Dear Chump Lady, My now soon-to-be-ex husband of almost 30 years cheated on me twice — that I know of. The first one and the current one were/are full-blown long-term affairs. I’m heartbroken, but doing my best. I divorced him after the first affair, took him back, and gladly remarried him upon his request. I […]
When Your Kids Believe the Lies
Dear Chump Lady, What can you say to your adult children to make them understand that the gaslighting, lying, cheating, stealing, abusive break up and divorce is not “People grow in different directions, so all relationships are temporary.”? Background, my EX, her father, started gaslighting, lying, cheating, stealing and being abusive and I, like most […]
‘My Sister Blames Me for My Husband’s Affair’
Dear Chump Lady, I just had a conversation with my sister about my cheating husband. I can’t seem to get it through her head that his cheating wasn’t because there were marital problems. Nothing pisses me off more than having to listen to people say, “Well, he cheated because he wasn’t getting what he needed […]
Is Reporting Him Revenge?
Dear Chump Lady, My ex cheated on me with a very good friend for almost 2 years. We were actually couple friends as well. She filed for divorce last summer after a year of their affair and her divorce was final the end of Feb 2020. I found out about the affair 1 week after […]
He Cheated… Everyone Feels Sorry for Him
Dear Chump Lady, It has been 9 months since D-Day #2 and today would have been our 9th anniversary. A few days ago my STBXH made a public social media post about his mental health — admitting contemplating suicide, being in counseling and on meds — even (and this made me sick) making a vague […]
How Come No One But Chumps Seems to Get It?
Hi Chump Lady, Could you please give some advice as to how I can stop obsessing about cheater apologists? Absolutely nobody except those who have been cheated on seem to get it. My own mother told me that she can’t judge all cheaters because she doesn’t know the circumstances — there could be gray areas. […]
‘I Want to Blast Them on Facebook’
Dear Chump Lady, I just found out after 5 or 6 years of absolute insane digging (mental breakdowns, trips to rehabs, gaslighting to the extreme, abuse that would cause anyone to want to kill themselves) that my dear darling husband’s side piece is no other than my fucking NEIGHBOR!!!!! I was on here about a […]
6 Ways to Respond (or Not) to Character Assassination
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
Steal This Idea
So the blog-odometer flipped 30 million page views last week. (And I failed to notice until yesterday.) Which I thought deserved some sort of pause and moment of contemplation. Christ on a cracker, there are a lot of chumps. Over 5.5 million unique visitors, to be exact. Of course, I don’t know if they’re all […]
Character Assassination: 6 Ways to React to a False Narrative
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
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