So the blog-odometer flipped 30 million page views last week. (And I failed to notice until yesterday.) Which I thought deserved some sort of pause and moment of contemplation. Christ on a cracker, there are a lot of chumps. Over 5.5 million unique visitors, to be exact. Of course, I don’t know if they’re all […]
Character Assassination: 6 Ways to React to a False Narrative
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
He Says I’m “UnChristian” for Divorcing Him
Dear Chump Lady – I’m 6.5 months since D-day and filed for divorce 2.5 months ago. My daughters are 17 and 20. The 20 year-old and I discovered the affair after returning from a family vacation (which he skipped again) and the house was magically clean and all visible signs of me hidden. His response […]
Do I Tell Her Family Why We’re Divorced?
Dear Chump Lady, 4 months out from D-Day. Wife of two years confesses she had multiple affairs and abandons me for AP#3 to go off and work in Spain. She was awful at the very end. Tons of cheating, tons of lies, stole from me, and showed zero remorse. Have not heard from her since. […]
Dear Chump Lady, What happens to couple friends after divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post-divorce after discovering my ex-wife’s infidelity. My question is what happens to couple friends after divorce? Can anyone remain impartial and be friends with both sides, or do things naturally drift one way or the other over time? Can I remain friends with someone who has seen me […]
When You’re Married and ‘Fall in Love’ with Someone Else
Dear Chump Lady, I am a recovering chump, happily divorced and living in the State of Meh. Your blog saved me, and I still read it regularly to remind myself how far I have come. My 17-year-old daughter (10 at the time of divorce) recently asked me about infidelity. She is aware of her father’s […]
No Tag Backs, OW
Hi CL! I’m a newbie chump (7 weeks going on 8) and up until now I behaved really rather well. I kept my cool and didn’t do the pick me dance, I managed not to drunk dial soon-to-be-ex-husband, up until last week he was still ‘harassing’ me via text/emails/calls (especially when drunk) with a mix […]
If It Feels Good — Don’t Do It
Psssst! I have a little secret to lay on you…. People are not interested in your messy divorce. Okay, maybe your parents and closest friend. Certainly it sucks for your children. But the rest of humanity? I’m sorry. They do not care for the particulars. I know how unjust this is, especially if you’ve been cheated […]
Dear Chump Lady, My therapist says don’t tell anyone he cheated
Dear Chump Lady, Do you think chumps should tell their family and friends that the reason they are separated from their spouse is because he/she cheated? My marriage counselor (MC)’s advice was that the reason for the separation was not anyone else’s business and said that by telling the truth (i.e. their spouse cheated) the betrayed […]
Why Can’t I Say ‘Cheater’?
Dear Chump Lady. I love your blog, but I am on the fence about staying or leaving. I am in recovery mode. I follow several people on Twitter for and against reconciliation and today I was shocked to see the post from Rosie Joseph and Elle saying not to use the word “cheater.” Why the […]
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