This “Fun” Friday contest was suggested by an intrepid chump this week — no contact fails, the outtakes. If your chumpy existence was a Bloopers show — what mortifying episode would you highlight? That time you pet sat for her when she was in the Bahamas with the Other Man? Did you drunk text a booty […]
Dear Chump Lady, He wants a character reference
Hi Chump Lady, I was married for 25+ years to a serial cheater, liar, sex addict, abuser, manipulator (yeah, he was all that and a bag of chips). I finally threw him out last summer and we were divorced last fall — best thing I ever did. We haven’t communicated much (a good thing), but […]
No Contact Wins
Freaks can fling some tasty bait at chumps. Why, just last Monday we read about the cheater who told everyone his chump ex was ISIS. Your Fun Friday Challenge is to share your no contact wins with CN. What provocation, insult, ridiculous rumor, bad tagged Facebook photo, withering slight did you NOT react to? What’s […]
Dear Chump Lady, I’m angry with myself for not leaving sooner
Dear Chump Lady. I recently read your book, and it’s helped me a lot to not contact my ex-boyfriend (which had previously been very difficult), and to fully acknowledge his bullshit answers on evidence that never made sense. I first (yes, first…) discovered his cheating about three years ago. It came with the baggage of […]
How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?
Dear Chump Lady, Although he fits the readings, although the therapists tell you he is a narcissist, you don’t quite believe it. It isn’t quite human. How can someone be this weird? I decided when I worked out that our “reconciliation” was actually emotional abuse, when I discovered I had descended into a bitter, hopeless, […]
You Don’t Need Closure
Once upon a time, a fellow “Chump Chap” wrote to me after he realized that he’d gotten a non-apology apology from his cheating ex. He’d committed a common but grievous rookie mistake — he asked his cheater why. For “closure.” Chump Chap didn’t realize it was a fake apology until later. After he wrote me. […]
Meh Sightings?
Have you had a glimpse of the Promised Land? Are you Meh? “Meh” — that liberating place of acceptance — is where you no longer are consumed with cheater drama. You don’t love them. You don’t hate them. You sort of pity anyone within a five-mile radius of them, but their existence doesn’t rock yours anymore. You’re […]
Facebook Is NOT Helping You Move on
Previous generations got to break up with people and never had to see the jerks again. A hundred years ago, if you were lucky your cheater rode the rails out of town to Butte, Montana and fell down a mining shaft. Unfortunately, you’d never get to enjoy that particular bit of schadenfreude. However, you wouldn’t […]
Why No Contact Works
What’s the secret sauce to getting a fuckwit out your life? No Contact. I thought today I’d do a refresher course on why no contact is so effective. First a caveat about what no contact is NOT. It’s not the 180. It’s not some passive-aggressive silent treatment to get your wingnut to behave. Fine! Harrumph! […]
Dear Chump Lady, Am I the toxic one?
Dear Chump Lady: I’m not sure it’s possible to get through this nightmare of truth-trickling and gaslighting without picking up a maladaptive strategy or two. But I am really really ready to put them down now. From raking him about his movements to stalking his social media, I am starting to resemble the Eight Signs […]
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