Category: Reconciliation

The Unicorn of Reconciliation

We Reconciled… He Cheated Again

Hi Chump Lady, I just finished your book… For the second time. Two years ago I found out he had an affair with a 20-something …

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‘Why Do Reconciliation Bloggers Annoy Me?’

Dearest Chump Lady, Why does the Reconciliation Industrial Complex annoy me so much? I don’t want to name any names, but while looking for support …

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Esther Perel’s Myth of the Good Cheater

So, Esther Perel follows me on Twitter. Which is big of her considering I told her to bite me. On the other hand, there might be something …

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Mindfuck blender

The ‘People Pleaser’ Excuse

I used to see this “wayward” excuse all the time on infidelity RIC forums — the cheater isn’t a vapid, selfish, destructive person. No! They’re a …

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The Pretzel Logic of the 180

If you’ve spent any time reading the reconciliation literature, you’ll notice a lot of reference to the “180.” She won’t stop seeing her affair partner? …

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No One Is Entitled to Reconciliation

I know my message — “leave a cheater, gain a life” is not popular with cheaters and the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. I mean, duh. At …

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shrink

UBT: Gottman’s ‘Reviving Trust After an Affair’

Yesterday, when we discussed Gottman’s The Four Horseman as an instrument of cheater mindfuckery, an alert chump sent me further reading on the Gottman’s. Apparently they …

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The Resentment Rap

Dear Chump Lady, It seems if people aren’t on the Esther Perel train when it comes to their relationship ideologies, they talk about the Gottman’s. …

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UBT: “Your Cheating Spouse Is the Victim, NOT You!”

Oh hey, were we talking about DARVO this week? (Deny, attack, reverse victim offender.) Do I ever have a heaping pile o’ mindfuckery for you …

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‘I Have a Hate in My Heart Where Love Used to Be’

Dear Chump Lady, My husband had an affair during our 19th year of marriage with a person in his graduate class. She sent me a …

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Why Blame the Chump?

Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? …

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UBT: He Blew Up the Marriage to Improve It

A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a …

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The Unicorn of Reconciliation

Is It Okay to Give a Cheater a Second Chance?

Dear Chump Lady, I find your advice spot-on, and I share you skepticism of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. I’m wondering if you ever could be …

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Unicorn cage

What Kept You Stuck with a Cheater?

Very few people react to betrayal with calm and clarity. We’re broadsided. Flattened. Confused. Most of us ran with the unicorn herd for awhile and …

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chasing unicorn

My Sister Is the Marriage Police

Dear Chump Lady, My sister is a chump, she actually sent me to your site years ago when she still seemed to have some sense. …

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meh

Is This Meh or Did I Just Give Up?

Dear Chump Lady, Here’s my problem (and I’m sure this is due to hopium): Three years ago I caught my cheating husband in an emotional affair with …

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cake

Grieving the Affair Partner and Other BS

Here’s a Reconciliation Industrial Complex trope that can die in ignominy — chumps being patient as their cheater “grieves” the affair partner. Ain’t that special? …

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not a unicorn

How Do I Support My Friend’s Reconciliation?

Dear Chump Lady How do I support my friend through “reconciliation” with her abusive cheating husband? Last year one of my best friends, “Dianne” found …

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‘Don’t Call It Snooping’

Dear Chump Lady, I need to get on the soapbox and say this. Back when Horace the “Porn Addict” and I were clients of the …

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chasing unicorn

‘I’m Trying to Show Her the Guy She Fell in Love With’

Hi Chump Lady, Great website!  I just discovered last Sunday that my wife of 13 years has been cheating on me with “some one she …

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