ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Playing the Victim?

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Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]

Dear Chump Lady, He sees me as the Fixer

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Dear Chump Lady, The other night as the Super Bowl was just getting started, my 18-year-old daughter called me into her bedroom. Her dad, (my ex of nine months), had just called to tell her he was vacationing and got married in Vegas the day before! Within five minutes he texted me: “Hey there. I […]

Don’t Send It

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Here’s a chump rookie mistake — sending cheaters improving articles. Please don’t do it. Worse, please don’t send them my articles. Because invariably I’ll get a sniffy email that goes: Dear Chump-Whatever-You-Are, I am Priscilla Von HuffyPants and I am disgusted with a slanderous article that I just received where someone linked to this website […]

Best No Contact Strategies

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Anyone wobbly on Trust That They Suck? Today’s fun Friday challenge is to tell CN your best no contact strategies. Oh, I know it’s simple to delete a phone number or unfriend someone on social media — I’m talking about the mental discipline that keeps your itchy trigger finger from hitting “send” on that 14-page, […]

Dear Chump Lady, He shoveled my snow, so he cares?

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Dear Chump Lady, Situation:  I had a feeling that my husband of 8 years messed around with my best friend on New Year’s.  I was smart and didn’t confront him. Instead, I gathered info, texts, found a timeline of events that didn’t make sense, and last found “remnants” of her “juices” on the front of […]

“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

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Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]

Dear Chump Lady, He wants a character reference

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Hi CL, I was married for 25+ years to a serial cheater, liar, sex addict, abuser, manipulator (yeah, he was all that and a bag of chips). I finally threw him out last summer and we were divorced last fall — best thing I ever did. We haven’t communicated much (a good thing), but we […]

Dear Chump Lady, Please kick my ass

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Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been doing good at no contact / grey rock for awhile now (8 months) and was getting to be a regular visitor to Meh. But the cheaterpants was-band has a new Schmoopie and I got weak. I looked at his online profile and apparently he dropped the last one because — […]

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

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A common point of chump bafflement is why we attach so hard when cheaters detach so easily. I get some very, very long letters trying to untangle this particular skein. She told me she loved me, and texted the OM hearts and smileys 30 seconds later. He walked out on four children. I had cancer […]