ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Dear Chump Lady, Am I the toxic one?

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Dear Chump Lady: I’m not sure it’s possible to get through this nightmare of truth-trickling and gaslighting without picking up a maladaptive strategy or two. But I am really really ready to put them down now. From raking him about his movements to stalking his social media, I am starting to resemble the Eight Signs […]

Dear Chump Lady, Do I owe him an explanation?

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Dear Chump Lady, I was married 6 years. No kids. Three years ago was D-Day. Got the usual “I love you but…” A month later he gets off our phone plan, gets an apartment, of course I think affair, but no, he says he’s just depressed. Needs weren’t met, etc. But he does want to […]

Dear Chump Lady, He moved down the street

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Dear Chump Lady, I divorced my (abusive) ex-husband a year ago after 17 years of marriage and 4 children. That wasn’t fun for him, so he decided to choose bars, cocaine parties and hookers over the whole marriage/family gig. He is now allowed 4 hours a month with the kids, which he rarely blesses us […]

Playing the Victim?

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Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]

Dear Chump Lady, He sees me as the Fixer

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Dear Chump Lady, The other night as the Super Bowl was just getting started, my 18-year-old daughter called me into her bedroom. Her dad, (my ex of nine months), had just called to tell her he was vacationing and got married in Vegas the day before! Within five minutes he texted me: “Hey there. I […]

Don’t Send It

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Here’s a chump rookie mistake — sending cheaters improving articles. Please don’t do it. Worse, please don’t send them my articles. Because invariably I’ll get a sniffy email that goes: Dear Chump-Whatever-You-Are, I am Priscilla Von HuffyPants and I am disgusted with a slanderous article that I just received where someone linked to this website […]

Best No Contact Strategies

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Anyone wobbly on Trust That They Suck? Today’s fun Friday challenge is to tell CN your best no contact strategies. Oh, I know it’s simple to delete a phone number or unfriend someone on social media — I’m talking about the mental discipline that keeps your itchy trigger finger from hitting “send” on that 14-page, […]

Dear Chump Lady, He shoveled my snow, so he cares?

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Dear Chump Lady, Situation:  I had a feeling that my husband of 8 years messed around with my best friend on New Year’s.  I was smart and didn’t confront him. Instead, I gathered info, texts, found a timeline of events that didn’t make sense, and last found “remnants” of her “juices” on the front of […]

“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

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Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]