A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
Therapist Says Not to Tell Anyone Her Husband Cheated
Dear Chump Lady, Do you think chumps should tell their family and friends that the reason they are separated from their spouse is because he/she cheated? My marriage counselor (MC)’s advice was that the reason for the separation was not anyone else’s business and said that by telling the truth (i.e. their spouse cheated) the betrayed […]
Enough with Divorce Shame
My cousin got divorced yesterday and I noticed today on her Facebook page that she wrote a very kind thank you to her friends and family who helped her through this difficult “journey.” She didn’t mention what that journey was — divorce. Several people wrote “You’re in my prayers,” and “hugs” and other supportive kind things, a few […]
How Are You Changing the Narrative?
Today’s award for righteous sass goes out to KatiePig. When confronted with the faux sophistication of cheating apologists, here’s her response: This is me at this point in my life. I’m the person who replies “Oh cool, I’ll let everyone know your husband is available for fucking, since you think this is great. Oh hi, […]
Infidelity Euphemisms
Cheating is such an ugly word. That’s why the Reconciliation Industrial Complex has so many euphemisms. Cheating? No, they strayed or were wayward. (Blown off course! Get it?) Fuck buddy? No, mistress, companion, or lover. So much more sanitized. And cheaters themselves give us so many euphemisms! “Hiking the Appalachian trail” comes to mind. One of the things we […]
Allen vs. Farrow
Many chumps have reached out to ask me if I’ve watched the HBO documentary “Allen vs. Farrow,” about Dylan Farrow’s (alleged, convincing… utterly convincing) sex abuse by filmmaker Woody Allen and the custody trial Allen waged against his long-term partner, actress Mia Farrow. Quack therapists and parental alienation? Hysterical scorned women? Litigation abuse? This is […]
Don’t Send It, Three Reasons Why
Psssst! I have a little secret to lay on you…. People are not interested in your messy divorce. Okay, maybe your parents and closest friend. Certainly it sucks for your children. But the rest of humanity? I’m sorry. They do not care for the particulars. I know how unjust this is, especially if you’ve been cheated […]
Can I Tell His Family He Cheated?
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX informed me two weeks before Quarantine Thanksgiving that we had to talk. I shut the lid of my laptop and asked, “What do you want to talk about? Do you want to watch something together?” (I was deep into an episode of something that he hated.) He said, “I want […]
Controlling the Narrative
Dear Chump Lady, My now soon-to-be-ex husband of almost 30 years cheated on me twice — that I know of. The first one and the current one were/are full-blown long-term affairs. I’m heartbroken, but doing my best. I divorced him after the first affair, took him back, and gladly remarried him upon his request. I […]
When Your Kids Believe the Lies
Dear Chump Lady, What can you say to your adult children to make them understand that the gaslighting, lying, cheating, stealing, abusive break up and divorce is not “People grow in different directions, so all relationships are temporary.”? Background, my EX, her father, started gaslighting, lying, cheating, stealing and being abusive and I, like most […]
- 1
- 2
- 3
- …
- 11
- Next Page »
