Have you had a glimpse of the Promised Land? Are you Meh? “Meh” — that liberating place of acceptance — is where you no longer are consumed with cheater drama. You don’t love them. You don’t hate them. You sort of pity anyone within a five-mile radius of them, but their existence doesn’t rock yours anymore. You’re […]
Facebook Is NOT Helping You Move on
Previous generations got to break up with people and never had to see the jerks again. A hundred years ago, if you were lucky your cheater rode the rails out of town to Butte, Montana and fell down a mining shaft. Unfortunately, you’d never get to enjoy that particular bit of schadenfreude. However, you wouldn’t […]
Why No Contact Works
What’s the secret sauce to getting a fuckwit out your life? No Contact. I thought today I’d do a refresher course on why no contact is so effective. First a caveat about what no contact is NOT. It’s not the 180. It’s not some passive-aggressive silent treatment to get your wingnut to behave. Fine! Harrumph! […]
Dear Chump Lady, Am I the toxic one?
Dear Chump Lady: I’m not sure it’s possible to get through this nightmare of truth-trickling and gaslighting without picking up a maladaptive strategy or two. But I am really really ready to put them down now. From raking him about his movements to stalking his social media, I am starting to resemble the Eight Signs […]
Dear Chump Lady, Do I owe him an explanation?
Dear Chump Lady, I was married 6 years. No kids. Three years ago was D-Day. Got the usual “I love you but…” A month later he gets off our phone plan, gets an apartment, of course I think affair, but no, he says he’s just depressed. Needs weren’t met, etc. But he does want to […]
Dear Chump Lady, Please be mean
Dear Chump Lady, I need help. Preferably the bitch slapping kind. I’m hoping just writing this will help. Your site was a breath of fresh air for me, with all the kid glove handling I’ve been getting. My now ex and I had a child 9 months ago. I found out he was cheating on […]
Dear Chump Lady, He moved down the street
Dear Chump Lady, I divorced my (abusive) ex-husband a year ago after 17 years of marriage and 4 children. That wasn’t fun for him, so he decided to choose bars, cocaine parties and hookers over the whole marriage/family gig. He is now allowed 4 hours a month with the kids, which he rarely blesses us […]
Playing the Victim?
Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]
Dear Chump Lady, He sees me as the Fixer
Dear Chump Lady, The other night as the Super Bowl was just getting started, my 18-year-old daughter called me into her bedroom. Her dad, (my ex of nine months), had just called to tell her he was vacationing and got married in Vegas the day before! Within five minutes he texted me: “Hey there. I […]
Don’t Send It
Here’s a chump rookie mistake — sending cheaters improving articles. Please don’t do it. Worse, please don’t send them my articles. Because invariably I’ll get a sniffy email that goes: Dear Chump-Whatever-You-Are, I am Priscilla Von HuffyPants and I am disgusted with a slanderous article that I just received where someone linked to this website […]
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