Category: Reconciliation

My Friend Is the Marriage Police

Dear Chump Lady, Any advice about how to help or deal with my friend, Carolyn, who found out two years ago that her beloved husband, …

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Nice versus Kind

There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters …

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UBT: “Blowing up the Marriage to Improve the Marriage”

A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a …

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shrink

‘My therapist wants to know how I caused my husband to cheat’

Dear Chump Lady, I just finished reading your book. Your words about using caution when finding the right therapist were life changing for me. I …

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Where’s the Data on Reconciliation?

Dear Chump Lady, Here is what would have helped move me forward, something that seems more rare than unicorns themselves: unicorn research. I’d expected that …

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How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity

(No, not really. I’m just trying to mess with Google Analytics today.) Many people tell me they wish they’d found Chump Lady sooner, before their ex …

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Are ‘Emotional Friendships’ with Other Women Cheating?

Dear Chump Lady, I’m eternally grateful to my friends for directing me to your site, even though it complicates most of the advice I’ve been …

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unicorn

UBT: My Husband Stopped Cheating on Me After 35 Years

The UBT can’t even. The Universal Bullshit Translator got several requests to shred the Guardian’s “Family” feature (seriously editors, FAMILY? Really?) “My husband has stopped …

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Mr. Mindfuck

Therapy Fails?

Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out …

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shrink

UBT: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity

Every crime needs an investigation. Not to worry, Inspector Esther Perel is on the case! And now you can be an amateur sleuth too thanks …

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timid forest creature

Cheating Wife Needs a ‘Safe Space’

Dear Chump Lady, I got married 3 years ago and recently my wife and I had a baby. My wife and baby are both gorgeous, …

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Hopium

Why Can’t I Say ‘Cheater’?

Dear Chump Lady. I love your blog, but I am on the fence about staying or leaving. I am in recovery mode. I follow several …

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UBT the Trust Bank

CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went …

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UBT: ‘Dear Therapist’

Sometimes I wonder if I made up the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. How could advice be so manifestly stupid and devoid of commonsense? It’s a joke, …

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The Unlikelihood of Immediate Remorse

There was an article over at HuffPo once on how a cheater should tell their spouse they’ve been having an affair. A discussion on tell versus …

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The Unicorn of Reconciliation

RIC Tag Lines?

I got a Twitter response to yesterday’s column taking me to task for encouraging “irresponsible” behavior (lawyering up and leaving a cheating husband) within two …

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UBT: Why Happy People Cheat

I’m sure you’re all curious “Why Happy People Cheat.” ChumpPrincess sent me a link from the Good Men Project with that title. The UBT groaned, “Haven’t …

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When You Piss Off the Unicorns

I’m sure it will come as a surprise to no one to discover that I am not exactly revered in RIC circles. You’d think given …

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Beware the Timid Forest Creatures

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

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mask

Forgiving the ‘Sex Addict’

Whenever I think I’ve overstated the pernicious ubiquity of The Reconciliation Industrial Complex (RIC), something pops up on my news feed and gobsmacks me all …

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