Category: Gaslighting

“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked

Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …

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“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair …

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Mindfuck blender

Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth

Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently …

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Your Time on the Marriage Police Force

If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” …

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Hopium

Dear Chump Lady, Please kill my hope

Dear Chump Lady, Three years ago, I found out that my husband had had a three-year affair. When I found out, he told me I …

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Respond to Mindfuckery with Ridicule

Ideally, no one sticks around for gaslighting. The best response is no response — because you’re not there. But if you’re still in the thick …

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broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, He’s stuck on his ‘intentions’

Dear Chump Lady, I caught an incoming text on my husband’s phone from a coworker. Of course, he lied and said it was nothing and …

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bitch cookie

Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?

Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says …

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stitched heart

UBT: “You’re the one who still has my heart”

There’s a common trope in the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, that it doesn’t matter how many fuckbuddies one has, or for how long, the important thing …

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not a unicorn

“I’ve changed!” — The Chump Response

I reckon I’ve read tens of thousands of infidelity stories to date. Maybe hundreds of thousands. (I should crunch the numbers.) And one common recitation …

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Dear Chump Lady, Why won’t he admit cheating?

Dear Chump Lady, What do you do when they will NEVER admit to the truth? Even after you have hired a Private Investigator who traced …

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cheat on me

Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?

I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in …

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not a unicorn

Dear Chump Lady, Do I believe him or the proof?

Dear Chump Lady, Four years ago I found out my husband was interacting with women online from a sex website. He was active on the …

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Dear Chump Lady, I need confirmation that he cheated

Dear Chump Lady, A few years ago I discovered that my husband was actively writing on a reddit-style message board. Based on what he wrote …

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mindfuck

The Mindfuck Only Has Three Channels

I have a cousin who is going through a miserable divorce with a cheater. Long marriage, double life, financial abuse. You guys know the drill. I’ve …

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Dear Chump Lady, He won’t admit to cheating

Dear Chump Lady, I am almost a year out from DD. My ex and I are still going through divorce and I thought I was …

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mindfuck

Dear Chump Lady, When does this get easier?

Dear Chump Lady, A month ago was My D-Day where I found out my wife of 5 years (partner for 10) and mother of my two beautiful …

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UBT: There Is No Right or Wrong in the World

Dear Chump Lady, I am well on my way to meh after divorcing and dealing with texbook cheater speak for the last 5 years. The …

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mindfuck

The “I Fail to Understand Your Hostility” Mindfuck

There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can …

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Dear Chump Lady, Husband said OW’s name during sex

Dear Chump Lady, My husband had a six-year affair with Jackie. I found out six months ago and we have been diligently working to reconcile. He …

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