You ever wonder why hopium is addictive? Apparently, there is some interesting brain science on this. You’d think, when you get a kibble (he went to therapy! she says she loves me!), you’d get a reward. (Or in brain science lingo, your neurotransmitters get a dopamine hit.) But this fellow, Robert Sapolsky, professor of biology […]
This Is Your Brain on Hopium
Hopium is a powerful drug. You can hand a chump the most desperate set of circumstances, and goddamn it, that chump will work with it. Let’s just give it a year! I owe it to us to try! Sure, I can ionize my needs into tiny, undetectable particles! You’ll never get a whiff of my anger, […]
Maybe He’ll See What He’s Missing
Dear Chump Lady, I am a little over three months out from D-Day now and I feel I have given myself a major setback. I came across another website that in some ways should probably be called “The Chump Maker.” They do have some good advice and articles, but you really have to be on […]
Bitch Cookie: ‘He Doesn’t Blame Me’
Hi Chump Lady, Chump me is getting a divorce, after catching my husband cheating on me for the third time. It was a “three strikes, you’re out” kind of deal. I was the chump for even giving him one. He claims his affair partner is cut out of his life now. He has never once […]
Is He a Unicorn or a Narcissist?
He left her for the OW. Now he’s back on weekends. Planting a garden. Buying her gifts. Having sex. Is this… reconciliation? Chump Lady wields the clue bat.
Seconding Guessing Yourself About Leaving
Dear Chump Lady, My husband has cheated on me with two different women over the course of the last year and a half. I found out about one, moved to my mom’s and then came back to the family home to find out he was cheating with another one about 3 months later. I have […]
It Was a ‘One-Off’ — Let It Go?
Dear Chump Lady, Been married 21 years, and late last year my wife was on a vacation with my adult daughter, where she had a fling with a guy which included a sexual betrayal. Flirting by the pool, exchanging texts, eventually getting together for drinks, back to his room, and it turned sexual. My daughter […]
UBT: The Apology That Never Came
Hello Chump Lady! I’ve got a fine bit of BS here and I’d like to see what you think. Brief background: My ex-wife had an affair with her boss, assumed it was going somewhere, and divorced my chump-ass without a lick of remorse. Last year, about 2 years later, their relationship ended. Still high on […]
When You Discover Your Boyfriend Has a Married Girlfriend
Dear Chump Lady, Last week, I left my boyfriend of 11 months. I recently discovered that before meeting with me, he had been in a relationship with a woman who had two kids and a husband for a year and a half. He lied about her for 11 months (the entire length of our relationship, […]
Your Long, Strange Hopium Trips
Chumpy hearts die hard. Armed with the smallest evidence that a freak still cares, a chump will assign great significance to scraps. HE CALLED (to ask that I pick up his dry-cleaning.) HE RETURNED (to get his kayak). SHE WANTS ME (can I babysit tonight?) Sigh. It’s what makes us chumps — idiotically ascribing decent […]
