Hey chumps! I can’t type much today as I’m on an iPad and my fat stubby fingers get frustrated on a virtual keyboard. But I’ll be back tomorrow. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you yesterday when we saw the Unicorn Tapestries. An interesting unicorn factoid — the unicorn is a symbol […]
Dear Chump Lady, Unicorns are real
Hi Chumps, Just a note that today’s blog post letter is being answered by fellow chump Chris DiRico while I’m away from the blog for a couple days. As much as I’d like to perform a unicorn deconstruction, Chris has taken that job today. Tracy/CL —— Hi there Chump Lady, I am a big fan […]
Love Without Respect
I’ve tackled the question of can cheaters really love you while they are cheating on you (as many of them claim). My opinion is that betrayal and love are incompatible. Love is action. It’s hard to claim you love someone if you’re hitting them, or cheating on them, or robbing their wallet. And yet, many […]
A Word about Reconciliation
An extra post today, guys. We have new chumps joining our ranks each day, and all are welcome. But I wanted to clear up some misconceptions about this site that were the subject of discussion a couple posts back, by Aloysha. Essentially taking me to task for not being realistic about the horrors of divorce, […]
Dear Chump Lady, Should I give him another chance?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband and I are in our 40s with two young children. This past year, he started an affair with a 25-year old woman, (he said it was only an emotional affair), and then moved into another apartment (he said it was to be closer to work–he works frequently at nights) that […]
Dear Chump Lady, Can “meh” exist for a unicorn?
Dear Chump Lady, Well, my husband and I are one of the Unicorns that reconciled last February of 2013. I was strong, kicked him out, got an attorney, did NC, and he came crawling back, broke up with her and followed the CL suggestions for reconciliation to a tee. He signed a postnup, went to […]
Reconciliation and Entitlement
As anyone who reads here knows, I’m not hopeful about reconciliation after infidelity. It’s not that I don’t believe successful reconciliations are possible — it’s just that I’ve seen scant evidence of them. (I liken this to a unicorn, mythical creatures, rarely sighted, that I want to believe in.) The biggest reason I am skeptical […]
Real Remorse? Or Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse?
So you’ve been chumped and you’re trying to decide if your cheater is truly sorry. Is it real remorse? Or is it genuine imitation Naugahyde remorse (GINR)? You know, sort of looks like the real thing, but upon closer inspection is a cheap fake. Here’s a handy check list to help you distinguish. 1. Humility. Cheating […]
The Unlikelihood of Immediate Remorse
There’s an article over at HuffPo today on how a cheater should tell their spouse they’ve been having an affair. There’s some discussion on tell versus don’t tell. (I’m not going there — duh, TELL. Yes. Of course.) But what interested me about the interview with Dr. Scott Haltzmann is his peculiar warning that cheaters […]
Dear Chump Lady, The dreaded unicorns are trying to pull me back
No, REALLY the comments should work now. Damn you Word Press! — CL Hi Chump Lady, I’m struggling – and I should know better. I’ve posted on your site, told my story, listened to and dished out wisdom of someone in the trenches of chumpdom….yet, after all this time – to quote Godfather III […]
