Category: Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse

He Doesn’t Feel Sorry, He Just Feels ‘Bad’

Dear Chump Lady, I just had a conversation with my cheating husband. He now admits to at least a part of what he did, although …

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Universal Bullshit Translator

UBT: ‘You Aren’t Discarded’

Hello Chump Lady! I am in need of a good wake up call in the form of the UBT. I have been dating FW for …

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She’s Sorry Now That She Cheated

Dear Chump Lady, I have been married to my wife (possibly soon to be ex) for over 25 years. I was 23 and she was …

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5 Ways to Decode a Non-Apology Apology

If you’re a chump you might have a hard time distinguishing between a real apology and a non-apology. Welcome to Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. GINR is …

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Rejection man

She Was Going to ‘Make It Up to Me’

Hello Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your posts for the past three years understanding and yet ignoring all of your sage advice till just recently. …

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not a unicorn

UBT: ‘I’m Trying Right Now’

Dear Chump Lady: I am checking in for some support and encouragement as I enter the home stretch of leaving the cheater. The hoovering is …

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He Apologized. Now What?

Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for 10 months (separated for almost two years) From my husband of 22 years. He cheated on me …

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leave a cheater

Is Breaking Up 4 Years After D-Day ‘Overreacting’?

Dear Chump Lady, I recently discovered your book and am about half way through it… D-Day was 4 years ago and I went through everything …

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sadz

UBT: ‘I Am Feeling Sad About This’

Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if I could donate some extra Lebkuchen for the UBT for this one? This is about the 4th (I …

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sadz

UBT: “I Needed You So Much”

Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if you could run this e-mail by the UBT. I received this letter from my ex-fuckwit after 18+ months …

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sadz

Jeffrey Toobin’s Non-Apology Apology

I don’t understand why CNN took legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin back. I guess there is a serious articulate lawyer shortage in Washington, D.C. and New …

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chasing unicorn

It Was a ‘One-Off’ — Let It Go?

Dear Chump Lady, Been married 21 years, and late last year my wife was on a vacation with my adult daughter, where she had a …

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unicorn

Getting a Friendly ‘Weird Vibe’ from Ex-Wife

Hello Chump Lady, My ex wife and I divorced in July and since then, I’ve gotten very strange vibes from her. I discovered she was …

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planet narcissist

UBT: This Isn’t the Real Me

Ben submitted this glorious bit of bullshit from his not-terribly-remorseful wife. She’d like to set the record straight that the woman who cheated on him …

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The Dying OW’s Confession

Dear Chump Lady: My soon-to-be-ex, was a serial cheater. D-Day #1 was in August of 2018, when one of his mistresses sent a confession email …

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planet narcissist

What Advice Would You Give a Serial Cheater?

Dear Chump Lady, What advice would you give a serial cheater? I broke my family, lied to those closest to me, and mentally and emotionally …

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Narcissist Goldfish

The Apology That Wasn’t

The UBT lives on a steady diet of cookies and non-apology apologies. Why just this week it regurgitated “I feel pain” and “I have grown …

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not a unicorn

‘He Had a Complete Change of Heart’

Hi Chump Lady, My favorite thing about your writing about cheating is how swiftly and ruthlessly you cut through the waffling to reach the unpretty …

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No One Is Entitled to Reconciliation

I know my message — “leave a cheater, gain a life” is not popular with cheaters and the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. I mean, duh. At …

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Yeah, That’s Not an Apology

Today’s column is on Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. You know, those weak-ass apologies that upon closer inspection don’t really convey “sorry” at all. If you’re a chump, …

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