Category: Pick me dance
David Brooks Can Bite Me
I’m sure you’re all thrilled to crumbs to learn that New York Times columnist David Brooks — deli meat snob, scourge of single mothers, and misunderstood …
Stupid Requests Cheaters Make?
Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out after discovering I was a chump extraordinaire. After uprooting our family of four for a new job …
Dear Chump Lady, He told me not to tell
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a 36-year-old military wife who found out my husband was cheating early last month (February). It began as an emotional affair …
Dear Chump Lady, Please be mean
Dear Chump Lady, I need help. Preferably the bitch slapping kind. I’m hoping just writing this will help. Your site was a breath of fresh …
Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain stop?
Dear Chump Lady, Tonight is a hard night for some reason. It has been 11 months since D-Day. And since then stories of other affairs …
Dear Chump Lady, He puts the OW phone to say ‘goodnight’ to our child
Dear Chump Lady, I kicked my husband out two weeks ago after discovering his affair with a woman 20 years older than me. He’s now …
Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, …
The Pick Me Dance for Fun and Profit
After the last couple batshit crazy OW texts I’ve put through the Universal Bullshit Translator, I was thinking to myself — why? Why do Other Women (and …
Dear Chump Lady, I’m obsessed with the OW
Dear Chump Lady, I know you’ve heard this saga for years. I just read a similar letter from a woman who was angry and jealous …
“Closure,” Don’t Do It.
“Closure” is just another word for hopium. Put down the crack pipe, chumps. Don’t confuse closure with acceptance. We’re all about the meh here. Acceptance …
The Case of the Dangling Former Spouse
Dear Chump Lady, I am nearly at meh, three years from D-Day and two from my divorce from a world class Cluster B, alcoholic, successful …
When You Perform the Pick Me Dance Wrong
I’ve concluded that Other Women enjoy the pick me dance — but only when the chump is clueless that she’s performing it. Sorry to go all …
“What do I tell my crying children?”
Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump …
Dear Chump Lady, Do cheaters blameshift?
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if this is a common saying that chumps hear on D-day. Upon discovering my husband’ s texts to another …
What You Thought It Was… What It Really Was
In the early days after D-Day, caught up in the Pick Me Dance, chumps have a tendency to romanticize cheaters’ affairs and the affair partners. …
Dear Chump Lady, I’m too old to start over
Dear Chump Lady, My husband cheated on me. When I found out, it had been going on for a month or so…..but thought it was …
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t want him, but she can’t have him
Dear Chump Lady, I have been with my husband for 15 years, married 12, 2 kids (9 and 5). He is a serial cheater. My …
You’d Like Them If You Really Knew Them
One of the classic “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” utterances is, “You know, if you met (the Schmoopie), you’d really like (him/her)! They’re a lot like …
Dear Chump Lady, He says I’m not “the one”
Dear Chump Lady, I was dating a guy for a few months and he called me yesterday and said after a lot of praying that …
Dear Chump Lady, Should I confront the affair partner?
Dear Chump Lady, I found out about 6 months ago that my husband was having an emotional affair with my cousin. (He denies a sexual …
