Category: Gaslighting


How to Deflect Gaslighting

Today’s How-To-Keep-Your-Sanity tips come from CN’s own Amiisfree, who sent in scripts she uses to deflect mindfuckery. If you’re anything like the average chump, (decent, …

Read More
Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, My husband is a marriage counselor with a double life

Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) …

Read More

Gaslighting — Who’s The Crazy One Here?

Dear Chump Lady, Can we talk about the horrible act and effects of gaslighting by cheaters and how they try to make you think you’re …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Am I just a chump stereotype?

Dear Chump Lady, When I found your book I had been one of the suckers that was searching the RIC sites for answers. I had …

Read More

UBT: ProJared’s Divorce Statement

The Universal Bullshit Translator was awakened from its slumber to several insistent tweets that it tackle some sort of ProJared bullshit. The UBT had no idea …

Read More

Rethinking the Psychologists Rethinking Monogamy

An alert chump sent me this tidbit in his Apple News feed: “Psychologists Agree: It May Be Time to Rethink Your Monogamous Relationship Research makes …

Read More

Beware the Timid Forest Creatures

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

Read More
Rejection man

Dear Chump Lady, I can’t get my ex’s voice out of my head

Hi Chump Lady, I am heading toward the end of the divorce process for leaving my cheater. Overall things are progressing rather well for me. …

Read More

“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked

Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …

Read More

“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair …

Read More
Mindfuck blender

Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth

Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently …

Read More

Your Time on the Marriage Police Force

If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Please kill my hope

Dear Chump Lady, Three years ago, I found out that my husband had had a three-year affair. When I found out, he told me I …

Read More

Respond to Mindfuckery with Ridicule

Ideally, no one sticks around for gaslighting. The best response is no response — because you’re not there. But if you’re still in the thick …

Read More
broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, He’s stuck on his ‘intentions’

Dear Chump Lady, I caught an incoming text on my husband’s phone from a coworker. Of course, he lied and said it was nothing and …

Read More
bitch cookie

Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?

Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says …

Read More
stitched heart

UBT: “You’re the one who still has my heart”

There’s a common trope in the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, that it doesn’t matter how many fuckbuddies one has, or for how long, the important thing …

Read More
not a unicorn

“I’ve changed!” — The Chump Response

I reckon I’ve read tens of thousands of infidelity stories to date. Maybe hundreds of thousands. (I should crunch the numbers.) And one common recitation …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Why won’t he admit cheating?

Dear Chump Lady, What do you do when they will NEVER admit to the truth? Even after you have hired a Private Investigator who traced …

Read More
cheat on me

Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?

I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in …

Read More