Category: Gaslighting
How to Deflect Gaslighting
Today’s How-To-Keep-Your-Sanity tips come from CN’s own Amiisfree, who sent in scripts she uses to deflect mindfuckery. If you’re anything like the average chump, (decent, …
Dear Chump Lady, My husband is a marriage counselor with a double life
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) …
Gaslighting — Who’s The Crazy One Here?
Dear Chump Lady, Can we talk about the horrible act and effects of gaslighting by cheaters and how they try to make you think you’re …
Dear Chump Lady, Am I just a chump stereotype?
Dear Chump Lady, When I found your book I had been one of the suckers that was searching the RIC sites for answers. I had …
UBT: ProJared’s Divorce Statement
The Universal Bullshit Translator was awakened from its slumber to several insistent tweets that it tackle some sort of ProJared bullshit. The UBT had no idea …
Rethinking the Psychologists Rethinking Monogamy
An alert chump sent me this tidbit in his Apple News feed: “Psychologists Agree: It May Be Time to Rethink Your Monogamous Relationship Research makes …
Beware the Timid Forest Creatures
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t get my ex’s voice out of my head
Hi Chump Lady, I am heading toward the end of the divorce process for leaving my cheater. Overall things are progressing rather well for me. …
“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked
Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …
“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair …
Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth
Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently …
Your Time on the Marriage Police Force
If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” …
Dear Chump Lady, Please kill my hope
Dear Chump Lady, Three years ago, I found out that my husband had had a three-year affair. When I found out, he told me I …
Respond to Mindfuckery with Ridicule
Ideally, no one sticks around for gaslighting. The best response is no response — because you’re not there. But if you’re still in the thick …
Dear Chump Lady, He’s stuck on his ‘intentions’
Dear Chump Lady, I caught an incoming text on my husband’s phone from a coworker. Of course, he lied and said it was nothing and …
Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?
Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says …
UBT: “You’re the one who still has my heart”
There’s a common trope in the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, that it doesn’t matter how many fuckbuddies one has, or for how long, the important thing …
“I’ve changed!” — The Chump Response
I reckon I’ve read tens of thousands of infidelity stories to date. Maybe hundreds of thousands. (I should crunch the numbers.) And one common recitation …
Dear Chump Lady, Why won’t he admit cheating?
Dear Chump Lady, What do you do when they will NEVER admit to the truth? Even after you have hired a Private Investigator who traced …
Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?
I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in …
