Dear Chump Lady, Any advice (beyond the obvious lawyering up) about the following scenario (which maybe isn’t all that uncommon, judging from my attorney’s reaction): My big D-day wasn’t when I discovered the latest infidelity, (there have been several of those over the years, which caused heartache but not surprise — he cheated when we […]
An Interview with Jen Waite, Author of “A Beautiful, Terrible Thing”
Jen Waite lived a nightmare we here at Chump Nation can all relate to — one terrible day she discovered her spouse had a double life. Her husband was not the person he represented himself to be. He was a fraud, a liar, a con. Jen’s world fell apart. She was a new mother at […]
UBT: There Is No Right or Wrong in the World
Dear Chump Lady, I am well on my way to meh after divorcing and dealing with texbook cheater speak for the last 5 years. The other day though, cheater spoke to our teens telling them out front that there is no right or wrong in the world. It’s just their perceptions. Now, most of what […]
Dear Chump Lady, He’s in the closet. How do I tell his wife?
Dear Chump Lady, A few months ago, I met a guy at a bar. We hit it off, and I invited him back to my place. I asked him if he was single; he said he was. He also said he was closeted. We started hooking up regularly. Then, a week ago, I happened to […]
The “I Fail to Understand Your Hostility” Mindfuck
There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can sputter some pathetic lies, or shrug and play dumb. The IFTUYH mindfucker, however, is one cool customer. Zero adaptive anxiety. Your inchoate rage just bounces off their wall of smug. This crazy […]
Dear America, You’re in an abusive relationship
Dear America, You’re in an abusive relationship. And I should know… I’ve been there. Like you, I was infatuated at first. Swept off my feet at his bravado and direct straight talk. He wasn’t like the other guys — he got me. Like, if I was into art museums? He was into art museums. If […]
When Your Cheater Is Also a Sicko
So the other day, we had a discussion going in the comments about cheaters who do it in the marital bed, the family motorhome, the truck, etc. My opinion is these freaks are a certain subset of cheaters — the real sickos. It’s not enough to cheat, they get an extra kick from secretly debasing their chumps. […]
UBT: Fred Armisen: Cheating “Is Just Something That Happens”
Apparently, comedian Fred Armisen (of SNL and Portlandia fame) enjoys some measure of renown as a douchebag. But like the characters he plays, he’s a nonchalant, unstudied sort of douche. Scratch the surface it’s just more irony and snark. And more surface. So he’s a superficial Hollywood guy who has a reputation for fucking around — […]
When Your Cheater Is Also a Predator
As any chump can tell you, the pain of betrayal is a motherfucker. That stomach lurching, heart stopping moment when you realize your partner was not who you thought they were. Their mask slips, the truth is revealed, and you’re devastated. If you read this blog, you’ve been there. Cheating is so common, so insidious that […]
Dear Chump Lady, My cheating husband won’t move out
Dear Chump Lady, Were it not for your blog I would have been struggling through the “pick me dance” and following the misguided self-destructive teachings of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. I happened upon you shortly after I discovered (after having a bad feeling) that my STB-binge drinking-XH had secured himself a “wealthy” (his own words) […]
