Dear Chump Lady, It has been 9 months since D-Day #2 and today would have been our 9th anniversary. A few days ago my STBXH made a public social media post about his mental health — admitting contemplating suicide, being in counseling and on meds — even (and this made me sick) making a vague […]
How Come No One But Chumps Seems to Get It?
Hi Chump Lady, Could you please give some advice as to how I can stop obsessing about cheater apologists? Absolutely nobody except those who have been cheated on seem to get it. My own mother told me that she can’t judge all cheaters because she doesn’t know the circumstances — there could be gray areas. […]
‘I Want to Blast Them on Facebook’
Dear Chump Lady, I just found out after 5 or 6 years of absolute insane digging (mental breakdowns, trips to rehabs, gaslighting to the extreme, abuse that would cause anyone to want to kill themselves) that my dear darling husband’s side piece is no other than my fucking NEIGHBOR!!!!! I was on here about a […]
6 Ways to Respond (or Not) to Character Assassination
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
Steal This Idea
So the blog-odometer flipped 30 million page views last week. (And I failed to notice until yesterday.) Which I thought deserved some sort of pause and moment of contemplation. Christ on a cracker, there are a lot of chumps. Over 5.5 million unique visitors, to be exact. Of course, I don’t know if they’re all […]
Character Assassination: 6 Ways to React to a False Narrative
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
He Says I’m “UnChristian” for Divorcing Him
Dear Chump Lady – I’m 6.5 months since D-day and filed for divorce 2.5 months ago. My daughters are 17 and 20. The 20 year-old and I discovered the affair after returning from a family vacation (which he skipped again) and the house was magically clean and all visible signs of me hidden. His response […]
Do I Tell Her Family Why We’re Divorced?
Dear Chump Lady, 4 months out from D-Day. Wife of two years confesses she had multiple affairs and abandons me for AP#3 to go off and work in Spain. She was awful at the very end. Tons of cheating, tons of lies, stole from me, and showed zero remorse. Have not heard from her since. […]
Dear Chump Lady, What happens to couple friends after divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post-divorce after discovering my ex-wife’s infidelity. My question is what happens to couple friends after divorce? Can anyone remain impartial and be friends with both sides, or do things naturally drift one way or the other over time? Can I remain friends with someone who has seen me […]
When You’re Married and ‘Fall in Love’ with Someone Else
Dear Chump Lady, I am a recovering chump, happily divorced and living in the State of Meh. Your blog saved me, and I still read it regularly to remind myself how far I have come. My 17-year-old daughter (10 at the time of divorce) recently asked me about infidelity. She is aware of her father’s […]
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