ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Where’s the Data on Reconciliation?

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Dear Chump Lady, Here is what would have helped move me forward, something that seems more rare than unicorns themselves: unicorn research. I’d expected that relationship experts would have gobs of years-long, scientifically blessed research on topics that really matter when you’re struggling to figure out what to do, right? Because when you go unicorn […]

How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity

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(No, not really. I’m just trying to mess with Google Analytics today.) Many people tell me they wish they’d found Chump Lady sooner, before their ex inflicted another affair/ran off with the 401K/impregnated the schmoopie —  but alas they were googling “How to save my marriage” instead of “How to leave a cheater.” So, all you […]

Are ‘Emotional Friendships’ with Other Women Cheating?

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Dear Chump Lady, I’m eternally grateful to my friends for directing me to your site, even though it complicates most of the advice I’ve been hearing about my marriage. Here’s my situation: I’ve been married to John for 9 years. We have an infant son. About four months ago, John told me he and one […]

UBT: My Husband Stopped Cheating on Me After 35 Years

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The UBT can’t even. The Universal Bullshit Translator got several requests to shred the Guardian’s “Family” feature (seriously editors, FAMILY? Really?) “My husband has stopped cheating on me after 35 years“. It’s the confessions of a woman who stood for her marriage and at last report has won a decades-long pick me dance. Among the […]

Therapy Fails?

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Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out hearts, brains, and courage. You either bring that stuff to the shrink sofa, or you don’t. So today’s Fun (?) Friday Challenge is to share your Therapy Fails. It can […]

UBT: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity

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Every crime needs an investigation. Not to worry, Inspector Esther Perel is on the case! And now you can be an amateur sleuth too thanks to this free download on Amazon: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity. Whodunnit? Well, that’s obvious. It’s that cheater sitting next to you. (Gasp!) But is it really? Maybe… maybe… […]

Why Can’t I Say ‘Cheater’?

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Dear Chump Lady. I love your blog, but I am on the fence about staying or leaving. I am in recovery mode. I follow several people on Twitter for and against reconciliation and today I was shocked to see the post from Rosie Joseph and Elle saying not to use the word “cheater.” Why the […]

UBT the Trust Bank

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CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]

UBT: ‘Dear Therapist’

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Sometimes I wonder if I made up the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. How could advice be so manifestly stupid and devoid of commonsense? It’s a joke, right? Some kind of cruel performance art? Then in waltzes Lori Gottlieb aka ‘Dear Therapist’ of the Atlantic Monthly. While other bullshit artists are pickling sharks in formaldehyde or suspending […]