A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a subconscious way of blowing up our marriage to improve it. It was physiological, my brain enjoyed the dopamine. I’m assuming from the “my brain enjoyed the dopamine” Deaun is the […]
Is It Okay to Give a Cheater a Second Chance?
Dear Chump Lady, I find your advice spot-on, and I share you skepticism of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. I’m wondering if you ever could be convinced in any case of reconciliation? The cheater in my life’s affair wasn’t nearly as egregious as the people who write in — I get that isn’t saying much since […]
What Kept You Stuck with a Cheater?
Very few people react to betrayal with calm and clarity. We’re broadsided. Flattened. Confused. Most of us ran with the unicorn herd for awhile and tried to reconcile. Some are still working it out, either hanging in there to see if the remorse is real, or lining up the ducks in case it isn’t. I’ve […]
My Sister Is the Marriage Police
Dear Chump Lady, My sister is a chump, she actually sent me to your site years ago when she still seemed to have some sense. I still read your articles (as I love your humour and spot-on advice) — but she doesn’t read this blog anymore as she is a firm unicorn believer. So, it’s […]
Is This Meh or Did I Just Give Up?
Dear Chump Lady, Here’s my problem (and I’m sure this is due to hopium): Three years ago I caught my cheating husband in an emotional affair with a friend of mine. Went to counseling. He used it as a shield to continue and escalate the affair to a 2.5 year physical affair. All the time, I feel […]
Grieving the Affair Partner and Other BS
Here’s a Reconciliation Industrial Complex trope that can die in ignominy — chumps being patient as their cheater “grieves” the affair partner. Ain’t that special? What sort of quack gives license to the mope-fest that is the tragic loss of cake? “Oh, if you reconcile, you must show love and understanding to your partner right […]
How Do I Support My Friend’s Reconciliation?
Dear Chump Lady How do I support my friend through “reconciliation” with her abusive cheating husband? Last year one of my best friends, “Dianne” found out her husband, A-hole, had been having an affair for six months, he told her they only slept together once, yeah right. When she confronted him he walked out on […]
‘Don’t Call It Snooping’
Dear Chump Lady, I need to get on the soapbox and say this. Back when Horace the “Porn Addict” and I were clients of the couples therapy arm of the RIC (well, I was a client and he was a tourist), I used to catch hell from everyone concerned over “snooping.” It went like this: […]
‘I’m Trying to Show Her the Guy She Fell in Love With’
Hi Chump Lady, Great website! I just discovered last Sunday that my wife of 13 years has been cheating on me with “some one she has very strong feelings for” for the past two months. We have 3 young beautiful children and this guy is married with two kids. My wife wouldn’t tell me his […]
My Friend Is the Marriage Police
Dear Chump Lady, Any advice about how to help or deal with my friend, Carolyn, who found out two years ago that her beloved husband, Sparkly Dick (not his real name) of 5 years was cheating on her, shortly before he dumped her to run off with his Cliche Younger OW? Six months later, Sparkly […]
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