The UBT can’t even. The Universal Bullshit Translator got several requests to shred the Guardian’s “Family” feature (seriously editors, FAMILY? Really?) “My husband has stopped cheating on me after 35 years“. It’s the confessions of a woman who stood for her marriage and at last report has won a decades-long pick me dance. Among the […]
Therapy Fails?
Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out hearts, brains, and courage. You either bring that stuff to the shrink sofa, or you don’t. So today’s Fun (?) Friday Challenge is to share your Therapy Fails. It can […]
UBT: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity
Every crime needs an investigation. Not to worry, Inspector Esther Perel is on the case! And now you can be an amateur sleuth too thanks to this free download on Amazon: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity. Whodunnit? Well, that’s obvious. It’s that cheater sitting next to you. (Gasp!) But is it really? Maybe… maybe… […]
Cheating Wife Needs a ‘Safe Space’
Dear Chump Lady, I got married 3 years ago and recently my wife and I had a baby. My wife and baby are both gorgeous, by the way. But a few weeks ago at a therapy session my wife wanted me to go to with her (she’d been a little depressed lately) — I was […]
Why Can’t I Say ‘Cheater’?
Dear Chump Lady. I love your blog, but I am on the fence about staying or leaving. I am in recovery mode. I follow several people on Twitter for and against reconciliation and today I was shocked to see the post from Rosie Joseph and Elle saying not to use the word “cheater.” Why the […]
UBT the Trust Bank
CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]
UBT: ‘Dear Therapist’
Sometimes I wonder if I made up the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. How could advice be so manifestly stupid and devoid of commonsense? It’s a joke, right? Some kind of cruel performance art? Then in waltzes Lori Gottlieb aka ‘Dear Therapist’ of the Atlantic Monthly. While other bullshit artists are pickling sharks in formaldehyde or suspending […]
The Unlikelihood of Immediate Remorse
There was an article over at HuffPo once on how a cheater should tell their spouse they’ve been having an affair. A discussion on tell versus don’t tell. (I’m not going there — duh, TELL. Yes. Of course.) But what interested me about the interview with Dr. Scott Haltzmann is his peculiar warning that cheaters might […]
RIC Tag Lines?
I got a Twitter response to yesterday’s column taking me to task for encouraging “irresponsible” behavior (lawyering up and leaving a cheating husband) within two months. I’m not here to savage that response, it’s a typical RIC tenet of faith — don’t make any decisions for at least 6 months! — obviously this person is […]
UBT: Why Happy People Cheat
I’m sure you’re all curious “Why Happy People Cheat.” ChumpPrincess sent me a link from the Good Men Project with that title. The UBT groaned, “Haven’t I regurgitated this bullshit before?” Probably. There are about a bazillion exact titles of Why Happy People Cheat on the interwebs, from the Atlantic Monthly to Psychology Today to Esther […]
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