Dear Chump Lady, My husband cheated almost three years ago. Since that time he has been remorseful and been the husband that he was before cheating and more. Three years in… I’m at a loss. I feel like I have wasted his time because I’m seriously thinking of leaving. Last time I had a bad […]
Debunking “Affairs Are About Opportunity”
One tenet of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex is that “Affairs are about opportunity.” (Also known as the Chris Rock line, “You’re only as faithful as your options.”) Why on earth is this the accepted “wisdom”? Yeah, affairs are about opportunity, the way bank robberies are about Thursdays. If affairs are about opportunity, (and not lousy […]
I Want My Cheating Wife to Read Your Book
Dear Chump Lady, I have been cheated on by my wife a few times. She has also committed financial infidelity a few times. I have stayed and tried to work things out in fairness to our kids. Our youngest turned 18 and is off to college. That was my finish line. After reading your book, […]
It Was a ‘One-Off’ — Let It Go?
Dear Chump Lady, Been married 21 years, and late last year my wife was on a vacation with my adult daughter, where she had a fling with a guy which included a sexual betrayal. Flirting by the pool, exchanging texts, eventually getting together for drinks, back to his room, and it turned sexual. My daughter […]
Debunking Marriage Builders, Inc.
One piece of advice the Reconciliation Industrial Complex likes to give after D-Day is telling chumps it is their responsibility to make the marriage “a good place to be” after an affair. That way your cake-eating spouse will see what they’re missing. Often this advice is combined with the contradictory advice to be all 180 […]
Ex Wants Chump to Go to Therapy with Her
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-wife (20-year marriage) went to my therapist. (Chump that I am, I recommended that the cheating ex-wife use my therapist to save money because she knew the story.) Now she wants me to go to a meeting with her this coming Monday the 14th! Therapist called, told me it was about finding […]
Reconciliation with the Timid Forest Creature
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
We Reconciled… He Cheated Again
Hi Chump Lady, I just finished your book… For the second time. Two years ago I found out he had an affair with a 20-something from work. (He was 56 at the time). We were married for 30 years at the time, and, things were great. We traveled, socialized, and had great sex. I thought […]
‘Why Do Reconciliation Bloggers Annoy Me?’
Dearest Chump Lady, Why does the Reconciliation Industrial Complex annoy me so much? I don’t want to name any names, but while looking for support groups, I come across a Twitter of an infidelity survivor who has done podcasts, books, you name it. After some research I find out it’s only been two years. The […]
Esther Perel’s Myth of the Good Cheater
So, Esther Perel follows me on Twitter. Which is big of her considering I told her to bite me. On the other hand, there might be something in it for her as she’s writing a book on infidelity, according to the New York Times, and is only taking on new clients “who have experienced infidelity.” Perhaps she’s studying […]
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