady thing. Transgressive OH NO THEY DIDN’T thing. Shady thing. I’m mortified …
The ‘I Fail to Understand Your Hostility’ Mindfuck
There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can …
‘He Returned and Acts Like Nothing Happened’
He’s a serial cheater and he won’t leave the home. Now he’s trying to pretend like nothing happened.
UBT: ‘It’s Not Who I Am’
Dear Chump Lady, Can you please put this through the Universal Bullshit Translator? I do know what the affair did to you, and I’m sincerely …
Why Gaslighting Works
As mindfuckery goes, it doesn’t seem like gaslighting should work. It isn’t concealing the truth (lying) — it’s denying a reality you have actual evidence …
More Stupid Shit Cheaters Say
I know I have a page for this, but why hasn’t Stupid Shit Cheaters Say been a Friday Challenge? The time has come. When I …
How to Deflect Gaslighting
Today’s How-To-Keep-Your-Sanity tips come from CN’s own Amiisfree, who sent in scripts she uses to deflect mindfuckery. If you’re anything like the average chump, (decent, …
Dear Chump Lady, My husband is a marriage counselor with a double life
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) …
