Dear Chump Lady, I was in a relationship for 15 years, married for the last five. I’m not wired to be jealous over sex — I like it when pretty people do things to each other. Sensing he wanted to wander, though, I’d negotiated three rules: he could do whatever as long as it was […]
Is Monogamy Abuse?
Dear Chump Lady The thing that I wanted to talk to you about has nothing to do with cheating, but everything to do with monogamy. Right now in mainstream media monogamy is being called outdated and regressive. If you want monogamous relationship you are deemed insecure, controlling, unloving and on… Is monogamy abuse? Do you […]
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think he’s a narcissist
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a chump who discovered my husband’s year-long affair that took place nine years ago while dealing with the fallout of me discovering him messaging and dating a couple of women telling them we’d separated and that he was lonely. A bit of backstory, at the time of the messaging/dating, I’d left […]
The Pick Me Dance and Polyamory
Hi Chump Lady, I think I’m almost out of the woods with getting over my cheater, but right as I get to “meh,” I realize that I’m still quite angry at him and want to contact him. We began in an “open relationship” where he assured me that he wasn’t interested in the other woman […]
Chump Lady on Orgies
An alert chump once sent me an article in Vogue, “That Time I Went to a Sex Party” by “Slutever” Karley Sciortino. As it appeared in Vogue, realize right now that whomever they’re writing about is younger, slimmer, and better dressed than you. So it stands to reason that the sex is more fabulous as […]
Dear Chump Lady, We divorced… and now she wants to reconcile
Dear Chump Lady, Prior to finding your site, and just after D-Day in 2012, I was an active member on another infidelity site. Fortunately many members were very helpful in making me “see the light” and urging me to divorce. The “reconciliation industrial complex (RIC)” members in my case were few. In any case, like […]
Open Marriage Skepticism
I love the New York Times, but last week they irritated the ever-living fuck out of me by running their Open Marriage series on the online front page — for days. (Really NYT, isn’t there enough insanity in our daily news cycle without having to plumb the shallow depths of “Daniel’s” dissatisfaction with vanilla sex?) “Does Open […]
UBT: “Please Don’t Give Up On Me!”
Dear Chump Lady, Long-time reader, first-time UBT submitter. I’m a gay man and was with my ex-boyfriend for about 7 years. I need some UBT help on a handwritten letter I got from him after official no-contact for a month and some change. I still love him and am weak in the knees after getting […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband is trying to pimp me out to strangers
Dear Chump Lady, So my husband confessed to pimping me out to random strangers on the Internet in pursuit of sex (for the third time). A couple of years ago while on vacation, we (mutually) decided to try a threesome. Being bisexual, I admit I enjoyed it, but I KNOW I made it very loud and […]
UBT: Renegade Sex Therapists
Raise your hand if you think good sex is an important part of a good relationship. Oh, hey, is that all of you? I think most of us can agree that good sex is a Good Thing. How do you define good? Well, that’s between you and your partner to figure out. (Enjoy those experiments, kids!) […]
