Category: Pick me dance


David Brooks Can Bite Me

I’m sure you’re all thrilled to crumbs to learn that New York Times columnist David Brooks — deli meat snob, scourge of single mothers, and misunderstood …

Read More
butt face

Stupid Requests Cheaters Make?

Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out after discovering I was a chump extraordinaire. After uprooting our family of four for a new job …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, He told me not to tell

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a 36-year-old military wife who found out my husband was cheating early last month (February). It began as an emotional affair …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Please be mean

Dear Chump Lady, I need help. Preferably the bitch slapping kind. I’m hoping just writing this will help. Your site was a breath of fresh …

Read More
maintain your dignity

Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain stop?

Dear Chump Lady, Tonight is a hard night for some reason. It has been 11 months since D-Day. And since then stories of other affairs …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, He puts the OW phone to say ‘goodnight’ to our child

Dear Chump Lady, I kicked my husband out two weeks ago after discovering his affair with a woman 20 years older than me. He’s now …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker

Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, …

Read More

The Pick Me Dance for Fun and Profit

After the last couple batshit crazy OW texts I’ve put through the Universal Bullshit Translator, I was thinking to myself — why? Why do Other Women (and …

Read More
Voodoo doll

Dear Chump Lady, I’m obsessed with the OW

Dear Chump Lady, I know you’ve heard this saga for years. I just read a similar letter from a woman who was angry and jealous …

Read More

“Closure,” Don’t Do It.

“Closure” is just another word for hopium. Put down the crack pipe, chumps. Don’t confuse closure with acceptance. We’re all about the meh here. Acceptance …

Read More

The Case of the Dangling Former Spouse

Dear Chump Lady, I am nearly at meh, three years from D-Day and two from my divorce from a world class Cluster B, alcoholic, successful …

Read More

When You Perform the Pick Me Dance Wrong

I’ve concluded that Other Women enjoy the pick me dance — but only when the chump is clueless that she’s performing it. Sorry to go all …

Read More

“What do I tell my crying children?”

Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Do cheaters blameshift?

Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if this is a common saying that chumps hear on D-day. Upon discovering my husband’ s texts to another …

Read More

What You Thought It Was… What It Really Was

In the early days after D-Day, caught up in the Pick Me Dance, chumps have a tendency to romanticize cheaters’ affairs and the affair partners. …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, I’m too old to start over

Dear Chump Lady, My husband cheated on me. When I found out, it had been going on for a month or so…..but thought it was …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t want him, but she can’t have him

Dear Chump Lady, I have been with my husband for 15 years, married 12, 2 kids (9 and 5). He is a serial cheater. My …

Read More

You’d Like Them If You Really Knew Them

One of the classic “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” utterances is, “You know, if you met (the Schmoopie), you’d really like (him/her)! They’re a lot like …

Read More
broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, He says I’m not “the one”

Dear Chump Lady, I was dating a guy for a few months and he called me yesterday and said after a lot of praying that …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, Should I confront the affair partner?

Dear Chump Lady, I found out about 6 months ago that my husband was having an emotional affair with my cousin. (He denies a sexual …

Read More