Dear Chump Lady My husband told me about his affair 3 years ago. (Which lasted 5 years.) He cut off contact with the other woman at that time. We are still together and have 2 teenagers. Today was his birthday. I was busy making a gourmet dinner and dessert for him, when our home phone […]
When You’re the Parent in the Relationship
One common thread I see running through a lot of stories here is that the chump is takes a parental role in the relationship. Gah! This person won’t pay the bills/watch the children/work a job and I must do this and then they resent me for it! Totally maddening. I was completely guilty of being […]
Cream of Mindfuck Soup
So, being a Texan and all, my husband loves to delight me with Ted Cruz news stories. For the record, neither of us can stand Cruz. Neither can the majority of Texans or Republicans, apparently. Lindsey Graham recently said, “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the […]
Nice Vs. Kind
There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as “nice people,” but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it’s an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.) Now, I don’t want […]
Your Very Best Spackle, Please
At breakfast the other day my husband ran a spackle scenario by me. He was reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul for Couples.” Let me stop here. I said, “I can’t tell them you were reading ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul for Couples,’ they’re going to think I made you up. Like you’re a magical goat […]
Duggar Family Dysfunction
I confess I’m watching the implosion of the Duggar family wholesomeness with keen interest. My husband is an inveterate channel flipper, and he often lands on “19 Kids and Counting” just to mess with me. “NOOOO! Not the Christian wackos!” My creepdar goes off the charts every time Jim Bob appears with his fatherly hair helmet and […]
Spackle & Spackle Associates
As chumps, it’s bad enough that we spackle. What’s worse is when the world spackles with you. Spackle, for those new to Chump Lady, is the term I’ve given to slopping over the glaring faults and red flags of your cheater. In real life, spackle is the goop you use to fill unsightly dings and gouges in a […]
50 Shades of Subtle Nuance
You want to get my knickers in a twist? Accuse this blog of “black and white” thinking. Ladies and gentlemen, some things are black and white, right and wrong. It’s okay to say so. Genocide? Never okay. Incest? Wrong. Child abuse? Wrong again. Rape? Bad. Mugging senior citizens? Not the done thing. See how that goes? […]
Nice vs. Kind
There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as “nice people,” but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it’s an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.) Now, I don’t want […]
Dear Chump Lady, Am I guilty of splitting too?
Dear Chump Lady, This letter was spurred by your post about Love, The All Purpose Spackle. My problem is kind of the opposite. I’ve been thinking about the very singular prism through which I now see my ex. I think about the time I spend on your site and reading about other people’s experiences and […]
