Dear Chump Lady, My sister is a chump, she actually sent me to your site years ago when she still seemed to have some sense. I still read your articles (as I love your humour and spot-on advice) — but she doesn’t read this blog anymore as she is a firm unicorn believer. So, it’s […]
Is This Meh or Did I Just Give Up?
Dear Chump Lady, Here’s my problem (and I’m sure this is due to hopium): Three years ago I caught my cheating husband in an emotional affair with a friend of mine. Went to counseling. He used it as a shield to continue and escalate the affair to a 2.5 year physical affair. All the time, I feel […]
Grieving the Affair Partner and Other BS
Here’s a Reconciliation Industrial Complex trope that can die in ignominy — chumps being patient as their cheater “grieves” the affair partner. Ain’t that special? What sort of quack gives license to the mope-fest that is the tragic loss of cake? “Oh, if you reconcile, you must show love and understanding to your partner right […]
How Do I Support My Friend’s Reconciliation?
Dear Chump Lady How do I support my friend through “reconciliation” with her abusive cheating husband? Last year one of my best friends, “Dianne” found out her husband, A-hole, had been having an affair for six months, he told her they only slept together once, yeah right. When she confronted him he walked out on […]
‘Don’t Call It Snooping’
Dear Chump Lady, I need to get on the soapbox and say this. Back when Horace the “Porn Addict” and I were clients of the couples therapy arm of the RIC (well, I was a client and he was a tourist), I used to catch hell from everyone concerned over “snooping.” It went like this: […]
‘I’m Trying to Show Her the Guy She Fell in Love With’
Hi Chump Lady, Great website! I just discovered last Sunday that my wife of 13 years has been cheating on me with “some one she has very strong feelings for” for the past two months. We have 3 young beautiful children and this guy is married with two kids. My wife wouldn’t tell me his […]
My Friend Is the Marriage Police
Dear Chump Lady, Any advice about how to help or deal with my friend, Carolyn, who found out two years ago that her beloved husband, Sparkly Dick (not his real name) of 5 years was cheating on her, shortly before he dumped her to run off with his Cliche Younger OW? Six months later, Sparkly […]
Nice versus Kind
There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as “nice people,” but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it’s an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.) Now, I don’t want […]
UBT: “Blowing up the Marriage to Improve the Marriage”
A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a subconscious way of blowing up our marriage to improve it. It was physiological, my brain enjoyed the dopamine. I’m assuming from the “my brain enjoyed the dopamine” Deaun is the […]
‘My therapist wants to know how I caused my husband to cheat’
Dear Chump Lady, I just finished reading your book. Your words about using caution when finding the right therapist were life changing for me. I found out after 24 years of marriage that my husband had been having an affair for over a year. In the many counseling sessions I have attended since D-Day, I […]
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